Asked to leave church by an Usher

Jeff11 · Feb 18, 2019

ilovejcsog said:
On the other hand under the circumstances mentioned above, he did offer to seat you probably with a thought that you could be a shooter as mentioned. I think it is important in these times that they try to alleviate any fearful thoughts caused by strangers coming in late..

i would not describe It as offering to seat me. It was more like him telling me he was going to find a seat for me or I was going to have to leave. And it completely rubbed me the wrong way.

I do not go to church so I can be ordered around by the church staff. He may be ex-military but I do not have to be treated as a subordinate. I cannot be allowed to sit Where I choose because he is an usher? I would rather leave then be ordered around and disrespected. Which is what I did.

FireDragon76 · Feb 18, 2019

redleghunter said:
That does seem rude. However since the church shooting in Texas last year, many deacons and ushers when closing the doors at service start are a bit wary of late comers. Ushers and deacons bird eye spaces and want to seat late comers.

I’d say he was just a bit taken off guard as most won’t refuse help. Plus you become a “free radical” so to speak for security reasons. He didn’t know who you were.

I remember showing up at a church when out of town. I immediately came up to the usher, told him I was visiting and where I came from. He was very polite.

There was a parody article from the Babylon Bee which addressed the frustration of some deacons and ushers. You will like this.

Church Solves Tardiness Problem By Volunteering All Latecomers To Children's Ministry

It is an unfortunate sign of the times.

I wish my own congregation did not emphasize security so much, it can damage outreach. And church shootings and disasters are extraordinarily rare. There has to be a balanced response.

Loyce KG · Feb 18, 2019

Jeff11 said:
I moved to this area about nine months ago and have been attending a handful of CHURCHES during this time. Been looking at Three or four different churches that I have been attending.

So I had attended an earlier church service at a different church I arrived late. I was standing in the back looking for a seat when in usher asked me if I wanted to be seated and I told him I would find one.

At which point he told me I could not stand back there I would have to leave. This caught me off guard and seemed a little rude to me and as I was leaving the church in the lobby i asked to speak to one of the staff. Which point I had about a 10 minute conversation with someone who said they were head of Security.

Apparently they want to keep the back of the church clear in case there is an emergency and most of the ushers were members of first responders. I thought this was a little bit over kill he also seem to think that the usher was acting appropriately.

It amazes me that churches are now asking people to leave if they do not immediately find a seat. It was dark and I wanted the lights to come on. They turn the lights down for the music portion of their service.

Is it wrong to think that asking people to leave is inappropriate? I’ve always thought ushers are supposed to be welcoming and encouraging people to attend the service not asking people to leave.

The other churches I have attended don’t even use ushers and they certainly don’t stand in the back asking people to leave if they don’t get seated.

Am sorry my friend. I empathize with you because i have had a similar experience once before. I left work on a Wednesday and went to this church pastored by a foreigner upon a friend's recommendation. We got into the service and then the pastor walked to the pulpit and asked everyone to stand up. We all did, then i got tired (had spent the last 8 hours in high heels) and decided to sit back. At this point, everyone was praying. I felt a hand rub my shoulder and didn't care to check-that's when i got slapped hard by an usher at the back of my head. She was elderly, so i didn't know what to think. With her hand, she signaled me to stand up which i didn't i was met with a head-slap. I got up and went to the chief usher to report the incident (thought she was mentally unstable). The leader acted like it was normal behavior and basically told me, if i didnt want to stand up during 'spiritual warfare', i would have to leave. I stood still, shocked and dumbfounded until a much younger usher rudely told me to leave immediately. I remember going back home heart broken and crying all the way.
I shared this with a couple of other Christians who reported similar incidents of harassment in the same church. Looking back, am thankful that i left because it turns out, the church is twisted. It is a cult bent on preaching about demons and spirits. The people are paranoid and are given specific prayers to recite for every demon (named). I would never grow spiritually in that church.

A church where Christ is first, will show by the way they serve others-IN LOVE.

Pioneer3mm · Feb 18, 2019

Anthony2019 said:
I have been very blessed by joining a new church recently. The moment I walked in, I was met by two ushers who were very concerned about me. They were concerned that I was new and needed a special welcome. They were concerned that I had a cup of tea, was introduced to other people in the church, and that I had people to sit next to so I didn't feel I was alone. This week I saw the same ushers welcome a homeless man into the church and gave him a cup of coffee. They came to me and introduced me to him.

