Tell me what you think of these lyrics I wrote!

AllDayFaith said:

Ouch

Click to expand...

AllDayFaith said:

Titled: Answer My Prayers
Chorus:
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love

Verse 1:
Sometimes it hurts to suffer this way
I need a light for the night, a way through the day
God is all I need to get through the tough times
He is the reason I got the dope rhymes
I couldn't imagine life without the Father
Maybe one day He will bless me with a daughter
Please hear me when I pray today
Help me understand how you do things your way

Chorus:
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love

Bridge:
Don't forsake me
Need you to shake me
Please don't mistake me
I trust your authority

Chorus:
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love

Verse 2:
I will magnify your name throughout the day
Regardless of whatever the enemies say
I offer my life as a pleasing aroma to the Lord
I hope this song hits the right chord
I will wait patiently till the day He arrives
I need nothing as long as God is my supply
He provides everything I could possibly need
I pray my faith grows from this seed

Chorus:
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love
I know you hear me when I cry
I will never understand why
God does the things that He does
But I trust that He covers us with love

Click to expand...

usexpat97 said:

Where are you hoping to go with this song? You have paid attention to rhyme, meter, all that. But what sets you apart?

"Lord answer my prayer
Sometimes you don't
Yet I will still trust you either way."

It's already been done. Need some edge. Need weird. Such as the song "Smell the Color Nine"; now that's weird. Or just off the top of my head,

"My body is a glass temple.
I feel like if anyone threw a rock
It would shatter."

Okay, I'm not so good with the meter. But it's different, you know?

Click to expand...