I broke the trust of a friend and I hurt him really badly... I did something that I promised I wouldn't do. I don't know how to fix this. I hate myself so much, I'm so scared of losing him.
I cried all night till 4 am and this morning for a long time and I was praying so much, begging God to please help me. And it was the type of crying where you where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach just trying to keep quiet while hot tears roll down your face. Imagine doing that all night and waking up crying again.
I feel disgusting with myself and how I'm acting. Everything is about me and I hate that I'm like this. I hate that I'm always afraid and anxious and my reactions to problems only make it worse.I'm letting my feelings get in the way of everything and I'm always afraid and... right now I don't know what to do to rebuild this trust with him.
I know that if I want to keep people that I care about in my life I have to change but I don't know how
I cried all night till 4 am and this morning for a long time and I was praying so much, begging God to please help me. And it was the type of crying where you where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach just trying to keep quiet while hot tears roll down your face. Imagine doing that all night and waking up crying again.
I feel disgusting with myself and how I'm acting. Everything is about me and I hate that I'm like this. I hate that I'm always afraid and anxious and my reactions to problems only make it worse.I'm letting my feelings get in the way of everything and I'm always afraid and... right now I don't know what to do to rebuild this trust with him.
I know that if I want to keep people that I care about in my life I have to change but I don't know how