Relationship advice (Wasn't sure where to post this)

liftawaytheapain · Jan 18, 2019

Hi, I am in a what I always knew but never wanted to admit, a toxic relationship. Almost everyday I ask God to give me the strength to get out of it. Whether it's me letting him go, or him letting me go. That is all I ask from God. To keep good people in my life, and remove the toxic ones. I haven't been able to have the strength to completely let him go. We have broken up many times, but in the end I end up forgiving him, and not having the strength to let him go for good. I feel so weak during those times and disappointed in myself. Most of me wants to let him go, but a big part of me doesn't.

Many times, I find myself so angry with God because I have asked for only strength to let him go, and it has been 6 years that I haven't been able to. Any words of comfort would be appreciated. God bless

mkgal1 · Jan 18, 2019

You're not alone. That's a typical cycle - and I'm guessing that he's really accomplished at woo'ing you back in with apologies and charming promises to change. Do you have friends that can support you, or have you become isolated in this relationship?

I don't believe that God overrides our will (or other's). We need to set our minds to the things we choose, and if we fall back into choosing things that aren't best for us, I don't believe God controls those circumstances (if He did - there wouldn't be the horrible things we see around us).

Praying for you - I know this is difficult. :hug:

mkgal1 · Jan 18, 2019

I recently found out that Dr Henry Cloud (co-author of Boundaries) has formed an online community to support people that are dealing with toxic people. Maybe this would be of help to you: Join the Boundaries.Me Community Today!

liftawaytheapain · Jan 18, 2019

mkgal1 said:
You're not alone. That's a typical cycle - and I'm guessing that he's really accomplished at woo'ing you back in with apologies and charming promises to change. Do you have friends that can support you, or have you become isolated in this relationship?

I don't believe that God overrides our will (or other's). We need to set our minds to the things we choose, and if we fall back into choosing things that aren't best for us, I don't believe God controls those circumstances (if He did - there wouldn't be the horrible things we see around us).

Praying for you - I know this is difficult.

Thank you and yes I have become isolated in this relationship. I guess it's a whole other topic about setting out minds. Which obviously is a problem for me too. But I guess sometimes I feel, if God can give me the strength to get through other problems, and overcome other things, why not this one. I've never asked God for strength more than I have with this toxic relationship

Thank you for your prayers

bèlla · Jan 18, 2019

Is this a dating relationship? Have you been intimate? I don't mean to pry but I have experience with this and I want to advise you correctly.

mkgal1 · Jan 18, 2019

liftawaytheapain said:
Thank you and yes I have become isolated in this relationship. I guess it's a whole other topic about setting out minds. Which obviously is a problem for me too. But I guess sometimes I feel, if God can give me the strength to get through other problems, and overcome other things, why not this one. I've never asked God for strength more than I have with this toxic relationship Thank you for your prayers

You're welcome. I do believe that we're not meant to live in isolation (but that's a toxic person's weapon against us) - and God's power and love is demonstrated through others. It's probably your best priority to begin building a support team for yourself (with God's help). That way you can have others to help strengthen and encourage you.

liftawaytheapain · Jan 18, 2019

LaBèlla said:
Is this a dating relationship? Have you been intimate? I don't mean to pry but I have experience with this and I want to advise you correctly.

Yes, this is an intimate dating relationship

John Bowen · Jan 18, 2019

Don't be in toxic relationship he is stealing your joy .Thats why he keeps coming back he is in a dark place they can't receive light from God so they have to steal it from the ones who have light. I've gone through this myself until I learned . It won't get ever better just a round and round on the merry go round until you decide you had enough. Life is like a river you can cling to a rock cause you are scared , but its familiar or you can let " go " and see where the river will take you. Thats where you find the joy in life flowing with that river .

bèlla · Jan 18, 2019

liftawaytheapain said:
Yes, this is an intimate dating relationship

I suspected that was the case but I wanted your confirmation. The tenure of the issue is troubling and the longer it continues the more difficult a split will be. Is he a believer?

