Giving to the homeless

Mtol117

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I am in college and on the weekends everyone goes into New Haven CT. I get dragged out every now and then. I know it's not christlike to be going to bars or go clubbing, but when i do i learn a-lot of lessons. Sometimes i will have homeless people ask me for money (there are alot of homeless people in downtown New Haven, especially at night) and i will give them money. Here's the thing, there is a big drug problem in that city, and its very common to see people high on heroin even during the day, and alot of homeless people get hooked on drugs. The other day i went to get pizza at night in the city, and i was waiting for an uber back to my campus, a woman came up to me and asked me if i had any money for pizza, she was a cancer patient at the nearby hospital. I had given her what money i had left. A few moments later a homeless man came up to me and asked me for money, i told him i didn't have any money left, and he kept insisting for him to take me to an atm. I went inside the pizzeria and asked to see the atm, but they told me not to give him any money because "these people are all on drugs". The owner ended up telling him to leave me alone and the guy left.

I felt bad because while the guy appeared to be drunk or have had substance abuse problems he is still a person.

the thing that i have been thinking about is the ethics of this, of what someone you give money too will spend it on. For example over the summer almost 100 people overdosed in the city in the span of 2 days.
More than 90 people overdosed on K2 in one New Haven park - CNN
I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them
 
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timewerx

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I am in college and on the weekends everyone goes into New Haven CT. I get dragged out every now and then. I know it's not christlike to be going to bars or go clubbing, but when i do i learn a-lot of lessons. Sometimes i will have homeless people ask me for money (there are alot of homeless people in downtown New Haven, especially at night) and i will give them money. Here's the thing, there is a big drug problem in that city, and its very common to see people high on heroin even during the day, and alot of homeless people get hooked on drugs. The other day i went to get pizza at night in the city, and i was waiting for an uber back to my campus, a woman came up to me and asked me if i had any money for pizza, she was a cancer patient at the nearby hospital. I had given her what money i had left. A few moments later a homeless man came up to me and asked me for money, i told him i didn't have any money left, and he kept insisting for him to take me to an atm. I went inside the pizzeria and asked to see the atm, but they told me not to give him any money because "these people are all on drugs". The owner ended up telling him to leave me alone and the guy left.

I felt bad because while the guy appeared to be drunk or have had substance abuse problems he is still a person.

the thing that i have been thinking about is the ethics of this, of what someone you give money too will spend it on. For example over the summer almost 100 people overdosed in the city in the span of 2 days.
More than 90 people overdosed on K2 in one New Haven park - CNN
I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them

Very good for you!

Here's my gold advice to solve your dilemma:

What St. John and Paul said in the Bible about giving or charity is we must prioritize our brothers and sisters in the faith first.

We must help our poor Christian brothers and sisters first before unbelievers.

At least, our poor Christian brothers and sisters won't spend financial assitance on drugs and booze.

We don't just randomly give money to anyone. Brothers and sisters first and finally, use discernment.
 
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Heavenhome

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Your heart is in the right place for sure and it is sad that we have to think twice about it. Giving money to someone drunk or drugged I don't think I would do for the very reason you stated. Food or a drink, yes and I would say something if people were mocking.
To be so "aggressive" as to demand you go to an ATM would definitely tell me not to give.
Sorry that sounds harsh, help as in getting them some assistance (if they agree or if they are in danger yes, regardless) but being told to go to bank or only cash, no.
 
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ewq1938

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Offer them food or blankets etc...but money is always a bad idea. It tells them you have money in case they decide to rob you, and 99.9 percent the money is used on alcohol or drugs which isn't what you want to help them buy. You also really shouldn't be dealing with any homeless when you are alone, especially at night.


I am in college and on the weekends everyone goes into New Haven CT. I get dragged out every now and then. I know it's not christlike to be going to bars or go clubbing, but when i do i learn a-lot of lessons. Sometimes i will have homeless people ask me for money (there are alot of homeless people in downtown New Haven, especially at night) and i will give them money. Here's the thing, there is a big drug problem in that city, and its very common to see people high on heroin even during the day, and alot of homeless people get hooked on drugs. The other day i went to get pizza at night in the city, and i was waiting for an uber back to my campus, a woman came up to me and asked me if i had any money for pizza, she was a cancer patient at the nearby hospital. I had given her what money i had left. A few moments later a homeless man came up to me and asked me for money, i told him i didn't have any money left, and he kept insisting for him to take me to an atm. I went inside the pizzeria and asked to see the atm, but they told me not to give him any money because "these people are all on drugs". The owner ended up telling him to leave me alone and the guy left.

