Struggling to conceive...

Tolch said:

Hi all. Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for the last 6 months and we've had no success at all. We're exploring different options to help us a little - we're both picking up more exercise and healthier eating (no more cheat days!) and I'm trying out an ovulation kit that measures what days I ovulate so we can try more then and see what happens after not having much success with an online ovulation calculator (might help someone in the future? here it is). I understand 6 months isn't much at all compared to others, but nevertheless we hope for some advice and prayers to help us bring our own into the world.

Many thanks <3

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It will happen the important thing is to not play the blame game or begin to resent one another. God's timing is perfect, trust in that and be happy. That's my .02.

Tolch said:

Hi all. Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for the last 6 months and we've had no success at all. We're exploring different options to help us a little - we're both picking up more exercise and healthier eating (no more cheat days!) and I'm trying out an ovulation kit that measures what days I ovulate so we can try more then and see what happens after not having much success with an online ovulation calculator (might help someone in the future? here it is). I understand 6 months isn't much at all compared to others, but nevertheless we hope for some advice and prayers to help us bring our own into the world.

Many thanks <3

Click to expand...

I’m among the ones with a much longer period of time without success, but I understand where you are coming from!

Try out the ovulation calculator or maybe tracking your basal body temp. Just try not to focus too much on not being successful with it or on trying to do everything just right to make it happen. It can become an obsession - a good desire, but obsessing about it can be difficult for your marriage and well-being. I know from experience Testing can be useful, but depending on your age (35 or younger) a year before testing may be more appropriate. Sometimes the testing process can be tough and not produce much success though - so it’s not a foolproof solution.

Prayers for you all.

Tolch said:

Hi all. Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for the last 6 months and we've had no success at all. We're exploring different options to help us a little - we're both picking up more exercise and healthier eating (no more cheat days!) and I'm trying out an ovulation kit that measures what days I ovulate so we can try more then and see what happens after not having much success with an online ovulation calculator (might help someone in the future? here it is). I understand 6 months isn't much at all compared to others, but nevertheless we hope for some advice and prayers to help us bring our own into the world.

Many thanks <3

Click to expand...

My wife had the same trouble for a little bit over the time you stated. She was beginning to think it was me (lol).

However, prior to this, she was taking birth control pills for quite some time. It was probably a good 7 months or so before we saw any results. I assumed myself that it just could of been her body "redialing" itself into working order (for lack of a better word so to speak). If you were by chance doing that same, just give your body a little more time.

But because I am no doctor, maybe by chance you and the hubby should get checked out. I know that probably would put some anxiety on you both, but it would be good to know what exactly might be going on.

The doc can give you a more precise answer than anything you, I, or people here would be able to.

I had an exceptionally hard time getting and staying pregnant. I did end up getting pregnant and carrying as close to term as possible (I was technically like 35 or 37 weeks when I had my son), but it took years and more miscarriages than I’d like to talk about. I wish I had some sort of magic answer as to what helped, but I don’t. Finally one time it took for reasons unknown, but because I wasn’t trying at the time and was fresh off a miscarriage I kept private... I got a lot of “I told it would happen if you just relaxed!” I wanted to punch people who said that to me.

My only advice is to have faith that, however it happens, is how it was meant to happen. It’s hard to believe/survive when you’re in the middle of it, but it really is true. And really rely on each other. Come up with a united, comfortable way you address those obnoxious baby questions and clear boundaries about what could and couldn’t be shared. On days where I was particularly sensitive to the topic, my other half ran interference for me, diverting the topic to anything else. That helped a lot.

And I know it seems counterintuitive and I know you will hate hearing it, but this is the advice I absolutely wish somebody gave me. Make sure you take time off from trying some months. Like try three months, then “not try but not preventing” it a month, then go try for another three months, then sit out on actively trying for a month, etc.

Hear me out... Please.

You really need that time off so that you remember how to be together as a couple and be intimate without the weight of baby-making looming over you. Once you decide to have a child, your sex life will change, and once that baby comes it will change it forever. Don’t miss out on the joys of married, intimate, don’t have to hide it, doing it all around the house “just because I feel like it” sex. That’s a lot of fun and once kids come, it still happens but not as often or in the same way. You worry about who’s walking in, who can hear, if he’s tired or your tired, what time who is getting up with which kid, etc etc... Enjoy sex for intimacy on your terms, and it gives you a break from “babymaking brain” and reconnects you with “oh yeah, that’s why we like this!” sex.

Tolch said:

Hi all. Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for the last 6 months and we've had no success at all. We're exploring different options to help us a little - we're both picking up more exercise and healthier eating (no more cheat days!) and I'm trying out an ovulation kit that measures what days I ovulate so we can try more then and see what happens after not having much success with an online ovulation calculator (might help someone in the future? here it is). I understand 6 months isn't much at all compared to others, but nevertheless we hope for some advice and prayers to help us bring our own into the world.

Many thanks <3

Click to expand...

First, be patient. Do learn everything you can about cycles and signs from Natural Family Planning. You might be just a day or two off, and that can make a big difference.

If that doesn't work, do look into NaProTechnology, developed by Dr. Hilgers at Creighton University. They are smart people in that program and can figure out if something is wrong, and likely a remedy that will work. The program is available all over the country now, but started in Omaha.

Then there is the method I have actually seen work for some couples. They adopt. And then they conceive too. But I added it mostly for levity.

Do check out the NaProTechnology if nothing happens in a year. It is not invasive and unnatural like in-vitro fertilization and even the Catholic Church has no issue with NaProTechnology. They do have an issue with in-vitro fertilization. It's creepy what some fertility clinics do with fertilized ova, freezing them and some of them just stay in the liquid Nitrogen for years and years. Please don't go that way.

My wife and I tried for about 4-5 years before we finally succeeded with our first child, then for another 3 years for our second. The only advice I have to give is to just keep trying - but not to make it the focal point of your lives/sex lives/etc. And that's a VERY easy thing to let happen.