When I read your post my first thought was a soul tie. They're like tentacles that are difficult to unwind but you can get free. Do you live together?

aiki · Jan 19, 2019

liftawaytheapain said:
Hi, I am in a what I always knew but never wanted to admit, a toxic relationship. Almost everyday I ask God to give me the strength to get out of it. Whether it's me letting him go, or him letting me go. That is all I ask from God. To keep good people in my life, and remove the toxic ones. I haven't been able to have the strength to completely let him go. We have broken up many times, but in the end I end up forgiving him, and not having the strength to let him go for good. I feel so weak during those times and disappointed in myself. Most of me wants to let him go, but a big part of me doesn't.

Many times, I find myself so angry with God because I have asked for only strength to let him go, and it has been 6 years that I haven't been able to. Any words of comfort would be appreciated. God bless

Does God want you with this "toxic" guy? If so, how do you know? If not, why would you continue with him? If you're in a relationship with a guy God wants you to forsake, then you're living in disobedience to God which hinders the joyful fellowship with God that you could have if you were living in obedience to Him.

Maybe you aren't sure if God approves of your relationship with your boyfriend. A simple way to figure out who God would approve of as a romantic interest is to ask yourself if that interest moves you toward God or away from Him. If away, obviously, this is not something of which God would approve. If toward, then pursue wholeheartedly! But, of course, this assumes you want God to be at the center of such decisions...

UnprofitableServant · Jan 20, 2019

liftawaytheapain said:
Hi, I am in a what I always knew but never wanted to admit, a toxic relationship. Almost everyday I ask God to give me the strength to get out of it. Whether it's me letting him go, or him letting me go. That is all I ask from God. To keep good people in my life, and remove the toxic ones. I haven't been able to have the strength to completely let him go. We have broken up many times, but in the end I end up forgiving him, and not having the strength to let him go for good. I feel so weak during those times and disappointed in myself. Most of me wants to let him go, but a big part of me doesn't.

Many times, I find myself so angry with God because I have asked for only strength to let him go, and it has been 6 years that I haven't been able to. Any words of comfort would be appreciated. God bless

You can take my '2 cents' for what it is worth.

It may be you are still holding onto something that is clearly not there with your relationship. If not, when the breakup happens, then there would be nothing left to go back to. As it is, every time you two break up, you end up going back for something. What is that something?

If you can locate what that 'something' is, then you will be able to see if staying in this, in your words, 'toxic relationship' is worth it.

I am not sure why you are angry at God. IT seems He did give you strength to leave. YOU kept going back. May be worth seeing who is really at fault here.

I know you were looking for words of comfort, though you won't see these words as comforting, but if you take your time and think about what I am sharing, then I am certain you will see the love I want to show you through this post.

In peace

lastofall · Jan 20, 2019

"My strength is grace for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness".

Servant of Yeshua · Jan 20, 2019

liftawaytheapain said:
Yes, this is an intimate dating relationship

By intimate do you mean fornication? Because if it is fornication then that is a major problem that you need to repent and turn away from as fast as possible. I am praying for you!!

Servant of Yeshua · Jan 20, 2019

Servant of Yeshua said:
By intimate do you mean fornication? Because if it is fornication then that is a major sin that you need to repent and turn away from as fast as possible. I am praying for you!!

Servant of Yeshua · Jan 20, 2019

I have suffered from the serious consequences of the sin of fornication. I did not realize how serious this sin was until it was too late. Repent and turn from it. Do not even consider another partner unless they are serious about waiting to have an intimate relationship until marriage. Praying for you.

Relationship advice (Wasn't sure where to post this)

New Member

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33

New Member

❤️

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33

New Member

Well-Known Member

❤️

Regular Member

ThyWillBeDone

Active Member

Active Member

Active Member

Active Member

Similar threads