False God or first experience?

Chance7 · Mar 17, 2019

Hello, my Name is Chance. I have been a “Christian” or a while. I was originally suffering with Tourette syndrome and many mental illnesses. One day I just felt this white light of unconditional, unimaginable love. I knew it was God and I somehow knew that I had a choice: I could go back to living my own life, or I could follow the light. I originally was one who despised God for my life. But even though I did this, I still felt like my Father wanted to love me so much. Then, everything changed when I started following Christian guides online and watching YouTube sermons and preachers. This made me feel like I was extremely far from God, gave me hopeless anxiety, and made me feel like Heaven was Impossible. I then started heading nonstop condemnation and made me suicidal and have periods of severe relapses of sin. I started trying harder and harder and seeing my sin and hopeless more and more. I felt like God hated me.

However, every once in a while, I would fall away from listening to the judgements and condemnations and just seek God on my own. This brought about periods of intense hope, Joy, love, acceptance, and lessening in sin. Then, I found this book by Robert Perkinson about trying to connect with God. I started seeking God extensively and I found acceptance, kindness, Patience, and love to be the rulers of my life’s mindsets and God to be my father.

However, Recently, I’ve been attacked by anxiety and have been doubting everything. The Miricles in my life. God’s words to me. Everything I’ve learned in the Bible from new eyes. I think that the reviews I read are right and that he is false. But everyone is false in each other’s eyes. I was my best self when I was extensively seeking God because I believed what I heard about God not being angry and wrathful all the time and loving to those who seek him. The peace I had has turned into condemnation. I feel hopeless. Like Hod is angry and vengeful and full of hate. And other Christians aren’t helping. They say meditating is a sin but how can it be a sin to close your eyes, Talk to God, and listen for his answers and guidence? The meditation they talk about involves “spiritual” tuff. Mine is focused esclusively on God.

So, my guestion is, is the loving God a false God and the one who condemns me constantly, gives me angry messages constantly, and makes me not even care about anyone or anything anymore the real God. Or, is the harsh God the false one and the loving one who Wants me to actively seek him, smiles in my mind, compelled me to talk to others about Jesus, talks to me kindly and Gently, Tells me he loves me, Makes me feel horrible for sin and not want it in my life at all, helps me understand the Bible, even the “scary parts” in his terms and explains them to my mind so that I agree with them, and gives me tender mercies just when I need them, the real God. As I’m writing this, I may already know the answer. But what do you think?

God bless you and thank you, Friends!

devin553344 · Mar 17, 2019

God is love. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are in Galatians 5:22-23. And if it is one of those fruits, then probably it's God.

That said you should be praying to God but not waiting for an answer, He will answer you in His own time and in His own way. So you might not see it and it may take some time.

HTH, God Bless.

com7fy8 · Mar 17, 2019

Chance7 said:
the loving one who Wants me to actively seek him, smiles in my mind, compelled me to talk to others about Jesus, talks to me kindly and Gently, Tells me he loves me, Makes me feel horrible for sin and not want it in my life at all, helps me understand the Bible, even the “scary parts” in his terms and explains them to my mind so that I agree with them, and gives me tender mercies just when I need them

I would offer that we need to develop in how we relate with the real One.

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

From this, I understand that God in His love is quiet . . . not silent. But we humans can have our ways of going along with noisy stuff of frustration, unforgiveness, wrath, controlling people for what we want, workaholic passion and pressures, and bitterness and fear and lusts. So we miss how God is quiet . . . and humble.

And yes He does confront our sin things, but in His correction He also changes us to be more deeply kind and personally caring about people while sharing sweetly and sensitively with Him . . . deeper than words and explanations, though He does say things to us and enlighten us

BrotherD · Mar 17, 2019

The false god is the one that wants you to be mean and hateful. The living God, the most high God, Jesus Christ wants you to be kind, loving, and caring. Keep reading, keep praying and obeying and he will reveal himself to you more and more. The enemy wants to derail you but you got this my friend. I will pray for you.

In Christ

Dave G. · Mar 17, 2019

I think you know the answer based on your last paragraph. But God is a personal God and there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.

It's all about Jesus Christ not religious systems.

friend of · Mar 17, 2019

Chance7 said:
Or, is the harsh God the false one and the loving one who Wants me to actively seek him, smiles in my mind, compelled me to talk to others about Jesus, talks to me kindly and Gently, Tells me he loves me, Makes me feel horrible for sin and not want it in my life at all, helps me understand the Bible, even the “scary parts” in his terms and explains them to my mind so that I agree with them, and gives me tender mercies just when I need them, the real God.