I felt bad because while the guy appeared to be drunk or have had substance abuse problems he is still a person.

the thing that i have been thinking about is the ethics of this, of what someone you give money too will spend it on. For example over the summer almost 100 people overdosed in the city in the span of 2 days.
More than 90 people overdosed on K2 in one New Haven park - CNN
I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them
 
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thecolorsblend

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I am in college and on the weekends everyone goes into New Haven CT. I get dragged out every now and then. I know it's not christlike to be going to bars or go clubbing, but when i do i learn a-lot of lessons. Sometimes i will have homeless people ask me for money (there are alot of homeless people in downtown New Haven, especially at night) and i will give them money. Here's the thing, there is a big drug problem in that city, and its very common to see people high on heroin even during the day, and alot of homeless people get hooked on drugs. The other day i went to get pizza at night in the city, and i was waiting for an uber back to my campus, a woman came up to me and asked me if i had any money for pizza, she was a cancer patient at the nearby hospital. I had given her what money i had left. A few moments later a homeless man came up to me and asked me for money, i told him i didn't have any money left, and he kept insisting for him to take me to an atm. I went inside the pizzeria and asked to see the atm, but they told me not to give him any money because "these people are all on drugs". The owner ended up telling him to leave me alone and the guy left.

I felt bad because while the guy appeared to be drunk or have had substance abuse problems he is still a person.

the thing that i have been thinking about is the ethics of this, of what someone you give money too will spend it on. For example over the summer almost 100 people overdosed in the city in the span of 2 days.
More than 90 people overdosed on K2 in one New Haven park - CNN
I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them
We're not responsible for the decisions other make using our charity.

However, we know we live in a world of scammers. Everybody has a sob story. But the good news is it's not hard to get your hands on homeless kits that include new socks, maps to homeless shelters and other non-money items that can help those truly in need but which are virtually worthless to people looking to scam a quick buck.

As it happens, there are a lot of problems in life where throwing money at them isn't the answer. Panhandling is one of them, I think.

I learn from trial and error. Some things work, some things are hopeless failures. One time I came out of a store and on my way to my car I was intercepted by some guy with a really heart-tugging story about how he needed money for a bus fare because of circumstances more rare than winning the lottery twice, getting struck by lightning and then attacked by sharks on land all in the same day. It was a real masterpiece, let me tell you.

I have this real dingbat thing I do sometimes of trying to see the best in others. So I gave the guy some money. Not much. Just a big handful of coins but it was all I had on me.

A week later, same parking lot, same circumstances, same store even. And the same beggar. With the exact same sob story. He didn't remember me but I remembered him. I learn from trial and error, remember? I was a little furious (but not too much) about him obviously running a scam so I decided a nice little bit of public shame might help him see the error of his ways.

I pointed at him and shouted "THIEF! THIEF!" over and over again at the top of my lungs. He turned beet red and ran across the parking lot. I suppose a cop saw the whole thing and, surprise surprise, it turned out the guy really was a thief or something and he had warrants out for him. So the cop hauled him off to the pokey and thanked me for my help.

Not too sure if that was an error exactly. But a little public shame for obvious scammers might not be a bad option if it doesn't endanger anybody's safety.

For everything else, well, as I say there is always the homeless kit.
 
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seeking.IAM

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I also give to those who ask under certain conditions, as well as giving to legitimate charities. The Bible does not place qualifiers on which poor we should give to, who is worthy and who is not. At the same time, I think one needs to establish some rules, if for no other reason because we don't have unlimited resources.

