Giving up. Last posts.

Tony Ramirez · May 8, 2019

I prayed last night before going to bed. I told him that it is very hard to keep the faith and I hate being around non-believers which is the reason why I can't normally go out, work or live a normal life. I told him I am afraid that I might backslide even harder than before. After the long prayer I fell asleep right away.

Tony Ramirez · May 8, 2019

Thing is I attended this stupid event because the true believers at the Church suggested it when I was a backslider the first time. It suppose to strengthen my faith but instead it is pointing me to backsliding again.

As I knew they would be some not sure believers but never expected them to swear using that horrible word. It did not happen most of the time when I attended the first group meetings back in 2000-2006 it was outside the Church I heard that word. Now it is worse I guess all that explicit, R and MA rated garbage rots the new generation brains.

What a joke my life feels like I am at square one not trusting people again.

worshipjunkie · May 8, 2019

I think it's wonderful that your conscience is so tender, so willing to not do the things that offend Jesus.
But not everyone is in that place with language. When we convert, we're all convicted on different things at different times. And many people who use that word don't do so out of maliciousness, but out of habit. It's in the workplace, it's in two peoples' coversation in the checkout line at the store. It's online, in music, etc.

I agree with those who said it sounds like you're depressed. You're expressing a lot of "all or nothing" thinking which is very common in depression. As I'm sure you know, depression is more common for those on the spectrum and I would encourage you to talk to a doctor.

Heavenhome · May 8, 2019

Please don't give up Tony.

You may not be able to trust others but you can ALWAYS trust God.
He will never let you down.

Do you need to attend all those groups?
If you don't feel safe then don't go and for the time being spend your time with God in Bible reading and prayer.
I pray that He will give you the peace that passes all understanding.

As for the alpha meeting the person who was leading this should have made it clear that foul language was not appreciated or to be used. I would give alpha courses a wide berth anyway so you are certainly not missing out by not going.

God bless you.

Ken Rank · May 8, 2019

usexpat97 said:
Friend, what I am hearing is not Aspergers, but depression. Keep your head up. I hope & pray you don't give up, but maybe take a break. Jesus said, "Come all you weary, and I will give you rest."

@Tony Ramirez The above is good simple advice. I kind of dealt with something similar about 21 years ago. I took a year off. I don't mean I did whatever I wanted, I didn't put God in a box... I just needed time to think and work out some things that had me confused. After a year, almost to the day... in one of the few times I can honestly say I think I heard God speak, I heard, "times up."

It was like God knew I had gone where I needed to in terms of taking that break, and it was time to come back and serve. And that is what I have done for 20 years now.

Grip Docility · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
Thing is I attended this stupid event because the true believers at the Church suggested it when I was a backslider the first time. It suppose to strengthen my faith but instead it is pointing me to backsliding again.

As I knew they would be some not sure believers but never expected them to swear using that horrible word. It did not happen most of the time when I attended the first group meetings back in 2000-2006 it was outside the Church I heard that word. Now it is worse I guess all that explicit, R and MA rated garbage rots the new generation brains.

What a joke my life feels like I am at square one not trusting people again.

Paul said “Skubula”... in quite a beautiful context. It wasn’t the Christians Story “Ralphy said WHAT”... word, but there’s a point to it.

Paul also said that to escape sin here, we’d have to leave our bodies. Paul wrote of his thorn and concluded Grace was the key, per God Saying “My Grace is sufficient”.

We all fall short. To witness, we are forced to be exposed to the world. We are in the world, but not of the world. It is your Love that differentiates you from “the world”.

God needs your witness and has provided you the grace required to share it with people that make mistakes.

All Love and Grace in Jesus to you...

Cling to Him! Ask Him to carry you when you can’t carry on!

I was once told the difference between mama cat salvation and baby monkey salvation.

A mama Kitty holds her children in her mouth, while a baby monkey has to cling to its mama.

