Women Working Outside the Home

posted below

tuliplane said:

I have come from a background that shames women for wanting to do anything extra besides marriage and babies -

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tuliplane said:

in my upbringing there was really no middle ground, it was either only stay home or else you're just a feminist who is breaking the family apart.

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Cultures like this don't dare to read Proverbs 31 very carefully, and would hold Lydia, a seller of purple and one of the several founders of the church at Phillipi (all were female) as a contemptible example.

Another area of cognitive dissonance in cultures like that is Paul chose a company of women praying by the river to start the first New Testament church, the church in Phillipi. Cultures such as you described would be opposed to women starting up churches, also.

Finally, cultures like you described do not involve women, and therefore any perspectives of women, when they train men for the ministry. However, in Acts Priscilla and Aquila together taught Apollos (a preacher who was not getting his doctrines quite right) the more correct doctrines. In eliminating the female perspective from ministerial training, the wisdom and experiences available from half of the human race is discarded, resulting in much abuse being propagated on females So that's another area cultures such as the one you described are blind to the pure words that are clearly in the Bible.

I was raised in a culture like that also. However, my life's journey proved it to be completely wrong as the Lord has greatly blessed and provided for me when I followed the actual Proverbs 31/Lydia example. Additionally, I was able to provide good paying jobs for two other sisters in Christ who fell on hard times through no doing of their own.

In retrospect, I can see how providential each step in my career path was, how it provided for the next step and finally how it all came together to provide for three different families (theirs and mine) either while in difficult times or in preparation for difficult times.

Never fear to trust the Bible, and what the words in it actually say. God's ways are higher than our ways, and his counsel is wonderful and excellent in working. Always fear (and believe) God more than man.

tuliplane said:

I know this topic has been discussed at length multiple times over many years, however, it is one that doesn't seem to get old. There are two sides of the coin strongly voicing their opinion on the matter, and I rarely see the issue lie in the middle. I would like to hear from other Christians what their thoughts are on this!

I have read things from progressive Christians, saying things like there are no such thing as gender roles anymore and no man should tell them what to do. On the opposite side, I have read things like women shouldn't venture out to go to college, get jobs or be in the world outside the home, lest she compete with men and be influenced by the evils of the world. I have read that it goes against God's design for women to have a career, quoting verses such as Titus 2:5 and 1 Timothy 5:14...with some such as "The Transformed Wife" even going so far as to say that it is a sin for a woman to work outside the home.

Let me know your thoughts on this!

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That's because hard lines are easier to understand than "figure it out yourself". Right? it's easier to say "Don't do X" or "You can do X", than to say "You need to think carefully what is reasonable and right for you to do in your specific context".

So, I have two conflicting answers for you, and you'll have to figure out what works best for you.

1. Acts 16:40 talks about Lydia of Thyatira. This was a woman who ran a business as a seller of purple. Purple was the absolute most difficult color to make in their age, and thus the most expensive. That's why king routinely wore clothes of purple, because it was a sigh of wealth.

There is no evidence that Lydia was told to not work outside the home. No evidence of her being rebuked or scolded for being a women who worked a career.

This matches closely with Proverbs 31:16, which says a wife carefully appraises a field, and buys it, and then plants a vineyard.

Therefore, I believe that it is safe to conclude that there is nothing in the Bible, anywhere, that says a woman should not work outside the home, or have a career.
I am confident when I say it is not a sin at all, for a woman to work.

2. The other side is this. I think it is very bad for a woman to put her career ahead of her family. That may seem self evident, but it isn't. High paying careers, expect high levels of loyalty and time. Working the big jobs, means you can't be with your family much.

A lot of women end up getting the big job, the big money, and the big titles, and then lose their family.

My mother was a career school teacher, and she loved what she did. But as a result, I rarely saw my mother. I came home to an empty house. I watched TV until diner. By the time she got home, it was time to make something to eat. So I never saw her until dinner. We ate together for 30 minutes, and then I did my homework, and went to bed.

That was home life. I never saw my mother much.

Equally my grandmother got to the point she needed care. She wanted to live with my parents for her remaining life. My mother decided at that time, that she couldn't take care of her and work her full time job as a teacher. So we put grand mother in a nursing home. She died a few years later, and my mother regretted her choice.

