feel awful after ending an online "relationship"

Rev Clara Little · May 20, 2019

pinkjess said:
I ended an online "relationship/friendship/flirtation" a week ago and feel conflicted inside because I am sad to let the person go. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. I talked to him for a year and I hoped we would meet eventually but the opportunity never came about, or it was just put on the back burner. Anyways, I think what happened was the guy simply lost interest because I was a desperate ditz who had health problems and was annoying. I think he felt sorry for me because he knew I didn't have real life friends. It was my first "real relationship" that wasn't actually a relationship because we had never met. I'm 25 years old and never been kissed or dated anyone ever. Ha, how pathetic is that? There's people my age having their 2nd or 3rd kid and I sing to my cats and eat mayonnaise out of the jar.

I clung to this person a lot. He helped me through a lot of hard times that went on in my life. I told myself I knew he was meant for me and that I was going to be his wife someday. I wanted to be a good girlfriend to him. I guess my feelings were too strong because I think I was overbearing a lot of times. I could just text and text forever with him, never wanting it to stop. I daydreamed about us being together and I just wanted to be close to him all the time. It was like I was hooked on crack. But hey, isn't everyone's brain during the infatuation period? Except this infatuation period never really ended. At least not for me.

I ended it because I realized...reality. We live in different states, miles and miles away. My family didn't like him and told me I was never going to move if it worked out and if I did they would lock me up. A very close relative of mine is sick and has two kids, and I know if something happens to them or if they can't care for them anymore (heaven forbid) I would be the one to step in and help them. I couldn't marry this guy if it worked out between us anyway. And he is very immersed in his company and he didn't want to leave his state. Plus, I have health issues and as much as I wish I could be a wife someday, I know it may not be a wise undertaking. I can hardly manage caring for myself and my two cats. Plus I don't want to burden a man with my needs.

So you can see how easy it was for me to delve into this virtual romance. There was no risk attached, because it wasn't real.

I have no friends. I can't drive. I don't have any hobbies or interests that matter. I can't carry on a decent conversation. I never go anywhere. I just eat, sleep, consume, work for three days then sleep my weekends off. What kind of self-respecting man would want a woman like that? I'm boring and uninteresting. I feel like such a fool for thinking I had anything to offer. I feel like crap. It's embarrassing. I feel so ashamed of myself.

I don't know how to move on from this. I miss him. I want to talk to him again. I felt like he was my best friend. I have been managing without him, but I think about him every day. I miss his texts.

Hello to feeling aweful I bring you greetings from South Carolina. My first request is that you open the curtains in room where you are, can you see God's beautiful sunlight. As I read your request, I feel Spirit led to share some words of encouragement with you. I have a fb page called "Created In HIS Image-CIHI please like the page so that each day you will read encouragement on all sorts of topics. Because there is no name, may I call you AW...smile. First of all, it hurt me to read that you put your self down so badly in the dirt. God is love and He requires that we love ourselves before we can love others. I too have had and ended on line relationships for one reason or another. AW, the truth is we never really know who is on the other end of that relationship. I will describe myself so that you can see me in the spirit of God...I am 5'4 185lbs, brown skin, 58yrs old, and love God out of my mind. I love people and would love a man to love BUT I will not tolerate mess. I first had to take a long look in my mirror and see what God see. AW...you are beautiful in your own way. If there is anything you want to change, it is up to you. When it comes to friends, you have access to the world wide web and can actually have more friends than you can keep up with. Please stop putting yourself down, no matter your situation, you are living and breathing Gods air. I read the Bible everyday and listen to Christian music constantly, this is where I rec' my Encouragement. Hope to hear back from you soon or at least here through Christian Forum. God Bless. Clara

Willing-heart · May 20, 2019

pinkjess said:
No my social anxiety is bad

I don't think you should let anxiety keep you away from the church. God's power operates at its best in our weakness, not in our strength. I believe God wants you to focus on His Grace, and the power of His Grace – it will make your weaknesses look like strength. Focus on God's security, not your insecurities; Focus on God's limitless power, not your limitations. In Christ alone, we are assured of the Peace that passes all understanding that gives life to the body. It is this same peace Jesus said He leaves with us, and gives to us, unlike the peace the world has to offer or offers to us, which is only temporary.

