Still Struggling

RyanB92 said:

Hi guys

A short while ago, very much out of the blue I began feeling an urge to explore Christianity and try to connect with Jesus. I made an account here, and explored some other Christian websites trying to learn as much as I could. I also began to read the bible. I am someone who has never had faith in God, but I felt a strong desire to find the faith that brings so many other people such comfort and strength. I prayed to God that if he is real, please help me to find the faith to believe in him. This gave me a sense of hope that He might make himself known to me.

People told me that faith would come from reading the bible, and from prayer. But I could not stop the logical part of my brain from arguing with everything I read. There was such a firm part of me that refused to believe, no matter how hard I tried. After a short time the sense of hope and beginnings of faith began to fade. And I felt myself slide back into my old habits and lifestyles and away from this new interest in Jesus.

Now I am feeling the need to turn back and try again. But I am hesitant because praying for faith was something that was very difficult for me the last time. And I felt foolish for believing when nothing came from it. Now I am feeling what's the point to try again, what could possible be different this time?

I do not have any friends who are followers of Christ, and it was recommended that I find a church or bible study to go to, but my severe social anxiety makes that extremely difficult so I dont really have anywhere to turn for this other than here. When I first found this site, people were so warm and welcoming so I hope that I can get some support and advice here now

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If you own an English Bible, start reading it daily. Start with the Gospel of John, then read all four Gospels. Write down your general thoughts on the passage. This is a start, ask Jesus to give you enough confidence in him and what he has done to not be afraid of people. Pray it every day, and wait on God to move you. Don't try to move yourself, instead, walk by the Spirit.

RyanB92 said:

Hi guys

A short while ago, very much out of the blue I began feeling an urge to explore Christianity and try to connect with Jesus. I made an account here, and explored some other Christian websites trying to learn as much as I could. I also began to read the bible. I am someone who has never had faith in God, but I felt a strong desire to find the faith that brings so many other people such comfort and strength. I prayed to God that if he is real, please help me to find the faith to believe in him. This gave me a sense of hope that He might make himself known to me.

People told me that faith would come from reading the bible, and from prayer. But I could not stop the logical part of my brain from arguing with everything I read. There was such a firm part of me that refused to believe, no matter how hard I tried. After a short time the sense of hope and beginnings of faith began to fade. And I felt myself slide back into my old habits and lifestyles and away from this new interest in Jesus.

Now I am feeling the need to turn back and try again. But I am hesitant because praying for faith was something that was very difficult for me the last time. And I felt foolish for believing when nothing came from it. Now I am feeling what's the point to try again, what could possible be different this time?

I do not have any friends who are followers of Christ, and it was recommended that I find a church or bible study to go to, but my severe social anxiety makes that extremely difficult so I dont really have anywhere to turn for this other than here. When I first found this site, people were so warm and welcoming so I hope that I can get some support and advice here now

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Hi and why not start with Hebrews 11; 1-40 and see what faith means and used and then check where FAITH is used through out the bible !!

dan p

Read Matthew 5-7 and see if you can live up to the righteousness demanded there.
If you can't, then confess your sinfulness to Jesus and He will forgive and grant you Life eternal.
If you think you can, then just keep going, you are not ready to be saved.

RyanB92 said:

Hi guys

A short while ago, very much out of the blue I began feeling an urge to explore Christianity and try to connect with Jesus. I made an account here, and explored some other Christian websites trying to learn as much as I could. I also began to read the bible. I am someone who has never had faith in God, but I felt a strong desire to find the faith that brings so many other people such comfort and strength. I prayed to God that if he is real, please help me to find the faith to believe in him. This gave me a sense of hope that He might make himself known to me.

People told me that faith would come from reading the bible, and from prayer. But I could not stop the logical part of my brain from arguing with everything I read. There was such a firm part of me that refused to believe, no matter how hard I tried. After a short time the sense of hope and beginnings of faith began to fade. And I felt myself slide back into my old habits and lifestyles and away from this new interest in Jesus.

