Concerns in finding a church home.

Although I do not at this time attend a Baptist Church I believe they are a good Bible believing Church.

It seems being baptized again would be of no harm since the church seems to fit your marriage needs I would go for it.

I have found it is best to submit to the good church preachers and elders. Makes it easier for this old Wretched Man.


M-Bob

FreeLee said:

I am having a really hard time right now. I am 29 and was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church when I was 24. I met my now wife the next year. She comes from a Baptist upbringing, but had a bad experience at her home church. She attended my Episcopal church with me for nearly three years, then voiced concern that she was not getting anything out of the services. I understood, as there is a big difference between the denominations. I told her I was willing to try a Baptist Church with her. We started attending a few weeks ago and we both really liked it. The pastor wanted to pay a visit to our home, and did so this past Tuesday. While at our house, he informed me that if I ever wanted to become a member, I would have to be baptized again, pretty much saying that the first one wasn't valid because I wasn't fully submerged. And he said that "we baptists go by the book", and other things taking subtle digs at the Episcopal Church (which I know of the issues a lot of folks have with Episcopalians, but some of the comments were uncalled for). I have always been taught in ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sins, and the thought of being baptized again is a bit unsettling because of it, because it's like saying I didn't mean it the first time. It is causing issues in my marriage because my wife is happy at the church and has had a bit of spiritual awakening, but it is causing me distress because the only way I can join that church is to be baptized again, which goes against one of my core beliefs. What should I do in this situation? Am I making it out to be a bigger deal than it actually is?

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You are right that there is ONE baptism, and that baptism is not a repeatable sacrament.

One caveat though. Was it a Trinitarian baptism, or slanted differently as some progressives are wont to do? If it was a Trinitarian baptism, with real water, the way Episcopalians used to do it all the time, then it is a valid baptism. If it was some other dodgy thing, you are free to be baptized in reality for the first time.

Can you attend meaningfully without being a member? I know I could not abandon the grace given to me at my baptism for the sake of pleasing some men.

Might there be some other iteration of Anglicanism that would be more meaningful to your wife than TEC? For example there are many groups that have left the Episcopalians per se but still maintain some older Anglican ways of worship. The only one I am familiar with is the Anglican Ordinariate, a group of Anglicans who became Catholic while maintaining their traditions. There might be something along that line, either more evangelical or Anglo-Catholic that you could relate to and your wife would find more meaningful.

FreeLee said:

I am having a really hard time right now. I am 29 and was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church when I was 24. I met my now wife the next year. She comes from a Baptist upbringing, but had a bad experience at her home church. She attended my Episcopal church with me for nearly three years, then voiced concern that she was not getting anything out of the services. I understood, as there is a big difference between the denominations. I told her I was willing to try a Baptist Church with her. We started attending a few weeks ago and we both really liked it. The pastor wanted to pay a visit to our home, and did so this past Tuesday. While at our house, he informed me that if I ever wanted to become a member, I would have to be baptized again, pretty much saying that the first one wasn't valid because I wasn't fully submerged. And he said that "we baptists go by the book", and other things taking subtle digs at the Episcopal Church (which I know of the issues a lot of folks have with Episcopalians, but some of the comments were uncalled for). I have always been taught in ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sins, and the thought of being baptized again is a bit unsettling because of it, because it's like saying I didn't mean it the first time. It is causing issues in my marriage because my wife is happy at the church and has had a bit of spiritual awakening, but it is causing me distress because the only way I can join that church is to be baptized again, which goes against one of my core beliefs. What should I do in this situation? Am I making it out to be a bigger deal than it actually is?

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Nothing in your message raises any red flags for me. It is all quite accurate as you put it. That being the case, the starting point for me in looking for a solution would be never to consider acceding to the Baptist pastors demands concerning a re-baptism. He correctly conveyed the Baptistic POV, but that's the most that can be said for it.

However, there is no reason you cannot attend worship services there with your wife. The two of you could rotate Sundays--as many couples have done. They have found this to be successful. Would it be successful for you two and for the long haul? I do not know, but you are relatively new at trying to work something out, so I would give it a try. It might be that, in a year or so, one or the other of you could have a new perspective on the whole matter.

You've already been baptized- you've received the circumcision made without hands. You can't be "circumcised" a second time. If he "went by the book", he would know that.

