Is it Normal to be Depressed and Unhappy in the Christian Walk?

ace of hearts

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Hi, I just want to know if there is something wrong with me spiritually and what I should do, or if this is a normal thing. I've been a Christian for two years now, but I have noticed the last year or so, I've forgotten what the feeling of happiness feels like and I've just been very depressed. When I first found Jesus, I was very happy and I've never been happier in my life... That was in 2017 when I first got saved, everything went well. But then in 2018 I started getting depressed and unhappy when I started to take my walk with God more serious. I feel like I'm not enjoying life as much as I once did. For example, I used to enjoy making music but it was secular music and it was a way to release my creative energy. But then I realized after I was saved I should use my musical talents for the Lord, and what makes me sad is I'm not able to and I have a hard time making gospel music. It depresses me I can't make secular music anymore as that's what I'm good at (about life, love, relationships, and other secular topics). I would love to write gospel songs that glorify Jesus but I am bad at it and have not ideas so now I can't even make music which I really love.

Next, I can't really do fun things anymore that I used to like. God has convicted me to stay away from certain things and people so no more going to the club and all that. I can't be interested in things that aren't of God like I liked watching different YouTube videos, movies, TV Shows, and I can't do that anymore either. Life just feels... boring and not as fulfilling. You can yell at me all you want for saying this but I'm speaking straight from the heart in how I feel and I'm honest with you. God should be enough, he is the most high, but why don't I feel that way? Why do I feel like something is missing and this constant emptiness and consistent feeling of depression and unhappiness?

Is this normal and healthy? Like the bible says to forsake your flesh and pick up your cross, so maybe you won't be as happy as you once was when you were of the world? Maybe this is the price we have to pay and a normal thing in order to get eternal life? Don't get me wrong, I would never want my old life back because God was absent and that's the worst. I just wish I had the old happiness back. I know scripture says we should have joy in God alone, and not focus on our feelings. But is this normal and common what I'm feeling or is something wrong? I should also note another struggle I face is anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and I am on the autism spectrum. I deal with a lot, but I always thought having God in my life would make it easier to deal with but it just feels even more hard now for these things... It just feels like ever since I became a Christian life got tougher, my struggles got more difficult to deal with, and I've become a lot less happy. Is this normal or is something wrong and if so what do I do, where do I go from here to get that happiness I had when I first got saved, the feeling of "the first love" back? I was praying hard and I was obeying God as best I could but I still have that burden, I don't know if it's a healthy burden of picking up and carrying the cross or not.
Sounds like to me you're in an abusive religious church that promotes holy legalism, maybe from both the bully pulpit and the congregation. I've been in such churches. Very debilitating indeed. I've been told I couldn't even have a well paying job. Religious legalism is very, no extremely depressing.
 
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DM25

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Great to hear you're feeling better now. Brethren, you can't compare your situation with Job's. He lost all his kids, his wealth, everything and was also afflicted with sores on his body that made him smell awfully. He was a pitiable sight even his spouse told him to curse God and die instead of live but he said, "although He slay me yet will I still serve the Lord". Job's problem wasn't boredom, he was afflicted by the devil. I'm sure you're not experiencing what Job went through, if Job had to live through boredom alone I'm sure he would have done with wholeheartedly.

God bless you brethren.
No offense, but you don't know me, my past, what I've been through, and the things I'm struggling with. Please don't tell me I can't compare my situation to Job. The book of Job is in scripture for people like me, and everyone else who is facing what I am. Whether that's depression or any mental illness or suffering, that is ABSOLUTELY comparable to Job and the lesson is to keep having faith. So you are wrong there. Don't say these kinds of things to people you don't know or when you don't know the situation fully. God bless you.
 
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DM25

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You can lead a horse to water...

So, describe your love for God. What do you think it means to love Him, exactly?



