- Feb 19, 2017
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[Mods: If this is in the wrong place, feel free to move it]
I apologize if harping on this is getting old, but I have something that I need to say about something I've brought up before.
That abortion nightmare that I had when I was 14 or 15 is still haunting me to this day, but I've decided to take the steps necessary to try and heal from the strong reactions I've had to it in real life. I ordered a book and accompanying workbook online by the name of "Her Choice to Heal" and I hope to use it to at least try to get this healing process off the ground (although I'd argue that I already did that when I made the decision to try and heal). I'm also going on a Rachel's Vineyard retreat later on this summer, and after that, I'll be seeing about possibly seeing a therapist again about what I've been going through. Maybe that would help if I could get the therapist to help me work through my grief.
...This almost feels surreal; acknowledging that my pain is real and having it validated by others, I mean. In the past few weeks, I've started telling my story to others and in return I got support and validation that it was okay for me to acknowledge and work through this pain I've been feeling for about 8 or 9 years now. The relief is real now that I can let this pain out, but at the same time, it feels so strange. I've already had so much unbelievable stuff happen to me and my family throughout my lifetime (and I'm only 23), and to add this to the pile kind of makes my head spin if I focus on all of it for too long. I think I should just try to breathe and take things one issue and one day at a time.
But yeah... I just wanted to share that I'm starting another healing journey (even though the circumstances warranting it are completely unorthodox) and that right now, I'm feeling God's presence in my life. It feels like He has been the one who sent all of these beautiful people in my support system into my life and He is the one who has motivated me to pursue healing in any ways that I can. Also, right now, it almost feels as though God has his arms wrapped around me and is also hugging my heart while saying, "Everything is going to be okay, my child." And for the first time ever (at least in this case), I can say that I actually believe him. Thank you, God, for giving me this strength and these support systems that I can utilize. Amen.
I apologize if harping on this is getting old, but I have something that I need to say about something I've brought up before.
That abortion nightmare that I had when I was 14 or 15 is still haunting me to this day, but I've decided to take the steps necessary to try and heal from the strong reactions I've had to it in real life. I ordered a book and accompanying workbook online by the name of "Her Choice to Heal" and I hope to use it to at least try to get this healing process off the ground (although I'd argue that I already did that when I made the decision to try and heal). I'm also going on a Rachel's Vineyard retreat later on this summer, and after that, I'll be seeing about possibly seeing a therapist again about what I've been going through. Maybe that would help if I could get the therapist to help me work through my grief.
...This almost feels surreal; acknowledging that my pain is real and having it validated by others, I mean. In the past few weeks, I've started telling my story to others and in return I got support and validation that it was okay for me to acknowledge and work through this pain I've been feeling for about 8 or 9 years now. The relief is real now that I can let this pain out, but at the same time, it feels so strange. I've already had so much unbelievable stuff happen to me and my family throughout my lifetime (and I'm only 23), and to add this to the pile kind of makes my head spin if I focus on all of it for too long. I think I should just try to breathe and take things one issue and one day at a time.
But yeah... I just wanted to share that I'm starting another healing journey (even though the circumstances warranting it are completely unorthodox) and that right now, I'm feeling God's presence in my life. It feels like He has been the one who sent all of these beautiful people in my support system into my life and He is the one who has motivated me to pursue healing in any ways that I can. Also, right now, it almost feels as though God has his arms wrapped around me and is also hugging my heart while saying, "Everything is going to be okay, my child." And for the first time ever (at least in this case), I can say that I actually believe him. Thank you, God, for giving me this strength and these support systems that I can utilize. Amen.