- Feb 19, 2017
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*You are in the Catholic Forum*
This semester at school, I've encountered two people who have challenged my faith, and both times, I didn't feel like I could defend myself.
The first time, it was a girl from this club on campus called the Elohist Club. Not really sure what an Elohist is, but she basically opened her Bible, then started talking to me about some bride of Christ that was supposed to appear during His second coming?? She cited some verses from the end of the Bible, and I had never heard of this, so I didn't feel like I could really oppose what she was saying. All I did was listen to her, and that was it. I didn't say that I agreed with her statements or anything, but I didn't verbally try to counter her arguments either. That didn't feel too good. The second encounter was worse, though.
The second encounter happened yesterday. There were some people in the free speech area on campus passing out these thin magazines giving pro-life arguments, plus they were showing these big signs with the pictures of aborted babies on them. I really shouldn't have engaged with these people, but I walked up to one of them anyways and asked for a magazine since I was curious to see what it said. I then gave a short synopsis of how I ended up becoming pro-life recently and he said that I had an inspiring story. That's when the story took a sharp left turn.
All of a sudden, he started trying to preach to me about the Good News. I mean, normally I wouldn't mind that much, but this felt like he was starting to push some kind of agenda, maybe, instead of staying on topic?? But I stayed anyways and listened. He questioned me on whether I had ever lied before, whether I had ever said the Lord's name in vain, and whether I had ever stolen anything in my entire life. His questioning my morals made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I answered truthfully to each question he asked with an affirmative "yes". He then said that I had already broken three of the ten commandments and that, if you break one commandment, it messes up the rest of the chain links, if you know what I mean. It's kind of like when you're sick. When one part of your body is sick, then the rest of your body is affected. That's basically what he was saying.
Anyways, he then said that I didn't deserve to go to Heaven, that none of us do, actually, and that it was only through the Lord's kindness and grace that we could be saved. Then he asked me if I considered myself to be "born again". I said I wasn't sure, but that I was converting to Catholicism. That's when he started making all these icky claims about the Catholic Church. He said that Catholics aren't known for reading their Bibles, are wrong for thinking that you are saved through Christ AND good works (as opposed to only being saved through Christ alone), and that they follow man-made traditions instead of following only the Bible. I'm ashamed to admit that I fell into his trap of claiming that we are saved through Christ alone (only because I didn't feel equipped enough to argue with him), and as for the other two statements, I didn't agree with him but I didn't defend myself either. Instead, all I did was let out a skeptical "Hmm..." noise. Finally, at the end, after asking permission to pray for me, he put his hand on my shoulder, lowered his head, and prayed for me. I just stared at the ground the entire time he prayed and wondered what I had gotten myself into. Then I politely excused myself and went on my way to do some homework that needed to be turned in shortly.
I feel very bad that I did not feel capable enough to defend my beliefs. It's one thing when you're behind a computer screen and can take the time to think out a good response, or if you're talking to someone in person with another educated Catholic to back you up. It's a whole other situation to be face to face with someone spreading falsehoods and having to talk to them alone with no sources prepared to back you up. Don't get me wrong, I understand my beliefs very well and am not going down this path blindly. However, I just don't feel confident enough in myself to stand on my own two feet when put on the spot like that. It's been that way since I was 13.
When I was 13, I would often speak the truth, but due to certain adults who were spreading vicious lies about me and people who were eager to latch on to anything that would smear my name, I was never believed when I did speak the truth. In fact, I was even made to believe that I wasn't remembering certain events or facts correctly. Now, even today, I often find myself second-guessing myself, even on subjects that I am thoroughly educated on and am an expert in.
I don't feel smart enough or prepared enough to defend myself most times. Even if I were trained in apologetics, I'd probably still find myself with no voice when the time came or if someone asked a question that went "off script". I'm pathetic and, honestly, I just hope that God isn't disappointed in me for not trying harder to stand my ground.
This semester at school, I've encountered two people who have challenged my faith, and both times, I didn't feel like I could defend myself.
The first time, it was a girl from this club on campus called the Elohist Club. Not really sure what an Elohist is, but she basically opened her Bible, then started talking to me about some bride of Christ that was supposed to appear during His second coming?? She cited some verses from the end of the Bible, and I had never heard of this, so I didn't feel like I could really oppose what she was saying. All I did was listen to her, and that was it. I didn't say that I agreed with her statements or anything, but I didn't verbally try to counter her arguments either. That didn't feel too good. The second encounter was worse, though.
The second encounter happened yesterday. There were some people in the free speech area on campus passing out these thin magazines giving pro-life arguments, plus they were showing these big signs with the pictures of aborted babies on them. I really shouldn't have engaged with these people, but I walked up to one of them anyways and asked for a magazine since I was curious to see what it said. I then gave a short synopsis of how I ended up becoming pro-life recently and he said that I had an inspiring story. That's when the story took a sharp left turn.
All of a sudden, he started trying to preach to me about the Good News. I mean, normally I wouldn't mind that much, but this felt like he was starting to push some kind of agenda, maybe, instead of staying on topic?? But I stayed anyways and listened. He questioned me on whether I had ever lied before, whether I had ever said the Lord's name in vain, and whether I had ever stolen anything in my entire life. His questioning my morals made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I answered truthfully to each question he asked with an affirmative "yes". He then said that I had already broken three of the ten commandments and that, if you break one commandment, it messes up the rest of the chain links, if you know what I mean. It's kind of like when you're sick. When one part of your body is sick, then the rest of your body is affected. That's basically what he was saying.
Anyways, he then said that I didn't deserve to go to Heaven, that none of us do, actually, and that it was only through the Lord's kindness and grace that we could be saved. Then he asked me if I considered myself to be "born again". I said I wasn't sure, but that I was converting to Catholicism. That's when he started making all these icky claims about the Catholic Church. He said that Catholics aren't known for reading their Bibles, are wrong for thinking that you are saved through Christ AND good works (as opposed to only being saved through Christ alone), and that they follow man-made traditions instead of following only the Bible. I'm ashamed to admit that I fell into his trap of claiming that we are saved through Christ alone (only because I didn't feel equipped enough to argue with him), and as for the other two statements, I didn't agree with him but I didn't defend myself either. Instead, all I did was let out a skeptical "Hmm..." noise. Finally, at the end, after asking permission to pray for me, he put his hand on my shoulder, lowered his head, and prayed for me. I just stared at the ground the entire time he prayed and wondered what I had gotten myself into. Then I politely excused myself and went on my way to do some homework that needed to be turned in shortly.
I feel very bad that I did not feel capable enough to defend my beliefs. It's one thing when you're behind a computer screen and can take the time to think out a good response, or if you're talking to someone in person with another educated Catholic to back you up. It's a whole other situation to be face to face with someone spreading falsehoods and having to talk to them alone with no sources prepared to back you up. Don't get me wrong, I understand my beliefs very well and am not going down this path blindly. However, I just don't feel confident enough in myself to stand on my own two feet when put on the spot like that. It's been that way since I was 13.
When I was 13, I would often speak the truth, but due to certain adults who were spreading vicious lies about me and people who were eager to latch on to anything that would smear my name, I was never believed when I did speak the truth. In fact, I was even made to believe that I wasn't remembering certain events or facts correctly. Now, even today, I often find myself second-guessing myself, even on subjects that I am thoroughly educated on and am an expert in.
I don't feel smart enough or prepared enough to defend myself most times. Even if I were trained in apologetics, I'd probably still find myself with no voice when the time came or if someone asked a question that went "off script". I'm pathetic and, honestly, I just hope that God isn't disappointed in me for not trying harder to stand my ground.