Marriage

EmmaCat · Mar 1, 2019

It's so odd sometimes being married. It's like all of a sudden your brain gets tweaked and you worry about the craziest things!

I'm married to a cop. I worry about the lunch I packed for him. Is it good enough? So far he loves the lunches (or dinners, depending upon his schedule) I fix. He has this huge insulated lunchbox thingy so I fill it up.

Then I worry, is the house clean enough? Gosh, I hope so. So far no complaints, and he helps clean and takes out the trash.

I asked him if I snore. He said, "Heck if I know." Wow, got away with that! Maybe he's too tired to notice.

It seems when you get married, nothing matters but him and his surroundings and all. Yet he's always asking if I'm happy.

Now that's odd. I'm married to a wonderful guy, have a nice little house with pets, a couple of nice trucks and cars ... and he asks if I'm happy ... over and over.

Honestly, some guys are such dingbats. Men need to stop over-thinking stuff. Bless their hearts. If your wife isn't complaining about stuff, yes she's happy. Guys, go with the flow and save that brain power for something more important.

And by the way Ben, if you're reading this, yes, I'm happy with you and if you keep asking ... I will continue to make your favorite cakes for you but your truck won't start.

All good things
Emmy

Deidre32 · Mar 3, 2019

I agree. I care what someone else thinks, and ask his opinion. I never thought I'd be able to commit to doing that which is why marriage sort of scared me. But, if you marry the right person, and a person who is interested in having a relationship with God, then your marriage will have a bright future. I don't worry about the house being clean lol We both work, and it's not just my responsibility. But, I think about things that I didn't always think about when we were ''just'' dating.

EmmaCat · Mar 13, 2019

I love that!!!

Dave-W · Mar 13, 2019

EmmaCat said:
Men need to stop over-thinking stuff. Bless their hearts. If your wife isn't complaining about stuff, yes she's happy.

Not necessarily true. Some wives play it very close to the chest, and we guys have no clue what they are thinking or feeling. Its all smiles and nods until it blows up big time.

mama2one · Mar 13, 2019

@EmmaCat
when just husband and I , didn't worry much except his travels

but as a parent whole new level of worry

EmmaCat · Mar 21, 2019

Unfortunately we aren't parents. I can see where being parents is a whole other issue for a couple.

All good things
Emmy

EmmaCat · Mar 21, 2019

Dave-W said:
Not necessarily true. Some wives play it very close to the chest, and we guys have no clue what they are thinking or feeling. Its all smiles and nods until it blows up big time.

Then that is a communication issue and this needs to be addressed before things blow up up, I think. I hope things work out for you.

All good things
Emmy

Swan7 · Mar 23, 2019

Dave-W said:
Not necessarily true. Some wives play it very close to the chest, and we guys have no clue what they are thinking or feeling. Its all smiles and nods until it blows up big time.

I struggle with this. I struggle so much on this because I have no idea when I'm keeping things inside until the last straw happens.
I do take it to God, but perhaps that is where my issue is as I don' t do so enough, but then again I dunno because I don't know when something bothers me, lol! I know, very confusing - even for me!

Dave-W · Mar 23, 2019

Swan7 said:
I struggle with this. I struggle so much on this because I have no idea when I'm keeping things inside until the last straw happens.
I do take it to God, but perhaps that is where my issue is as I don' t do so enough, but then again I dunno because I don't know when something bothers me, lol! I know, very confusing - even for me!

Yeah, I get that. IMO it comes from being told over and over again growing up that what you think or feel does not matter so we end up stuffing our feelings and not even thinking about them until something happens and it all comes rushing out and we wonder “where did THAT come from??”

Swan7 · Mar 23, 2019

Dave-W said:
Yeah, I get that. IMO it comes from being told over and over again growing up that what you think or feel does not matter so we end up stuffing our feelings and not even thinking about them until something happens and it all comes rushing out and we wonder “where did THAT come from??”

Now that hits home for me and makes a lot of sense. I never thought about it before. I've totally forgiven my parents and yet I still struggle with this kind of "brainwashing" or "conditioning" from that young age and onward. How is that possible?
Maybe this is God's way of showing me what's still festering, I guess...?

Toro · Mar 23, 2019

Swan7 said:
Now that hits home for me and makes a lot of sense. I never thought about it before. I've totally forgiven my parents and yet I still struggle with this kind of "brainwashing" or "conditioning" from that young age and onward. How is that possible?
Maybe this is God's way of showing me what's still festering, I guess...?

You still have fits when you see me load the dishwasher without washing my dishes first.... so yeah.. its possible

Dave-W · Mar 23, 2019

Swan7 said:
Maybe this is God's way of showing me what's still festering, I guess...?

Forgiving someone for wrongs they have done does NOT automatically mean everything is healed and working properly. Forgiveness gets your self out of the way so God can deal with the wrong-doer. But healing and restoration of the wrongs done is a separate act.

As a kid my dad did all kinds of bad things; comments made, orders given and severe beatings. While I forgave him for all of that decades ago and he has been dead for about a decade, I am still dealing with what he left me with.

mama2one · Mar 23, 2019

never got that as my mom did preclean with a brush

dishwasher w/the soap are meant to clean
read article that not good to preclean dishes as then they can actually get worn by DW if nothing to clean, lol

yucky pans are another story

don't do DW precleaning nor iron clothes like mom did!

Swan7 · Mar 23, 2019

Dave-W said:
Forgiving someone for wrongs they have done does NOT automatically mean everything is healed and working properly. Forgiveness gets your self out of the way so God can deal with the wrong-doer. But healing and restoration of the wrongs done is a separate act.

As a kid my dad did all kinds of bad things; comments made, orders given and severe beatings. While I forgave him for all of that decades ago and he has been dead for about a decade, I am still dealing with what he left me with.

I see. God's grace is so needed.

Swan7 · Mar 23, 2019

Toro said:
You still have fits when you see me load the dishwasher without washing my dishes first.... so yeah.. its possible

Yeah... that's just gross though :sorry:

Toro · Mar 23, 2019

Swan7 said:
Yeah... that's just gross though

Bah!
Okay fine.... from now on every time I eat this will be a routine:

Me: Womuuun I'm a dunn eeetyn muh fudd. Come a kleeeen muh dishes!

You: Okay let me stop what I was doing.

Youd think a wife would be happy to hear "Just throw them in the washer, if they are dirty run them again instead of the first one. :sput:

Jon Osterman · Mar 23, 2019

Why would anyone wash their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher? That's what the dishwasher is for! (The clue is in the name.)

Toro · Mar 23, 2019

That's nothing. Growing up my mother hired a maid.

The day before the maid arrived she would rush home from work and frantically clean the house before the maid got there so the maid wouldnt think we were slobs. :mmh:

She didnt like it when I asked if I could do what the maid does. She rushes home to clean the house so I wouldnt think we were slobs and I'd only charge half..... :puff:

Dave-W · Mar 24, 2019

Jon Osterman said:
Why would anyone wash their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher? That's what the dishwasher is for! (The clue is in the name.)

Tropical Wilds · Mar 24, 2019

I rinse and get the big boogers off the plates, but let the dishwasher do most of the work. Or my kids.

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