Here are my rules. I don't give to sign holders. I give to people that approach me and ask for help. Right or wrong, I think it takes a special kind of humility to approach someone and ask for money. Sign holders strike me as professionals out doing their jobs. I help no more than one person an outing as I do not have unlimited resources. I try not to pull out my wallet in the presence of a beggar.
If I am out and about I plan on getting panhandled, place what I intend to give in my pocket, and give from there. I give to one person a trip. The second to ask will have to try to catch me next day I'm out. I tend not to give to people that are obviously impaired. I know a fellow who keeps a supply of McDonald's gift cards to hand out for this purpose.

I once offered a homeless person my doggy bag after walking out of restaurant. It was ravenously consumed as if the chap hadn't eaten for days. Another time, I gave a chap some paper money, and he threw a hug on my and took off running for McDonald's across the street. The homeless have to eat, too. Drug users and alcoholics eat, too.
 
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Pomegranate

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I like what this site has to say about responding to those who ask for money, it may be a useful read, it may not. It is a Christian website, so the content should be suitable for the majority of people here :).

It can be hard to resist helping those who need it, however we have to sit back and ask ourselves are we actually helping our fellow man or are we enabling them to hurt themselves? We have a duty to act out of love towards those in need, and giving money is not always acting in love.

I do not believe in ignoring the needy, we should be trying to connect them to the help they need. When you see street pastors, or other charitable organisations, out and about, it is not money they provide to the homeless but shoes, food, water, connecting them to services which will give them a safe place to sleep. Whenever money is asked of me, I make it clear that I will help them access support systems but I will not give them money directly. Some become rude and walk away, and with others I can then have honest conversations about what they need.

Many groups working directly with the homeless and needy advise against giving them money, and I would support this. There are those in my town who beg, but are dropped off in the morning by someone in a car to start their begging shift then picked up again at night. Whilst people do give them money, I do not, particularly after they made it very clear that they would only accept cash.
 
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Some people begging for money are just down on their luck, but more often they are drug/alcohol users and scammers. I have bought meals for some of them at local fast food places. I would rather do that than give them money. I recall being in Prague and was out walking early one morning (I’m an early riser and liked getting out before the tourist crowds gathered) when a young lady stopped me and said “you want blow job?” She looked very emaciated. I told her no thanks but asked her in my broken Czech if she had eaten recently. She said no, so I took her to a nearby McDonalds for breakfast. She really appreciated it.

BTW, I put street performers in a different category—I give money to them without hesitation. During my last visit to the Strip District in the ‘burgh I saw an excellent young violinist and a young clarinetist performing on the street. I stopped and enjoyed their music and left them each with $5. They are working and earning their money.
 
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yeshuaslavejeff

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QUOTE="Mtol117, post: 73875864, member: 387726"]I am in college and on the weekends everyone goes into New Haven CT. I get dragged out every now and then. I know it's not christlike to be going to bars or go clubbing, but when i do i learn a-lot of lessons. Sometimes i will have homeless people ask me for money (there are alot of homeless people in downtown New Haven, especially at night) and i will give them money. Here's the thing, there is a big drug problem in that city, and its very common to see people high on heroin even during the day, and alot of homeless people get hooked on drugs. The other day i went to get pizza at night in the city, and i was waiting for an uber back to my campus, a woman came up to me and asked me if i had any money for pizza, she was a cancer patient at the nearby hospital. I had given her what money i had left. A few moments later a homeless man came up to me and asked me for money, i told him i didn't have any money left, and he kept insisting for him to take me to an atm. I went inside the pizzeria and asked to see the atm, but they told me not to give him any money because "these people are all on drugs". The owner ended up telling him to leave me alone and the guy left.

I felt bad because while the guy appeared to be drunk or have had substance abuse problems he is still a person.

the thing that i have been thinking about is the ethics of this, of what someone you give money too will spend it on. For example over the summer almost 100 people overdosed in the city in the span of 2 days.
More than 90 people overdosed on K2 in one New Haven park - CNN
I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them[/QUOTE
============================
========

Don't give money to people because of feelings. That could be always wrong and usually a sin. (feelings and emotions come and go, and are notoriously wrong and unreliable and untrue)

You already know why not to give people money (you listed reasons in the post) ,
AND
the owner/workers in the pizza place warned you correctly.
 
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Aldebaran

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I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them

I'd say give them food instead of money. It's food that they say they need the money for, right? If they do have a drug/alcohol problem (which is often what caused them to be homeless in the first place), then the money is more likely to go for that purpose, and will do them more harm than good.
 