Reading your entire post, it sounds to me like you are in a genuine relationship with our Father in Heaven. One of the reasons is discipline. If we are not disciplined, then the bible says we are illegitimate children. It's not always pleasant to have a sense of foreboding over our condition and sinfulness, but this is a reality for us as humans; we are so far from perfect. He prunes us of things he dislikes so that we may grow in a way that is pleasing to Him, and this can be painful and unpleasant. Hang in there and endure my friend! Trust that He has a plan for you and let go of self reliance. Acknowledge Him and he will make straight your paths. Do not fret. Be of good comfort for Jesus has overcome the world.

Hebrews 12:5-11

Presbyterian Continuist · Mar 17, 2019

Chance7 said:
Hello, my Name is Chance. I have been a “Christian” or a while. I was originally suffering with Tourette syndrome and many mental illnesses. One day I just felt this white light of unconditional, unimaginable love. I knew it was God and I somehow knew that I had a choice: I could go back to living my own life, or I could follow the light. I originally was one who despised God for my life. But even though I did this, I still felt like my Father wanted to love me so much. Then, everything changed when I started following Christian guides online and watching YouTube sermons and preachers. This made me feel like I was extremely far from God, gave me hopeless anxiety, and made me feel like Heaven was Impossible. I then started heading nonstop condemnation and made me suicidal and have periods of severe relapses of sin. I started trying harder and harder and seeing my sin and hopeless more and more. I felt like God hated me.

However, every once in a while, I would fall away from listening to the judgements and condemnations and just seek God on my own. This brought about periods of intense hope, Joy, love, acceptance, and lessening in sin. Then, I found this book by Robert Perkinson about trying to connect with God. I started seeking God extensively and I found acceptance, kindness, Patience, and love to be the rulers of my life’s mindsets and God to be my father.

However, Recently, I’ve been attacked by anxiety and have been doubting everything. The Miricles in my life. God’s words to me. Everything I’ve learned in the Bible from new eyes. I think that the reviews I read are right and that he is false. But everyone is false in each other’s eyes. I was my best self when I was extensively seeking God because I believed what I heard about God not being angry and wrathful all the time and loving to those who seek him. The peace I had has turned into condemnation. I feel hopeless. Like Hod is angry and vengeful and full of hate. And other Christians aren’t helping. They say meditating is a sin but how can it be a sin to close your eyes, Talk to God, and listen for his answers and guidence? The meditation they talk about involves “spiritual” tuff. Mine is focused esclusively on God.

So, my guestion is, is the loving God a false God and the one who condemns me constantly, gives me angry messages constantly, and makes me not even care about anyone or anything anymore the real God. Or, is the harsh God the false one and the loving one who Wants me to actively seek him, smiles in my mind, compelled me to talk to others about Jesus, talks to me kindly and Gently, Tells me he loves me, Makes me feel horrible for sin and not want it in my life at all, helps me understand the Bible, even the “scary parts” in his terms and explains them to my mind so that I agree with them, and gives me tender mercies just when I need them, the real God. As I’m writing this, I may already know the answer. But what do you think?

God bless you and thank you, Friends!

Unfortunately there are many areas of the Christian church that trade on condemnation and judgment instead of grace and power. Watching Youtube videos that preach condemnation and judgment would not be good for you, especially if you are not familiar with the doctrines of the Gospel and where you stand with Christ once you have received Him.

It would be better for you to find a loving Christian group who stand for the grace of God toward sinners and believers, and who hold to the truth that it is the goodness of God that leads sinners to repentance, and that Jesus did not come into the world to condemn but to save sinners.

Also, choose carefully the Youtube videos you watch. Choose the ones that you will give sound teaching on how a believer stands with Christ, and will strengthen and encourage you in the faith, not drive you into doubt, despair and depression. Anything that drives you into doubt, despair and depression is not the Holy Spirit.

It is a snare for you to compare yourself with seemingly successful and "spiritual" Christians. Things are not always how they appear. It is usually the "super-spiritual" preachers and believers that you need to be especially careful of. If their hearts are not right (and only God can see the heart of people), then even listening to their teaching and preaching can impart things to you that are not of the Holy Spirit and open you to demonic attack.

Not David · Mar 17, 2019

Chance7 said:
Hello, my Name is Chance. I have been a “Christian” or a while. I was originally suffering with Tourette syndrome and many mental illnesses. One day I just felt this white light of unconditional, unimaginable love. I knew it was God and I somehow knew that I had a choice: I could go back to living my own life, or I could follow the light. I originally was one who despised God for my life. But even though I did this, I still felt like my Father wanted to love me so much. Then, everything changed when I started following Christian guides online and watching YouTube sermons and preachers. This made me feel like I was extremely far from God, gave me hopeless anxiety, and made me feel like Heaven was Impossible. I then started heading nonstop condemnation and made me suicidal and have periods of severe relapses of sin. I started trying harder and harder and seeing my sin and hopeless more and more. I felt like God hated me.

