Don't use someone's loss to try and sell your religion

Kenny'sID · Apr 13, 2019

I'm sorry to hear about your dad, and Fire Dragons Uncle.

You actually got a look at the heart of those people as your door, and what you saw wasn't pretty.

Basil the Great · Apr 13, 2019

It seems like some folks forget about the Golden Rule and that is very sad, especially at a time of personal loss. You have my condolences by the way. My dad is up in years and not in good health, so I will be in your shoes one of these days in the not too distant future.

bèlla · Apr 13, 2019

ViaCrucis said:
So here's the thing--don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion.

I am sorry for your loss and the poor treatment you received. The absence of empathy and courtesy are the greater faults. I wish you and your loved ones the Lord's comfort during this difficult season. God bless.

Apologetic_Warrior · Apr 14, 2019

ViaCrucis said:
Wasn't exactly sure where to post this, but thought maybe some place like this might be most appropriate (mods feel free to move it or correct me if I'm wrong).

So here's the thing--don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion.

My dad passed away a couple weeks ago, and today we had the memorial. It was a small intimate service, very good. But that's only context.

A few minutes ago a couple of missionaries came to my door, and they were rather pleasant. No big deal, I'm usually cordial when missionaries come to my house, I try to be nice but also let them know that I am not interested in changing my religious affiliation. Today, being what it was, I figured I'd let them know that we had my dad's memorial earlier and that they would understand that maybe this wasn't the best time to try and offer their conversion offer. Good taste would seem to suggest that, maybe, just maybe, letting someone alone in such a circumstance might be regarded as general good manners.

Nope.

Apparently them hearing about my father's passing lit a little fire in their eyes, as they latched on to that as their gateway to try and hook me. That is to say, it seemed like perhaps they saw an opportunity to try and take advantage of someone in their vulnerability and grief. In the end I continued to have a cordial conversation, but as usual, respectfully told them that I wasn't interested in changing my religious affiliation.

But it just seemed like maybe the right time to remind us all: Don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion. Taking advantage of someone's vulnerability or emotional state to try and get them over to your religion is flagrantly disrespectful.

It's not that I'm angry--honestly I'm not. It's just that it compelled me to think about this. I've intentionally avoided saying what group these missionaries were from, because fundamentally that isn't important. What's important is the fact that it's not okay to try and manipulate, take advantage of, or use people's vulnerabilities and grief to sell anything. And that's a lesson that I think is worth being reminded of regardless of religion or, as the case may be, lack thereof.

/rant

-CryptoLutheran

Sounds to me like you were probably nicer and more gracious about it than I would have been. Finding as I get older I have less patience for out of the blue out of nowhere salesman tactics. I treat them the same as I treat phone calls from salespeople wanting to get to the financial information bit, I cut them off before it ever gets to that point with a quick *click* end of call. The only strangers (to me) I even allow in the house are people my wife invites, like someone she has met through work and got to know through work, and more often than not it is later discovered they have ulterior motives or something along those lines. But, sorry to hear about your great loss, may our Lord give you comfort, peace, and strength. God bless.

Presbyterian Continuist · Apr 14, 2019

ViaCrucis said:
Wasn't exactly sure where to post this, but thought maybe some place like this might be most appropriate (mods feel free to move it or correct me if I'm wrong).

So here's the thing--don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion.

My dad passed away a couple weeks ago, and today we had the memorial. It was a small intimate service, very good. But that's only context.

A few minutes ago a couple of missionaries came to my door, and they were rather pleasant. No big deal, I'm usually cordial when missionaries come to my house, I try to be nice but also let them know that I am not interested in changing my religious affiliation. Today, being what it was, I figured I'd let them know that we had my dad's memorial earlier and that they would understand that maybe this wasn't the best time to try and offer their conversion offer. Good taste would seem to suggest that, maybe, just maybe, letting someone alone in such a circumstance might be regarded as general good manners.

Nope.

Apparently them hearing about my father's passing lit a little fire in their eyes, as they latched on to that as their gateway to try and hook me. That is to say, it seemed like perhaps they saw an opportunity to try and take advantage of someone in their vulnerability and grief. In the end I continued to have a cordial conversation, but as usual, respectfully told them that I wasn't interested in changing my religious affiliation.

But it just seemed like maybe the right time to remind us all: Don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion. Taking advantage of someone's vulnerability or emotional state to try and get them over to your religion is flagrantly disrespectful.

It's not that I'm angry--honestly I'm not. It's just that it compelled me to think about this. I've intentionally avoided saying what group these missionaries were from, because fundamentally that isn't important. What's important is the fact that it's not okay to try and manipulate, take advantage of, or use people's vulnerabilities and grief to sell anything. And that's a lesson that I think is worth being reminded of regardless of religion or, as the case may be, lack thereof.

/rant

-CryptoLutheran

I agree with you. Arriving at your front door with an apple pie and saying, "Sorry for your loss" and then going away again would speak much more eloquently of true Christian kindness than all the preaching in the world.

JosephZ · Apr 14, 2019

ViaCrucis said:
Don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion. Taking advantage of someone's vulnerability or emotional state to try and get them over to your religion is flagrantly disrespectful.