As I already pointed out in my last post, people try to live the Christian life for reasons that have nothing to do with loving God. Being concerned about the things you've shared, then, by no means demonstrates that you really do love God. Fear, guilt, religious piety, obligation - these all may subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) usurp the place of love in walking with God.



Job had far, far greater cause to protest his condition than you do. And even still, his protests were remarkably restrained. Your quickness to complain suggests a significant difference between Job's walk with God and your own. And in any case, Job was roundly rebuked by God for his complaining and questioning of Him.



Knowing on what basis you're saved is no guarantee against adopting wrong motives for walking with God.



Many Christians suffer from depression because they don't know how to walk properly with their Maker. The fruit of the Spirit does not include depression. Loving Christ does not make one begrudging and miserable.



The devil attacks us no more than God permits him to. And even when he does, he cannot cut off the believer from the comfort and joy that comes from knowing and loving
Christ.

Sometimes, injury and disease can affect the brain's chemistry, as can the thoughts and attitudes one harbors. I suspect that much of what causes depression among believers is the latter, not the former. The good news is that the brain is incredibly plastic and can be changed toward a positive chemistry just as it can toward a negative chemistry. Loving God has an enormous role to play in this regard.
I disagree. I think the closer you get to God, the more the devil attacks. Of course God lets him, he tests everyone's faith. But I know first hand the devil hates when people get closer to God and wants you back to where you were before God. Our war is constant with the enemy and demonic forces. If everything is right all the time there is probably something wrong like someone said. Sometimes the problem is in us too though. I am good at discerning this and I think mainly what I am going through right now is a struggle within, and those chemical imbalances in the brain also may play a role. But anyway, I will do my best to focus on God and good things. I think I just need to change my way of thinking, and learn to trust God more.

I'm starting to learn to be okay where I'm at, and be content with God. God never promises happiness, but he promises joy in him, and that's important. I don't need to be happy with myself or content with life, but I do need to be content with God. My focus needs to be on the joy of the gospel, because in whatever season I am in, at least I can get joy in God. By doing this and keeping my focus on God, I can even forget about my problems and they can seem insignificant.
 
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NeedyFollower

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Hi, I just want to know if there is something wrong with me spiritually and what I should do, or if this is a normal thing. I've been a Christian for two years now, but I have noticed the last year or so, I've forgotten what the feeling of happiness feels like and I've just been very depressed. When I first found Jesus, I was very happy and I've never been happier in my life... That was in 2017 when I first got saved, everything went well. But then in 2018 I started getting depressed and unhappy when I started to take my walk with God more serious. I feel like I'm not enjoying life as much as I once did. For example, I used to enjoy making music but it was secular music and it was a way to release my creative energy. But then I realized after I was saved I should use my musical talents for the Lord, and what makes me sad is I'm not able to and I have a hard time making gospel music. It depresses me I can't make secular music anymore as that's what I'm good at (about life, love, relationships, and other secular topics). I would love to write gospel songs that glorify Jesus but I am bad at it and have not ideas so now I can't even make music which I really love.

Next, I can't really do fun things anymore that I used to like. God has convicted me to stay away from certain things and people so no more going to the club and all that. I can't be interested in things that aren't of God like I liked watching different YouTube videos, movies, TV Shows, and I can't do that anymore either. Life just feels... boring and not as fulfilling. You can yell at me all you want for saying this but I'm speaking straight from the heart in how I feel and I'm honest with you. God should be enough, he is the most high, but why don't I feel that way? Why do I feel like something is missing and this constant emptiness and consistent feeling of depression and unhappiness?

