I know there are many differing views here on relationships. I'm interested in hearing others view on romantic relationships and whether they think they have a negative or positive view regarding them and what impact they think their view has on their romantic life or lack thereof?
I'll start with talking about my current view and my previous one. Generally speaking I'd say due to some life altering circumstances my view which began very optimistic and maybe too idealistic as a child slowly transitioned into a very pessimistic one in which I felt like love and romance was a waste of ones time, and that it is impossible to ever be in an authentic relationship because no one is ever with you just for you, its always what you can do for them. I have never been one to like anything that wasn't authentic and I felt the very idea of romantic relationships, similar to friendships or any association with any other person in this world was all based off of superficial reasons and not based off of anything substantive or meaningful. I based a lot of this not off of any romantic experience but off of previous friendships and experience with people in general. I reached a very low point in my life where I did not really like people in general because I felt like people did not care about anyone but themselves and if this were true and I could easily just be replaced and not mean much to anyone other than what I could offer them then what was the point.
However within the past year or so things in my life started to improve, not materially but just my worldview and the way I felt. I began to not just have a more optimistic outlook on life but also on relationships and people as well. Perhaps you could say I began to see the light that I had not been able to see with all the bitterness and anger I felt because of how unfair life can be. I do think if I had not gone through what amounts to slightly over a decade of just pure darkness then I couldn't have seen the good in life or in people that I currently do. Of course when you have such a dark worldview then it is very hard to function let alone think being in a relationship would be any good for you. I've gone through a lot in my life and feel like I have already lived a whole lifetime unwillingly of course just due to all of the adversity I have dealt with and overcome. I will say though it is nice to be alive again to like people again to believe relationships have value and meaning and that I can have and develop real and meaningful relationships.
I think having a pessimistic view on relationships has a severe impact on the quality of a relationship you can have with a significant other or people in general. But changing ones attitude is not a very simple thing. You just can't wish the negativity running in your mind 24/7 away. You have to see the light and there's no telling when this happens or if it ever will but as long as you keep searching for the truth you will see it I believe.
I'll start with talking about my current view and my previous one. Generally speaking I'd say due to some life altering circumstances my view which began very optimistic and maybe too idealistic as a child slowly transitioned into a very pessimistic one in which I felt like love and romance was a waste of ones time, and that it is impossible to ever be in an authentic relationship because no one is ever with you just for you, its always what you can do for them. I have never been one to like anything that wasn't authentic and I felt the very idea of romantic relationships, similar to friendships or any association with any other person in this world was all based off of superficial reasons and not based off of anything substantive or meaningful. I based a lot of this not off of any romantic experience but off of previous friendships and experience with people in general. I reached a very low point in my life where I did not really like people in general because I felt like people did not care about anyone but themselves and if this were true and I could easily just be replaced and not mean much to anyone other than what I could offer them then what was the point.
However within the past year or so things in my life started to improve, not materially but just my worldview and the way I felt. I began to not just have a more optimistic outlook on life but also on relationships and people as well. Perhaps you could say I began to see the light that I had not been able to see with all the bitterness and anger I felt because of how unfair life can be. I do think if I had not gone through what amounts to slightly over a decade of just pure darkness then I couldn't have seen the good in life or in people that I currently do. Of course when you have such a dark worldview then it is very hard to function let alone think being in a relationship would be any good for you. I've gone through a lot in my life and feel like I have already lived a whole lifetime unwillingly of course just due to all of the adversity I have dealt with and overcome. I will say though it is nice to be alive again to like people again to believe relationships have value and meaning and that I can have and develop real and meaningful relationships.
I think having a pessimistic view on relationships has a severe impact on the quality of a relationship you can have with a significant other or people in general. But changing ones attitude is not a very simple thing. You just can't wish the negativity running in your mind 24/7 away. You have to see the light and there's no telling when this happens or if it ever will but as long as you keep searching for the truth you will see it I believe.
