Divorce (Is adultery the only justifiable reason for it?)

Pavel Mosko said:

This includes an actual confession on his wife's part of "making out with another guy" during the marriage.

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This seems almost like adultery. If she wants out of the marriage I would think he is free to divorce with a clear conscience. . If she wants to work it out it's maybe not so cut and dry.

Marriage is a covenant that can be broken by either party.

Can I suggest that in fact if what you say is correct, this partner has already broken the covenant and rendered the marriage void. I would never suggest a partner remain in a circumstance of sustained abuse.

I never wanted a divorce, but still, here I am waiting it out, will not betray Gods commandments.

Not If I could help it.

At this point I fell if I do remarry or even date I am committing adultery, I am being forced into it.

So, I'm just as confused as the next guy but will say this.

I would rather please God and follow his commandments then go out and break my promises to God that I did make. And that was till death.

If God wants to let it go and send me a wife then he will, but I'm not looking, I'm waiting it out.
Mabey he should wait it out till things get better?

I'm alone every day with no life , work all day every day, some times 16 hours a day, and I wish to God I could still be worth her to work it out, good or bad.

“Patrick Doyle” on YouTube. He is a Christian counselor and a good one at that! The Lord has blessed him with wisdom and guidance when it pertains to this touchy subject. His videos are GREAT and never before has someone put so much Biblical perspective in the terms pertaining to marital issues like he has! His video on boundaries will answer everything-straight from the Word of God-and the Holy Spirit will lead you to other questions you may have with his other videos he has on there! You won’t regret!

Pavel Mosko said:

The divorce thing is one sided. She wants him back, but she has been unrepentant of her deeds for years, even decades...

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Make getting him back conditional upon real repentance, not the fake repentance that abusers do to hook people back in.

Pavel Mosko said:

I have a friend who is in the process of getting a divorce from his wife who he has been married for 30 years or so. The marriage has been bad for at least the last 20 years. His wife I'm sure is at least seriously mentally ill and maybe even demonized (Kevin my friend does not believe this). He is getting push back from his congregation about the divorce.
He actually has serious reasons which I and many congregations would consider valid which include such things as 1) being on the receiving end of physical abuse, e.g. his wife actually ambushed him one time and gave him a concussion, 2)His wife has gossiped about him trying to imply that he is a child molester etc. even though there is not anything to substantiate that, (basically it's a divide and conquer strategy to alienate him from other people so she can continue to manipulate and be a vampire). His Messianic congregation however cites the verse by Jesus that mentions only adultery as a valid reason, so I thought I would do a thread on it. Besides that, he is also writing a book of Divorce from the stand point of Messianic Judaism. I will try to cover some of that, even though I can only grasp some of his basic message, arguments etc.


PS- While Kevin does not have any "caught red handed" proof of adultery he does have some good circumstantial evidence where if I was a betting man, I would definitely place a bet in favor of it. This includes an actual confession on his wife's part of "making out with another guy" during the marriage.

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Most Christians seem to miss what the attitude is to be about it. "But I call you to peace" is contextual.

MANY Christians are quick to use infidelity as a legitimate reason for divorce. Too often we want an excuse to do what we want, when that is not at all how God sees it. God hates divorce.

Often, simple physical separation suffices.

The police might also be helpful.

Pavel Mosko said:

I have a friend who is in the process of getting a divorce from his wife who he has been married for 30 years or so. The marriage has been bad for at least the last 20 years. His wife I'm sure is at least seriously mentally ill and maybe even demonized (Kevin my friend does not believe this). He is getting push back from his congregation about the divorce.
He actually has serious reasons which I and many congregations would consider valid which include such things as 1) being on the receiving end of physical abuse, e.g. his wife actually ambushed him one time and gave him a concussion, 2)His wife has gossiped about him trying to imply that he is a child molester etc. even though there is not anything to substantiate that, (basically it's a divide and conquer strategy to alienate him from other people so she can continue to manipulate and be a vampire). His Messianic congregation however cites the verse by Jesus that mentions only adultery as a valid reason, so I thought I would do a thread on it. Besides that, he is also writing a book of Divorce from the stand point of Messianic Judaism. I will try to cover some of that, even though I can only grasp some of his basic message, arguments etc.


PS- While Kevin does not have any "caught red handed" proof of adultery he does have some good circumstantial evidence where if I was a betting man, I would definitely place a bet in favor of it. This includes an actual confession on his wife's part of "making out with another guy" during the marriage.

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The devil loves to drop condemnation bombs on divorced believers and he uses other Christians to do it!

I will give my personal experience which is somewhat different but perhaps there is something in this story. I confessed my sins and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was 18. Met the woman that is my wife when I was 26 and married when I was 28. My wife was married and divorced before I met her and had since accepted Jesus as her savior. So while I had personally not divorced my wife had and I knew at the time it was an issue Biblically but did it anyway.

Without going into a lot of detail I have read numerous books studied the Scriptures over many years and asked a lot of opinions but given that I married a divorced woman that would in my mind and study disqualify me from being a pastor or deacon in a local church. While it is true that both of our sins are forgiven and we have both been faithful to each other I still would not qualify to be a pastor or deacon.

I know that there are some that would disagree and I wish it were not the case but my conscience is clear on this one. It is ironic that if a man that cohabitated with a woman, married her, even had kids and then accepted Jesus as savior would not have that same disqualification but there it is. The key here is divorce.

Here I am now married almost 40 years and with 2 grown kids. If I were asked to be a deacon in a church I would tell my story in minute detail and then leave it up to the church. If they decide it was a youthful mistake then ok. But still I think the divorce is a disqualifier, there is really no time limit that I can see in the Scriptures. There is in my opinion a difference Biblically between getting a woman pregnant and then marrying compared to getting married if one of the partners was previously divorced.

So I would advise Kevin to search the Scriptures carefully and consider that any kind of pulpit or local church ministry is out if he divorces. Another poster made the comment about separating but staying married, without getting involved with other women. That would be in my judgement the way to go without knowing more of the situation. One more thing, there is zero chance that the Holy Spirit is telling Kevin to divorce.

Pavel Mosko said:

Divorce (Is adultery the only justifiable reason for it?)

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There are several acceptable reasons mentioned in the New Testament. Certainly abuse (physical, emotional, psychological) qualifies.

jesus316 said:

There are several acceptable reasons mentioned in the New Testament. Certainly abuse (physical, emotional, psychological) qualifies.

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It is true that there are some acceptable reasons. However first I would caution the "injured" party in the Jehovah knows all things and will not bless and individual that is "looking" for a Biblical excuse to divorce. Second, as I mentioned above, the exceptions being referred to do not in my opinion have an effect on the divorce exclusion for deacons and pastors. The only reason I mention this is because apparently Kevin is in a ministry.

Not to sound like a broken record or to be unkind or even legalistic but if Kevin proceeds with a divorce then and enters into a union with another woman, he will from a Biblical perspective be disqualified from holding the office of pastor or deacon.

He could be involved in a para-church ministry as those are not addressed in Scripture. The God of the Bible is a loving God, this is true but his laws and precepts are not broken without penalty.

jesus316 said:

There are several acceptable reasons mentioned in the New Testament. Certainly abuse (physical, emotional, psychological) qualifies.

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Where would these be? I've been baffled for a long time.

LovesOurLord said:

Where would these be? I've been baffled for a long time.

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Matthew 19:7-9
1 Corinthians 7:15-17

^^Go back and study this carefully. Also, consider that the individual here is in the ministry. There is a lot more to consider not just a few verses.