However, every once in a while, I would fall away from listening to the judgements and condemnations and just seek God on my own. This brought about periods of intense hope, Joy, love, acceptance, and lessening in sin. Then, I found this book by Robert Perkinson about trying to connect with God. I started seeking God extensively and I found acceptance, kindness, Patience, and love to be the rulers of my life’s mindsets and God to be my father.

However, Recently, I’ve been attacked by anxiety and have been doubting everything. The Miricles in my life. God’s words to me. Everything I’ve learned in the Bible from new eyes. I think that the reviews I read are right and that he is false. But everyone is false in each other’s eyes. I was my best self when I was extensively seeking God because I believed what I heard about God not being angry and wrathful all the time and loving to those who seek him. The peace I had has turned into condemnation. I feel hopeless. Like Hod is angry and vengeful and full of hate. And other Christians aren’t helping. They say meditating is a sin but how can it be a sin to close your eyes, Talk to God, and listen for his answers and guidence? The meditation they talk about involves “spiritual” tuff. Mine is focused esclusively on God.

So, my guestion is, is the loving God a false God and the one who condemns me constantly, gives me angry messages constantly, and makes me not even care about anyone or anything anymore the real God. Or, is the harsh God the false one and the loving one who Wants me to actively seek him, smiles in my mind, compelled me to talk to others about Jesus, talks to me kindly and Gently, Tells me he loves me, Makes me feel horrible for sin and not want it in my life at all, helps me understand the Bible, even the “scary parts” in his terms and explains them to my mind so that I agree with them, and gives me tender mercies just when I need them, the real God. As I’m writing this, I may already know the answer. But what do you think?

God bless you and thank you, Friends!

Remember that God is a good God who loves mankind. "The wrath of God" is his love which the unfaithful considers bad, he is not a literally God who experiences emotional anger.

Chance7 · Mar 17, 2019

Seem that’s exactly what I thought. When I follow the other God, I feel a sense of anger towards others and I’m very short at their sins. I feel temptations more and more and give in more and more. I keep feeling “come on. This is what you picked. Endure, suffer, do more for me, or you’ll be tortured for all eternity). I feel like all the loving preachers are “wolves” and only the ones who warn and hudge are the ones I should listen to. I feel compelled to obey the law and commandments not out of love beau out of fear and a sense of debt. I keep falling and when I do, all I feel is how I’m not Good enough. Even the very words of the Bible sound angry to my ears, let alone the scary verses, and even the loving verses where God and Jesus speak, I hear anger and reluctance to love and even loud hate.

But when I follow the Loving God....it’s incredible. I feel constant peace and genuine joy and love like I e never felt in my life. I thought other Christians were just being overly dramatic. But I was so wrong. It’s the best feeling ever. Then, even when times get hard, I find myself not as upset or impatient as usual. I instead feel “Come, rely on me and I will guide you the way you need to go”. So many expressions of love I begin to notice and I’m incredibly grateful. I’m patient with others and I even feel empowered to help them not out of duty or responsibility, but out of love. My whole mindset changes. I start feeling a great hunger and thirst for the word, and I see things more clearly. I hear the words of the Bible s sweet and, although at times sobering, an expression of Gods glory.

As I sit here, I’m holding back tears. I’m so scared that the other people are right and hat the love I found isn’t really God. But at the same time, I’m so sure of it. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bother, I just felt in my spirit that other Family in God could Guide me. What are your experiences of God like? Have you seen him the same way! Ever been through the same thing. I would do anything for God if he helped me.

Jeshu · Mar 17, 2019

Chance7 said:
So, my guestion is, is the loving God a false God and the one who condemns me constantly, gives me angry messages constantly, and makes me not even care about anyone or anything anymore the real God. Or, is the harsh God the false one and the loving one who Wants me to actively seek him, smiles in my mind, compelled me to talk to others about Jesus, talks to me kindly and Gently, Tells me he loves me, Makes me feel horrible for sin and not want it in my life at all, helps me understand the Bible, even the “scary parts” in his terms and explains them to my mind so that I agree with them, and gives me tender mercies just when I need them, the real God.