Now I am feeling the need to turn back and try again. But I am hesitant because praying for faith was something that was very difficult for me the last time. And I felt foolish for believing when nothing came from it. Now I am feeling what's the point to try again, what could possible be different this time?

I do not have any friends who are followers of Christ, and it was recommended that I find a church or bible study to go to, but my severe social anxiety makes that extremely difficult so I dont really have anywhere to turn for this other than here. When I first found this site, people were so warm and welcoming so I hope that I can get some support and advice here now

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I have the same sort of curious and analytical mind. I had been a fundamentalist Catholic and had even received an award for apologetics but I had always had nagging doubts. Well, the quest has taken up a good part of the last several decades. It has challenged my Christianity and it has drastically changed my beliefs. I am now what is termed a liberal or progressive but I am still a Christian. It has been an interesting journey.

Since you have social anxiety I suggest that you supplement your Bible reading with the works of some modern Bible scholars. I will suggest a few --- John Spong, Marcus Borg, John Dominic Crossan, Walter Wink, etc. Do not be in the least bit surprised if other more traditional Christians condemn them out of hand.

@RyanB92

That was the way l found God, praying that He would show me whether He existed or not, and whether Christianity was the truth as opposed to other religions l had been reading about.

He did just that by His sudden presence in my room with the strong knowledge that Jesus died for my sins for which l repented. This was 46 years ago and the time and experience are stamped in my brain, with the glorious months which followed when l was walking in heaven on earth.

This is all you need, not rationalising. A living encounter with the Almighty and if your desires for Him are for godly reasons, you can trust Him to come to you. Just believe His promise that whosoever shall call on His name, shall be saved and knock and the door shall be opened to you.

Read your Bible to find other promises.

When I was 21, I felt a strong urge to seek God. I was raised as a Catholic, but that was just a farce for me because I wasn’t born-again and hadn’t really come to faith. I bought a Bible, and read it for about 2 months. I read through the entire book of Psalms. Anyway, after that God brought a born-again believer along as a new roommate who shared scripture with me and prayed for me (unknown to me at the time), and I was born again about two weeks later.
God makes this promise in the Bible, and He never breaks His Word.
“Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7
Don’t give up, my friend; you can find God.

Hi Ryan.

When we speak of faith we don't mean blind belief but trust in God. So when we say faith comes by hearing the word of God, we mean that ones trust in God grows through hearing Him just as it would with anyone. You are at the point where you want to know if God is there, if He is real. So don't try to force yourself to believe in God. You are doing the right thing by praying to God, and seeking Him in scripture. Paul says in Romans 1 that God's nature is known to all. It might surprise you, but you have been near Him your whole life and you have known a part of him since you were born. Goodness refers to God's nature Ryan, and you have known goodness since you were born. Whenever you draw near to what is virtuous, you are in your heart drawing near to God. Apart from God there are no objective moral values or duties. So if you believe that some things are really right, and some things are really wrong, then there must be a God that these things reference. I urge you to draw near to His presence by thinking upon these things and call upon Him in prayer. I have sinned, and you have sinned, we have all fallen short of His nature. He sent His Son, who willingly bore our sins, and took our place in the grave. When you are ready, confess your sinful nature to Him, ask Jesus to forgive your sins, and come into your life.

Regarding logic. There are 3 things that naturalism has failed to explain. I have included 3 very short, 5m videos on these subjects but we can talk further about them if you want.
The origin of the universe.

The origin of life and consciousness.
We simply don't have a naturalistic account of how life came about, even less how deterministic matter could give rise to free willed consciousness. This field is light years from it's promised naturalistic destination.

The origin of reliable faculties of consciousness. This one can be a bit tough but basically if all we are is our material, our beliefs don't drive our behavior, our matter does so why should our matter drive us toward the truth? Even if our beliefs do drive our behavior, Natural selection is only concerned with survival and procreation, not true beliefs. If even false beliefs can lead to survival, then why think we have acquired faculties capable of much true belief?

