We all struggle in our battle against the deceitfulness of sin, Satan & this worldly system as Christians, all throughout the world. We need to help each other in this struggle to love & obey the Lord.
First, there are a number of things you KNOW because of the revelation of God in the Scriptures.
Your former life up until your professed confession of faith in your blog, fit the picture of the the parable of the seed/soil/sower.
Luke 8:13 The seeds on rocky ground are those who hear the word & receive it with joy, but they have no root. They believe for a season, but in the TIME OF TESTING, they fall away.
Mark 4:16,17 And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness & have no root in themselves, & so endure but for a time. Afterward, when affliction or persecution arises for the word's sake, IMMEDIATELY THEY ARE OFFENDED.
Both of these occurred in your life, the falling away in time of testing & becoming offended with God.
This usually propels us into a life of sin & a hardening of the heart toward God, which you did in turning to the LGBT+ lifestyle, to try & find some meaning & purpose & love, since you rejected God's & the body of Christ. You KNEW it was wrong & sinful yet you did it anyway & found it too, didn't bring peace & purpose. That is what happens to all of us that reject God & choose sinful lifestyles.
The tough part is that sin DECEIVES US & when we practice it, it HARDENS OUR HEART. It takes time to be 'renewed in the spirit of our minds' & having the eyes of our heart 'enlightened' to KNOW the true things of God & the breadth, height, depth & width of God's agape love. We become deceived & our hearts become hardened to the things of God & His truth THAT WILL SET US FREE. And yes, God's holy freedom can & will happen if we daily turn from sin & turn to God to transform us to the very image of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Hebrews 3:12,13 See to it, brothers, that none of you has a wicked heart of unbelief that turns away from the living God. You must warn (exhort, encourage) each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin & hardened against God.
You KNOW that God biologically knit you together in your mother's womb as a male & God had a wonderful purpose & plans for your life for good, to accomplish His will & glorify Him. You were fearfully & wonderfully made in the image of God AS HE INTENDED.
Psalm 139:13-17 For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully & wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works & I know this very well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book & ordained for me before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God, how vast is their sum!
However, you still have deception on who God made you to be & some reluctance in your following statement: "I GUESS that is one of the many things that led me away from God- the fact that SO MANY CHRISTIANS SAY--that He could never love you if you are LGBT+.
When Adam sinned & God confronted him, Adam blamed Eve AND God--'the woman You gave me...' So you or I are no different than Adam. We love our sin & it deceives us & hardens our heart toward God. We can't STAY IN THIS DOUBT & CONFUSION & PARTIAL REPENTANCE. We can't blame others. We must confess our sin & turn away from it & back to God & what HE SAYS IS TRUE.
But the wonderful 'good news' of God is that He is merciful, willing to receive the prodigal son, who was lost but now is found, because he truly repented & turned back & humbled himself, becoming a slave & willing to do what is right. Yet the father welcomed him back as a son! The older son was angry but the lasting joy was receiving a lost son back to stay who had repented & was willing to bring forth good fruit that true repentance brings.
Jesus said, 'Repent AND believe the gospel (good news).'
Luke 3:8 Prove by the way you bear fruit that you have repented of your sins & turned to God. Don’t just say to each other, ‘We’re safe, for we are descendants of Abraham.’ That means nothing, for I tell you, God can create children of Abraham from these very stones.
Acts 26:13-20 About noon, O king, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, shining around me & my companions. We all fell to the ground & I heard a voice say to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me? It is hard for you to kick against the livestock prods.’ ‘Who are You, Lord?’ I asked.
‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. ‘But get up & stand on your feet. For I have appeared to you to appoint you as a SERVANT & AS A WITNESS of what you have seen from Me & what I WILL show you.
I will RESCUE you from your own people & from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light & from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins & an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Me.’
So then, King Agrippa, I was not DISOBEDIENT to the heavenly vision. First to those in Damascus & Jerusalem, then to everyone in the region of Judea & then to the Gentiles, I declared that they should REPENT & TURN TO GOD, PERFORMING DEEDS WORTHY OF THEIR REPENTANCE.
It wasn't easy for Paul. Neither will it be easy for you & I in following Christ. But the joy & peace is beyond understanding when we walk in the will of God. And each day that we do & continue to remain in His Words, the more freedom we gain each day from the power of sin, Satan & the system of this world over our lives.
We are in a spiritual battle each & every day. (Eph 6:10-18; I Peter 5:5-11, I Cor 10:13)
I Pet 5:5-11 Young men, in the same way, submit yourselves to your elders. And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, so that in due time He may exalt you. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
Be sober-minded & alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith & in the KNOWLEDGE that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the SAME KINDS OF SUFFERING.
And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore you, secure you, strengthen you & establish you. To Him be the power forever & ever. Amen.
John 8:12, 30-36 “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.” As Jesus spoke these things, many believed in Him. So He said to the Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, you are truly My disciples. Then you will know the truth & the truth will set you free.”
Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. And a servant does not always remain in the house, but a son always remains. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
You have made a confession of faith in your blog, placing your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Confessing Him as Lord means just that, He is now the Master & you now follow Him & obey what He taught.
You are still confused because you have believed lies. But 'God is not the author of confusion but of peace.' (I Corinthians 14:33)
You have turned back to the community & body of Christ & hopefully have turned away from the LGBT+ community by your repentance & confession to follow the Lord Jesus Christ now.
Those are two positive signs that you mean business with God & are turning from your rebellion toward God & turning away from a lifestyle of sinning.
We welcome you in the name of Christ, into the family of God, based on your confession of faith & your turning from your sin & wanting to be right with God now.
You will have struggles due to your former lifestyle
Matthew 13:15 For this people’s heart has grown callous; they hardly hear with their ears,
& they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts & TURN & I WOULD HEAL THEM.
God is healing you even now, in your mind, in your heart & in your sanctified relationships, with God & with other Christians.
I Cor 6:9-20 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who submit to or perform homosexual acts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor verbal abusers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
AND THAT IS WHAT SOME YOU WERE! But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ & by the Spirit of our God.
12“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. “Food for the stomach & the stomach for food,” but God will destroy them both. The body is not intended for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, & the Lord for the body. By His power God raised the Lord from the dead & He will raise us also.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ & unite them with a prostitute? Never! Or don’t you know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God with your body.