- Dec 21, 2018
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- Eastern Orthodox
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I’m looking to become orthodox.
I have a very sinful past though.
After I was baptized, I heard a voice in my head to eat pages of the Bible. I did.
Shortly after, I became delusional and had a psychotic episode where I believed I was going to have Jesus (even though I was not a virgin or sexually active at the time)
There is more like believing that the end was near, speaking gibberish that I believed was tongues, practicing “occult” because I thought I was helping(I don’t know why), and thinking I was abducted by “angelic” aliens.
Turns out, I was diagnosed with bipolar 1/schizoaffective disorder.
I feel horrible about these things I did when I was mentally ill.
Sometimes I have a little voice (anxiety...not actual voices...those are terrifying) saying I’m going to hell because what I’ve done is unforgivable.
I’m scared to tell a priest straight out yet.
I just wanted to know an orthodox perspective.
Do you think i will never be forgiven?
I have so much guilt about this and I think about everyday and it happened over 6 years ago.
Any thoughts are most grateful.
I have a very sinful past though.
After I was baptized, I heard a voice in my head to eat pages of the Bible. I did.
Shortly after, I became delusional and had a psychotic episode where I believed I was going to have Jesus (even though I was not a virgin or sexually active at the time)
There is more like believing that the end was near, speaking gibberish that I believed was tongues, practicing “occult” because I thought I was helping(I don’t know why), and thinking I was abducted by “angelic” aliens.
Turns out, I was diagnosed with bipolar 1/schizoaffective disorder.
I feel horrible about these things I did when I was mentally ill.
Sometimes I have a little voice (anxiety...not actual voices...those are terrifying) saying I’m going to hell because what I’ve done is unforgivable.
I’m scared to tell a priest straight out yet.
I just wanted to know an orthodox perspective.
Do you think i will never be forgiven?
I have so much guilt about this and I think about everyday and it happened over 6 years ago.
Any thoughts are most grateful.
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