- Sep 30, 2016
- 1
- 3
- 34
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
For the longest time now,. I have been struggling faithfully, including with living a Christian life. I always find myself being lead astray and into sin. I have uncontrollable evil thoughts on a daily basis that say things like:
"F--- God!"
"You can never be saved"
"God will never hear you"
I honestly think I am evil also, because I have evil thoughts of killing people who anger and shame me. It feels like caught in the middle of a spiritual war within myself. I don't want to submit to evil and darkness. I want to be with Christ. I've accepted Christ into my heart. But sometimes, I think I can't be saved. I always fail every time.
Everyone at my church seem to not deal with these things. They say God speak to them. They are committed and they are strong faithful christians. Whenever I try to speak with them, including my pastor, they ignore it. My pastor seems annoyed by my struggle and never wants to speak about it. He's a good Christian and follows the scriptures. But he's not helpful. I love my church, but I hate myself for not being as strong. I hate myself period.
I don't know what to do. I want to truly accept Christ and be led by God. But I'm too weak, evil, and vain. How can I be saved? How can I stop this evil inside me? I feel so broken.
"F--- God!"
"You can never be saved"
"God will never hear you"
I honestly think I am evil also, because I have evil thoughts of killing people who anger and shame me. It feels like caught in the middle of a spiritual war within myself. I don't want to submit to evil and darkness. I want to be with Christ. I've accepted Christ into my heart. But sometimes, I think I can't be saved. I always fail every time.
Everyone at my church seem to not deal with these things. They say God speak to them. They are committed and they are strong faithful christians. Whenever I try to speak with them, including my pastor, they ignore it. My pastor seems annoyed by my struggle and never wants to speak about it. He's a good Christian and follows the scriptures. But he's not helpful. I love my church, but I hate myself for not being as strong. I hate myself period.
I don't know what to do. I want to truly accept Christ and be led by God. But I'm too weak, evil, and vain. How can I be saved? How can I stop this evil inside me? I feel so broken.