Coworker-friend left me during an emergency!!

Timahani

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Hey Everyone,

I need some advice because I think a coworker is taking advantage of me.

For example, Last Thursday, we were eating lunch. Instantly, I started vomiting in her classroom violently. Sorry, to be so graphic, but this continued for 10 minutes. During this entire time, she just continued typing and preparing her computer for the students who were about to come. Without one time asking me if I needed help ! I was like , "Hello, I am very sick. Can you get me some water or napkins. She just replied, "I know!" and that was it and acted distant. :ill:

The very next day, I feel unconscious 2x in the classroom upon awaking I sent one student to her room to call for help another to go grab security. She walked in the room, saw me slumped over, said that she was going to call Anna and left. She never once came back to check on me. I was indeed very ill and was rushed immediately to the hospital. My students were very traumatized and upset about the situation.:ouch: It took security a very long time to get there and the principals. She did tell me that she was going to check up on me this weekend but I knew that it was a lie. I was correct! She never called. this is a person who I talk to , eat lunch with every single day, share students with etc.

The thing is, I stay with her 2x a week for an additional 8 hours after school because she teaches night students and I she does not want to be left alone. When her grandchild was hospitalized, I went immediately to support her right after work. She will do a favor for me, but it is with an attitude. I have communicated my concerns and she just states that I am misreading her intentions. Should I stop having lunch with her? Should I stop staying afterschool with her? How can I have better boundaries with her as well and teach her how to treat others? Or am I simply over exaggerating?
 

Loyce KG

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Hey Everyone,

I need some advice because I think a coworker is taking advantage of me.

For example, Last Thursday, we were eating lunch. Instantly, I started vomiting in her classroom violently. Sorry, to be so graphic, but this continued for 10 minutes. During this entire time, she just continued typing and preparing her computer for the students who were about to come. Without one time asking me if I needed help ! I was like , "Hello, I am very sick. Can you get me some water or napkins. She just replied, "I know!" and that was it and acted distant. :ill:

The very next day, I feel unconscious 2x in the classroom upon awaking I sent one student to her room to call for help another to go grab security. She walked in the room, saw me slumped over, said that she was going to call Anna and left. She never once came back to check on me. I was indeed very ill and was rushed immediately to the hospital. My students were very traumatized and upset about the situation.:ouch: It took security a very long time to get there and the principals. She did tell me that she was going to check up on me this weekend but I knew that it was a lie. I was correct! She never called. this is a person who I talk to , eat lunch with every single day, share students with etc.

The thing is, I stay with her 2x a week for an additional 8 hours after school because she teaches night students and I she does not want to be left alone. When her grandchild was hospitalized, I went immediately to support her right after work. She will do a favor for me, but it is with an attitude. I have communicated my concerns and she just states that I am misreading her intentions. Should I stop having lunch with her? Should I stop staying afterschool with her? How can I have better boundaries with her as well and teach her how to treat others? Or am I simply over exaggerating?
“Bless those who persecute you — bless them, don’t curse them!

Repay no one evil for evil, but try to do what everyone regards as good.

Never seek revenge, my friends; instead, leave that to God’s anger; for in the Tanakh it is written, “ ADONAI says, ‘Vengeance is my responsibility; I will repay.’” On the contrary, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For by doing this, you will heap fiery coals [of shame] on his head.” Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.”
‭‭Romans (Rom)‬ ‭12:14, 17, 19-21‬ ‭CJB‬‬
 
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Kenny'sID

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Yep, I'm afraid loyce is correct, but how tough is that to do? I would want to ignore and stay away from her for a time, as much as possible anyway. What she's doing is just cold, and a bit unsettling.

Now there is the golden rule, and I don't mean what you think I do.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

So the question is, if you treated someone the way she is treating you, would you "have them" just put up with it, or would you rather "have them do" something to get your attention so clueless you learns and doesn't treat her/others like that anymore? I can see good people choosing the latter, and the way I see it, it would be an honest and legit way to use that rule, albeit a bit unusual..