You’re not a baby monkey... and God isn’t a kitty, but the Lion of Judah. He’s got you firmly grasped in His strong jaws and woe to anything that tries to snatch you out!

He’s got you! He’s got you in the most comforting sense.

May Christ comfort your heavy heart and give you the light burden He promised. Feel the easy yoke and rejoice in His Love.

Tony Ramirez · May 8, 2019

Many people have Asperger's but I am the only one in all the good and miserable people on this pathetic planet that has this issue. Really the only one.

2PhiloVoid · May 8, 2019

crossnote said:
Is that Alpha as in Nicky Gumbo's course? I'd rather gather with believers than an ecumenical mish-mash. The f-bomb doesn't surprise me.

What exactly is an "ecumenical mish-mash" in terms of this Nicky Gumbo person?

Tony Ramirez · May 8, 2019

I am worse this morning my mother's knows I am on Suicide watch. Told my therapist she knows too.

Albion · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
I am questioning my faith at all. Right now I believe in nothing. Reading the Bible won't help as I don't even want to look at it.

At tonight's group meeting at the Alpha group a space for believers and non believers everything was good until some not sure Catholic uses the f word in casual conversation in an Church of all places I trust no one again.

I am no longer sure if it is even worth it to go out anymore. At least when I stayed home I did not hear that word except during Christmas go figure birth of Christ was miserable.

My mother who is concerned says to still attend the Friday night prayer service and Sunday and she not devoted.

I know it sounds stupid but at the Church and the Thursday night groups being around true believers was a blessing even forgetting about wearing headphones around strangers. Now however because if this horrible night my guard is up ten fold.

Why did I even bother life was boring but safe as an hermit and I felt lonley but content. When my sister nearly died wish it was me instead the dying part started this mock journey back to God again.

What a waste of time and effort for nothing. All it got me was a burnout of Prozac and an addictive psychotic that is making my head feal funny hearing that horrible f word from stupid filthy German language.

Tony, I am not totally surprised at your Alpha experience. it might be worth knowing that while some churches run Alpha courses for inquirers and students, there is another course of study that other churches much prefer. It is Christianity Explored, and people say it is much better than Alpha.

You might look into it and which churches in your area are running classes in it. If there are none, you can still obtain the series of discussions for yourself on disc and even You Tube, I think.

Christianity Explored Ministries: North America

crossnote · May 8, 2019

2PhiloVoid said:
What exactly is an "ecumenical mish-mash" in terms of this Nicky Gumbo person?

Alpha Course Building One-World Church

Martyr's Crown · May 8, 2019

@Tony Ramirez, as so many other ones have already said to you, sure don't give up this soon!

Couldn't you maybe just start going to a bible group instead, without having any Alpha Course in it? Then it will be stronger set having other Christians around you, learning from the bible as well as possible for having prayers as well!

2PhiloVoid · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
Thing is I attended this stupid event because the true believers at the Church suggested it when I was a backslider the first time. It suppose to strengthen my faith but instead it is pointing me to backsliding again.

As I knew they would be some not sure believers but never expected them to swear using that horrible word. It did not happen most of the time when I attended the first group meetings back in 2000-2006 it was outside the Church I heard that word. Now it is worse I guess all that explicit, R and MA rated garbage rots the new generation brains.

What a joke my life feels like I am at square one not trusting people again.

Our present society is in a 'mish-mash' state, so don't be surprised at the level of humanity that is expressed by various people who are in and out of the Christian faith, Tony. If anything, each of them------each of us, really-----is a human being contending with the pressures of reality BEFORE and WHILE we are Christians. There's that and the fact that none of us is perfect. .... I know I'm not. So, take our hands, and we'll all be imperfect together, Tony! (Peace!)

BNR32FAN · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
I am questioning my faith at all. Right now I believe in nothing. Reading the Bible won't help as I don't even want to look at it.

