My boyfriend is Muslim and he is making me doubt my faith...
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mmksparbud
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You are very smart----not just about your decision---Do you know how long it took me to figure out how to multi-quote?----I am much too embarrassed to say!! Let's just say it was more than a year!!
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Ouch! You, my dear, most likely have dodged a huge bullet, and this guy just did you a very big favor by showing his colors now.
Sounds like you have a good attitude about it as well.
This is important for you to see; many Muslim men simply view the marriage relationship as "you will obey me in everything, or I will scream at you and hit you".
As oppsed to "my wife is my friend, and a blessing, worthy of my love and kindness, and my helper". It was good that you got out.
Yeah, and maybe you are immature and dumb. IT is wonderful that we have G-d that watches over all of us too dumb and too immature people! And he will still help us to avoid disaster in our lives!
Welcome back to the Family of G-d darling. We've been waiting for you
So proud of you! That took guts and you were very brave (and extremely smart, no matter what your ex says) to face this problem head on as you did. I was praying for you
Thank you everyone ^^ but guess what? As @dgiharris said he did come back... and it's 4:30 am so yeah ahah.. he said this:
"But we're being idiots and ignorant, both of us. I'm changing myself. I promise I'll make it like when your friends were not included. I promise to fix it. We're still too young."
I told him that I'm a Christian and I don't want to change, and the more we hold on the harder it is to let go so it's better to bring things off now then later. I feel so bad for him I'm resisting temptation ugh.
Then he said, "Everyone advice me to keep going. They said you're immature and I'm being too hard on you right now. They told me to give you time and keep going with the relationship. Because religion shouldn't split people who love eachother. Even if it didn't work out we'll be successful in our life at least, because we're trying so hard to meet each other. Now I want to know what you think about it. And they also tell you to think it on your own, because if you are giving chance to others to make decision for you then you're destroying your life. It's OK if you don't convert, it's OK if you don't want to change, but it's not OK to leave you like this. We're still young and we have a lot to learn. So forget religion for some time, and let's help each other to grow. Let's fix our mental health by supporting eachother. And let's work on our goals then we'll see what we have to do with religion. If you don't want to convert that's totally fine. I promise to not hurt you nor to get hurt or disappointed. What do you think about it?"
I said "But I don't understand.. what is the point of falling deeper in love with you if I'm not going to convert then get hurt even worse in the end..." I already told him its for the best and doesn't mean i don't love or care for him. I'm just saving us from greater pain and stress in the future. He's says I'm young and immature- exactly so why should I be in a relationship right now.. and he told me to make my own decisions but I already did...
He replied with, "Because you're still immature. And you're afraid to make your decision. If you grow up you can make a decision with reasoning. And yes that time it'd be final decision."
Then I told him I need to go for a while because my head hurt too much and yeah.. I'm very behind in school because I'm very very sick. So it's just a lot of stress and ugh... yeah...
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Dave G.
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Nika, our first love is Jesus Christ, when we came to Him ownership was transferred to Him. Jesus bought us for a price "to set us free", the price was His blood. You know this mans potential to undermine your walk with the Lord and your freedom. Consider God first before entering into relationships.
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Technically, there's nothing saying you can't be friends with someone who doesn't share your religion. But you have to consider the practicalities. He has a known history of messing with your mind and heart. He has demonstrated some very unhealthy attitudes toward you. The landscape is littered with the corpses of shattered relationships where the offending party promised to reform, but didn't.
And while you are free to have friends of a different religion, he may not be. The koran says not to befriend infidels, but to subjugate them.
Be very careful. The Bible tells us, in Proverbs, to 'guard your heart, for out of the heart come the issues of life'. And in 1 Corinthians Paul says we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. That makes us custodians of that temple, and we must not allow in anything profane to spoil it.
It's also ok to go on a relationship fast. You don't need to answer him right away. If he says you do that's simply more pressure. At very minimum, take a break, let the dust settle, get some perspective and get your head clear. You've already gotten a taste of how good peace, rest and self-respect are. Don't let go of that for anyone, especially someone so sick. It's not worth it.
edit: grammar is your friend.
And while you are free to have friends of a different religion, he may not be. The koran says not to befriend infidels, but to subjugate them.
Be very careful. The Bible tells us, in Proverbs, to 'guard your heart, for out of the heart come the issues of life'. And in 1 Corinthians Paul says we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. That makes us custodians of that temple, and we must not allow in anything profane to spoil it.