That is what ushers are meant to do - to spend their time ushering people in, rather than ushering people out!

I have found my favourite church - it is where the love of God is experienced and reflected by His people.

It seems that your experience is "not common" nowadays.
- Especially, welcoming homeless person and giving a cup of coffee!
----
Many churches are more concerned about having certain type of people (social status) and their buildings/property
(to maintain, keep clean..etc)
---
That is why your experience is unusual.

Hazelelponi · Feb 18, 2019

Jeff11 said:
Thank you all for your input.

I do think the issue of violence is a little bit overblown in the media. From what I have read, violent crime Is actually at a 30 year low in this country.

The problem is that shootings tend to be high profile with multiple victims which the media immediately picks up.

The other issue that I want to bring up is that I feel like the situation could’ve been diffused if the usher would’ve been courteous and respectful. For example, Telling someone to leave instead of asking someone and having some patience in this situation would’ve went a long way.

I got the impression that both he and the security chief were either Ex-military or law-enforcement and were used to giving people orders which to me is not appropriate in a church environment to me. Where I live there’s an Air Force Base, possibly They were X military officers.

Your correct that they could have, and should have done more toward being welcoming, and you could have and should have done more toward sharing your thoughts or reasoning as to why you didn't want the seating assistance.

That particular church might have higher profile targets who attend (local politicians and judges) where they feel safety might be a real issue. (It normally happens that they all live in the same area, due to income, and often will then attend the same church).

So it's your decision whether you can be forgiving and accommodating of the environment (not as relaxed an atmosphere underneath the surface) - or whether it's a no-go for you.

If you need the accommodation then it won't work for you there.

As for explaining your diabetes, don't bother. Everyone knows there is hereditary diabetes that has no relationship to weight. My daughter was diabetic and she weighed 100 pounds (at her best) which was 10 pounds underweight, even after giving birth to two children.

I don't think most people automatically think "fat person" when they see the word diabetes..

Albion · Feb 18, 2019

Jeff, it is hard to size up a situation like that -- or the church involved -- by one incident like this one you describe for us, but you were offered the services of an usher in a church that was darkened, you arrived during the worship service, and you told us that there is a reason not to have people lingering in the entrance-exit areas. So I think the ushers may not have overreacted when you refused to follow their lead.

But if you like the church and would otherwise care to return, I would say to do so because this one incident would probably be easily forgotten by everyone.

SolomonVII · Feb 18, 2019

It is a small matter.

Jeff11 · Feb 18, 2019

There was a reason given, whether legitimate is debatable in my opinion.

The idea that they need to keep that aisle clear in case emergency personnel were called because people would just stand in the way and not try to move at let them through isn’t true and speaks of the low opinion they have of the people who attend their church.

In my experience people would Immediately move out of the way and try to help if they could or can.

Just seems like an excuse by “security” at the church to throw their weight around. I’m not going to be treated like a subordinate at a place I can choose to attend or not.

Albion said:
Jeff, it is hard to size up a situation like that -- or the church involved -- by one incident like this one you describe for us, but you were offered the services of an usher in a church that was darkened, you arrived during the worship service, and you told us that there is a reason not to have people lingering in the entrance-exit areas. So I think the ushers may not have overreacted when you refused to follow their lead.

But if you like the church and would otherwise care to return, I would say to do so because this one incident would probably be easily forgotten by everyone.

was

Neogaia777 · Feb 18, 2019

Jeff11 said:
Just seems like an excuse by “security” at the church to throw their weight around. I’m not going to be treated like a subordinate at a place I can choose to attend or not.

Then don't...

You've been going to several right, maybe that one is not right for you...?

No need to be all "whatever", just don't go there anymore (pray for them)... maybe God is trying to get you to choose one, or narrow down your choices or options some...

God Bless!

Jeff11 · Feb 18, 2019

I am but I would like to see them change their policy so no one else is treated like I was. It was upsetting.

Jeff11 · Feb 18, 2019

Yes it’s a small matter. Being asked to leave isn’t though. That is very rude.

SolomonVII said:
It is a small matter.

SolomonVII · Feb 18, 2019

Jeff11 said:
Yes it’s a small matter. Being asked to leave isn’t though. That is very rude.

Coming late to service is rude too.