At tonight's group meeting at the Alpha group a space for believers and non believers everything was good until some not sure Catholic uses the f word in casual conversation in an Church of all places I trust no one again.

I am no longer sure if it is even worth it to go out anymore. At least when I stayed home I did not hear that word except during Christmas go figure birth of Christ was miserable.

My mother who is concerned says to still attend the Friday night prayer service and Sunday and she not devoted.

I know it sounds stupid but at the Church and the Thursday night groups being around true believers was a blessing even forgetting about wearing headphones around strangers. Now however because if this horrible night my guard is up ten fold.

Why did I even bother life was boring but safe as an hermit and I felt lonley but content. When my sister nearly died wish it was me instead the dying part started this mock journey back to God again.

What a waste of time and effort for nothing. All it got me was a burnout of Prozac and an addictive psychotic that is making my head feal funny hearing that horrible f word from stupid filthy German language.

If using the f word is acceptable at the church you are attending you simply need to find another church. Such language is absolutely not acceptable for a Christian. The person who said it should’ve immediately been corrected and warned to refrain from such language. Now perhaps this person is a new believer or a nonbeliever I don’t know but it should definitely not be acceptable for a Christian to talk that way especially at church of all places. Going back to being a hermit is not the answer. God has told us that we should meet together with other Christian on a regular basis.

2PhiloVoid · May 8, 2019

crossnote said:
Alpha Course Building One-World Church

Ok. I see what you're saying; that is kind of (partly) problematic. Thanks for the link!

Martyr's Crown · May 8, 2019

crossnote said:
Alpha Course Building One-World Church

I joined this one time quite some years back, but I didn't find it as upbuilding. But maybe it was because everything were so basic and more directed for non-believers?

It is fine with basic teaching, just that this course weren't very helpful nor interesting for me back then.

Calvin_1985 · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
I am questioning my faith at all. Right now I believe in nothing. Reading the Bible won't help as I don't even want to look at it.

At tonight's group meeting at the Alpha group a space for believers and non believers everything was good until some not sure Catholic uses the f word in casual conversation in an Church of all places I trust no one again.

I am no longer sure if it is even worth it to go out anymore. At least when I stayed home I did not hear that word except during Christmas go figure birth of Christ was miserable.

My mother who is concerned says to still attend the Friday night prayer service and Sunday and she not devoted.

I know it sounds stupid but at the Church and the Thursday night groups being around true believers was a blessing even forgetting about wearing headphones around strangers. Now however because if this horrible night my guard is up ten fold.

Why did I even bother life was boring but safe as an hermit and I felt lonley but content. When my sister nearly died wish it was me instead the dying part started this mock journey back to God again.

What a waste of time and effort for nothing. All it got me was a burnout of Prozac and an addictive psychotic that is making my head feal funny hearing that horrible f word from stupid filthy German language.

Do you think maybe you were putting your Faith in people and institutional church rather than Jesus Christ? Don't let what others have done decide things for you and look to the one who can show you the Truth. Don't forsake the Bible, but pick it up and read it.

JacksBratt · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
I am questioning my faith at all. Right now I believe in nothing. Reading the Bible won't help as I don't even want to look at it.

At tonight's group meeting at the Alpha group a space for believers and non believers everything was good until some not sure Catholic uses the f word in casual conversation in an Church of all places I trust no one again.

I am no longer sure if it is even worth it to go out anymore. At least when I stayed home I did not hear that word except during Christmas go figure birth of Christ was miserable.

My mother who is concerned says to still attend the Friday night prayer service and Sunday and she not devoted.

I know it sounds stupid but at the Church and the Thursday night groups being around true believers was a blessing even forgetting about wearing headphones around strangers. Now however because if this horrible night my guard is up ten fold.

Why did I even bother life was boring but safe as an hermit and I felt lonley but content. When my sister nearly died wish it was me instead the dying part started this mock journey back to God again.

