My boyfriend is Muslim and he is making me doubt my faith...

Justachristiangirl · Apr 2, 2019

mmksparbud said:
When you grow up like that, you do not learn "limits." If you grow up having to tolerate physical and verbal abuse, you are "programmed" to take it, you can't say no, you can't fight back. You end up allowing that behavior as an adult for you know nothing else and you don't know how to stop it. I grew up sexually abused--you end up programed, trained to give in to sexual advances. You have no idea how to say no, for that was not allowed. You end up doing the same thing as an adult. It took God to retrain my mind, to put Him first meant saying no to certain things and He gave me the power to do so. You will have to face the same trial again and again until you learn to put God first. He will not let you stay the same. It can take some time to learn how to break that training.

Pro_22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Unfortunately, this applies to good and bad training. You, working together with God, can break this. It can become a generational curse---the victim raises the children in the same environment they knew and so it passes on. Let God take you out of it first, then you will be able to pass on good behavior and attitudes to your children. He wants only what is good for you.

Pro_3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Deu_5:33 Ye shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you, and that ye may prolong your days in the land which ye shall possess.
This is the difference between real love and the fake. Real love seeks the good of the other, the fake seeks only their own. Whatever God asks us to do is for our own good.

Thank you so much.. you're right.. I was taught to tolerate the pain and not say a word. Just stay quite and deal with it... I hope I can get better ^^ thank you so much

Justachristiangirl · Apr 2, 2019

turkle said:
This is all so sad. You are very young and don't recognize that you are being manipulated and controlled by your "boyfriend". If you continue in this, this is what your life will look like, only worse.

Turn to your first love, the one who cares, loves and guides you. He will not force you to obey him (as your boyfriend is trying to do), but He is inviting you into a beautiful life with Him. You can either listen to the Lord who loves you, or your boyfriend who wants to control you for his own purposes. Control, bullying and manipulation are not love by any stretch of the imagination. I pray that you will choose wisely.

Thank you.. we are letting go don't worry ^^

Justachristiangirl · Apr 2, 2019

Loyce KG said:
Do you have access to a bible study group? If yes, go and listen as they share. Am praying for you sweetie. Don't let the enemy have a field day with you.

Thank you.. yes I do, but i havent been there in months and I'm scares to go..

mmksparbud · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
Thank you so much.. you're right.. I was taught to tolerate the pain and not say a word. Just stay quite and deal with it... I hope I can get better ^^ thank you so much

Hold on to Jesus. When He took abuse, it was for the faith, not as a feeble man unable to stand up for Himself---He could have called 10,000 angels---that does not translate to putting up with those around us being abusive.
Just be aware that in Muslim culture, a man has the right to do whatever he wants to women, that includes killing them if they have somehow dishonored him or the family. I have a cousin married to one---she barely got out alive. The marriage was total domination by him. It took her years to get out. She had to leave her children with him. She had no choice, the boys were trained to be like him and were starting to be abusive towards her also. She has cried buckets wishing she had never done this. She will never be without regrets now.
What pain you have now will heal---the pain you would go through, if you stayed, would take the rest of your life to get over--if ever.
God has a wonderful life for you if you would just live it His way.

timothyu · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
Yeah I want him to get better.. we talked and we decided that we need to find a way to let go and start improving ourselves.

It is like art, be it writing, painting or whatever. When one hits a roadblock the easiest solution is to do something else to open a mind stuck in a rut or unable to see what is in front of you. Don't stay in the tunnel looking for the light at it's end. Get out in the light. If tunnels are your thing, in the light you will see all sorts of them to explore.

timothyu · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
yes I do, but i havent been there in months and I'm scares to go.

Why? Because you are down on yourself or afraid they will be for who you were with? The right people won't judge.

Tolkien R.R.J · Apr 2, 2019

timothyu said:
The Pope today told Catholics to stop trying to convert people from other religions. He said it most always comes to an impasse. Applicable here from either side.

Good thing jesus and the disciples did not have that same attitude.

timothyu · Apr 2, 2019

Albion · Apr 2, 2019

unfinishedclay · Apr 2, 2019

Hi Nika, I've been reading some posts in this thread and want you to know I've been praying for you and continue. Praying that God provides you with tools and people to use toward strengthening you as well as Him giving you supernatural strength, that you leave that relationship (praying that young man's eyes to be opened with Christian men placed in his life to minister God's saving Word to him) and that God gives you a pathway full of wisdom on how to navigate on your journey to abide in Christ and His Word.

Justachristiangirl · Apr 2, 2019

unfinishedclay said:
Hi Nika, I've been reading some posts in this thread and want you to know I've been praying for you and continue. Praying that God provides you with tools and people to use toward strengthening you as well as Him giving you supernatural strength, that you leave that relationship (praying that young man's eyes to be opened with Christian men placed in his life to minister God's saving Word to him) and that God gives you a pathway full of wisdom on how to navigate on your journey to abide in Christ and His Word.

I really want to leave but I don't want to hurt him, the only reason I cry is because he gets hurt and I don't even care about my feelings.. I never did really and I don't want to see anyone in pain..

mmksparbud · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
I really want to leave but I don't want to hurt him, the only reason I cry is because he gets hurt and I don't even care about my feelings.. I never did really and I don't want to see anyone in pain..