And Finally, why should we believe Jesus did rise from the dead? - 4, non controversial facts believed by a majority of scholars which are best explained by Jesus rising from the dead.

On these nice days, it's a perfect time to go outside to a park or the beach or wherever is the loveliest to you. Look at everything and pretend to believe that you know Who made all of it. Then pray just saying that you'll listen for Him. See and hear everything and listen to the small, small voice that will be calling you. Then read John or Luke. Then listen again for the small, small voice. His Voice is not the easiest for us to hear, we're so caught up in the busy world of humans. Keep on doing all this. Knowing Him may come right away or it might take longer (we don't know His Timing). No matter what, know that you are Loved just the way you are.

Blessings

I'm so glad that He showed His love and Peace, since you were able to listen! Now don't forget to also read John slowly (or Luke, but I think John would be a good first Gospel). Don't expect too much at first or push yourself, He's got his own perfect timing and pushing yourself to hear Him will just make it harder to listen. Know that He wants you!

My prayers (I know they'll be answered)

RyanB92 said:

Hi guys

A short while ago, very much out of the blue I began feeling an urge to explore Christianity and try to connect with Jesus. I made an account here, and explored some other Christian websites trying to learn as much as I could. I also began to read the bible. I am someone who has never had faith in God, but I felt a strong desire to find the faith that brings so many other people such comfort and strength. I prayed to God that if he is real, please help me to find the faith to believe in him. This gave me a sense of hope that He might make himself known to me.

People told me that faith would come from reading the bible, and from prayer. But I could not stop the logical part of my brain from arguing with everything I read. There was such a firm part of me that refused to believe, no matter how hard I tried. After a short time the sense of hope and beginnings of faith began to fade. And I felt myself slide back into my old habits and lifestyles and away from this new interest in Jesus.

Now I am feeling the need to turn back and try again. But I am hesitant because praying for faith was something that was very difficult for me the last time. And I felt foolish for believing when nothing came from it. Now I am feeling what's the point to try again, what could possible be different this time?

I do not have any friends who are followers of Christ, and it was recommended that I find a church or bible study to go to, but my severe social anxiety makes that extremely difficult so I dont really have anywhere to turn for this other than here. When I first found this site, people were so warm and welcoming so I hope that I can get some support and advice here now

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Coming from a Lutheran perspective, faith is a gift and so it can't be reasoned or gained by effort. Of course, also from a Lutheran perspective I'd say that you probably have more faith than you think you do. Without faith you wouldn't even be interested or curious about Christianity in the first place; and so we would understand this to be the supernatural working of God upon you.

Lutheran evangelism is, by and large, not going to consist in apologetics or trying to argue a person into belief--since we don't think that's possible. Instead we would go back to what Jesus said to some of John the Baptists disciples, when they came to Jesus and asked, "Are you the One, or should we look for another?" Jesus answers their question by saying, "Come and see." Jesus doesn't make an argument, but instead offers an invitation. This is also how the Church continues I believe, we preach the good news of Jesus, and when people ask, "Is this true?" or similar we make the invitation, "Come and see".

Most mainstream churches usually provide catechesis, basically classes which are "What we believe" and they are non-committal. Meaning by attending them you aren't making any commitment to join, you are just there to learn. Roman Catholicism, for example, has RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults), which are catechetical courses, again no committment is expected, but it is also (usually) required when becoming Catholic as an adult, if one does decide to convert then the conclusion of RCIA is Baptism and Confirmation (or, if one is coming from a different Christian background, just Confirmation). Similar sorts of programs and catechetical courses exist in other mainstream churches.

Social anxiety can certainly be a crippling issue. I also suffer from an anxiety disorder. I don't think there is any substitute for real, in-person contact--visiting a church, participating in what you are comfortable with. When it comes to catechesis there may be opportunities for that online (I'm not really sure), as long as there is some sort of contact with the catechist/teacher so you can ask and receive answers (and a good catechesis means inviting questions, including hard questions and being allowed to be skeptical) that might work.