Is this normal and healthy? Like the bible says to forsake your flesh and pick up your cross, so maybe you won't be as happy as you once was when you were of the world? Maybe this is the price we have to pay and a normal thing in order to get eternal life? Don't get me wrong, I would never want my old life back because God was absent and that's the worst. I just wish I had the old happiness back. I know scripture says we should have joy in God alone, and not focus on our feelings. But is this normal and common what I'm feeling or is something wrong? I should also note another struggle I face is anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and I am on the autism spectrum. I deal with a lot, but I always thought having God in my life would make it easier to deal with but it just feels even more hard now for these things... It just feels like ever since I became a Christian life got tougher, my struggles got more difficult to deal with, and I've become a lot less happy. Is this normal or is something wrong and if so what do I do, where do I go from here to get that happiness I had when I first got saved, the feeling of "the first love" back? I was praying hard and I was obeying God as best I could but I still have that burden, I don't know if it's a healthy burden of picking up and carrying the cross or not.
Hi Brother ..I agree with the sister that said that you are now experiencing the pain and sadness of Our Father through and by the Holy Spirit of His Son . ( Jesus wept ) Jeremiah was the weeping prophet and in Ezekiel 9:4 one of the angels are told to go and mark on the forehead all of those who sigh and groan over all the abominations that are being committed .
Before I was a student/follower of Jesus Christ , I had much worldly happiness ...I was known as upbeat , positive , a people person , etc. but when the Lord came and found me and renewed me , I became concerned ...prior to that I had no concern other than for my own happiness ( and I was good at fulfilling it . ).. I was also a musician . (I no longer write nor play music ...too tempting to seek the applause and praise of man . ) Remember it was said of Moses that he forsook the pleasures of sin for a season and suffered with the children of Israel . And Paul said , I tell you now even weeping that they are the enemies of the cross of christ , etc. .....Paul cared deeply ...he wept . Elsewhere Paul said I tell you the truth and lie not , I have continually anguish in my heart for my kinsmen after the flesh ( Israel ) .

No brother ...being alive hurts ...love hurts ..because we care . Some maybe never reach that point in their walk ..I do not know . But when our eyes are opened to what God's will is in contrast to what we see ...how can one do anything but be grieved ? I do have joy but it is mixed with sorrow .
 
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DM25

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You'll have to forgive the 'get off your butt and find something to do' crowd.
I forgive them. :) I appreciate all of you who replied to my post. Even if I don't necessarily agree with some stuff. It's still nice of you all and it means a lot.
 
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aiki

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I disagree. I think the closer you get to God, the more the devil attacks. Of course God lets him, he tests everyone's faith. But I know first hand the devil hates when people get closer to God and wants you back to where you were before God.

Where do find what you've written here in Scripture? Where is it said in the Bible that the closer you get to God, the more the devil may attack you?

Whenever the devil attacks he is always ultimately fulfilling God's purposes. The devil's attacks test us and reveal our weaknesses; his attacks dismantle the illusions we may create about where we're really at with God; his attacks press us to God and cause us to learn to wage spiritual warfare effectively. In all of these things, God is at work, moving deeper and deeper into fellowship with Himself. It must be very frustrating for the devil to see his efforts bent to serving God's purposes.

Our war is constant with the enemy and demonic forces.

We must stand, yes. And having done all to stand. (Ephesians 6:11-13) This is our "war." We aren't to overrun the devil; we aren't to walk up and punch his demons in the face; we aren't to knock down the doors of his strongholds and throw him out. No, we stand. We stand in the victory over the devil that Jesus has already won for us; we stand in the truth of who we are in Christ; we stand in the power of the Holy Spirit, clothed in the spiritual armor God has given to us; we stand upon the divine promises made to us by which we are made partakers of God's divine nature. And when we do, when we stand as we are told to do, God works in and through us to expose and cast down the works of darkness.

If everything is right all the time there is probably something wrong like someone said.

It is our love for God born of His love for us that carries us with joy and peace through the times when everything is not all right. It is not God's will that we should endure difficulty with depressed spirits and begrudging sourness. Not when He is on our side and working all things together for good.

But anyway, I will do my best to focus on God and good things. I think I just need to change my way of thinking, and learn to trust God more.