Jeff11 · Feb 18, 2019

Loyce KG said:
Am sorry my friend. I empathize with you because i have had a similar experience once before. I left work on a Wednesday and went to this church pastored by a foreigner upon a friend's recommendation. We got into the service and then the pastor walked to the pulpit and asked everyone to stand up. We all did, then i got tired (had spent the last 8 hours in high heels) and decided to sit back. At this point, everyone was praying. I felt a hand rub my shoulder and didn't care to check-that's when i got slapped hard by an usher at the back of my head. She was elderly, so i didn't know what to think. With her hand, she signaled me to stand up which i didn't i was met with a head-slap. I got up and went to the chief usher to report the incident (thought she was mentally unstable). The leader acted like it was normal behavior and basically told me, if i didnt want to stand up during 'spiritual warfare', i would have to leave. I stood still, shocked and dumbfounded until a much younger usher rudely told me to leave immediately. I remember going back home heart broken and crying all the way.
I shared this with a couple of other Christians who reported similar incidents of harassment in the same church. Looking back, am thankful that i left because it turns out, the church is twisted. It is a cult bent on preaching about demons and spirits. The people are paranoid and are given specific prayers to recite for every demon (named). I would never grow spiritually in that church.

A church where Christ is first, will show by the way they serve others-IN LOVE.

Wow that was so ridiculous I don’t have words. It’s like certain people are attracted to positions of power so they can abuse it. Sorry that happened to you.

Jeff11 · Feb 18, 2019

SolomonVII said:
Coming late to service is rude too.

Yes so I should be told to leave? If someone asked you to leave would you ever go back? I highly doubt many would. Not the message of brotherly love most people at church are hoping for.

Btw I was late because I had attended an earlier service at another church. It went over. Things happen. No excuse to Ask people to leave.

Neogaia777 · Feb 18, 2019

Jeff11 said:
I am but I would like to see them change their policy so no one else is treated like I was. It was upsetting.

I'd recommend just saying a prayer or your prayers for them, and then, just leave it in God's hands, and try to move on, but that may be just me...

I mean I really don't think "trying to do anything about it, is really gonna do anything about it", either, and might actually make the situation worse and just injure or hurt or damage you more, and maybe "only you more", in the end... So, I'd just say a prayer or two for them and just move on man, really... You've got other churches and places to go and better places to be, and other things to be thinking about, and better ways to be spending your time, than camping or dwelling on this too long my friend, or letting this, or these kinds of things or thoughts consume you my friend, really...

It's just not the church for you...

God Bless!

SolomonVII · Feb 18, 2019

Jeff11 said:
Yes so I should be told to leave? If someone asked you to leave would you ever go back? I highly doubt many would. Not the message of brotherly love most people at church are hoping for.

Btw I was late because I had attended an earlier service at another church. It went over. Things happen. No excuse to Ask people to leave.

You weren’t told to leave because you came late. You were told to leave because you refused to be escorted to a seat, and wanted to continue to stand at the back, which was against the policy of that church.

SolomonVII · Feb 18, 2019

FenderTL5 · Feb 18, 2019

FireDragon76 said:
It is an unfortunate sign of the times.

I wish my own congregation did not emphasize security so much, it can damage outreach. And church shootings and disasters are extraordinarily rare. There has to be a balanced response.

The church I attended before becoming Orthodox, began locking all the exterior doors once the service began. Arrive late, and you didn't get in.

Jeff11 · Feb 18, 2019

SolomonVII said:
..

SolomonVII said:
You weren’t told to leave because you came late. You were told to leave because you refused to be escorted to a seat, and wanted to continue to stand at the back, which was against the policy of that church.

Were you there? I stood in the back less than 5 minutes before I was asked to leave. 5 minutes! And yes having Type 1 diabetes I need to sit somewhere where I can get up easily if I need to. I’m sure there are others there in similar circumstances.

God forbid anyone doesn’t obey the command of the ushers apparently.

Neogaia777 · Feb 18, 2019

SolomonVII said:
You weren’t told to leave because you came late. You were told to leave because you refused to be escorted to a seat, and wanted to continue to stand at the back, which was against the policy of that church.

He's got a point, and I was not trying to judge your actions or theirs right or wrong either way, I just wanted to try and help you "get off of this man", it's not good for anyone, most especially you...

You could very well be in the wrong though maybe...? But I know, you told us that they were acting like cops or whatever, ect, but, just move on man and let it go if you can, K...?

It sounds like your plenty busy with other God centered things right...? Let that and those be your focus and not "this" K...?

God Bless!

Asked to leave church by an Usher

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