FreeLee said:

I am having a really hard time right now. I am 29 and was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church when I was 24. I met my now wife the next year. She comes from a Baptist upbringing, but had a bad experience at her home church. She attended my Episcopal church with me for nearly three years, then voiced concern that she was not getting anything out of the services. I understood, as there is a big difference between the denominations. I told her I was willing to try a Baptist Church with her. We started attending a few weeks ago and we both really liked it. The pastor wanted to pay a visit to our home, and did so this past Tuesday. While at our house, he informed me that if I ever wanted to become a member, I would have to be baptized again, pretty much saying that the first one wasn't valid because I wasn't fully submerged. And he said that "we baptists go by the book", and other things taking subtle digs at the Episcopal Church (which I know of the issues a lot of folks have with Episcopalians, but some of the comments were uncalled for). I have always been taught in ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sins, and the thought of being baptized again is a bit unsettling because of it, because it's like saying I didn't mean it the first time. It is causing issues in my marriage because my wife is happy at the church and has had a bit of spiritual awakening, but it is causing me distress because the only way I can join that church is to be baptized again, which goes against one of my core beliefs. What should I do in this situation? Am I making it out to be a bigger deal than it actually is?

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So I'm going to go all Bible on you... ok? Ready?

Hebrews 13:17 says this....

You are going to a church, that has some rules. Submit yourselves to the leaders of the church, and obey them.

You said the pastor made some 'digs' at Episcopalians, and some uncalled for comments. In general I think it is better to not make comments against any other Christian group, unless they are doing something truly crazy.

However, Proverbs 19:11 says this....

Christians should be the most difficult people to get offended. There is no reason to even give these small comments a second thought.

You said that getting baptized again would mean your first one meant nothing.

Says who? The only people who think that, already think your first baptism meant nothing, right? Will not getting baptized make them think it did?

So you know it meant something. And getting baptized again, will not change that.

I've read the Bible cover to cover. Did a read through Bible in a year, for several years. I read multiple translations.

Every single translation says people should get baptized. I have yet to read any translation of the Bible, that says "Get baptized, but never again, or else you get tossed in hell!".

I've never read that. Have you? If you have, where is that passage? Where is the passage that specifically prohibits you from getting baptized twice?

I know many people that got baptized more than once. For a variety of reasons.

Some people would argue.... well the first one didn't matter. OR well the second one didn't matter.

Well then so what? Nothing harmed, and everyone is happy... so ... what?

Here is the important part.... Colossians 3:17
What you did in the Episcopal church was for the Lord, correct?
And whatever you do in this Baptist church will be for the Lord as well?

Then as long as you know in your heart, you are serving the Lord as best you can, then set your mind at easy, give thanks to G-d, and move forward in your life.

That's all you need to do.

Andrew77 said:

So I'm going to go all Bible on you... ok? Ready?

Every single translation says people should get baptized. I have yet to read any translation of the Bible, that says "Get baptized, but never again, or else you get tossed in hell!".

I've never read that. Have you? If you have, where is that passage? Where is the passage that specifically prohibits you from getting baptized twice?

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Does not Romans 14:23 come into play here?

If he has an issue with getting baptized again, then it is not of faith and is a sin.

Edit: I am not saying that he is wrong in having this issue, just commenting on you saying that it's not a sin to be baptized again.

FreeLee said:

I'm not familiar enough with what other denominations do during their worship services, as I've only been to Baptist and Episcopal. I think she is willing to try another church as a way of trying to meet both our needs at the same time before we think about doing the alternating Sundays. I'm just not sure what options would be best to try.

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.

Well, about half of them are more or less like the Episcopal Church in style, while about half are similar to the Baptist churches. You might find an occasional church that is somewhat in the middle, such as the United Methodists or Free Methodists, but it could be quite a search.

A second Baptism might do something for the Baptist pastor. It will do nothing for you.

I was baptized in the Methodist Church by my Dad who was a UMC pastor. I was baptized as a teenager, so old enough to remember an event in my life that had great meaning for me and a special place in my heart for being baptized by my dad. When I left Methodism as a middle aged man, I had interest in joining another body. But, it insisted I be re-baptized. Couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it. To me that would negate something I honored and remembered and say my religious formation to that point was of no account.

I like the comment above that you can attend with your wife without being a member. And, if worse comes to worse I think it's not the end of the world if you maintain different denominational allegiances as long as you respect and honor each other's feelings. My wife remains UMC. I've been going to my Episcopal Church by myself for about 15 years now. It causes no riff between us. We worship the same God and Father of all, although in slightly different ways...but ways that are still more alike than different.

