Hi kimanne,
First off I want to explain something. When I was growing up in church -- I come from an Evangelical church - I knew about and believed in speaking in tongues as well as healing and deliverance ministry. The term 'charismatic' slowly crept into my social circle as I grew older and I would say (to ppl) that I too was 'charismatic' simply because I speak in tongues. That is what it meant to me.
Then I come to Australia to study and see that the 'charismatic' churches are a little different.A church is not just charismatic just because you speak in tongues. There was more. They were quite 'emotional' and from my observation, the Bible teaching was shallow. I say this from having attended three charismatic churches. Of course this doesn't mean much as I haven't been to that many charismatic churches and no church is perfect. But I have bought a book -Vinson Synan (sp? - I think that's his name)on the charismatic movement to know more. I also went to Apologetics Index, a Christian website and read about some things which sounded dodgy to my ears. So now I won't say I am 'charismatic' because I don't want the people I am talking to, to have preconceived notions derived from their impressions of a charismatic church. I think it will suffice to say that I am a child of God and I do believe in the Acts 2 experience.
In my opinion, some churches (trend in charismatic) place more importance on experience than on the word of God. Some churches I have attended also gave me the impression that one has to be happy 24/7. Sometimes the members seemed very shallow because of their focus on all the joy , happiness and blessings in one's relationship with God. I didn't get a sense that I was talking to 'real' people.
Because people in some charismatic churches tend to focus on the joy of their relationship with God, they may seem very full on but have not indeed studied God's Word in depth. They may not have a whole picture of what Christianity is. I have, in the past, not relied on God's Word but man's word as well as 'experiences' and 'feelings'. I think I too painted an incomplete picture of Christianity when witnessing to others.
So I would say that perhaps some of the people you have encountered in the charismatic church do not really know the Bible and its teachings. They are happy, zealous, 'full on', passionate but they do not know fully what being a Christian is. That is why they may be showy and 'judgmantel'. Even in non charismatic churches there are people like that. However, because charismatic churches are less somber, you would see a lot more 'showiness'.
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Matthew 11
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Christian - child of God most High but also, a servant of God, just like Jesus our 'big brother' was a servant.
No showiness there at all!
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Anyways, all believers have the Holy Spirit in them to guide them and as zamar said about the gift of tongues:
The prayer language takes on many forms and changes from time to time. Just as a child's language changes and matures over time.
Like a language that matures over time, our spiritual growth too will mature over time. God will guide us and
Philippians 1
6.......he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. So, if it is God's will that you speak in tongues or exercise spiritual gifts, God will direct you on that path in due time. Aren't you glad that we can have confidence that God will carry to completion the work He has begun in us? I sure am! I know I can't do it on my own.
Praise God!