Perhaps, instead of focusing on finding a partner for now, you could focus on finding the right church – a Bible-believing local church known for their love of God and God's people. A church service is a place where you get instructed and rooted in the Word of God so that you may grow into Christ-likeness. In the book of Ephesians 2:19-22, Paul uses the word ‘building’ as a metaphor to describe the church by referring to us (believers) as the stones and bricks joined together making up the whole structure of the building, and he refers to the chief cornerstone which the building is founded upon as Christ Jesus, because only when you come to ‘The Living Stone’ do you become a stone living. Can you imagine a building that has some of the stones and bricks missing? Can you imagine how draughty that building would be? If you are in Christ, you are essentially a part of the house Jesus is building.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you all your heart desires. Seek first and foremost the Kingdom of God, and all other things will be added. I know it's easier said than done, but please reflect on these things. May the Lord give you wisdom and understanding and a willing heart. Take care and God bless.

We are the Church.

Ronald · May 20, 2019

My two cents ... or three:
Life is about relationships:
#1. To be reconciled with God through Jesus.
#2. People
You have God and family. Online relationships, especially long distance ones are measurable according to how honest people are with each other. You seem to disclose everything all at once. That's honest, but not always wise. In this case you are seeking advice, so you must put everything on the table. But guard yourself with online relationships that aren't realistic and close in proximity. Nevertheless, it was real _ you communicated and shared your thoughts and He did as well.
What I hear about with online dating is a lot of deception go in on. People want to impress you and often, they aren't who they say they are.
I think whenever a person reveals they have Lyme disease and POTS to a possible contender, they will shy away.
Only those you have a loving relationship with already will hang with you.
With guys and gals, you have to eventually break bread with each other, court, face to face, hand in hand, go out and have fun.
Since you are ill, you need to TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH FIRST before any hope of a romantic relationship could happen.
The second thing is ( after you've taken care of the first), unless you joined a church and maybe a club with similar interests (and you need to get interested in something), Mr. Right is not going to knock on your door. You would be surprised, even a Bible study may lead to other activities, opportunities). You need to make yourself available for opportunities to present themselves. Seek the Lord first and He will give you your needs and desires.
Again, get well. I am convinced that natural cures can heal about any illness. I just googled your conditions and I saw drink lots of water (alkaline) and increase salt. I heard gray salt can cure cancer for example. Look into colloidal silver too - it's amazing.
The first thing I do if Im sick, I cut sugar intake, do an organic cleanse to flush out toxins. Dark greens, berries, lemon, drinks. No diet drinks - they actually make you gain weight. (Sucralose and nutrasweet are bad). VITAMINS D3 5000 I.U, C 3-5 GRAMS and othe super nutrients.
Find a alkaline water store and you will be amazed.
Diseases, bacteria, viruses cannot survive in oxygen rich environments.
Your body is not healing because it is most likely acidic which is why you need to ramp up with alkaline water and organic food - stay away from processed foods, preservatives. Buy it fresh, cook or eat raw. AND STAY AWAY FROM SUGAR and high carbs - just till you are better. ALL viruses and bacteria feed on sugar.
Get well first, then get out there.

well hey · May 20, 2019

God will get you someone and youl get kissed <3
Dont stress out
Im gonna pray for you know

Dear Jesus, please let jess meet a wonderful guy who is a spirit filled beleiver and love her for her with all her flaws and all her great qualities too. Let it be true love. And make her love her self despite any low self esteem, but raise her self love. In Jesus name amen.

youl be ok jess. Im in the same situation. the guy I talk too text me most of the time and doesnt see me often. Im hoping for the best in my own situation...been praying

ChicanaRose · May 20, 2019

pinkjess said:
No my social anxiety is bad

Hi Pinkjess, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. You did the right thing by ending the relationship with this man. You demonstrated wisdom, discernment, and self-awareness in your post. Kindness is also a great virtue that you seem to possess: You care about your family. That is a gem in a generation that is becoming increasingly selfish. I think you can be confident that a good man will see your good qualities.

As far as your social anxiety, I recommend seeing a therapist to work on it.