Trust and love go hand-in-hand. And you are correct: the best thing you can do in the face of life's inevitable trials is to "look unto Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of your faith." (Hebrews 12:2-3)

I'm starting to learn to be okay where I'm at, and be content with God. God never promises happiness, but he promises joy in him, and that's important.

Amen. And that joy is the by-product of His love for us and our love of Him. You cannot be truly content nor truly joyful in life without first loving God as the First and Great Commandment commands.

I don't need to be happy with myself or content with life, but I do need to be content with God.

The two things are related. It is far more likely you will be content with who you are and your circumstances when you are content in God. When He is all you need, when He is fully satisfying, everything else ceases to be as crucial and important as we often tend to think it is.

Hebrews 13:5
5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
 
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DM25

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Where do find what you've written here in Scripture? Where is it said in the Bible that the closer you get to God, the more the devil may attack you?
It's basic logic and common sense and it is found all over the bible. And also what I have experienced in my own life. The devil doesn't attack unbelievers hard because he has them where he wants. He is jealous and hates Christians. He attacks those who are closest to God, the closer you get to God the more he will attack you.
 
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DM25

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Where do find what you've written
The two things are related. It is far more likely you will be content with who you are and your circumstances when you are content in God. When He is all you need, when He is fully satisfying, everything else ceases to be as crucial and important as we often tend to think it is.
No it is not related. God never promises a happy life in this life. To be content with oneself looks inward. If you look inward, you will get depressed. We are all wicked people in need of a saviour. Joy and happiness are two different things. You need to be content and have joy in God, not yourself... They are not related at all. When you realize that you will love God more, when you stop focusing on your feelings and how you feel about yourself. Feelings lie, truth doesn't. When you have joy in GOD, then you end up forgetting how you are feeling with yourself. Keeping the focus on Jesus helps a lot.
 
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DM25

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So the rest of the non-Christian world is free of it's influence?
No, I never said that. The whole world is tainted by satan's influence... But I'm specifically saying "attacks" not influence. Big difference because as believers we don't need to be influenced by the devil, we can rebuke him in Jesus name whenever we want, but we can still receive his attacks. Unbelievers are under his influence but don't care because they don't even think he exists, so he doesn't waste as much time attacking them because they are right where he wants them. People forget satan is a free willed being. God has complete authority in the end of the day but satan still has free will like us humans.
 
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Josephus

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Not always. It could be spiritual but we live in a fallen world so sometimes it could be physical too or the two go hand in hand. But lack of faith is not always the cause.

Actually, a lack of trusting in G-d, at some level, is always present in a person who's depressed. Always. The antidote is just as simple: praising G-d which leads to greater trust in Him. Guaranteed 100% effective, but it requires complete surrender to G-d, which a depressed person is not yet doing.

I know this sounds so... holier than thou. I've been accused of such. But the spiritual reality and advice above has been true 100% of the time in my life, and I've faced depression, and anxiety, to where I was also prescribed meds for it (it's so easily done these days isn't it?). Meds are only a band-aid (and in my case it landed me in the ER). I speak from experience. The root has always been a lack of trust in G-d at some level, whether it be in total, or unexplained, or a specific thing in my life I've been upset about.

My life changed around when I started thanking G-d for the troubles I was facing - realizing that they too served a great purpose in my life to get me to repent, and/or draw me closer to G-d. Even realizing I needed to repent of lack of faith in G-d that everything happens is from G-d, and is for the very best. The sooner I realized this, and did so, the sooner those situations completely turned around.

In fact, I am going through this right now for another situation as I write this (hence why I even posted a request for prayer a while back that I've not yet posted an update to). Maybe by me sharing this, I'll be able to help others, and perhaps as a result I'll see the break through I've been praying for.
 
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aiki

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It's basic logic and common sense and it is found all over the bible.

So, Scripture doesn't actually teach the idea that the devil attacks hardest those who go deepest with God. Can you give me an example from Scripture of the devil going harder at folks who are walking well with God?

He attacks those who are closest to God, the closer you get to God the more he will attack you.

