My husband wants to seperate

Over a period of time the intimacy stopped. My husband would sleep in the guest bedroom bc he snores loud, drinks, and comes to bed much later than I do. Eventually this became an every night thing. He said he would go to the doctor to find out why he was snoring so badly but he never did. He also told me he would let the doctor know about his lack of desire for intimacy. That’s never happened. I would ask him if there was anything wrong and he would just say no. We have been married 2 years, we have no kids. We used to have so much fun. He works a lot and I never had a problem with that. All I asked was for him to take time for himself and our marriage. He stopped taking days off. Even when I would ask him to take a day off he would be dismissive. One day I was talking to my father in law and he told me that my husband told him that he does not want kids. This was shocking to me bc we had agreed that we were ok either way. When I asked him about it. He denied it. He said he didn’t know why his dad would tell me that. I knew he was lying to me. A couple days pass and I see him waiting by our clubhouse for me to pass before he came home. When I saw his car I turned around. He was pulling In the driveway and that’s when I realized that he was trying to avoid me. I cancelled all my plan for that weekend so that we could spend time together. We went to dinner the next day and he told me that he does not think he is marriage material. This is my first marriage and his second. So I asked him why. He said bc I told him he acts single. I did say that but it was for him to recognize that his behavior was not that of a married man. I asked him why was he ok with having a second failed married and he said maybe he is just supposed to be alone. I asked him to come back to the bedroom. He said he would and he never did. I asked him multiply times until I just stopped. I couldn’t take him lying to me anymore. I cried uncontrollably and he didn’t console me. He finally admitted he doesn’t won’t kids. When I asked him why he would tell his father and not me he didn’t have an answer. He said he was entitled to change his mind. I cried all night.He never held me and said it would be ok. When I asked him why he didn’t come check on me he said I was asleep. I was in the house with him several hours crying before I ever went to sleep. We never discussed this again. I continued to try bc I’m not ready to give up. He said I’m beautiful and smart and I deserve better than him. However he wants us to remain in the same house until we get our finances squared away to separate. He has become mean, rude and often times down right nasty. He dislikes my family and his own. He is the only child but he does not have a relationship with his parents. I’m the complete opposite. He does not have friends or mentors. So he bottles all of this in and handles things unlike others. I’m almost at the end of the road. I can’t work on this alone. He won’t talk to me. If I ask a question he will ignore me and then turn right around and ask me a question. I’ve noticed the immaturity, something I never noticed before. He is 42 but I can tell that he has not been around male mentors. He won’t go to church. I know I should keep praying. It’s really hard bc I feel like things are getting worse. Any advice will help. Thanks

“Paisios” said:

I am so sorry you are facing this situation. I’m afraid I don’t have any advice, except maybe to suggest you try counseling if he is willing, but I feel for you, send you a virtual hug, and will say a prayer for you and your husband.

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Thank you. He is not willing to go.

sfs said:

My only advice is to accept that he's probably done with the marriage. It's great that you want to keep working on your marriage, but don't beat yourself up if he doesn't reciprocate.

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I agree but the Christian is me wants to fight. I have my days when I really try. I try to kiss him and he pulls away. If I try to touch him he jumps. And then I get mad and distance myself. I’m an emotional roller coaster.