You are the child of the Most High God---you are the temple He resides in. He cares about everyth8ng that affects His temple. He wants your mind clear, for that is how He can communicate with you, He wants your body clean and healthy so you can do everything you and He need to do. Do what is right by God and He will do right by you. If you would rather hurt God by going against what He says, your pain will increase and not heal. If you hurt this boy it will be only for a little while, then he can heal and so will you. Unless you realize how much you are hurting the heart of God, you will find it easier to hurt Him than anyone else. Jesus is crying over you right now and you would rather have Him cry than this boy. This boy is only 17---he has his life ahead of him and he will heal -- he will find someone else. And God has someone elkse He is getting ready for you---give Him the time He needs to work out your life for the best....do not settle for crumbs from the floor when you can sit at the banquet table!

mmksparbud · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
I really want to leave but I don't want to hurt him, the only reason I cry is because he gets hurt and I don't even care about my feelings.. I never did really and I don't want to see anyone in pain..

You have had the advice of many now---you know what the right thing to do is. Everything that can be said has been said---it is now up to you to decide. God awaits your decision. He will not force you, His pleading has been done through others. The choice is yours--do you want to hurt God or hurt this boy, do you want to love God or love this boy--are you going to settle for crumbs or the joy of parting in the Holy Supper of the Lord, you want something that will bring you joy, peace and happiness on a permanent level and eternal life afterwards, or a little joy with a whole lot of pain and suffering for the rest of your life and then the death of your soul? God will let you decide.

Deu_30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

It is time to stand up and make your choice.

mmksparbud · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
I really want to leave but I don't want to hurt him, the only reason I cry is because he gets hurt and I don't even care about my feelings.. I never did really and I don't want to see anyone in pain..

You've spent a great deal of time talking to this boy---have you spent at least as much time talking to God?

timothyu · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
I really want to leave but I don't want to hurt him, the only reason I cry is because he gets hurt and I don't even care about my feelings.. I never did really and I don't want to see anyone in pain..

Sorry. You are not helping him. You are refusing to let him grow. You are actually hurting him by preventing him from growing. That is not noble. Who knows what you both may grow into. Or are you afraid he might change. It's also about what you can do for more than just yourselves.

Justachristiangirl · Apr 2, 2019

mmksparbud said:
You are the child of the Most High God---you are the temple He resides in. He cares about everyth8ng that affects His temple. He wants your mind clear, for that is how He can communicate with you, He wants your body clean and healthy so you can do everything you and He need to do. Do what is right by God and He will do right by you. If you would rather hurt God by going against what He says, your pain will increase and not heal. If you hurt this boy it will be only for a little while, then he can heal and so will you. Unless you realize how much you are hurting the heart of God, you will find it easier to hurt Him than anyone else. Jesus is crying over you right now and you would rather have Him cry than this boy. This boy is only 17---he has his life ahead of him and he will heal -- he will find someone else. And God has someone elkse He is getting ready for you---give Him the time He needs to work out your life for the best....do not settle for crumbs from the floor when you can sit at the banquet table!

mmksparbud said:
You've spent a great deal of time talking to this boy---have you spent at least as much time talking to God?

timothyu said:
Sorry. You are not helping him. You are refusing to let him grow. You are actually hurting him by preventing him from growing. That is not noble. Who knows what you both may grow into. Or are you afraid he might change. It's also about what you can do for more than just yourselves.

un

Thank you.. I'm sorry for taking so long it's just very hard for me.. I never really stood up for myself in my life.. thank you, you're right i know what to do it's just up to me. Thank you for your advice and taking your time to talk to me ^^

mmksparbud · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
un

Thank you.. I'm sorry for taking so long it's just very hard for me.. I never really stood up for myself in my life.. thank you, you're right i know what to do it's just up to me. Thank you for your advice and taking your time to talk to me ^^

It's called growing up. You've placed yourself in an adult situation and now you have to act as one. Thankfully, God is all knowing and He wants you at your full potential. You are no longer a child at the mercy of grown ups--you are now a grown up--like it or not, ready or not. It's time to stand up and be who God intends you to be, a woman, strong and faithful to Him--or remain a helpless child led by others.

timothyu · Apr 2, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
I never really stood up for myself in my life.. thank you, you're right i know what to do it's just up to me.

Are you not proud to be a woman, to be in control of your life? Or would you rather play the millennia old role of subjugation. Women are strong. Has someone been lying to you?

Justachristiangirl · Apr 2, 2019

timothyu said:
Are you not proud to be a woman, to be in control of your life? Or would you rather play the millennia old role of subjugation. Women are strong. Has someone been lying to you?

Well my parents taught me to obey and that.. idk like everyone tells me that women standing up is stupid.. like.. the old times were better..

mmksparbud · Apr 3, 2019

Nika Yermakova said:
Well my parents taught me to obey and that.. idk like everyone tells me that women standing up is stupid.. like.. the old times were better..

Better for men, certainly not for women!!!And it is right to obey your parents---as long as what they ask is in agreement with what God says to do. Your boyfriend is not your father! Obedience is to God first!

My boyfriend is Muslim and he is making me doubt my faith...

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