The angry god is an abomination who use religion to get him to be honoured. It is the dragon of Revelation 12 He works through our guilty conscience but never sets free from sin but enslaves us to all kind of rules and laws. Watch out for that monster my friend.

True God is loving and incredible gracious. He honours the name of Christ. You come with faith in Jesus before His throne - and you meet the most awesome God of the universe. He makes us mourn our sins and move away from them. He changes sinful hearts and sets them free. He is true God.

Peace

All Praise To Our God

Beloved Jesus it is You we all adore
You are the One who loves us more
You are The One who always cares
You are the One who everything shares
You are The One deserving all Praise
You are The One who bought us Grace.

Spirit of God You gave us Jesus to know
Praises to Him from our sinful lips to flow
The Living Word in You becomes our life
Your loving truth ends all our inner strife
Sanctifying our ailing spirits on The Way
Bringing us God The Father when we pray.

Heavenly Father Above All You we adore
With tear streaked faces flat on the floor
marvelling at Your undying graceful Voice
Hallelujah in Your unfailing Love we rejoice
Egocentric and sinful world we leave behind
Knowing Eternal Goodness in You we will find.

FutureAndAHope · Mar 17, 2019

Chance7 said:
Hello, my Name is Chance. I have been a “Christian” or a while. I was originally suffering with Tourette syndrome and many mental illnesses. One day I just felt this white light of unconditional, unimaginable love. I knew it was God and I somehow knew that I had a choice: I could go back to living my own life, or I could follow the light. I originally was one who despised God for my life. But even though I did this, I still felt like my Father wanted to love me so much. Then, everything changed when I started following Christian guides online and watching YouTube sermons and preachers. This made me feel like I was extremely far from God, gave me hopeless anxiety, and made me feel like Heaven was Impossible. I then started heading nonstop condemnation and made me suicidal and have periods of severe relapses of sin. I started trying harder and harder and seeing my sin and hopeless more and more. I felt like God hated me.

However, every once in a while, I would fall away from listening to the judgements and condemnations and just seek God on my own. This brought about periods of intense hope, Joy, love, acceptance, and lessening in sin. Then, I found this book by Robert Perkinson about trying to connect with God. I started seeking God extensively and I found acceptance, kindness, Patience, and love to be the rulers of my life’s mindsets and God to be my father.

However, Recently, I’ve been attacked by anxiety and have been doubting everything. The Miricles in my life. God’s words to me. Everything I’ve learned in the Bible from new eyes. I think that the reviews I read are right and that he is false. But everyone is false in each other’s eyes. I was my best self when I was extensively seeking God because I believed what I heard about God not being angry and wrathful all the time and loving to those who seek him. The peace I had has turned into condemnation. I feel hopeless. Like Hod is angry and vengeful and full of hate. And other Christians aren’t helping. They say meditating is a sin but how can it be a sin to close your eyes, Talk to God, and listen for his answers and guidence? The meditation they talk about involves “spiritual” tuff. Mine is focused esclusively on God.

So, my guestion is, is the loving God a false God and the one who condemns me constantly, gives me angry messages constantly, and makes me not even care about anyone or anything anymore the real God. Or, is the harsh God the false one and the loving one who Wants me to actively seek him, smiles in my mind, compelled me to talk to others about Jesus, talks to me kindly and Gently, Tells me he loves me, Makes me feel horrible for sin and not want it in my life at all, helps me understand the Bible, even the “scary parts” in his terms and explains them to my mind so that I agree with them, and gives me tender mercies just when I need them, the real God. As I’m writing this, I may already know the answer. But what do you think?

God bless you and thank you, Friends!

God is love, he is not full of judgments, and wrath. I would say the experience that you have of a loving God, is the real God.

Basically Jesus died for our sins, so that we can be forgiven. While we have faith in that act, we are forgiven and on our way to heaven. The bible says "there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ". You are in Christ while you trust in His act of forgiveness.

As a forgiven people, we should strive to live in a way pleasing to God, as faithful servants, but it is not our effort that saves us, neither our perfection.

paul1149 · Mar 18, 2019

The book of 1 John in the Bible might be helpful to you. John was the beloved disciple, and his first letter is filled with love, especially chapter 4. But it also speaks of the need for discernment, because "many spirits have gone out into the world". Discerning the voice of God is something we hone through experience, and the Bible gives us objective criteria to help separate true from false.

That said, what you've related so far seems to bear the marks of the Holy Spirit, consistency with the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5) and the wisdom of God (James 3). And every time Jesus shows up in a crisis situation, He first word to the fearful person is "be not afraid".

Chance7 · Mar 18, 2019

Thank you all so much. I appreciate it more than you know. God bless you!

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