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Aldebaran

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Don't give money to people because of feelings. That could be always wrong and usually a sin. (feelings and emotions come and go, and are notoriously wrong and unreliable and untrue)

You already know why not to give people money (you listed reasons in the post) ,
AND
the owner/workers in the pizza place warned you correctly.

Couldn't those feelings be coming from the Holy Spirit convicting us to do something? For example, I had an experience recently at a public library where a black guy in a wheelchair stopped me and asked for a certain amount of money for a bus ticket to get back home. He said some things about being in the hospital after a suicide attempt and showed me a large scar on his leg. I didn't quite understand everything he said. Well, I felt convicted and gave him what I thought was a few dollars over what he asked for. He sounded overjoyed as I was giving it to him, but then indicated that what he needed was $7 more than what I gave him. I told him it was all I had at the moment, and he thanked me. I saw him again for the next couple days and smoking cigarettes outside, which made me wonder if that's what he wanted the money for. After that, I didn't see him again.

Now I always wonder if I did the right thing or not. Should I have given him more money? Should I not have given him any at all? I felt convicted to do it, and imagined at the time how I'd be able to face God if I turned away from a guy in a wheelchair who asked me for money to get back home. I remember reading that we're to not turn away from those who ask. But after giving him most of what he asked for, I now wonder if it was the right thing to do.
 
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yeshuaslavejeff

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QUOTE="Aldebaran, post: 73947724, member: 251418"]Couldn't those feelings be coming from the Holy Spirit convicting us to do something? For example, I had an experience recently at a public library where a black guy in a wheelchair stopped me and asked for a certain amount of money for a bus ticket to get back home. He said some things about being in the hospital after a suicide attempt and showed me a large scar on his leg. I didn't quite understand everything he said. Well, I felt convicted and gave him what I thought was a few dollars over what he asked for. He sounded overjoyed as I was giving it to him, but then indicated that what he needed was $7 more than what I gave him. I told him it was all I had at the moment, and he thanked me. I saw him again for the next couple days and smoking cigarettes outside, which made me wonder if that's what he wanted the money for. After that, I didn't see him again.

Now I always wonder if I did the right thing or not. Should I have given him more money? Should I not have given him any at all? I felt convicted to do it, and imagined at the time how I'd be able to face God if I turned away from a guy in a wheelchair who asked me for money to get back home. I remember reading that we're to not turn away from those who ask. But after giving him most of what he asked for, I now wonder if it was the right thing to do.[/QUOTE
============================================


In other places online (not on this forum/ site we are on) you might be able to
read (and God grant the understanding/ true knowledge) of
a good explanation of the difference (big difference) between
our feelings
vs
the leading of God.
From your own testimony in the post, you were tricked, and your conscience is showing you this, but because of confusing lessons in the past

your mind is not convinced yet, as of your post. ("now wonder if it was the right thing to do") ....... don't kick yourself over it, but seek and learn from God what is the truth about all things, especially His leading vs our feelings/emotions which are so futile and vain.
 
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quatona

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I am in college and on the weekends everyone goes into New Haven CT. I get dragged out every now and then. I know it's not christlike to be going to bars or go clubbing, but when i do i learn a-lot of lessons. Sometimes i will have homeless people ask me for money (there are alot of homeless people in downtown New Haven, especially at night) and i will give them money. Here's the thing, there is a big drug problem in that city, and its very common to see people high on heroin even during the day, and alot of homeless people get hooked on drugs. The other day i went to get pizza at night in the city, and i was waiting for an uber back to my campus, a woman came up to me and asked me if i had any money for pizza, she was a cancer patient at the nearby hospital. I had given her what money i had left. A few moments later a homeless man came up to me and asked me for money, i told him i didn't have any money left, and he kept insisting for him to take me to an atm. I went inside the pizzeria and asked to see the atm, but they told me not to give him any money because "these people are all on drugs". The owner ended up telling him to leave me alone and the guy left.

