I've known this girl for about a year, and she's had feelings for me for about 9 months. We go to college together, and we're both 21 years old. Having just been a rebound for someone else, I decided not to date anyone for the first 5 months (last semester), just so I wouldn't inflict the same pain on someone else as was dealt to me. The beginning of this current semester I was still uncertain at first, but I finally went on a date with her a couple of weeks ago. We both enjoyed it. We were planning a second one this week, but then something happened Sunday night that really bothered me.
Sunday night was an event that I was a part of, and she decided to show up with her dad to support me. During this event, my dad was filming and photographing. It turns out that she and her father are extremely sensitive when it comes to photography (she most likely got it from her father). For some reason, as my father was taking photographs of the crowd and the performing group, they assumed that he was taking pictures of THEM specifically. In response, they left the event early, then texted me demanding that we delete all the pictures "we took of them." There ended up being only ONE picture of the crowd, where you'd have to zoom in very far to even see them, which I explained to the girl through text. She responded saying she didn't believe me. These things really bothered me.
Today she confessed her longtime feelings for me, but we ended up just remaining friends. It was a hard decision because I have started gaining a bit of feelings for her, and I know that she is a good, Christian girl. But after Sunday night I could not help but feel weird about us and uncertain. She did not apologize for Sunday night. Because I was uncertain, I just decided, with pain in my heart, to remain friends. She's such a genuine, kind person, and we have a lot of things in common. However, Sunday night was a real shock to me, and I was hurt. I feel terrible because I do care about her, and I know she must feel heartbroken.
I've really been praying for God to give both her and me comfort and clarity. I also trust that if it's God's plan for it to work out, then it will. It's just so hard in the mean time, you know?
Do you all think I made the right decision? How might I tell if God wants or does not want this relationship for us both?
TL;DR: I went on a date with a girl who's had feelings for me for a while now. I have been starting to gain feelings, but then Sunday night she and her father demonstrated somewhat disturbing behavior, accusing my father of photographing them without their permission, demanding the deletion of those pictures, and accusing me of lying when I attempted to explain that that was not the case. Today she confessed her longtime feelings for me, but because I was feeling uncertain, we decided to just remain friends. Did I make the right decision?
Ok first off, if you decided to remain 'friends', then you do not go on dates with them.
The purpose of dating, is to find a wife. You have no intention of marrying her, then you need to stop dating her. Someone else, someone who could be a wonderful wife to you, is not going to date you, if they see you going out with this other girl.
Just like if I was interested in some girl, and I saw her dating another guy, I would not be asking her out on a date.
You are harming your chance of find someone for you, by going out with someone who isn't for you.
So let me back up.... what she did, seems very strange to me.
This girl is a little strange, and has something wrong.
My view is, you made the right choice. This isn't the girl for you. She flew off the handle, made some bad comments, and wouldn't even allow you to prove your case before making these remarks.
Now let me address one last thing.
You asked :
"how might I tell if God wants or does not want this relationship for us both?"
I'm not real big on G-d giving people these jigsaw puzzles of endless subtle clues on what to do in life.
If G-d really wants you to do something, he'll let you know, and it will be clear and obvious.
Specifically as it relates to finding a wife, the Bible does not have instances where G-d directed someone to go and pick a specific wife. The Bible talks about searching, hunting, finding a good spouse.
In other words, G-d expects you to go and look, and consider, and make good choices. The obvious requirements are, be a Christian, and be a moral person. You should never date a pagan, under any circumstances.
But beyond that, the most baffling thing I see young people doing, is they marry someone, and then they have all these problems. You ask them.... "Did your spouse do that before you got married?" And I hear these answers like:
"Well yeah, but I thought.... that when we got married..... you know that...."
Listen.... dating is when you find out if the other person is crazy. When you marry, there is no magic, that makes them a wonderful spouse. What they are now, is likely what they will be in the future.
This girl is a little off.... If she's off now, and accusing you of lying and make demands.... when she just barely knows you.... then that is how she will be as a wife, only worse.
You have your answer. Move on. Find someone who isn't crazy.
That's my advice.