This is a popular notion among modern believers, but that doesn't make it true. The devil can't just attack believers as he likes. The only time he may do so is when God has a purpose in allowing him to do so. I can think of many saints of Scripture who didn't suffer the sorts of devilish attacks that, say, Job did. Of course, life has its inevitable hardships and it might be tempting to lay these hardships at the devil's feet, but doing so is often the consequence of assumption rather than fact.

God never promises a happy life in this life.

No, but he does promise a joyful, peaceful satisfying life in Him. He is what causes such things in His children, not their circumstances.

To be content with oneself looks inward.

If one never looks inward, one cannot judge one's self. In any case, I am content with myself because I am in Christ. How about you?

Joy and happiness are two different things. You need to be content and have joy in God, not yourself... They are not related at all. When you realize that you will love God more, when you stop focusing on your feelings and how you feel about yourself. Feelings lie, truth doesn't. When you have joy in GOD, then you end up forgetting how you are feeling with yourself. Keeping the focus on Jesus helps a lot.

Right. This is, more or less, what I've pointed out in my last post to you. Glad to see we are in agreement.
 
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DM25

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No, but he does promise a joyful, peaceful satisfying life in Him. He is what causes such things in His children, not their circumstances.
Yes I agree, joy in him, and life in him, even if we are not "happy" or don't have a smooth life. One can suffer from mental illness like depression for the rest of their life and not have anything spiritually wrong with them but be able to function because he is looking to God and having joy in that, despite their circumstance and not feeling good inside.

If one never looks inward, one cannot judge one's self. In any case, I am content with myself because I am in Christ. How about you?
We shouldn't look inward but we should look towards Christ. If you look inward and examine yourself all the time, you will lose focus on Jesus.

If you look out at the world, you will be in distress
If you look inside yourself, you will be depressed
If you look to Jesus, you will have rest...
 
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DM25

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Actually, a lack of trusting in G-d, at some level, is always present in a person who's depressed. Always. The antidote is just as simple: praising G-d which leads to greater trust in Him. Guaranteed 100% effective, but it requires complete surrender to G-d, which a depressed person is not yet doing.

I know this sounds so... holier than thou. I've been accused of such. But the spiritual reality and advice above has been true 100% of the time in my life, and I've faced depression, and anxiety, to where I was also prescribed meds for it (it's so easily done these days isn't it?). Meds are only a band-aid (and in my case it landed me in the ER). I speak from experience. The root has always been a lack of trust in G-d at some level, whether it be in total, or unexplained, or a specific thing in my life I've been upset about.

My life changed around when I started thanking G-d for the troubles I was facing - realizing that they too served a great purpose in my life to get me to repent, and/or draw me closer to G-d. Even realizing I needed to repent of lack of faith in G-d that everything happens is from G-d, and is for the very best. The sooner I realized this, and did so, the sooner those situations completely turned around.

In fact, I am going through this right now for another situation as I write this (hence why I even posted a request for prayer a while back that I've not yet posted an update to).
That is simply incorrect. Mental illness such as depression does not always have to do with faith or trust at all... It can very well be physical and brain chemicals. So would you say someone who was born without an arm, or gone through an accident and lost a leg that they don't have trust and faith in God? That's absolutely wrong. We live in a fallen world, with both physical and mental impairments. This is both biblical and scientific. Mental illness is no different than physical illness, and saying it is simply goes against science and logic. You have to get over this presumption and remember we live in a fallen world... People are born with a ton of defects. You don't think things in the brain can affect someone's mood? You believe it always has to be something spiritual? That is simply false and not even scientific man...
 
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timothyu

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But I'm specifically saying "attacks" not influence.
Ok understood. Now substitute attacks for influence in my statement.

BTW trust me I know of chemical imbalances having had a wife who suffered as bi-polar and paranoid schizophrenic. She could hardly take personal blame for something done she had no control over any more than someone with Parkinson's should be blamed for spilling a glass of water. The thought of having no control over actions scares the beep out of people so they delude themselves into thinking it just doesn't happen.
 