I felt bad because while the guy appeared to be drunk or have had substance abuse problems he is still a person.

the thing that i have been thinking about is the ethics of this, of what someone you give money too will spend it on. For example over the summer almost 100 people overdosed in the city in the span of 2 days.
More than 90 people overdosed on K2 in one New Haven park - CNN
I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them
I give whatever and whenever I am willing to give. What people do with my gifts is not within my control - which is fortunate since I don´t want to control their choices.
 
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Aldebaran

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QUOTE="Aldebaran, post: 73947724, member: 251418"]Couldn't those feelings be coming from the Holy Spirit convicting us to do something? For example, I had an experience recently at a public library where a black guy in a wheelchair stopped me and asked for a certain amount of money for a bus ticket to get back home. He said some things about being in the hospital after a suicide attempt and showed me a large scar on his leg. I didn't quite understand everything he said. Well, I felt convicted and gave him what I thought was a few dollars over what he asked for. He sounded overjoyed as I was giving it to him, but then indicated that what he needed was $7 more than what I gave him. I told him it was all I had at the moment, and he thanked me. I saw him again for the next couple days and smoking cigarettes outside, which made me wonder if that's what he wanted the money for. After that, I didn't see him again.

Now I always wonder if I did the right thing or not. Should I have given him more money? Should I not have given him any at all? I felt convicted to do it, and imagined at the time how I'd be able to face God if I turned away from a guy in a wheelchair who asked me for money to get back home. I remember reading that we're to not turn away from those who ask. But after giving him most of what he asked for, I now wonder if it was the right thing to do.[/QUOTE
============================================


In other places online (not on this forum/ site we are on) you might be able to
read (and God grant the understanding/ true knowledge) of
a good explanation of the difference (big difference) between
our feelings
vs
the leading of God.
From your own testimony in the post, you were tricked, and your conscience is showing you this, but because of confusing lessons in the past

your mind is not convinced yet, as of your post. ("now wonder if it was the right thing to do") ....... don't kick yourself over it, but seek and learn from God what is the truth about all things, especially His leading vs our feelings/emotions which are so futile and vain.

Whether I was tricked or not is unknown. Since I didn't give him the full amount of the bus ticket, it's possible he still never had gotten the amount he needed yet, and that would explain why he was still around. Feeling I had been tricked is common for me, since I always second-guess myself a lot. If I didn't give him the money at all, then I'd be feeling guilty that God had brought someone to me in need, and I looked away and refused him what he asked of me. So I gave him money and then wonder if I'd been tricked. Can't seem to win.
 
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OldWiseGuy

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I was asked for a handout for food once and I immediately hustled the guy to a nearby café and fed him. He could barely choke the food down as he really wanted a drink. After the meal I gave him five bucks and told him to have one on me.
 
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I am in college and on the weekends everyone goes into New Haven CT. I get dragged out every now and then. I know it's not christlike to be going to bars or go clubbing, but when i do i learn a-lot of lessons. Sometimes i will have homeless people ask me for money (there are alot of homeless people in downtown New Haven, especially at night) and i will give them money. Here's the thing, there is a big drug problem in that city, and its very common to see people high on heroin even during the day, and alot of homeless people get hooked on drugs. The other day i went to get pizza at night in the city, and i was waiting for an uber back to my campus, a woman came up to me and asked me if i had any money for pizza, she was a cancer patient at the nearby hospital. I had given her what money i had left. A few moments later a homeless man came up to me and asked me for money, i told him i didn't have any money left, and he kept insisting for him to take me to an atm. I went inside the pizzeria and asked to see the atm, but they told me not to give him any money because "these people are all on drugs". The owner ended up telling him to leave me alone and the guy left.

I felt bad because while the guy appeared to be drunk or have had substance abuse problems he is still a person.

the thing that i have been thinking about is the ethics of this, of what someone you give money too will spend it on. For example over the summer almost 100 people overdosed in the city in the span of 2 days.
More than 90 people overdosed on K2 in one New Haven park - CNN
I don't want to be the person that gives money to someone to buy the drug that will kill them, but it hurts seeing these people on the streets on the weekends while students mock and berate them

Never give money. Give food or clothing to those in real need but only exchange money for some sort of service. People need to have a sense of self worth as much as they need their belly filled or their back covered. If a person has earned the money you hand to them, they will feel uplifted and useful rather than feeling like a loser that cannot fend for themself.
 
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