It's also ok to go on a relationship fast. You don't need to answer him right away. If he says you do that's simply more pressure. At very minimum, take a break, let the dust settle, get some perspective and get your head clear. You've already gotten a taste of how good peace, rest and self-respect are. Don't let go of that for anyone, especially someone so sick. It's not worth it.
edit: grammar is your friend.
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mmksparbud
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Ah, yes, the old I'll change. He said it all with this "So forget religion for some time, and let's help each other to grow." It still boils down to you forgetting your faith. Nothing has changed. He is still trying to control you and putting you down. You are the one that is too young and immature and you are allowing others to think for you. He wants to be the one to do that! I do hope you stick to your decision.
If you do, that does not mean you are out of the woods. We have a tendency to keep picking the same man over and over. My one niece has done it since she was 17. She is now 54 and we have all lost count of how many men she has shacked up with--they were all going to marry her. She moved in with them, and ended up a few years with them only to leave with nothing and have to start over again. She picked the same man, just the wrapping was different. They were all controlling, emotionally distant, self centered, and would put her down.
Don't choose the next one!! Make sure you have a strong relationship with God and let Him choose. He knows the heart. Marriage is difficult enough when we are chosen to be together by God. The very best of marriages will have their rough spots. So it is better when both know that God has chosen the other for you.
This guy will leave you alone when he finds another young thing he can more easily control. At one point he did say that it would be best to split for he sees you will not be obedient to him---that should tell you what to expect from him. He wants you obedient to his will. That is not love, that is not a marriage. A Christian marriage is 2 people who will serve each other. Who will put the benefit of the other first above their own, this guy will never do that. He is just giving you time to change your mind so things can get back to the way he wants!
forget religion for some time, and let's help each other to grow.
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Nika, please.. Just block this guy. Delete any apps you use to communicate with him. Change your e-mail. Keep the blooming door shut.
This guy will keep coming back, keep messing with your head and heart, and keep trying to pull you from Christ. You need to not be in a position to be in touch with him at all. This is very, very serious.
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I'm sure many of us, including the OP, saw that coming.
I think you might wan to make that decision final now while he's got his foot stuck in his mouth, and he can't argue.
Seriously, I'm afraid that if you give in now, that could be it for you in the long run. You seem pretty strong still, so hope you make the right decision because, if for no other reason, the bottom line is, you don't want to marry a non Christian, it's biblical. But even that could work out with some people, however, I don't think it would with this guy, not at all.
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The Faceless
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That you haven't blocked him is evidence that you're not willing to let go. Frankly I can't believe anyone is still bothering here.
Here's what Islam gets you: https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/03/27/as...hreads/has-any-democratic-politician.8108914/
Here's what Islam gets you: https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/03/27/as...hreads/has-any-democratic-politician.8108914/
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timothyu
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Exactly and good for you, but it was yours alone, and not a decision based on his say so as he wanted.
Consider that you are in your 17th year of life. A very short part of it has caused you this particular grief. Can you stand another 70 or so years of this without change? His mind is set on control. He has shown that even in his remorse. Your life is already at a point where one wrong turn could doom you to an unpleasant life. We were born to be happy, not make someone else happy at our expense. We just don't want to have you learn the hard way, but if that is your choice, so be it.
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The Faceless
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I haven't and nobody I know has. The "some Christians" terrible stuff is few and far between, and the anecdotal evidence some people present to depict others as better or the same as Christians doesn't sit well with me.
As an aside, even if you knew people that wanted to be like this, it isn't implemented at all anywhere from a Christian way, however the Islamic way is far spread and common.
However to be honest I KNOW OF Christians like this thanks to the internet.
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HeartenedHeart
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That is the greatest red-flag of all, for it comes straight from the devil, who is using this person, as a conduit, to eliminate you, from the relationship you need most, Jesus Christ.
It is not immature to see the truth of the matter. The immature one, is the one who is clingy. They are the unstable one.
A muslim will rarely change their religion, and will only wait and bait the Christian into giving up theirs, especially a male muslim and a female Christian, a terrible mixture, and I speak of those whom I know who went into that experience:
Listen to my good brother's testimony, whose father was Muslim and mother was Christian:
The issue of mixed relationships was warned about from the beginning (Islam is darkness, and anyone in that system is in darkness, even until now):
Follow what God said, and cut the relationship off (or unless you perish with it), and I will guarantee that person will immediately turn on you, and seek another. Profess Jesus Christ, and call upon His name for strength, make the decision, use the will God gave you, and make a clean separation:
See the following for comparison with the Genesis 6:2,4 KJB account:
See Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 24:3,37.