First and foremost I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. You and your family will be in my prayers.

I agree with your statement 100%. In fact, I almost started a thread about this subject a few weeks ago, but decided not too because I felt it might be too controversial. That said, I'm glad that you had the courage to bring it up.

There are many missionaries here in the Philippines that exploit people's suffering in an effort to convert them and it's a disgusting practice.

In 2014 we had a large fire that razed the entire village that I serve in and it left the people with little more than the shirts on their backs. The very next day a group of about a dozen missionaries showed up with food and water for the people, but there was a catch. They had to first sit through the Jesus film in their native language, listen to an invitation to accept Christ, and only after this was the food and water distributed to them. We had another fire in this same community earlier this year, and once again, these same missionaries showed up with the same routine.

For over seven years I have been working in this community and I have only seen these particular missionaries there twice. Both times following a calamity.

So this raises a question; if these missionaries show up to try and convert these people to Christianity only after they have suffered great loss, do they really care about them at all?

I also wonder if the missionaries that showed up at your door would have ever knocked had your father not passed away? It's sad to think that there are missionaries out there combing through the obituaries looking for potential converts.

In much of the developing world missionaries that show up only in a person's time of need are known as "Soul Vultures." Vultures are known to be opportunistic and take advantage of vulnerable animals, so I find that to be a fitting term for these types of missionaries.

Apologetic_Warrior · Apr 14, 2019

Basil the Great said:
It seems like some folks forget about the Golden Rule and that is very sad, especially at a time of personal loss. You have my condolences by the way. My dad is up in years and not in good health, so I will be in your shoes one of these days in the not too distant future.

Same here, my dad is in his 70's, and I know it will be devastating, it's a source of constant concern mixed with fear...from about the age of 16, I became more of a daddy's boy, we worked together for many many many years. Him and my mom, have always been pillars in my life, I know it will be rough, and pray the Lord will prepare my heart and living situation when the time comes.

usexpat97 · Apr 14, 2019

Part of the issue is that a death in the family is almost never the right time, even with the best of intentions.

If the thought is that, in a time of grief over a death, your judgement is impaired and people shouldn't take advantage of that--then I say: that is actually when your judgement is NOT impaired. When you're caught up in this life--when you're getting into fistfights over Manchester United--THAT is when your judgement is impaired. Reflecting on how short life is, how important love is, and how we need best to use the time we have while we can; that is called thinking clearly.

Every time is always the "wrong time" and place to witness. I get annoyed by street preachers and have thought, "That is not the appropriate way to do it." But you know what? They're doing it. No reward in Heaven for being a critic. We must go forth fearlessly, make our mistakes, take our lumps. Learn from our mistakes, improve at it, critics be darned.

topher694 · Apr 14, 2019

ViaCrucis said:
Wasn't exactly sure where to post this, but thought maybe some place like this might be most appropriate (mods feel free to move it or correct me if I'm wrong).

So here's the thing--don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion.

My dad passed away a couple weeks ago, and today we had the memorial. It was a small intimate service, very good. But that's only context.

A few minutes ago a couple of missionaries came to my door, and they were rather pleasant. No big deal, I'm usually cordial when missionaries come to my house, I try to be nice but also let them know that I am not interested in changing my religious affiliation. Today, being what it was, I figured I'd let them know that we had my dad's memorial earlier and that they would understand that maybe this wasn't the best time to try and offer their conversion offer. Good taste would seem to suggest that, maybe, just maybe, letting someone alone in such a circumstance might be regarded as general good manners.

Nope.

Apparently them hearing about my father's passing lit a little fire in their eyes, as they latched on to that as their gateway to try and hook me. That is to say, it seemed like perhaps they saw an opportunity to try and take advantage of someone in their vulnerability and grief. In the end I continued to have a cordial conversation, but as usual, respectfully told them that I wasn't interested in changing my religious affiliation.

But it just seemed like maybe the right time to remind us all: Don't use someone's loss as a means of trying to sell your religion. Taking advantage of someone's vulnerability or emotional state to try and get them over to your religion is flagrantly disrespectful.

It's not that I'm angry--honestly I'm not. It's just that it compelled me to think about this. I've intentionally avoided saying what group these missionaries were from, because fundamentally that isn't important. What's important is the fact that it's not okay to try and manipulate, take advantage of, or use people's vulnerabilities and grief to sell anything. And that's a lesson that I think is worth being reminded of regardless of religion or, as the case may be, lack thereof.

/rant

-CryptoLutheran

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my father last summer 2 days before father's day, then had to preach on father's day. One of the hardest things I've ever done.

What some fail to realize (including some here apparently) is that witnessing is just as much about timing and respect as the message itself, perhaps even more so, because without proper timing and treating people with respect the message will at best be ignored, at worst resented.

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Don't use someone's loss to try and sell your religion

Kenny'sID

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Basil the Great

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bèlla

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Apologetic_Warrior

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Presbyterian Continuist

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JosephZ

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Apologetic_Warrior

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usexpat97

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topher694

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