Catholics Only Difficulty choosing

Porpoise · Apr 3, 2019

So, confirmation is approaching, and I still have no idea who to choose as my confirmation saint. I've read about so many saints, but I just don't know if I feel drawn to any of them. How do I even begin to choose one? I mean, I think we're supposed to read about the saints and see if we find one we have something in common with, and then somehow something is supposed to just click and that saint goes from being one of many to being the one you want to choose as your confirmation saint. But what if that 'clicking', that moment where you know "this is the one" just doesn't happen? How do you make it happen?

Then again, I realize that even if I had a just-knowing experience, it might not mean it's the right choice. I mean, I had that feeling when I chose my car, and for a while I had no regrets, but nowadays I wonder if I should have chosen a different car. So I guess there's maybe no such thing as perfect or regret-free decisions. But I still have to decide somehow. And it's so hard when I feel like I'm not sure if I even have any recognizable leanings.

Unofficial Reverand Alex · Apr 3, 2019

I had a similar issue in my confirmation, where there were just too many saints to choose from! I ended up just looking up "Patron saint of _______" until I found something I liked; St. Albert the Great, patron saint of scientists. Still, I feel like I should've put more effort in, although when I recently started looking into St. Albert the Great more closely, he actually lines up with me a lot more than I would've thought 5 years ago when I chose him!

What are some of your passions? Some things you look for in a role model? Maybe if you put some things out here that you're looking for, someone here can go, "Oh, that reminds me of St. Someone!"

May God bless us all & everyone going through Confirmation & RCIA!

anna ~ grace · Apr 3, 2019

Are there any Saints you've especially admired or felt close to? Or been able to relate to?

Michie · Apr 3, 2019

For some weird reason I never got a confirmation saint. I keep thinking maybe the priest assumed my first name was my confirmation saint or something.

Porpoise · Apr 3, 2019

Unofficial Reverand Alex said:
What are some of your passions? Some things you look for in a role model? Maybe if you put some things out here that you're looking for, someone here can go, "Oh, that reminds me of St. Someone!"

I don't think I have any passions, which I think is because of my medical condition. I don't have the energy to do the things I used to be able to do when I was a kid. And I know a lot of saints had medical conditions but I don't think I want that to be my reason for choosing a saint. I don't want to be defined by my health.

Maybe someone I can learn a lot from might be good? A saint with writings I can read, so I can learn from them and get to know them better. For a while I thought I would choose St. Faustina when I was reading her diary. But for some reason I didn't pray for her intercession very often. So I thought maybe I wasn't drawn to her, maybe she wasn't the one I'm supposed to choose.

Michie · Apr 3, 2019

You could go into a Catholic bookstore or maybe even your library and find some books on various saints. I personally find Padre Pio fascinating. Venerable Fulton Sheen is on his way to sainthood. I tend to like them all but I think I prefer the more modern saints. They are easier for me to relate to. I have a series of books by Bob and Penny Lord about the lives of saints. Just short condensed stories. I believe the books were inspired by a series they used to have on EWTN.

MariaJLM · Apr 3, 2019

This can honestly be one of the most difficult aspects of converting to Christianity. We have a similar process in the Orthodox church. I was expected to choose a patron saint and there's just so many to choose from. I eventually settled on one whose story really resonated with me personally.

thecolorsblend · Apr 3, 2019

Porpoise said:
So, confirmation is approaching, and I still have no idea who to choose as my confirmation saint. I've read about so many saints, but I just don't know if I feel drawn to any of them. How do I even begin to choose one? I mean, I think we're supposed to read about the saints and see if we find one we have something in common with, and then somehow something is supposed to just click and that saint goes from being one of many to being the one you want to choose as your confirmation saint. But what if that 'clicking', that moment where you know "this is the one" just doesn't happen? How do you make it happen?

Then again, I realize that even if I had a just-knowing experience, it might not mean it's the right choice. I mean, I had that feeling when I chose my car, and for a while I had no regrets, but nowadays I wonder if I should have chosen a different car. So I guess there's maybe no such thing as perfect or regret-free decisions. But I still have to decide somehow. And it's so hard when I feel like I'm not sure if I even have any recognizable leanings.

