- Nov 25, 2018
- 153
- 129
- 34
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Episcopalian
- Marital Status
- Single
Peace and blessings in Christ to you all.
I recently began working at a mental health treatment facility. We are transitional housing for people who are in the process of moving from institutionalized living to independence, generally coming from lengthy stays at the state mental hospital. Often they are under the jurisdiction of the psychiatric review board for decades, some for the rest of their lives, due to an "incident." In many cases this incident was a very heinous and violent crime for which they were found not guilty by reason of insanity.
It's very heavy, but very rewarding. I am able to look past the incidents for which my clients are receiving treatment and I am able to view them through a strengths-based lens. I see them as good people genuinely in need of, and deserving of, my respect, positive regard, and empathy, even in cases where they don't treat me well. My goal is to become a peer support specialists. I have considerable lived experience with mental health issues (Bipolar, OCD/anxiety) and I believe God has placed me on the path to help others. I believe ultimately my experiences culminated into me serving this purpose. I am highly motivated moving forward.
The job is difficult in the sense that I personally identify with many of my client's struggles, and this brings up past traumas that haven't been entirely faced or resolved. I have had in the past very severe manic and depressive episodes which have caused not only significant impairment, but also untold trauma. I currently enjoy very strong recovery and remission of symptoms. My condition rears its ugly head from time to time, but I am generally able to effectively cope with symptoms as they arise. I have also resolved my substance abuse issue, which has helped my wellness considerably. This hasn't always been they case though. Between age 16 and 18, my behaviors were so erratic and dangerous, and my symptoms so severe, that during this 24 month period I spent 21 months in institutions, from hospitals to treatment centers. Crisis were frequent and my functioning had deteriorated. I struggled immensely with mood swings, severe anxiety, impulsiveness, and anger, along with frequent mania and a pervasive drinking problem. I was a danger to myself and others, and my actions were often criminal. My parents took out a second mortgage to keep me in treatment until I turned 18. After leaving treatment, my struggles continued, with two suicide attempts over the next 2 years. The worst incident occurred when I was 16. I had to be involuntarily hospitalized due to manic psychosis, and I was unable to see my mother without security because I was talking about killing her, along with other homicidal ideations.
Today, this seems like a distant memory; another world and another person. I consider myself highly stable, mentally and emotionally, and I have effective coping mechanisms for when I slip. I have tons of insight into my illness and manage it very well. In reaction to these traumas, I have mentally distanced myself from my illness, downplaying its severity in my own mind. I try not to think of myself as "one of those people" and more as "totally normal." This job I'm working, in which I identify very strongly with the illness and experiences of my clients, is shattering this self-preserving denial. I am thrust into a situation where I MUST face and accept my past. Typing out the details was even difficult for me. I could take the easy route and go back to my old college major (accounting, which I am VERY good at), but I do not want to "give up" when there are so many people who can be helped by my experiences. I feel I have been placed on this path for a reason, and I am motivated to push forward and come to terms with myself and my experiences.
If anyone can relate, offer some perspective, or any suggestions, that would be awesome! I am utilizing God as best I can. I am praying for strength moving forward.
I recently began working at a mental health treatment facility. We are transitional housing for people who are in the process of moving from institutionalized living to independence, generally coming from lengthy stays at the state mental hospital. Often they are under the jurisdiction of the psychiatric review board for decades, some for the rest of their lives, due to an "incident." In many cases this incident was a very heinous and violent crime for which they were found not guilty by reason of insanity.
It's very heavy, but very rewarding. I am able to look past the incidents for which my clients are receiving treatment and I am able to view them through a strengths-based lens. I see them as good people genuinely in need of, and deserving of, my respect, positive regard, and empathy, even in cases where they don't treat me well. My goal is to become a peer support specialists. I have considerable lived experience with mental health issues (Bipolar, OCD/anxiety) and I believe God has placed me on the path to help others. I believe ultimately my experiences culminated into me serving this purpose. I am highly motivated moving forward.
The job is difficult in the sense that I personally identify with many of my client's struggles, and this brings up past traumas that haven't been entirely faced or resolved. I have had in the past very severe manic and depressive episodes which have caused not only significant impairment, but also untold trauma. I currently enjoy very strong recovery and remission of symptoms. My condition rears its ugly head from time to time, but I am generally able to effectively cope with symptoms as they arise. I have also resolved my substance abuse issue, which has helped my wellness considerably. This hasn't always been they case though. Between age 16 and 18, my behaviors were so erratic and dangerous, and my symptoms so severe, that during this 24 month period I spent 21 months in institutions, from hospitals to treatment centers. Crisis were frequent and my functioning had deteriorated. I struggled immensely with mood swings, severe anxiety, impulsiveness, and anger, along with frequent mania and a pervasive drinking problem. I was a danger to myself and others, and my actions were often criminal. My parents took out a second mortgage to keep me in treatment until I turned 18. After leaving treatment, my struggles continued, with two suicide attempts over the next 2 years. The worst incident occurred when I was 16. I had to be involuntarily hospitalized due to manic psychosis, and I was unable to see my mother without security because I was talking about killing her, along with other homicidal ideations.
Today, this seems like a distant memory; another world and another person. I consider myself highly stable, mentally and emotionally, and I have effective coping mechanisms for when I slip. I have tons of insight into my illness and manage it very well. In reaction to these traumas, I have mentally distanced myself from my illness, downplaying its severity in my own mind. I try not to think of myself as "one of those people" and more as "totally normal." This job I'm working, in which I identify very strongly with the illness and experiences of my clients, is shattering this self-preserving denial. I am thrust into a situation where I MUST face and accept my past. Typing out the details was even difficult for me. I could take the easy route and go back to my old college major (accounting, which I am VERY good at), but I do not want to "give up" when there are so many people who can be helped by my experiences. I feel I have been placed on this path for a reason, and I am motivated to push forward and come to terms with myself and my experiences.
If anyone can relate, offer some perspective, or any suggestions, that would be awesome! I am utilizing God as best I can. I am praying for strength moving forward.