Lastly, after I was through college, and had a full time job, suddenly my mother wanted to do all these things with me. She wanted to go see this play, and go to this state, and go to the beach, and go on a cruise and such.

I was living in her house for 20 years, and we rarely did anything. Now I have a job of my own, and bills to pay, and now she wants to go make up for lost time?

Can't do it.

Decades ago now, I watched a video about a woman abandoned by her husband, and was left with her three girls. She had no choice but to work, however she sat down with her girls and said openly "I can get a corporate job, and we can live in a nice place, but I won't be home much. Or I can get a low paying job, but I'll be home more. Which do you want?" Praise G-d the woman had the bravery to ask these questions of her young daughters. All 3 of her girls said, low pay, and be with us more.

Women today need to grasp this. You can't spend equal time at the corporate office and at home. You have to pick one or the other. You can't make millions, and be with your family. You get your kids for a very short time, and then the leave. Once they are gone, they are gone. If you spend that time at the corporate office, getting that high level title... than don't be surprised when if you find yourself all alone with your corporate title.

IF possible, take time off work to be with children while they're young
those first years are so important developmentally

Of course women can work outside the home! In fact, the New Testament generally prefers Christians to stay celibate if they possibly can.

The "family values" dogwhistle is wholly unbiblical.

Deborah D said:

I know this can be difficult, but God always makes a way to do His will, and I knew that it was His will for me to stay home with my children.

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God's Will for others can be for them to work outside the home....In either case, God's will is still Good. One is not better than the other....

If a woMAN does not work........She should not eat.....

a sahm's salary if paid would be pretty high considering they're educator, nurse, social administrator, über driver, cook, and often financial planner

It depends on your personality as well as your financial need. Personally, I don't have a man to feed and cloth me and so i must work to take care of my financial needs. There are women who have the luxury of having someone cater for their needs, also there are some women who will get depressed or feel unfulfilled staying at home all day, taking care of kids, whatever makes you feel happy and works for you is fine but there's no law in the bible stating that women shouldn't work.

Deborah D said:

There are so many opportunities to work from home these days.

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One comment to this: if you have three or more children, an at home nanny is more cost effective than day care. Also, Deborah's comment is correct, and that was the path I chose.

I was uncomfortable with the experience of my oldest two when they were going to day care every day. They cried about their day being so long, which I could appreciate. They were getting a "school day" experience at a Kindercare from 7:30 am until 6 pm. The care providers were beloved but I could remember my elementary school days and I was MORE than ready to be done by 2:30 when school got out.

So back in that day it was harder to find work at home jobs, so I ended up getting into sales which was most likely to allow work from home. My particular niche required overnight travel for one to two nights approximately 2 to 3 times per month. However the commotion that caused in the household was far less of an impact on the kids than pulling them out of bed in the cold dark winter mornings or having them in a classroom for 11 hours, year round, so that was the route we chose as best for the family.

I was home all day every day for approx 25 days out of the month. However, I needed a nanny so the kids were not neglected while I was trying to fit my work in, and so I could actually get my work done and keep my job. Being at home allowed me to be there for their boo-boos, eat lunch with them, interact for a few moments when I filled my coffee cup up and monitor how proactive the nanny was being with them. Since I had many children, I also could ensure sure the nanny was competent to handle the demands of the job without getting frustrated and mistreating the children.

I required the kids to have preschool activities in the morning. There was NO WAY I was paying someone $12/hour to watch TV all day with my kids..lol. I hired nannies who were more talented in preschool stuff and teaching than I was. My kids had the best of all worlds, in my opinion, and were well prepared to excel in school.

My job allowed me to be able to afford to put them through a small Christian school, where their day was immersed in the Word of God in all disciplines. The teachers had beautifully tender hearts towards the Lord, so the kids were soaking up wonderful examples all day.

So that's the path that worked best for me and served my kids the best. Today it's easier to find well paying work from home, and it's worth considering what types of jobs can work from home when you are considering your career path.

My kids are all adults now and they have all turned out far better than I deserved. Praise the Lord!!!

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It seems like many people draw a distinction between a woman working outside the house vs. a mother working outside the house. The former being generally acceptable, the latter not so much.

