So my mother claims to be Christian, but she recently said that a certain part of the Bible was wrong. This isn't the first time that she's said some seriously wrong things about the scripture. However, this time I told her, as soon as she said it, that she was going to hell (it was kind of spontaneous because I was fed up with her making these little jabs at scripture all the same). Then I told her that I was serious and she responded with a "Wow...". Then, I told her, "Well, let me rephrase that. What you said is worthy of hell" and then I questioned her about if she even believes at all, saying because Christians will not go to hell. I question from time to time if she's even Christian and it feels like I'm coming closer and closer to a realization that she's not and it makes me so sad. Did I make a mistake or should I stick to my guns and tell her that I'm not sorry for defending God's word and that I'm sick of her speaking evil of it (even though she claims to be Christian!).
I probably would've handled it more gently, but I greatly admire your zeal for the Word of God. It's not our place to judge a person's soul, only their actions. Hebrews 4:12 comes to mind. The Father knows each and every one of us inside and out, far better than we can even know ourselves. Let Him be the final judge on not only your approach, but the heart from which it came. Likewise, let Him be the final judge on the condition of your mother's heart as well. We don't need to accuse someone of not being a Christian, we can simply ask them (gently), and wait for them to search their own hearts on the matter. For example: "Mom, Jesus says if you love me, you'll obey my commandments. (John 14:15 & 23) You say you love Jesus, yet you disagree with His commandments. There seems to be a disconnect there. I think maybe you need to pray about that and ask Him why. Ask Him to show you what it is that's keeping you from obeying (hence, more fully loving) Him." I would also encourage you to share this verse with her, and to continually pray it over yourself. It's one of my favorites for keeping my own heart in check: "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalms 139:23-24). It's a wonderful verse even for those days we might think we're "doin pretty good." We never know what might be hiding in there. Even if it's just the tiniest little speck, I want Jesus to get it out of there. Here's another one, this just popped up on my verse of the day: "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."
(Philippians 2:3). Also, there's a really fantastic guy I've just recently come across, whose doctrine and teachings have so far been 100% spot on. Here's the link to one of his articles that may be of some help to you in this situation:
Unbiblical Cop-outs: Don't Judge Me!
I wouldn't get too caught up in debating the Word with your mother, or anyone for that matter. The Bible warns us against that in Titus 3: "But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain. A man that is an heretic after the first and second admonition reject; Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself." Titus 3:9-11. You already know the Bible to be true, that's Christianity 101. Either she believes in it or she doesn't. That's gotta be up to her. If not for the Word of God, what is it any of us are basing our faith on? For "faith come by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." Romans 10:17. "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." Joshua 1:8.
"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord ; and in his law doth he meditate day and night." Psalms 1:1-2.
If she needs help finding something or understanding it, be there to help wherever you can, with the leading of the Holy Spirit. But don't get tangled up in useless debates when she may not even accept whatever you take the time to show her or study for her. In teaching her, if the time comes that she will allow you, always look for the heart of God in the passages that are hard to understand. For example, with submission. Submission keeps our hearts humble. Jesus Himself was submissive to the Father, husbands are to be submissive to the Son, (Christ is the head of the church), and wives are to be submissive to their husbands (as is fitting in the Lord, never in a way that opposes or dishonors Him). Submission has never just been for wives, so I'm not sure why that topic gets so cherry picked. It's all throughout the entire Word of God. And it's a beautiful heart, the one that fully submits to the God Most High. We've got a Messiah who washed his disciples feet, but wives who can't make a sandwich. That's pride in it's haughtiest form, and it's ugly. As far as husbands that abuse their wives, or the commandment to submit, I would "submit" to them Luke 12:42-46: "And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his Lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season? Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath. But and if that servant say in his heart, My Lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken; The Lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers." (We should also be checking our own hearts toward our fellow Christians with those verses). And also Hebrews 10:31: "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." But let's be sure we're doing everything the Holy Spirit leads "us" and calls us to do, and leave other people's actions on them.
As for her attitude toward the pastor on tv; a lot of that stuff "is" cr__, so I would avoid inundating her with their teachings. It could prove far more harmful than good in the end. It sounds like she has a root of bitterness in her heart. Pray that God will reveal that and begin to heal and restore her from the pain others may have inflicted. There may be things the Lord decides to unveil that will bring her to a fully repentant (and joyful) heart. Remember, it is the Holy Spirit that brings Jesus' teachings to our remembrance, and we have no need that man should teach us. Stay intimate with the Lord thorough His precious Word and ask to be continually filled with his Holy Spirit. He will bless you in ways you could never imagine.
There may come a day when you need to simply "shake the dust off your feet." If that happens you still must do it in a spirit of love. A heart that says, "I will always love you, but I choose Jesus, and I pray that someday you will too."