It seems like kinda a silly, maybe mocking thread... but ok I'll bite...
I'm Baptist because I was raised in the Baptist Church, and my parents are Baptist, and my grandparents, and my great-grandparents, and on through the generations.
I'm still Baptist because my church is home and I love my church family and they love me.
As I've gotten older and learned things (maybe too much for my own good), there are things I don't agree with, things I struggle with, things I wonder about. I don't know if I'll remain Baptist in the long run. But for now, I'm Baptist because Baptist is home.