Endeavourer said:

One comment to this: if you have three or more children, an at home nanny is more cost effective than day care. Also, Deborah's comment is correct, and that was the path I chose.

I was uncomfortable with the experience of my oldest two when they were going to day care every day. They cried about their day being so long, which I could appreciate. They were getting a "school day" experience at a Kindercare from 7:30 am until 6 pm. The care providers were beloved but I could remember my elementary school days and I was MORE than ready to be done by 2:30 when school got out.

So back in that day it was harder to find work at home jobs, so I ended up getting into sales which was most likely to allow work from home. My particular niche required overnight travel for one to two nights approximately 2 to 3 times per month. However the commotion that caused in the household was far less of an impact on the kids than pulling them out of bed in the cold dark winter mornings or having them in a classroom for 11 hours, year round, so that was the route we chose as best for the family.

I was home all day every day for approx 25 days out of the month. However, I needed a nanny so the kids were not neglected while I was trying to fit my work in, and so I could actually get my work done and keep my job. Being at home allowed me to be there for their boo-boos, eat lunch with them, interact for a few moments when I filled my coffee cup up and monitor how proactive the nanny was being with them. Since I had many children, I also could ensure sure the nanny was competent to handle the demands of the job without getting frustrated and mistreating the children.

I required the kids to have preschool activities in the morning. There was NO WAY I was paying someone $12/hour to watch TV all day with my kids..lol. I hired nannies who were more talented in preschool stuff and teaching than I was. My kids had the best of all worlds, in my opinion, and were well prepared to excel in school.

My job allowed me to be able to afford to put them through a small Christian school, where their day was immersed in the Word of God in all disciplines. The teachers had beautifully tender hearts towards the Lord, so the kids were soaking up wonderful examples all day.

So that's the path that worked best for me and served my kids the best. Today it's easier to find well paying work from home, and it's worth considering what types of jobs can work from home when you are considering your career path.

My kids are all adults now and they have all turned out far better than I deserved. Praise the Lord!!!

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It's great that you were able to be there for your kids!

One thing I saw is that if I had worked outside the home all day, I would have missed out on a lot of teachable moments with my kids. I wanted my kids to grow up living God's Word, so I was able to teach them what the Bible says about life situations that we encountered during their growing up years.

RaymondG said:

If a woMAN does not work........She should not eat.....

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Most of the real work moms do is not for monetary gain. There isn't enough money in the world to compensate for the love that we provide our families.

Deborah D said:

One thing I saw is that if I had worked outside the home all day, I would have missed out on a lot of teachable moments with my kids. I wanted my kids to grow up living God's Word, so I was able to teach them what the Bible says about life situations that we encountered during their growing up years.

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I was still able to provide a multitude of teaching moments to my children and raise them living in God's Word. They all turned out all right.

a woman can go out and do whatever she wants, but opportunity costs are a real thing.

Deborah D said:

Most of the real work moms do is not for monetary gain. There isn't enough money in the world to compensate for the love that we provide our families.

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I did not say "If a woMAN doesnt work....for monetary gain"

Is it not true that if she doesnt cook.....she doesnt eat? And cooking is hard work....I burnt some noodles just the other day.

Deborah D said:

It's great that you were able to be there for your kids!

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This can be disheartening for single mothers and those who are otherwise forced to work and have children... This can also be tough for men to hear, who are bless with strong woman who are willing and able to work to help take care of the family.....because their income is not high enough yet.

Neither, praises from a heart of love nor praises to God for blessing bestowed, should sound like insults to those who arent in the position of the one praised or blessed....

tuliplane said:

I'm curious as to what others think! I have come from a background that shames women for wanting to do anything extra besides marriage and babies -

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Living in a metropolis, I see the shaming happening on the other end-- women who stay at home are judged as "not contributing to the family" or "not doing anything with her life." It's puzzling because teachers, nannies, and professional housekeepers are deemed as "working" for the same job duties that a homeschooling mom perform. The only difference is whether there is an official paycheck.

As far as my opinion, I think it's okay for women to work outside of home, as long as that doesn't get in the way of taking care of her family...but that can be said on just about anything. For example, it's okay for a mom to engage in a hobby as long as she does not abandon her family obligation for it, etc.