Joined2krist · May 20, 2019

You're still young, you still have time, don't stress yourself over an online relationship. You've never seen this guy before, for what it's worth he might be a "she" posing as a "he". If you've not seen this fellow before, you shouldn't throw caution to the wind by allowing yourself to fall deeply in love, it's risky. I think you should focus on building real life healthy relationships and one way you can do it is to get to know people around your neighborhood better. You can take your Cat for walks, you'll meet other Pet lovers in the process. I also think you should deal with your social anxiety by attending Church. We are not to forsake the fellowship of brethren as Christians. Hope you can try these things out. God bless

Robin Mauro · May 20, 2019

pinkjess said:
I ended an online "relationship/friendship/flirtation" a week ago and feel conflicted inside because I am sad to let the person go. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. I talked to him for a year and I hoped we would meet eventually but the opportunity never came about, or it was just put on the back burner. Anyways, I think what happened was the guy simply lost interest because I was a desperate ditz who had health problems and was annoying. I think he felt sorry for me because he knew I didn't have real life friends. It was my first "real relationship" that wasn't actually a relationship because we had never met. I'm 25 years old and never been kissed or dated anyone ever. Ha, how pathetic is that? There's people my age having their 2nd or 3rd kid and I sing to my cats and eat mayonnaise out of the jar.

I clung to this person a lot. He helped me through a lot of hard times that went on in my life. I told myself I knew he was meant for me and that I was going to be his wife someday. I wanted to be a good girlfriend to him. I guess my feelings were too strong because I think I was overbearing a lot of times. I could just text and text forever with him, never wanting it to stop. I daydreamed about us being together and I just wanted to be close to him all the time. It was like I was hooked on crack. But hey, isn't everyone's brain during the infatuation period? Except this infatuation period never really ended. At least not for me.

I ended it because I realized...reality. We live in different states, miles and miles away. My family didn't like him and told me I was never going to move if it worked out and if I did they would lock me up. A very close relative of mine is sick and has two kids, and I know if something happens to them or if they can't care for them anymore (heaven forbid) I would be the one to step in and help them. I couldn't marry this guy if it worked out between us anyway. And he is very immersed in his company and he didn't want to leave his state. Plus, I have health issues and as much as I wish I could be a wife someday, I know it may not be a wise undertaking. I can hardly manage caring for myself and my two cats. Plus I don't want to burden a man with my needs.

So you can see how easy it was for me to delve into this virtual romance. There was no risk attached, because it wasn't real.

I have no friends. I can't drive. I don't have any hobbies or interests that matter. I can't carry on a decent conversation. I never go anywhere. I just eat, sleep, consume, work for three days then sleep my weekends off. What kind of self-respecting man would want a woman like that? I'm boring and uninteresting. I feel like such a fool for thinking I had anything to offer. I feel like crap. It's embarrassing. I feel so ashamed of myself.

I don't know how to move on from this. I miss him. I want to talk to him again. I felt like he was my best friend. I have been managing without him, but I think about him every day. I miss his texts.

You are the righteousness of God in Christ. Start there. Don't put yourself down. He could've been married for all you know!

Brendan3248 · May 20, 2019

Hi. Let me start off by saying that I am a lot like you. I don't have many friends, I don't go out much and I also can't carry on a conversation. The last time I dated someone was in highschool and that was about 4 years ago. But then one day I came to the realisation that our lives don't belong to us, they belong to God. He made us the way we are for a reason, and if it is His will we will find the right person to love and marry. Each person He places in our way is there for a reason, and though it might not be revealed at this time, when the time is right you will learn exactly what this experience was ment to teach you. And remember that God is faithful and He knows what He is doing. Just wait, pray and keep the faith. I will pray for you as well, and my inbox is always open if you nead someone to talk to. God bless you.

Brendan3248 · May 20, 2019

Just one more thing. Remember what revelations Chapter 3 says: "I know your deeds. See, I placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name."
What I am trying to say is that there is nothing that God cannot do. All you have to do is believe it. He tells us approximately 366 times in the bible to not be afraid, because He is with us. And that is where I get my strength on the days that I feel discouraged or alone. Because I then remember that even though I feel alone I am not actually alone, because I have Jesus by my side 24/7. So even though you might not have a man in your life right now, remember that you still are not alone. God is with you now and forever. And when the time is right, He will make a way for you to meet the man you are ment to marry. Just believe and stand on the promises of God. And always pray.

Sketcher · May 20, 2019

pinkjess said:
Thank you. I really appreciate that. I am trying to eat healthier and workout to improve my health and I am working on getting well enough to try for my driver's license so I can start volunteering like I have wanted to do for so long. I want to believe good things can happen again

These are good steps.

