What do I do??

dabro

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My heart cries out to God for justice.

I know I reaped what I sowed.

I know I made mistakes in life.

In 05 I was treated so bad for just telling the truth.

Willing to sacrifice it all for what I felt justice needed to be done.

I was innocent in the sense that I committed no crime. Yes I was wrecking ppls lives. Doing so much.

I look at what happened to me as God’s hand of justice. Was raped, beat up severely, left in a jail cell getting worse by the day. Get out and humiliated. Left to die.

Gave my life to Christ. Gave a heartfelt apology, yet others did not see what they did to me.

The pangs of what I deal with today vibrate through all of my self.

When Lord, I cry out for justice!
 

Messerve

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Hi! I'm sorry to hear about all this...

What do you mean by people treated you bad for telling the truth? If you committed no crime, how did you end up in jail?

I'm glad you found Jesus! Healing will happen over time, though I guess there can be lingering scars. I don't know how long you've been released as of now, but it never hurts to find a Christian counselor who you can talk to and share your heart but who isn't connected to your past at all.
 
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dabro

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I thought I gave my ex HIV, so I walked around OKC in no certain direction.

Called the cops and told them, went to jail.

After five days I was released. Go back to jail. Was raped by two guards, thrown into a stretcher. They put a catheter in me and pulled it out w the balloon opened.


After this I was in jail and beat up severely, Abandoned by my ex. So many things happened to me.

I don't have HIV. I was innocent.
 
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aiki

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My heart cries out to God for justice.

I think you might prefer God's mercy, grace and forgiveness. His justice is a very scary thing. Remember what happened to Christ as he satisfied God's justice on the cross? I don't think you want anything like that, do you? If God gave you what you really deserved, you'd be very, very unhappy I think.

In 05 I was treated so bad for just telling the truth.

Willing to sacrifice it all for what I felt justice needed to be done.

I was innocent in the sense that I committed no crime. Yes I was wrecking ppls lives. Doing so much.

This is just confusing. How are we to comment on this stuff when we don't have any idea what you're talking about?

I look at what happened to me as God’s hand of justice. Was raped, beat up severely, left in a jail cell getting worse by the day. Get out and humiliated. Left to die.

Uh, what? How did you end up in jail?

Gave my life to Christ. Gave a heartfelt apology, yet others did not see what they did to me.

You can't make other people behave as you'd like them to. Leave them to God. He will deal with them exactly as He should.

The pangs of what I deal with today vibrate through all of my self.

When Lord, I cry out for justice!

Things sound pretty awful. May I suggest looking away from your misery to Christ? Fix your eyes upon him.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in his wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of his glory and grace."

Hebrews 12:2-3
2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.
 
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dabro

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I thought I gave my ex HIV, so I walked around OKC in no certain direction.

Called the cops and told them, went to jail.

After five days I was released. Go back to jail. Was raped by two guards, thrown into a stretcher. They put a catheter in me and pulled it out w the balloon opened.


After this I was in jail and beat up severely, Abandoned by my ex. So many things happened to me.

I don't have HIV. I was innocent.
 
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dabro

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I have, before I was BA the moment I was out of jail and all the things happened to me, the scripture Vengeance Is mine always went thru my head. I didn't do anything but let everyone walk over me.
 
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Messerve

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I'm really sorry all that happened to you...

Definitely do not take out revenge on anyone because that will only cause you more of the same kind of pain you've already gone through. You don't want to repeat it all over again and end up hating people even more, right? There's no life in that!

It's hard to forgive, especially people who seem like they aren't even sorry. But instead of being angry, try to see them for what they are - lost sheep without a shepherd, as the Bible describes them. It's sad when you realize these kinds of people are pursuing mirages and will end up dying empty and hopeless and destined for eternal death.

Imagine what it would be like if those two guards, for example, also found Jesus and were completely changed! Wouldn't that be an amazing thing? Pray for them that that will happen.

Pray for all the people who have hurt you and those you have hurt, too. Ask God to help you see them through His eyes and leave their future up to Him.

If people hurt you, remember what people did to Jesus. He was tortured until He died while performing the greatest act of forgiveness and mercy history will ever see. so when you remember your sufferings, also remember how Jesus suffered and that until the end he never stopped forgiving. He saw them for the lost and blind sheep they were.
 
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