aiki
Regular Member
How do you go on when you realize God's plan is for you to go through EVERY situation you have prayed for decades to avoid? I have lost trust in Him. I don't want his plan. I have literally begged Him for decades to prevent all the problems he has put in my life. (Health issues for my wife, monetary issues, job issues, etc). I don't care what the reward is, it isn't enough. My deepest heart's desire is for all of the problems to be fixed/not happen. I can't bring myself to trust Him again. I also don't care what he has done for others (Job, Joseph, etc). So what do you do?
So, what's the alternative to forsaking God's will to serve your own? Will your wife's health improve because you've rejected God? Will you become a millionaire by turning your back on God? Will your job issues resolve now that you've spurned your Maker? I very much doubt it. But now that you've cast off your Creator, what does your wife's suffering mean? Nothing. It's just pointless misery, serving no purpose whatever. Your money and job problems are also just empty difficulties that afflict you aimlessly and from which nothing of lasting value can be drawn. Without God, the sickness, tragedy and death we all suffer are utterly futile and worthless experiences.
A life centered upon God, though, finds eternal purpose and meaning in the most difficult of circumstances. Sickness, tragedy and death are important tools God uses to work in us an "exceeding and eternal weight of glory."
BUt, I get why these truths fade in importance in the face of unrelieved difficulties. Pain, and stress, and fear can crowd around mercilessly and quickly drain the light and joy from life. God would use these inevitable and unavoidable times of suffering to accomplish His perfect and everlasting purposes in our lives. But, if we are determined that, if He will not alleviate our hurt, He must be denied, then we are left to navigate the storms of life alone, unsupported by God's divine comfort and strength. Is this a better alternative to crowding up close to God and trusting Him? I don't see how.
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