Give "Bad" Advice (3)

Jutne 3, 1943, 12:52 p.m.

How do I get myself thin when all around me there's Lotteria?

kkamagwi said:

Hsorwr do I get myself thin whssn all afryound me there's Lotteria?

Click to expand...

Can you even hear yourself asking that question?

What movie should I watch this weekend?

3 back to back Disney kids movies after taking a valium to help you sleep through it.

Should I dry the dog with the leaf blower?

Yes, especially if it is really tiny, like a teacup Pomeranian. Just set up a series of safety nets, too.

How can I stop just reading bad news?

Get a bad news filter from the gas station. They are sold next to the blinker fluid.

How go I stop being accident prone?

You can't stop being a klutz if that's who you really are. What you CAN do is wear safety gear: elbow pads, knee pads, wrist braces, mouth guard, motorcycle helmet, and steel toed boots.

What would you tell the guy who is tempted to stand in the middle of the street at night, wearing black clothes, and messing around with his phone when the road is icy? (i actually saw this last night)

didn't know you lived where I do-where people believe there is no one else in the world but them;let's buy bright orange spray paint to paint them as we go by




how to drive in fog when you can't see ^ above people?

You'll always be above people with a prideful attitude.

How can I get my neighbors to like the same music I do, so they don't mind me blasting it all hours of the day and night?

Make it a weekly habit to have all the neighbors over to your place for grilled steak and fixings, playing your music in the background. In time your neighbors will come to associate your favorite music with pleasant thoughts.

My driveway has turned into an ice rink on a hill. How am I supposed to get to work?

Get friendly with an Australian so you can exchange some of your ice for their summer heat and melt it for free.



What will I find to be the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is to eat more mountain oysters.

What does it mean to jump through hoops?

I think it means you've gone a little loopy.

I keep hearing footsteps at night. How can I tell if it's a ghost.

leave a beer out and see if its drank by morning

how do we know if @LaSorcia is Periwinkle?

Put on a periwinkle skirt and ask her.

How to test MrNoodle for insanity?

I think one of those medieval witch trial methods oughta work.

Should I report @lucypevensie for making a post that was against the rules?

YES report her over and over and one more time after that... treat her like a naughty girl!

If you are a "single Eastern Orthodox", does that make you a good moderator @LaSorcia ?

Have you ever thought of taking up cross-stitching in your spare time?

How can I get a lawn that's the envy of all my neighbors?

Hire a stray dog to go around and wee wee on their lawns each night.

How can I be a better moderator here?

Be less immoderate.

How can I get rid of the ghost in my house?

Throw out all the machines you have, I heard they hide in there.

How can I stay calm while going through airport 'security'?