You'd have to treat is as if it is not revenge and don't do it out of anger, always keeping in mind what you are doing is your way of actually helping her.

It's at least an interesting concept, and use of the rule....you decide.
 
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LoricaLady

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Okay, maybe I'm feeling paranoid, but has that person had access to your food or drink sources? Something to think about. That person sounds pathological. Avoid. Avoid. She doesn't have red flags, she is wrapped head to toe in a red flag.
 
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LoricaLady

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And P.S. In the Bible, when a "brother" refuses to be corrected, we are told to treat that person like a pagan or a tax collector, in other words you don't have to put up with their behaviors but can distance yourself from them. I suggest you get online, particularly on You Tube, and research the Narcissiistic, Sociopathic and Psychopathic personality disorders. Such people don't change! This is shown to be true through the experience of thousands of therapists, and those who have lived with them.

One good source of info is Surviving Narcissism, a channel run by a Christian psychotherapist. I personally think everyone should watch his, and other such, vids. Those kinds of personality disordered people are all over the place. You will undoubtedly recognize some from your own life and probably think,
"Oh! So that's what was going on!"

Well, they do change, but only to get worse. They can all be very dangerous and characteristically will commonly cause harm where they can get away with it. They enjoy hurting others. It is their addiction. Sad, but as those therapists attest, true.

 
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Timahani

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Okay, maybe I'm feeling paranoid, but has that person had access to your food or drink sources? Something to think about. That person sounds pathological. Avoid. Avoid. She doesn't have red flags, she is wrapped head to toe in a red flag.

Yes, she keeps all my food in her classroom because she has a refrigerator and microwave so I leave everything in there!
 
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LoricaLady

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Yes, she keeps all my food in her classroom because she has a refrigerator and microwave so I leave everything in there!
Father have mercy! I assume you will find another place to store your food. There is so much stuff you can just tuck into a desk drawer - maybe way in the back, behind stuff, so she doesn't see it. A well wrapped sandwich can last just fine for hours with no refrigeration, ditto lots of other foods, cups of yogurt and so on.

She sounds like a dangerous psycho for sure. I pray for your protection and for the protection of others in her wake.
 
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com7fy8

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Do you have Jesus people in your church? Does she claim to be a Christian? You can share with the real ones, and pray for her. And see how God enlightens and encourages you and makes you creative for this. I would not trust anything that is not in the ruling of God's peace in your heart.

In case she is a deeply sick with evil person, God is able to change any evil person to become capable of feeling for others. And He will use your prayer and good example > 1 Corinthians 15:58.
 
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LoricaLady

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Hey Everyone,

I need some advice because I think a coworker is taking advantage of me.

For example, Last Thursday, we were eating lunch. Instantly, I started vomiting in her classroom violently. Sorry, to be so graphic, but this continued for 10 minutes. During this entire time, she just continued typing and preparing her computer for the students who were about to come. Without one time asking me if I needed help ! I was like , "Hello, I am very sick. Can you get me some water or napkins. She just replied, "I know!" and that was it and acted distant. :ill:

The very next day, I feel unconscious 2x in the classroom upon awaking I sent one student to her room to call for help another to go grab security. She walked in the room, saw me slumped over, said that she was going to call Anna and left. She never once came back to check on me. I was indeed very ill and was rushed immediately to the hospital. My students were very traumatized and upset about the situation.:ouch: It took security a very long time to get there and the principals. She did tell me that she was going to check up on me this weekend but I knew that it was a lie. I was correct! She never called. this is a person who I talk to , eat lunch with every single day, share students with etc.

The thing is, I stay with her 2x a week for an additional 8 hours after school because she teaches night students and I she does not want to be left alone. When her grandchild was hospitalized, I went immediately to support her right after work. She will do a favor for me, but it is with an attitude. I have communicated my concerns and she just states that I am misreading her intentions. Should I stop having lunch with her? Should I stop staying afterschool with her? How can I have better boundaries with her as well and teach her how to treat others? Or am I simply over exaggerating?