FreeLee said:

I am having a really hard time right now. I am 29 and was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church when I was 24. I met my now wife the next year. She comes from a Baptist upbringing, but had a bad experience at her home church. She attended my Episcopal church with me for nearly three years, then voiced concern that she was not getting anything out of the services. I understood, as there is a big difference between the denominations. I told her I was willing to try a Baptist Church with her. We started attending a few weeks ago and we both really liked it. The pastor wanted to pay a visit to our home, and did so this past Tuesday. While at our house, he informed me that if I ever wanted to become a member, I would have to be baptized again, pretty much saying that the first one wasn't valid because I wasn't fully submerged. And he said that "we baptists go by the book", and other things taking subtle digs at the Episcopal Church (which I know of the issues a lot of folks have with Episcopalians, but some of the comments were uncalled for). I have always been taught in ONE baptism for the forgiveness of sins, and the thought of being baptized again is a bit unsettling because of it, because it's like saying I didn't mean it the first time. It is causing issues in my marriage because my wife is happy at the church and has had a bit of spiritual awakening, but it is causing me distress because the only way I can join that church is to be baptized again, which goes against one of my core beliefs. What should I do in this situation? Am I making it out to be a bigger deal than it actually is?

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You were baptized by God's Holy Spirit. Have no fear about getting wet a second time. Just be glad we have so much water in the US we can spare some for churches.

I have been baptized twice and my wife just happens to have been baptized twice. Was it required no. Just something we had a desire to do.

Don't think it hurt me?
And for sure it shows that it did not hurt my Saintly read her Bible 14 times in 14 years wife.

M-Bob

Boidae said:

Does not Romans 14:23 come into play here?

If he has an issue with getting baptized again, then it is not of faith and is a sin.

Edit: I am not saying that he is wrong in having this issue, just commenting on you saying that it's not a sin to be baptized again.

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Again... as I said, there isn't a single verse anywhere in the Bible, at any point... that says getting dunked in water twice.... is a sin. It's not even logical to suggest it could be a sin. He did not say it was a sin in his post even. Nothing anywhere on this thread, or elsewhere, or in the Bible... says it's a sin.

They say it doesn't matter, because you only need to be baptized once.

Ok. But that doesn't mean it's a sin to get baptized more than once, does it?

There is only ONE baptism. Ok. But that doesn't mean doing it twice is sin. Where do you see that in the Bible?

Do you see the difference? How could it even be sin?

He said he felt like it meant his first Baptism didn't mean anything, if he got baptized again. That I understand. But that still doesn't mean it is sin.

How can doing something that is commanded by G-d to do, be sin? I don't see anything saying you get tossed into hell, if you pledge your life to Jesus twice.

So, no I don't see that Romans 14 applies to this.

Andrew77 said:

Again... as I said, there isn't a single verse anywhere in the Bible, at any point... that says getting dunked in water twice.... is a sin. It's not even logical to suggest it could be a sin. He did not say it was a sin in his post even. Nothing anywhere on this thread, or elsewhere, or in the Bible... says it's a sin.

They say it doesn't matter, because you only need to be baptized once.

Ok. But that doesn't mean it's a sin to get baptized more than once, does it?

There is only ONE baptism. Ok. But that doesn't mean doing it twice is sin. Where do you see that in the Bible?

Do you see the difference? How could it even be sin?

He said he felt like it meant his first Baptism didn't mean anything, if he got baptized again. That I understand. But that still doesn't mean it is sin.

How can doing something that is commanded by G-d to do, be sin? I don't see anything saying you get tossed into hell, if you pledge your life to Jesus twice.

So, no I don't see that Romans 14 applies to this.

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Because he would not be doing it in faith, which according to Romans 14:23 is sin as it's not done in faith.

I do not believe he needs to get baptized again. He has already been baptized once. If it were me I would try to compromise with my wife and not be baptized because some denomination feels it was done wrong the first time.

Boidae said:

Because he would not be doing it in faith, which according to Romans 14:23 is sin as it's not done in faith.

I do not believe he needs to get baptized again. He has already been baptized once. If it were me I would try to compromise with my wife and not be baptized because some denomination feels it was done wrong the first time.

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But you should do everything in faith. I said that from the start.


So that goes without saying. Everything you do in life, should be done in faith. Everything.

I don't know about whether he needs it. Likely not. So what? I do many things in life that I don't 'need' to do.

If he really wants to push this..... then he shouldn't go to that church anymore. Might ruin his marriage, but if you are going to go to a church, and refuse to obey the leadership of that church... that is clearly defined sin in the Bible.

It isn't up to interpretation on that one. You are supposed to submit to the leadership of the church you are going to. If you are not going to do that, then stop going. Go to a church were you do submit to the leadership.

I would never advise someone to ignore clearly defined sin in the Bible, in order to avoid some ambiguous concern that isn't defined in the Bible. There is nothing saying you can't be baptized twice. There is most definitely something saying follow the church leadership.

That is my advice, and that is all I have to say on this matter.

@FreeLee Good luck man. Best to you.