When in doubt, you can use a name of one of the apostles. If you're a woman, nearly all of those names have feminized variants (Peter/Petra, John/Jane, Paul/Paula or Pauline, etc).

I wish I could offer something better than that. When I picked out my name, I used a nickname of mine I've had for years which, luckily, is also the name of at least two saints. I like the nickname, those saints seem pretty cool so I went with it.

I wish I had deeper, more philosophical motives than that but I didn't.

MariaJLM · Apr 3, 2019

thecolorsblend said:
When in doubt, you can use a name of one of the apostles. If you're a woman, nearly all of those names have feminized variants (Peter/Petra, John/Jane, Paul/Paula or Pauline, etc).

I wish I could offer something better than that. When I picked out my name, I used a nickname of mine I've had for years which, luckily, is also the name of at least two saints. I like the nickname, those saints seem pretty cool so I went with it.

I wish I had deeper, more philosophical motives than that but I didn't.

My given name is not Christian in origin at all so going off my own name was never an option for me. Maria, the name I use on here, is actually my baptismal name.

CradleRC58 · Apr 4, 2019

St Paul

He was a convert too

Stabat Mater dolorosa · Apr 4, 2019

Michie said:
For some weird reason I never got a confirmation saint. I keep thinking maybe the priest assumed my first name was my confirmation saint or something.

Same thing happened to me...

Stabat Mater dolorosa · Apr 4, 2019

MariaJLM said:
My given name is not Christian in origin at all so going off my own name was never an option for me. Maria, the name I use on here, is actually my baptismal name.

Maria is always a wise choice imho

I know of both men and women who's baptismal name is Maria. In Europe some men especially Catholics from Benelux even take it as a middle name legally as a tribute to the Theotokos.

As I said one could take it as a baptismal name even as a guy and its optional if one wants to make it a legal name in any way.

Mark_Sam · Apr 4, 2019

Michie said:
For some weird reason I never got a confirmation saint. I keep thinking maybe the priest assumed my first name was my confirmation saint or something.

Yes, same for me too. But I've allways had a devotion to St. Mark the Evangelist. However, I have 'informally' adopted St. Anthony Mary Claret as my confirmation saint, because his memorial was close to the date of my confirmation. I have even used "Anthony Mary" as a middle name when signing e-mails and less important documents. St. Anthony Mary Claret was a missionary who loved both our Lady and the Rosary, so it suits me.

A friend of mine, also an adult convert, was asked to pick a confirmation saint last minute. So he just picked the saint of that day, a holy woman, I think? Incidentally, this saint was also a patron saint of tobacco makers, and my friend is an avid snuff user. I cannot for the life of me recall the saint's name ... Both my friend and I have a fascination for patron saints of very mundane things. It is sort of an inside joke, but also shows a simple truth: God cares about all aspects of our life, even the very mundane stuff.

Unofficial Reverand Alex · Apr 4, 2019

Porpoise said:
I don't think I have any passions, which I think is because of my medical condition. I don't have the energy to do the things I used to be able to do when I was a kid. And I know a lot of saints had medical conditions but I don't think I want that to be my reason for choosing a saint. I don't want to be defined by my health.

Maybe someone I can learn a lot from might be good? A saint with writings I can read, so I can learn from them and get to know them better. For a while I thought I would choose St. Faustina when I was reading her diary. But for some reason I didn't pray for her intercession very often. So I thought maybe I wasn't drawn to her, maybe she wasn't the one I'm supposed to choose.

This might be an odd way to do it, but the saints are known for doing odd things:

If you really can't get anything, if picking a saint really is something of a hopeless cause, have you considered St. Jude?

Unofficial Reverand Alex · Apr 4, 2019

Have you looked at any articles online about how to choose a patron saint? Talking to a priest or parent or someone invested in the Church who knows you well would be really good, too.

I just looked up "How to pick a confirmation saint", and here's an article that gives some categories of saints to look at (I especially appreciate the category devoted to saints with names that will be hard for the bishop to pronounce!):
https://lifeteen.com/blog/biggest-best-list-confirmation-saints-guys-girls/

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