When people break up, one of the healthier choices they make is to spend time with friends, or build a network of friends. Another one of them is to start doing something that seems interesting to them. Work these into your life, too.

TechyinAZ · May 21, 2019

I see a big red flag,

HUGE red flag, if your parents are actually going to "lock you up" in any sort of way. That is seriously wrong. You are an adult, and shouldn't be under the influence of your family like that, it is pure bondage. And unbiblical.

Please talk to your pastor about this. Your family shouldn't be forcing you to do anything.

This is especially true if you don't have any friends and your family isn't allowing you to visit like minded believers. Which is what we are supposed to do as believers. (Of course I'm speculating on this part...)

So don't feel too bad that you had to break up from that guy, yes if you were giving your heart out to him completely that is dangerous. But I completely understand why. Having no friends is absolutely devastating. I completely understand the feeling.

If you can find more like minded believers and physically interact and talk with them, I can assure you it will be much easier to let go. And hopefully LORD willing you will find a Godly man who will love and nurture you to the best of his abilities!

I pray the LORD blesses you thoroughly!!!! You aren't alone, I know what it's like to have basically no friends, and not to have any incentive to do much during the day. I've found that praying and reading and soaking yourself in the Word of God really helps with this!

Reborn1977 · May 24, 2019

pinkjess said:
I ended an online "relationship/friendship/flirtation" a week ago and feel conflicted inside because I am sad to let the person go. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. I talked to him for a year and I hoped we would meet eventually but the opportunity never came about, or it was just put on the back burner. Anyways, I think what happened was the guy simply lost interest because I was a desperate ditz who had health problems and was annoying. I think he felt sorry for me because he knew I didn't have real life friends. It was my first "real relationship" that wasn't actually a relationship because we had never met. I'm 25 years old and never been kissed or dated anyone ever. Ha, how pathetic is that? There's people my age having their 2nd or 3rd kid and I sing to my cats and eat mayonnaise out of the jar.

I clung to this person a lot. He helped me through a lot of hard times that went on in my life. I told myself I knew he was meant for me and that I was going to be his wife someday. I wanted to be a good girlfriend to him. I guess my feelings were too strong because I think I was overbearing a lot of times. I could just text and text forever with him, never wanting it to stop. I daydreamed about us being together and I just wanted to be close to him all the time. It was like I was hooked on crack. But hey, isn't everyone's brain during the infatuation period? Except this infatuation period never really ended. At least not for me.

I ended it because I realized...reality. We live in different states, miles and miles away. My family didn't like him and told me I was never going to move if it worked out and if I did they would lock me up. A very close relative of mine is sick and has two kids, and I know if something happens to them or if they can't care for them anymore (heaven forbid) I would be the one to step in and help them. I couldn't marry this guy if it worked out between us anyway. And he is very immersed in his company and he didn't want to leave his state. Plus, I have health issues and as much as I wish I could be a wife someday, I know it may not be a wise undertaking. I can hardly manage caring for myself and my two cats. Plus I don't want to burden a man with my needs.

So you can see how easy it was for me to delve into this virtual romance. There was no risk attached, because it wasn't real.

I have no friends. I can't drive. I don't have any hobbies or interests that matter. I can't carry on a decent conversation. I never go anywhere. I just eat, sleep, consume, work for three days then sleep my weekends off. What kind of self-respecting man would want a woman like that? I'm boring and uninteresting. I feel like such a fool for thinking I had anything to offer. I feel like crap. It's embarrassing. I feel so ashamed of myself.

I don't know how to move on from this. I miss him. I want to talk to him again. I felt like he was my best friend. I have been managing without him, but I think about him every day. I miss his texts.

Whether a relationship is a romance or a friendship when it is not mutual it is best to let the relationship go. Seeking after a relationship with a person who does not show mutual interest typically only results in pain, feelings of being undervalued, and the like.

Have enough respect for yourself to only pursue a relationship with people who truly want one with you - you will be all the happier for this act of self-respect and dignity.

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feel awful after ending an online "relationship"

Rev Clara Little

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Willing-heart

In Christ Alone.

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Ronald

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well hey

little.soul

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ChicanaRose

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Joined2krist

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Sketcher

Born Imperishable

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Reborn1977

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