what are you feeling right now? (24)

chaoticfirefly · Mar 21, 2019

Press On said:
You have been on my mind the past few days. I am so sorry you are receiving mistreatment. I know it's human nature to want to strike back when you are being hurt.

One step at a time. You are the best judge as to if you need intervention, and by all means do so if you feel you are losing control. But I do hope that things will begin to resolve themselves and get better so your studies are not interrupted.

Your are a fighter. You have gotten past other garbage in your life (but not without some battle scars). I have faith and confidence that you will come out of the other side of this as well. And as always, we are here for you to unload on if you need to vent.

Thank you! Your guys support means so, so much to me. There's a lot happening right now, and admittedly, I'm not quite sober so I don't know how much is going to be posted from emotion.

chaoticfirefly · Mar 21, 2019

Good and bad. I kinda went drinking tonight, to celebrate spring! Warmer days, making new friends. Part of a friendgroup now, I guess? I feel seen by other people. Seen and accepted despite what's happening currently.

My car for some reason did not work today. I reaalllyyyy hope it's just a dead battery from not running it since January.

But I made friends. I'm tired.

Tempura · Mar 21, 2019

SnowTiger said:
Thank you for the reply. I want to move forward. I get down a lot because someone has been playing tricks on me. I've been given lots of miraculous signs that say I'm going to hell. One voice in my head says "maybe it was the devil." I keep thinking it was God who gave me signs that I'm going to hell. For some reason I have a hard time believing that the devil can produce miraculous signs. Can the devil do signs and miracles? I worry a lot because of these signs that I saw. One voice in my head keeps telling me that the devil did those signs to fool me.

So, can the devil do signs and miracles? If it's true then I would feel better because I definitely got signs that I'm going to hell from someone. I found mysterious writings around the house talking about my sins and telling me I'm going to die and go to hell. I also found an image of the devil on a table in my house. Maybe it's the devil playing tricks on me?

I worry a lot because of these supernatural things that have happened to me. These supernatural things got me to believe God hates me.

God doesn't play tricks. He doesn't torture us and laugh at us. Think of Christ, of His nature, how the Father is revealed in Him. Christ is love, truth, hope. Hope for the sinners. He prayed for those who crucified Him. He gives us peace. He is our refuge, our Rock. He is simple, gentle and humble. He also told us that there will be evil miracles, and many might be deceived. But nothing, nothing anywhere, can take you away from His hand. We don't need any more signs. Christ is the only sign we need. If something is against His grace, I would not believe it one bit.

If I was you, I would get a psychiatric evaluation and professional help. You don't need to suffer like this. Christ be with you brother, you will have my prayers.

Press On · Mar 21, 2019

chaoticfirefly said:
Thank you! Your guys support means so, so much to me. There's a lot happening right now, and admittedly, I'm not quite sober so I don't know how much is going to be posted from emotion.

Press On · Mar 21, 2019

chaoticfirefly said:
Good and bad. I kinda went drinking tonight, to celebrate spring! Warmer days, making new friends. Part of a friendgroup now, I guess? I feel seen by other people. Seen and accepted despite what's happening currently.

My car for some reason did not work today. I reaalllyyyy hope it's just a dead battery from not running it since January.

But I made friends. I'm tired.

Most likely the battery, knowing the area of the country you live in. If it is more than 3 years old you are better off replacing it. It will not be reliable. Check your positive & negative connections to make sure they're tight as well as clean with no corrosion.

If all that checks out, somebody with a set of jumper cables can get your car up and running.

Glad things are looking up for you. That's why when depression rears its ugly head we must not listen to our thoughts because more often than not we are lying to ourselves, especially when it comes to thoughts of harming ourselves. Thanks for hanging in there. It always eventually gets better and you begin to think more clearly and rationally. Glad you had fun.

