The problem, I think, is that not all women are the same and not all men are the same. Broad generalisations about "manhood" and "womanhood" always leave some of us not fitting into the picture presented.
I agree.
And this isn't a problem that just effects women. Sometimes I look at myself critically and I wonder how much I am not being myself, and trying to conform to a religious community's overly narrow expectations.
Part of the problem I believe, is that I've been in some religious communities that were extremely controlling or traditionalist, and for a while I rejected all religion altogether as a result, and I don't know how to integrate it all back together.
Wouldn't you all agree that so much of the trouble comes from trying to impose on people what they SHOULD be like instead of celebrating (and encouraging) who they actually ARE?
I heard an Anglican priest talking about this on youtube a few days ago, talking about human dignity and touching on that theme, and it was a message I had not heard in many churches.
The Church needs to actually do more to train people in being genuinely loving, and not just pious. We are not used to thinking of love as a conscious discipline, Protestants typically think of love as just something that happens supernaturally, but perhaps that is something that needs to be challenged.
I was getting all nostalgic today and re-reading old threads here (from 2011). At that time there was a huge problem in the Married sub-forum over discussing sex in marriage. There was a group that routinely started threads about how "sex is like maintenance" and should be perceived that way (and even likened it to regularly changing your oil in your car in order to ensure the longevity of your car life). Then there was a group of us that came up against that mindset....saying that sex shouldn't be an obligation....it should be a mutually enjoyed experience. Somehow that got translated to: "sex shouldn't be a part of marriage". One post that I particularly appreciated is this one.
Maybe less shoulds, period. Sometimes sex is all those things, and that's more often than not, fine. Though I think comparing sex to car maintanence is a bit creepy, sometimes people do get different things from sex, other than mind blowing experiences.
Letting go of the Calvinist need to rationally regulate every aspect of our lives according to an ideal, and just being comfortable in our own skin, is something that could go a long ways to making Christianity genuinely attractive again. People outside the Church are tired of hearing shrill, moralistic voices of all sorts.