What a waste of time and effort for nothing. All it got me was a burnout of Prozac and an addictive psychotic that is making my head feal funny hearing that horrible f word from stupid filthy German language.

What does what other people do, or not do, have anything to do with your relationship with Christ?

The whole idea behind Christianity is that we come as we are.

Even after salvation, we are still sinners.

I work with a guy who I have known since grade 5. We have been in and out of each others lives for decades...

Somewhere along his road, he met Christ... One of the strongest Christians I know.. would give the shirt of his back... would die for his wife.. they raised 4 lovely girls who are now in Christian marriages.

Thing is... he swears like he used to....

Do I care?

Should I care?

No... it's his relationship with God that counts...

Is he perfect... Nope.

Am I perfect..Nope.

Is anyone perfect.... Nope...

So... why all the fuss about the actions of others... Christ does not care... why should you?

Andrew77 · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
I am questioning my faith at all. Right now I believe in nothing. Reading the Bible won't help as I don't even want to look at it.

At tonight's group meeting at the Alpha group a space for believers and non believers everything was good until some not sure Catholic uses the f word in casual conversation in an Church of all places I trust no one again.

I am no longer sure if it is even worth it to go out anymore. At least when I stayed home I did not hear that word except during Christmas go figure birth of Christ was miserable.

My mother who is concerned says to still attend the Friday night prayer service and Sunday and she not devoted.

I know it sounds stupid but at the Church and the Thursday night groups being around true believers was a blessing even forgetting about wearing headphones around strangers. Now however because if this horrible night my guard is up ten fold.

Why did I even bother life was boring but safe as an hermit and I felt lonley but content. When my sister nearly died wish it was me instead the dying part started this mock journey back to God again.

What a waste of time and effort for nothing. All it got me was a burnout of Prozac and an addictive psychotic that is making my head feal funny hearing that horrible f word from stupid filthy German language.

Ok... so, you sound quite a bit like me. You have said all the same things that I have said in my life.

However, there is one core difference. You are worshiping people, not G-d. How do I know this? Because one one man lets you down... you have a melt down.

G-d didn't cuss at you man. That one dude cussed. And I hate the F-bomb. I hate that word. Because
"Fornication Under Consent of the King"

There is only one King. There is just one King, and he does not consent to fornication. Amen?

So I hate that word.

But here's the kicker. G-d never let you down. Just that one dude did. Well move on. He may not even know how terrible that word is.

If you are in a place where if a mere man can cause you to have a crash, then your eyes are on men... and men will always let you down. You need to get your eyes on G-d. Start living your life for G-d, not men.

SeventhFisherofMen · May 8, 2019

Tony Ramirez said:
I am questioning my faith at all. Right now I believe in nothing. Reading the Bible won't help as I don't even want to look at it.

At tonight's group meeting at the Alpha group a space for believers and non believers everything was good until some not sure Catholic uses the f word in casual conversation in an Church of all places I trust no one again.

I am no longer sure if it is even worth it to go out anymore. At least when I stayed home I did not hear that word except during Christmas go figure birth of Christ was miserable.

My mother who is concerned says to still attend the Friday night prayer service and Sunday and she not devoted.

I know it sounds stupid but at the Church and the Thursday night groups being around true believers was a blessing even forgetting about wearing headphones around strangers. Now however because if this horrible night my guard is up ten fold.

Why did I even bother life was boring but safe as an hermit and I felt lonley but content. When my sister nearly died wish it was me instead the dying part started this mock journey back to God again.

What a waste of time and effort for nothing. All it got me was a burnout of Prozac and an addictive psychotic that is making my head feal funny hearing that horrible f word from stupid filthy German language.

Don't give up friend, yes the church occasionally may have people that do things we don't agree with or even that God would agree with but all that matters at the end of the day is that you are valuable to God, no one can take that away from you and just ignore that person it sounds like they don't even realize how lame they were being.

Giving up. Last posts.

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