Press On · Mar 21, 2019

SnowTiger said:
Thank you for the reply. I want to move forward. I get down a lot because someone has been playing tricks on me. I've been given lots of miraculous signs that say I'm going to hell. One voice in my head says "maybe it was the devil." I keep thinking it was God who gave me signs that I'm going to hell. For some reason I have a hard time believing that the devil can produce miraculous signs. Can the devil do signs and miracles? I worry a lot because of these signs that I saw. One voice in my head keeps telling me that the devil did those signs to fool me.

So, can the devil do signs and miracles? If it's true then I would feel better because I definitely got signs that I'm going to hell from someone. I found mysterious writings around the house talking about my sins and telling me I'm going to die and go to hell. I also found an image of the devil on a table in my house. Maybe it's the devil playing tricks on me?

I worry a lot because of these supernatural things that have happened to me. These supernatural things got me to believe God hates me.

My brother, I am knowledgable of the harrassment you speak of and have had paranormal experiences years ago.

The whole point is to get your mind off Christ and become questioning and fearful. This evil feeds on your fear.

I am not saying to mock or provoke this evil energy, but rather let it be known calmly and confidently that you stand on the promises of God as His child and heir. Quote appropriate scripture when you come across the signs in your home. Declare that the presence is not welcome and firmly and confidently (theatrics is not necessary....lol) command it to leave your home. Quoting Psalms or Jesus Himself in appropriate application to what you are experiencing at the time is a good place to start IMHO.

One more thing. It may be beneficial to get a complete medical checkup complete with blood workup, or perhaps a visit to a psychiatric counselor if your doc thinks you could benefit from it. This could have medical/chemical reasons behind it rather than paranormal.

Also, and please accept this in its intended loving way; review your life regarding past or present sin that hasn't been dealt with. This can give the enemy a foothold in your life.

Much love and prayers, my friend.

Jeshu · Mar 21, 2019

SnowTiger said:
Thank you for the reply. I want to move forward. I get down a lot because someone has been playing tricks on me. I've been given lots of miraculous signs that say I'm going to hell. One voice in my head says "maybe it was the devil." I keep thinking it was God who gave me signs that I'm going to hell. For some reason I have a hard time believing that the devil can produce miraculous signs. Can the devil do signs and miracles? I worry a lot because of these signs that I saw. One voice in my head keeps telling me that the devil did those signs to fool me.

So, can the devil do signs and miracles? If it's true then I would feel better because I definitely got signs that I'm going to hell from someone. I found mysterious writings around the house talking about my sins and telling me I'm going to die and go to hell. I also found an image of the devil on a table in my house. Maybe it's the devil playing tricks on me?

I worry a lot because of these supernatural things that have happened to me. These supernatural things got me to believe God hates me.

Believing that God hates you because you saw these things is just the conclusion the devil would want you to come to. Please never believe God hates you. He loves you and wants to set you free from your fears. He has a place of rest for you.

As someone who suffers from schizophrenia i recognise a lot of what you are saying. Psychotic episodes always looked like miracles but in the end it was my ill mind deceiving me into believing these things. Medications have helped a lot.

As to hearing voices saying things the best is to heed the living word - that is the word of God in the Spirit of love, faith and hope. He alone is reliable to tell you the truth, other inner voices are tricksters telling lies.

i hope this helps. :hug:

Jeshu · Mar 21, 2019

LoyalToGod said:
I feel like screaming. It seems that people have more compassion for people who only whine and not do anything about their problems, while people like me who ACTUALLY act on their advice get disrespected and told platitudes. Maybe I should stop venting permanently...

How frustrating....

.Mikha'el. · Mar 21, 2019

I got triggered by a song on the playlist at work today. I hope it doesn't get played too often.

Jeshu · Mar 22, 2019

i've been battling severe anxiety, it has been hard going but feeling reasonable mood wise, a bit flat i suppose.

gerbilwoman · Mar 22, 2019

I've had a rough couple of days. I saw my therapist yesterday but don't feel she is on my side. I see my psychiatrist tonight, hopefully that goes better.

LoyalToGod · Mar 22, 2019

Jeshu said:
How frustrating....