See Esau and Jacob in Genesis 26:34,35, 28:8,9 [comparing to Jacob in Genesis 27:46, 28:1,6 KJB], 36:2.
See Isaac and Jacob in Genesis 27:46, 28:1,6 KJB.
See Jacob and Hamor in Genesis 34:9,14 KJB.
See Moses in Exodus 34:15,16 KJB.
See in Deuteronomy 17:17 KJB.
See Balaam in Numbers 25:1,2,3 KJB.
See in Judges 3:5,6,7 KJB.
See Samson the Judge in Judges 14:1,2,3 KJB.
See the Chronicles in 1 Chronicles 5:24,25 KJB.
See Ezra in Ezra 9:1,2,11,12 KJB.
See Nehemiah in Nehemiah 9:2, 10:28,29,30, 13:23,25,26,27 KJB.
See Solomon in 1 Kings 11:1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 KJB.
Many “Sons of God” “looked”/“saw” [“saw the daughters of men that they [were] fair” and “took them wives of all which they chose” [Genesis 6:2 KJB]] and "beheld" [Just as did Samson, “she pleaseth me well”, or King David who went after Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite and his friend, through covetousness had Uriah killed in action “from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman [was] very beautiful to look upon” [2 Samuel 11:2, 12:9 KJB] and Solomon who “multiplied wives” and “loved many strange women” and all Israel who took of the “daughters of the land”], and then “lusted and coveted” and so were ensnared being “Vex[ed], Beguiled, To Commit Trespass Against The LORD, Commit Fornication, Eat things sacrificed unto Idols, worshipped idols” [Numbers 25:18, 31:16; Revelation 2:14 KJB]:
Jude 1:11 KJB - Woe unto them! for they have gone in the way of Cain, and ran greedily after the error of Balaam for reward, and perished in the gainsaying of Core.
See also the words of Jesus, as it was in the days of Noah and Lot:
Job 21:7,14, 22:15,16,17; Matthew 24:37,38; Luke 17:26,27; 2 Peter 2:5, 3:3,6.
In the greater overall picture there is a like message and call for the “people of God” also today to “come out” of “Spiritual Babylon” [just as God had done with physical Babylon; Jeremiah 51:9; Isaiah 52:11 KJB] that “great harlot” [Revelation 17:1, 19:2 KJB]:
See 2 Corinthians 6:14,15,16,17,18; Revelation 18:4 KJB.
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There is a wonderful descriptive term used in relationship's called "Gaslighting". It comes from some old play, but it means when another person makes someone question their sanity, so they can manipulate them. And well this guy is a gaslighter.
This is Satan's counter offer. This reminds me of what might have happened in some parallel universe were Eve, somehow did not eat the "Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil".... well at least the first time around.
(minutes later) Snake: Hey Eve, I'm so sorry I came off so strong. You don't have to eat the whole fruit. No, what I want you to do is just taste it, so you can see what your missing out on!
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I'm sure many of us, including the OP, saw that coming.
I think you might wan to make that decision final now while he's got his foot stuck in his mouth, and he can't argue.
Seriously, I'm afraid that if you give in now, that could be it for you in the long run. You seem pretty strong still, so hope you make the right decision because, if for no other reason, the bottom line is, you don't want to marry a non Christian, it's biblical. But even that could work out with some people, however, I don't think it would with this guy, not at all.
You all are so amazing, thank you so much for ththe support and encouragement. I talked to him because I felt bad for just leaving but after we talked I blocked him and asked some of my friends to take care of him ^^ again thank you all so much. I feel better and i can now focus on my goals and dreams.
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I'm sure many of us, including the OP, saw that coming.
I think you might wan to make that decision final now while he's got his foot stuck in his mouth, and he can't argue.
Seriously, I'm afraid that if you give in now, that could be it for you in the long run. You seem pretty strong still, so hope you make the right decision because, if for no other reason, the bottom line is, you don't want to marry a non Christian, it's biblical. But even that could work out with some people, however, I don't think it would with this guy, not at all.
Oh and I was going to ask... doyou think God would forgive me for sins? Because I've went against the bible a lot... not only this relationship but also depression and self harm and eating disorders like starving and such..
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mmksparbud
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He loves you so much He died for you. All you have to do is ask, believe He has forgiven you and turn away from that sin. Jesus forgave the adulteress woman, but He told her to not sin anymore. He wants you happy, healthy and wise! Hold on to Him, He'll hold on to you.
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