What is your love language?

Ah, that would make sense! The person I feel comfortable hugging is a very huggy person, the one I feel better about having words of affirmation from loves having words of affirmation so maybe that explains it. Thank you!

i like giving and making others happy and feel better because it makes me feel better that i made someone feel better haha physical touch um aheeeee lol i only like doing that with someone i'm in love with like husband boyfriend whatever but i guess there are other ways like hugging people and shaking thier hand or patting them on the back..sometimes i dont like hugging people though it feels funny um can we talk about physical touch again haha j.k

Physical touch & quality time are kind of a dual language for me...my idea of quality time involves physical touch, and physical touch turns time into quality time. One without the other is alright, but united is where I really felt loved when I had a girlfriend.

As for non-romantic relationships, ditch the physical touch, because even though I see hugs as essential in relationship, because I have a strong romantic connotation with physical touch, it gets awkward for people who I'm not interested in (although a female friend who I've long decided wouldn't be good to date gave me a hug last week, and I spent a few days attracted to her because of it).

Quality time is essential to friendships, specifically good conversations, and common interests, such as games we all like.

I've read the book, taken the quiz, and have concluded my love language is none of the 5. I know God loves me so I am trying to think how I experience that. I would say through His Word and reflecting on that. If you want to call that words of affirmation then so be it but I don't really feel love from people. I know I am loved but I have very stunted emotions. I don't feel a lot. Probably why I am single. Other than God's love I don't actively seek love from others. I try to love and serve but I am far more into giving than receiving.

NotUrAvgGuy said:

I've read the book, taken the quiz, and have concluded my love language is none of the 5. I know God loves me so I am trying to think how I experience that. I would say through His Word and reflecting on that. If you want to call that words of affirmation then so be it but I don't really feel love from people. I know I am loved but I have very stunted emotions. I don't feel a lot. Probably why I am single. Other than God's love I don't actively seek love from others. I try to love and serve but I am far more into giving than receiving.

Click to expand...

NotUrAvgGuy,did you write this song,by Simon and Garfunkel? It seems to describe you to a T.
Here are the lyrics.

"A winter's day
In a deep and dark
December
I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island

Don't talk of love
But I've heard the words before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island

I have my books (For example ,The Bible)
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries"

This is not meant to be an insult. For now on, everytime that I hear this song, I will think of you.

exitstageright said:

NotUrAvgGuy,did you write this song,by Simon and Garfunkel? It seems to describe you to a T.
Here are the lyrics.

"A winter's day
In a deep and dark
December
I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island

Don't talk of love
But I've heard the words before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island

I have my books (For example ,The Bible)
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries"

This is not meant to be an insult. For now on, everytime that I hear this song, I will think of you.

Click to expand...

No but I agree although I don't think I am trying to avoid pain at least not consciously. The other song, or at least part of a song, that I often think of is the line from the Pink Floyd song that says "I have become comfortably numb." I sometimes feel numb emotionally. Not truly just in certain areas. I am a very empathetic person and can love deeply just not so much in a romantic way. For whatever reason I don't really want anyone getting too close to me. I just like being alone...

I almost tried the quiz, but it required my information. I'm not doing that. For what purpose?

Andrew77 said:

I almost tried the quiz, but it required my information. I'm not doing that. For what purpose?

Click to expand...

So they can send you emails about it further explaining your love language.

Love languages aren't static. They can change based on your life season, mind and heart. Mine have shifted three times in one year. Right now it's Receiving Gifts. This parallels my emphasis on self-care and intentional spoiling. That's my theme for 2019.

blackribbon said:

And the purpose for understanding them is to focus on loving others, not to meet our own love need.

Click to expand...

I have never employed them in my connections. I seek the Holy Spirit's input instead. My complexity isn't boiled down to five categories and I don't assume that's true for others. But if it helps you that's fine.

I'm familiar with the message and have read several books in the series. Gary has spoken a few times at a local event. Suffice to say "I get it" but it isn't something I reference. You can glean a lot of that by listening and being present.

Hi Everyone! It has been a while. Love language ..... I have not looked back at my score in years but I remember the following: Words of Affirmation, Quality time and Acts of service. Two of those were a tie and one of them had a higher score. Just thought of sharing

Words of affirmation and physical touch.

Thank you for sharing.

It's an interesting topic. I read through all four pages of posts.

By understanding ourselves, we get to understand why other people respond differently to the kind of affection that we feel gratified with, when their love language does not correspond to ours. I did the test and I happened to have a high score for "acts of service" and "quality time," followed by a lower score for the rest. I suppose one language may not work as well as when they are combined together.

Interesting question. I had to look this love language thing up. I can't identify with any of them. This might explain a lot.

blackribbon said:

Gary Chapman wrote a book called Five Languages of Love. If you are not familiar with this book, it explains that we each have a "language" that we "hear" love in better than other ways. The 5 languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

If you don't know, you can go to their webpage and take a little survey and they will help you figure it out. Home - The 5 Love Languages®

I think it is important to understand the love language of those around us whom we love (not just significant others but children, parents, siblings, etc).

I also think it is important to understand our own love language ... just as a part of self awareness.

So...all that to ask, "What is your love language?"

Click to expand...

So here's the problem I have with all of this Love language thing: I had a look at Chapmans work before my marriage fell apart, and (unsuccessfully) tried to work things out surrounding it.
In the course of things I discovered that my primary love language is Physical Touch and that the other ways of loving are less important to me.
Now, and for 8 months before my marriage finally ended, I am in a situation (along with other touch people) where it is prohibited for me to be loved in this way.
All the other ways of being loved are socially acceptable from and to just about anybody and so I watch other people being perfectly happy, affirmed feeling loved etc while my need for touch makes me some sort of sicko.
What is with that?