Thank you for getting me, Jeshu

gerbilwoman · Mar 22, 2019

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Please call a crisis line.
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Jeshu · Mar 24, 2019

It is Monday morning and i'm feeling slightly anxious facing the week. Last week and the week before my anxiety has been going through the roof it hasn't been very pleasant. i don't feel like another one of these weeks. Now luckily my anxiety hasn't been as bad as two weeks ago so hopefully it will remain low key.

Depression wise i'm not doing too bad. Very flat but not down under. Yvonne has been complaining that i don't ever talk any more. i'm completely in survival mode and haven't got much to say. Staring in front of me that is what i'm good at doing when i feel like this.

A blessed week to all

Lady Bug · Mar 25, 2019

I wish I had not started an antidepressant; the feeling you get when the drug is leaving your system is horrible and worse than if you had never taken the drug in the first place...I wish I could go back to the time before I started it, even though I'm deriving benefits from it...

Jeshu · Mar 26, 2019

Lady Bug said:
I wish I had not started an antidepressant; the feeling you get when the drug is leaving your system is horrible and worse than if you had never taken the drug in the first place...I wish I could go back to the time before I started it, even though I'm deriving benefits from it...

You might get used to it over time. i know what you mean though some anti-depressants are really hard on us. i've tried most of them and then had to go of them after the doctor realised they weren't working. The side effects are no joke either but if it eases our depression then it is worth it.

Praying things settle down for you.

Lady Bug · Mar 26, 2019

Jeshu said:
You might get used to it over time. i know what you mean though some anti-depressants are really hard on us. i've tried most of them and then had to go of them after the doctor realised they weren't working. The side effects are no joke either but if it eases our depression then it is worth it.

Praying things settle down for you.

the AD is a net positive for me. no side effects (no discernable ones at least) at all, while on it. helps curb emotional eating, something I never thought would happen. I am still a pig, but a different kind of pig. may not sound like a big deal to someone else, but it is to me. not too keen on the emotional blunting. I do wish I could cry more, but for the time being I am glad that I am not falling apart emotionally. overall it does ease the depression. I cannot always escape the sadness and emptiness that hits me at times. I had a moment last Friday, it wasn't fun...I was driving around this one street in the neighborhood and it felt like I was the only one from 30 years back who is still around and like I've been left behind and the feeling of emptiness just hit me so hard. without my med that emptiness would have been very hard to bear, but with my med, yes the emptiness is there but I can still focus on other things. the med has a dark side to it, extreme fatigue if you delay your dose by more than 2 hours...that's scary...

Jeshu · Mar 26, 2019

Lady Bug said:
the AD is a net positive for me. no side effects (no discernable ones at least) at all, while on it. helps curb emotional eating, something I never thought would happen. I am still a pig, but a different kind of pig. may not sound like a big deal to someone else, but it is to me. not too keen on the emotional blunting. I do wish I could cry more, but for the time being I am glad that I am not falling apart emotionally. overall it does ease the depression. I cannot always escape the sadness and emptiness that hits me at times. I had a moment last Friday, it wasn't fun...I was driving around this one street in the neighborhood and it felt like I was the only one from 30 years back who is still around and like I've been left behind and the feeling of emptiness just hit me so hard. without my med that emptiness would have been very hard to bear, but with my med, yes the emptiness is there but I can still focus on other things. the med has a dark side to it, extreme fatigue if you delay your dose by more than 2 hours...that's scary...

i'm so glad it is working to suppress your depression and your eating at least. How long have you been on them now? No the emotional blunting is not nice but a must under the circumstances for being overly emotional while deeply depressed leads to even more misery.

Glad those pills are at least doing some good.

:hug:

Jeshu · Mar 27, 2019

Feeling thankful that the anxiety has stayed at reasonable levels and hasn't gone through the roof again. i've been sleeping better as well. My mood is still very flat i simply can't be stuffed doing anything.

Hoping everyone else is well

Noxot · Mar 27, 2019

I heard that 33% of Australians will get some kind of cancer because the hole in the ozone is over Australia? I bet it is so hot there. I feel thankful that I live in Texas.

what are you feeling right now? (24)

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