It is not exactly true to say that the Lord can change any evil person. Messiah made it very clear that some people here on earth are demon seed, planted by their father the devil, and that their ultimate destiny will be the fiery pit. They canNOT be saved.

Now I have no clue if that woman is demon seed or not. But I think Christians can be very naive and put themselves at risk because of that. We often just can't imagine people being flat out, and gonna stay that way, evil. But such people are definitely out there! Again, psychotherapists and countless others say that some personality disordered people simply don't change no matter what anyone does.

In some cases it appears the brain's cortex, which deals with the empathy areas, are diminished or worse. Such people cannot feel concern for others, though in the deadness of their emotions, they generally get kicks from trying to make them suffer. How do you build up someone's brain cortex? These are harsh truths. Of course pray for her, and you probably already have! I'm not saying she can't be saved or that she has this or that disorder. I'm saying that she may not be saved!

Also, Messiah said that "few" would take the straight and narrow path to Heaven. Those aren't great statistics for hope, either.

In the meantime you can save someone. You!
 
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Joined2krist

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Please stop having lunch with her. I wouldn't do it again if I was in your shoes. What if you stay behind with her and you get sick again but there's no one else to help you except her? I think you should also stop staying behind with her. Be friendly and nice to her but don't put yourself in a position where you'll need her help because she might disappoint again. God bless
 
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Andrew77

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Hey Everyone,

I need some advice because I think a coworker is taking advantage of me.

For example, Last Thursday, we were eating lunch. Instantly, I started vomiting in her classroom violently. Sorry, to be so graphic, but this continued for 10 minutes. During this entire time, she just continued typing and preparing her computer for the students who were about to come. Without one time asking me if I needed help ! I was like , "Hello, I am very sick. Can you get me some water or napkins. She just replied, "I know!" and that was it and acted distant. :ill:

The very next day, I feel unconscious 2x in the classroom upon awaking I sent one student to her room to call for help another to go grab security. She walked in the room, saw me slumped over, said that she was going to call Anna and left. She never once came back to check on me. I was indeed very ill and was rushed immediately to the hospital. My students were very traumatized and upset about the situation.:ouch: It took security a very long time to get there and the principals. She did tell me that she was going to check up on me this weekend but I knew that it was a lie. I was correct! She never called. this is a person who I talk to , eat lunch with every single day, share students with etc.

The thing is, I stay with her 2x a week for an additional 8 hours after school because she teaches night students and I she does not want to be left alone. When her grandchild was hospitalized, I went immediately to support her right after work. She will do a favor for me, but it is with an attitude. I have communicated my concerns and she just states that I am misreading her intentions. Should I stop having lunch with her? Should I stop staying afterschool with her? How can I have better boundaries with her as well and teach her how to treat others? Or am I simply over exaggerating?

When I was reading this, a verse came to mind.

Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you host a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind, and you will be blessed. Since they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”​

Luke 14:13

Are you only helping this person, because you expect to get back in return what you give? If so, then this is not the Christianity that Jesus taught.

At the same time, if this is really harming you, then consider carefully what you should do.

Only you can determine that answer for yourself.
 
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Petros2015

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When her grandchild was hospitalized, I went immediately to support her right after work.

... what was the grandchild hospitalized for?
Please tell me it wasn't something she ate...
 
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Dorothy Mae

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Hey Everyone,

I need some advice because I think a coworker is taking advantage of me.

For example, Last Thursday, we were eating lunch. Instantly, I started vomiting in her classroom violently. Sorry, to be so graphic, but this continued for 10 minutes. During this entire time, she just continued typing and preparing her computer for the students who were about to come. Without one time asking me if I needed help ! I was like , "Hello, I am very sick. Can you get me some water or napkins. She just replied, "I know!" and that was it and acted distant. :ill:

The very next day, I feel unconscious 2x in the classroom upon awaking I sent one student to her room to call for help another to go grab security. She walked in the room, saw me slumped over, said that she was going to call Anna and left. She never once came back to check on me. I was indeed very ill and was rushed immediately to the hospital. My students were very traumatized and upset about the situation.:ouch: It took security a very long time to get there and the principals. She did tell me that she was going to check up on me this weekend but I knew that it was a lie. I was correct! She never called. this is a person who I talk to , eat lunch with every single day, share students with etc.

