How should a young Christian man approach girls?

RDKirk

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I am approaching 20 years of age, as my birthday is in June. Like all young men, my flesh yearns for romantic female contact. However, in accordance with God, I am staying sexually pure until I am married.

The problem is this. I'd love to date a girl and get married but I'm absolutely 100% dead broke right now and have ZERO capability to sustain a wife & household right now. I'm in college hoping my education pays off into a fruitful life for myself.

I can't help my attraction to women, and I'd love to date one right now, but if I did, it wouldn't really go anywhere since it will be a number of years before I'm financially stable.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I can't have sex before marriage, I'm too broke to even afford marriage right now, but I'd like to have a romantic relationship. How can I handle this issue?

I asked this question earlier, but I'm going to ask it again because you never answered it and not many people picked up on it.

Why do you want a romantic relationship with a woman you have no intention of marrying?
 
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Sketcher

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Most of this advice will keep you single. Story of my life. If you have to ask how to approach women on a forum, then advice that essentially says "wait on dating" will not help you with dating. None of us are going to be morally perfect this side of Heaven, and money will always be an issue, and you're not going to know that a woman is wife material when you have just met her. Things are never going to be "together enough." The trick for you is to find good Christian male friends who are morally solid and will encourage you to date healthily and grow upward in your walk with Christ. Maybe things have changed in college with Joshua Harris's very public apology and all, but when I was in college I couldn't find this. I had some great experiences and grew socially in some very important ways, but dating was generally held at arm's length by a lot of people - not sin, but nobody was going to encourage each other to get out there and make a relationship happen. There's a time and a place for that, especially when you have outgoing guys that have "pasts" with women, some people need that emphasis on restraint to keep them out of trouble and enough of their social ability leaks out to land them in relationships eventually. But again, since you have to ask how to approach women on a forum, my guess is you're not one of those people. So find a campus ministry where dating responsibly is modeled and literally encouraged. And of course, strong on Scripture and discipleship and general fellowship too. A group like that will bless your life.
 
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2PhiloVoid

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I am approaching 20 years of age, as my birthday is in June. Like all young men, my flesh yearns for romantic female contact. However, in accordance with God, I am staying sexually pure until I am married.

The problem is this. I'd love to date a girl and get married but I'm absolutely 100% dead broke right now and have ZERO capability to sustain a wife & household right now. I'm in college hoping my education pays off into a fruitful life for myself.

I can't help my attraction to women, and I'd love to date one right now, but if I did, it wouldn't really go anywhere since it will be a number of years before I'm financially stable.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I can't have sex before marriage, I'm too broke to even afford marriage right now, but I'd like to have a romantic relationship. How can I handle this issue?

Ask your parents to help you out ... 'cuz that's what parents are supposed to do!
 
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ColinJesusboy28

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Be sure and find the right one. When you make love to a woman, you really do join bodies with her. If your bodies aren't meant for each other, you could very well have body pain for the rest of your life. I can testify this. In my former sinful life I foolishly dated (sexually married) a woman that I was not in love with and it has taken a major tole on my life. Read proverbs. Don't find just anyone. Wait for real love. Figure out what real love is and never let it go.. God bless
 
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Roldan Sasan

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I am approaching 20 years of age, as my birthday is in June. Like all young men, my flesh yearns for romantic female contact. However, in accordance with God, I am staying sexually pure until I am married.

The problem is this. I'd love to date a girl and get married but I'm absolutely 100% dead broke right now and have ZERO capability to sustain a wife & household right now. I'm in college hoping my education pays off into a fruitful life for myself.

I can't help my attraction to women, and I'd love to date one right now, but if I did, it wouldn't really go anywhere since it will be a number of years before I'm financially stable.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I can't have sex before marriage, I'm too broke to even afford marriage right now, but I'd like to have a romantic relationship. How can I handle this issue?
 
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Roldan Sasan

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Ask your parents to help you out ... 'cuz that's what parents are supposed to do!

Hi Man,

God sees your heart's desire. I know that God delights it. Put your trust into God, don't you worry about that matter, God prepares it for you.
 
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Roldan Sasan

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Just the fact that you want to please God with waiting is pretty impressive!
Exactly! That's pretty impressive. When we received Jesus in our lives, all are package:
1. Family- God prepares you a beautiful partner. See in the book of Genesis, God cant dare to see Adam alone, He made Eve for Adam.
2. Blessings- All there needs were provided.

But see, when they disobeyed God, all were disappeared, they died first in the spirit, 2nd is in flesh. God curse them and let them out from the garden of eden which is there home before. Same with you man, please God all your life.
 
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Jonaitis

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Women are interesting creatures to lure, so I will help you succeed in this industry. You will need:

1. Cute puppy (make sure you know the breed in case she asks).
2. A ripped bod.
3. Spend money like you breathe air.

These things will draw that species to come running to your arms.
 
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ColinJesusboy28

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Women are interesting creatures to lure, so I will help you succeed in this industry. You will need:

1. Cute puppy (make sure you know the breed in case she asks).
2. A ripped bod.
3. Spend money like you breathe air.

These things will draw that species to come running to your arms.

a little humor doesn't hurt. ...

And if you are going to spend money like you breath air, you better make money like you breathe air !
 
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RDKirk

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Women are interesting creatures to lure, so I will help you succeed in this industry. You will need:

1. Cute puppy (make sure you know the breed in case she asks).
2. A ripped bod.
3. Spend money like you breathe air.

These things will draw that species to come running to your arms.

That, of course, caters to the natural female proclivity toward hypergamy.

And women are more "successful" in the natural when they cater to the natural male proclivity toward polyamory.

Of course, Christ calls both men and women to reject the mastery of the body over our minds and to take control over our bodies (that which is "natural") by conforming our minds to Him rather than to the desires of our bodies.
 
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derpytia

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I am approaching 20 years of age, as my birthday is in June. Like all young men, my flesh yearns for romantic female contact. However, in accordance with God, I am staying sexually pure until I am married.

The problem is this. I'd love to date a girl and get married but I'm absolutely 100% dead broke right now and have ZERO capability to sustain a wife & household right now. I'm in college hoping my education pays off into a fruitful life for myself.

I can't help my attraction to women, and I'd love to date one right now, but if I did, it wouldn't really go anywhere since it will be a number of years before I'm financially stable.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I can't have sex before marriage, I'm too broke to even afford marriage right now, but I'd like to have a romantic relationship. How can I handle this issue?

As a woman, I give this advice:

It is good that you are thinking ahead but don't let your fears for the future dictate your life.

As for approaching women, just treat us with respect and don't view us as a means to an endgoal (sex). Trust me, if you don't respect us and/or view us as just a way for you to get married so you can have sex, we will know and probably won't want to be around you. A relationship and even a marriage is more than just sexual gratification. Us women are people too and want a happy and Godly partnership just as much as men do.

There's nothing wrong with dating right now. Though perhaps you'll have to settle for dates that don't cost a lot of money if any at all. If your date cannot handle that and respect that you are trying to be frugal then she is not the one for you.
 
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