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Josephus

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That is simply incorrect. Mental illness such as depression does not always have to do with faith or trust at all... It can very well be physical and brain chemicals. So would you say someone who was born without an arm, or gone through an accident and lost a leg that they don't have trust and faith in God? That's absolutely wrong. We live in a fallen world, with both physical and mental impairments. This is both biblical and scientific. Mental illness is no different than physical illness, and saying it is simply goes against science and logic. You have to get over this presumption and remember we live in a fallen world... People are born with a ton of defects. You don't think things in the brain can affect someone's mood? You believe it always has to be something spiritual? That is simply false and not even scientific man...

If you read a few posts before this one (#50), I said that "All calamaties, as well as miracles, have natural causes and explanations." This includes depression. However I also said that "the root is always spiritually linked. Not until the root is dealt with, is there a permanent fix." The root spiritual cause of depression is a lack of emunah... or faith in G-d's total sovereignty of good in every moment in one's life. As I said, this can easily be proven in that one who is actively praising G-d and thanking him for their lot in life, is one who is not depressed. Guaranteed. It's a testable and provable claim. From extreme postpartum depression, to a mental condition prone to depression, to the temporary depression the average person can go through, the depression itself is rooted, and cured, at this point.

If one is finding it challenging to praise G-d for their lot in life, and to place their trust in G-d that all things happen for their good, including their depression, then chemical band-aids are better than nothing.

However if one can start by saying "Thank you G-d that I'm depressed! For I know it brings me to the ultimate test in my life to trust you, and to see you work in my life, even though I feel like you're not even there. Please help me to trust you. Thank you for all the good you've done in my life, and are doing. Please help me see the many thousands of small and 'insigificant' miracles that you do for me each and every day of my life, proving to me that you still have a plan for me, that you still think about me, that you are still there for me, even when I feel like I'm totally alone. Please show me why I am depressed, so I can put my faith and trust in you in that area. I praise you G-d for you are good, all the time, to me, that you know what's best, that you have me in a place and state right now that is best for me. If there are things I need to change to get to the next place you have for me, please show me, please open the door, and I will walk through it with joy, knowing that no matter what it is, I can rejoice that you love me, and that you only have my best in mind." - if one can start saying that, they will find that this is a far better response than immediately turning to medication, since saying such above only increases in sincerity as one realizing just how good G-d is, and truly how much we can (and should) trust him).

The interesting thing is, once the root spiritual cause is dealt with, the cure most likely is either a complete miracle without a natural explanation, or is cured via a natural explanation (ie a drug or other therapy). However, when the spiritual root is resolved, most often the cure is miraculously sudden and usually permanent unless G-d intends for them to be tested again. But hopefully building on the previous test, they get stronger and stronger until they overcome and are no longer depressed in life, no matter the situation.

In the meantime, people looking only for natural causes will receive only natural results - and such results are always temporary, since this world is temporary. G-d wants us to realize that the challenges in life that we face, are meant to grow us spiritually. This is true for every. single. challenge. Let us not waste the tests in life that G-d gives us by failing them every time they come by ignoring them as tests.

Shalom
 
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No offense, but you don't know me, my past, what I've been through, and the things I'm struggling with. Please don't tell me I can't compare my situation to Job. The book of Job is in scripture for people like me, and everyone else who is facing what I am. Whether that's depression or any mental illness or suffering, that is ABSOLUTELY comparable to Job and the lesson is to keep having faith. So you are wrong there. Don't say these kinds of things to people you don't know or when you don't know the situation fully. God bless you.


I used the information you posted to respond. You didn't post anything close to what Job had gone through. I'm sorry if this hurts but you didn't mention anything close to Job's predicament. I pray you never go through it. I totally agree with you on keeping faith, God bless you
 
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