If you are able, I would highly recommend the above. But don't feel guilty if your anxiety is getting to you, take your own pace if necessary. Don't let anyone try and manipulate you, just take things as you can. And prayerfully God's strength, peace, and love be with you as you make these initial steps in your journey.

-CryptoLutheran

There's nothing wrong with praying for faith, but I don't think faith typically comes on people like lightning. I think the thing to do is to practice Jesus' teachings, be part of a Christian fellowship of some kind, and pray for others. As well as reading the Bible prayefully, of course. I think faith will come as you start following Jesus.

I think that he seems to be saying that he was Given faith already, but just needs to learn about it (esp. reading Scripture with prayer and meditation) and practicing it thru worship of Our Lord with His people in a community of other Christians where he can listen to Our Lord's Word and receive His Sacraments.

RyanB92 said:

Again, I am so grateful for all the support and kind words on this forum. I just wanted to update you guys and let you know that after some prayer and meditation, I prayed and accepted Jesus into my heart.

I am still struggling with feeling secure in my faith, and still have doubts about whether I have really been saved and forgiven, but I am determined to develop my relationship with God, and I trust that he will continue to help my small bit of faith grow until I can fully trust in Him

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Hello again Ryan,
That’s great news! That means you’ve been added to the family of God! Very exciting!
I would strongly encourage you to tell other people in the UK whom you know that you’ve decided to follow Jesus. Don’t be ashamed of His name. If they ask you what that means, you don’t have to have an answer. Just tell them that you’ve started the adventure and trust that God will show you.
I think this is very important. If you’re hesitant or afraid, determine to tell just one person sometime in the next week.
God bless you brother!

RyanB92 said:

Hi guys

A short while ago, very much out of the blue I began feeling an urge to explore Christianity and try to connect with Jesus. I made an account here, and explored some other Christian websites trying to learn as much as I could. I also began to read the bible. I am someone who has never had faith in God, but I felt a strong desire to find the faith that brings so many other people such comfort and strength. I prayed to God that if he is real, please help me to find the faith to believe in him. This gave me a sense of hope that He might make himself known to me.

People told me that faith would come from reading the bible, and from prayer. But I could not stop the logical part of my brain from arguing with everything I read. There was such a firm part of me that refused to believe, no matter how hard I tried. After a short time the sense of hope and beginnings of faith began to fade. And I felt myself slide back into my old habits and lifestyles and away from this new interest in Jesus.

Now I am feeling the need to turn back and try again. But I am hesitant because praying for faith was something that was very difficult for me the last time. And I felt foolish for believing when nothing came from it. Now I am feeling what's the point to try again, what could possible be different this time?

I do not have any friends who are followers of Christ, and it was recommended that I find a church or bible study to go to, but my severe social anxiety makes that extremely difficult so I dont really have anywhere to turn for this other than here. When I first found this site, people were so warm and welcoming so I hope that I can get some support and advice here now

Click to expand...

Ask Jesus to manifest Himself to you. If you are asking in sincerity, then He will answer. We are held accountable for what truth that has been revealed to us.

Matthew 11:28-30

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

John 12:32-33 And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. This he said, signifying what death he should die.

John 1:9 That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.

1 Peter 4:5 Who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead.

Rom 1:20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
Rom 1:21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
Rom 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

RyanB92 said:

Such good advice! Today on my walk home I crossed into the park and went and sat in a wooded part. I thought about how amazing it was that someone could create all this and I prayed to tell God I was listening. I meditated for a bit and was completely overwhelmed by a feeling of love and peace. A large part of me is saying that this is wishful thinking, a placebo effect or something. But I can feel the seed of faith in me growing stronger. I will continue to listen for God everyday and hopefully come to believe.

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Observing creation has been a blessing in my life, assuring me God is real.