The thing is, I stay with her 2x a week for an additional 8 hours after school because she teaches night students and I she does not want to be left alone. When her grandchild was hospitalized, I went immediately to support her right after work. She will do a favor for me, but it is with an attitude. I have communicated my concerns and she just states that I am misreading her intentions. Should I stop having lunch with her? Should I stop staying afterschool with her? How can I have better boundaries with her as well and teach her how to treat others? Or am I simply over exaggerating?
At the very least, she is NOT your friend. You are hers but she is not yours. And maybe she did poison you. We are obligated to do good to those who treat us badly, true. We are not obligated to call them friends, trust them or expect anything out of them. So you might want to broaden your lunch bunch and find time for friends. She is not one.
 
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Timahani

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Yes! I was violently ill. The virus from the food overwhelmed my body thus causing me to go unconscious. I bruised my ribs and back when I fell because I hit the desk 2 x. I had to be hospitalized and just returned home from my follow up visit. I NEVER thought of poison! Nonetheless, she had no response ! Zero ! Nothing! It was eerily strange almost evil . She didn't miss a beat in her typing or her set. She did not ask if I was okay. Wow! I a floored. I appreciate all the knowledge and wisdom that I am getting from you all. This is Psycho.
 
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LoricaLady

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Yes! I was violently ill. The virus from the food overwhelmed my body thus causing me to go unconscious. I bruised my ribs and back when I fell because I hit the desk 2 x. I had to be hospitalized and just returned home from my follow up visit. I NEVER thought of poison! Nonetheless, she had no response ! Zero ! Nothing! It was eerily strange almost evil . She didn't miss a beat in her typing or her set. She did not ask if I was okay. Wow! I a floored. I appreciate all the knowledge and wisdom that I am getting from you all. This is Psycho.
Per my understanding, to someone who has become proficient at poisoning, viruses can be slipped into food and drink. I'd guess, too, that some poisons mimic viruses but am not sure on that. I like what another poster said above, wondering what actually landed her granddaughter in the hospital, and if she had any symptoms like yours.
 
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Hey Everyone,

I need some advice because I think a coworker is taking advantage of me.

For example, Last Thursday, we were eating lunch. Instantly, I started vomiting in her classroom violently. Sorry, to be so graphic, but this continued for 10 minutes. During this entire time, she just continued typing and preparing her computer for the students who were about to come. Without one time asking me if I needed help ! I was like , "Hello, I am very sick. Can you get me some water or napkins. She just replied, "I know!" and that was it and acted distant. :ill:

The very next day, I feel unconscious 2x in the classroom upon awaking I sent one student to her room to call for help another to go grab security. She walked in the room, saw me slumped over, said that she was going to call Anna and left. She never once came back to check on me. I was indeed very ill and was rushed immediately to the hospital. My students were very traumatized and upset about the situation.:ouch: It took security a very long time to get there and the principals. She did tell me that she was going to check up on me this weekend but I knew that it was a lie. I was correct! She never called. this is a person who I talk to , eat lunch with every single day, share students with etc.

The thing is, I stay with her 2x a week for an additional 8 hours after school because she teaches night students and I she does not want to be left alone. When her grandchild was hospitalized, I went immediately to support her right after work. She will do a favor for me, but it is with an attitude. I have communicated my concerns and she just states that I am misreading her intentions. Should I stop having lunch with her? Should I stop staying afterschool with her? How can I have better boundaries with her as well and teach her how to treat others? Or am I simply over exaggerating?

Cut her loose do not depend on her and don't go out of your way to help her.

Friendship is a two-way street.

M-Bob
 
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