Gossip within families

Christgirl67 · Jan 10, 2019

Is gossip within a family normal?Almost everyone in my family talks about each other's business, and I just think it is odd.Sometimes people in my family tell me negative things about a person, and I feel bad because I think it is wrong to discuss a person's business.What should I say or do when someone starts to gossip?

Mario David · Jan 10, 2019

You're family, gossip and jokes are OK but most important is support for each other. When gossiping just try to lead the conversation to something more positive.

Tharseo · Jan 10, 2019

Christgirl67 said:
Is gossip within a family normal?

Yes, in the secular world, but absolutely no, for any spiritually-thinking person.

Christgirl67 said:
What should I say or do when someone starts to gossip?

Don't talk. Don't join in. Shrug it off like nothing happen. If they ask you, tell them you don't know about it or say similar things like this. They will know that you don't like them.

If you listen to negative things of a person from others, what would happen if you actually meet the person? Sometimes we can't get off our subjective feelings. Maybe the person is not that bad. Those words you hear will make you imagine it.

I guess you are a family, but I want to share something about a sister I know. Her colleagues gossip a lot, but she never joins in. At first, people think she is weird and do not talk to her. But then, people realise that when something more serious happen and they need a more reliable person, they go and find her, talk to her and even reveal their secrets to her, just because they trust her that she will not gossip around their things. It makes you a trustworthy person if you do not gossip.

Serving Zion · Jan 10, 2019

Christgirl67 said:
Is gossip within a family normal?Almost everyone in my family talks about each other's business, and I just think it is odd.Sometimes people in my family tell me negative things about a person, and I feel bad because I think it is wrong to discuss a person's business.What should I say or do when someone starts to gossip?

The problem with gossip, is it leads you to form opinions about a person without their involvement. When people get comfortable doing that, knowing that the gossiped ideas will never have an opportunity to be discussed in the open, they can introduce misleading ideas and you end up believing things about a person that isn't true. Of course, that person doesn't know, and you don't know that you have believed a lie, but that is how the devil does his work.

So communities (eg: a family) that have gossip culture tend to also have a lot of devilish spirit and less inherent righteousness (because righteousness would rather approach that one with the concerns to say "I heard this about you and I just want to make sure you're on the right path". It's the opposite culture of love, when you look at it that way, because that's what love would do.

Have a good read of Psalms 101:

Pledge of Integrity
Psalm 101
1 A psalm of David.
I will sing of lovingkindness and justice.
To You, Adonai, I will sing praises.
2 I will behave wisely in the way of integrity
—when will You come to me?
I walk in my house with integrity in my heart.
3 No base thing will I set before my eyes.
Twisted behavior I hate—it will not cling to me.
4 A perverse heart will depart from me.
I will know nothing evil.
5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret
—him I will silence.
Who has haughty eyes and a proud heart
—him I will not tolerate.
6 My eyes are on the trustworthy of the land,
to be in my company.
One walking in a blameless way will serve me.
7 No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house.
No one who utters lies will endure before my eyes.
8 Each morning I silence all the land’s wicked ones—
to cut off from Adonai’s city every evildoer.

Christgirl67 · Jan 10, 2019

Serving Zion said:
The problem with gossip, is it leads you to form opinions about a person without their involvement. When people get comfortable doing that, knowing that the gossiped ideas will never have an opportunity to be discussed in the open, they can introduce misleading ideas and you end up believing things about a person that isn't true. Of course, that person doesn't know, and you don't know that you have believed a lie, but that is how the devil does his work.

So communities (eg: a family) that have gossip culture tend to also have a lot of devilish spirit and less inherent righteousness (because righteousness would rather approach that one with the concerns to say "I heard this about you and I just want to make sure you're on the right path". It's the opposite culture of love, when you look at it that way, because that's what love would do.

Have a good read of Psalms 101:

Pledge of Integrity
Psalm 101
1 A psalm of David.
I will sing of lovingkindness and justice.
To You, Adonai, I will sing praises.
2 I will behave wisely in the way of integrity
—when will You come to me?
I walk in my house with integrity in my heart.
3 No base thing will I set before my eyes.
Twisted behavior I hate—it will not cling to me.
4 A perverse heart will depart from me.
I will know nothing evil.
5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret
—him I will silence.
Who has haughty eyes and a proud heart
—him I will not tolerate.
6 My eyes are on the trustworthy of the land,
to be in my company.
One walking in a blameless way will serve me.
7 No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house.
No one who utters lies will endure before my eyes.
8 Each morning I silence all the land’s wicked ones—
to cut off from Adonai’s city every evildoer.

Thanks for the explanation, I never saw it that way.

whereloveandmercymeet · Jan 11, 2019

I suppose it’s the difference between gossip and sharing ‘family news’ that determines if it’s good or bad really. If its things that (good or bad) the person wanted shared (updates on their children, if they’re unwell and want prayer etc it’s good for a family to talk about. We tend to do a lot of that in my family because we are quite close.

There are, however, the few in my family that gossip about so and sos argument with her husband or whatnot. While very common, that’s the point that I close my ears to it all. Not just as a Christian but I think ‘if it were me’. Would I want that information shared, even with family?

Not to mention the silly squabbles between family members that can turn into big things with a little gossip and then people taking sides.

If you’re in a position to with the people saying bad things you could try saying ‘I’d rather hear something nice about (person being gossiped about)’, or try and steer the talk to something positive and not gossipy about that person like how much you like them or a good memory of them. If you can’t really say much to them just close your ears and mind to it.

Dave-W · Jan 17, 2019

Paul is the scripture author who talks about and forbids gossip. He was also trained as a Pharisee. So to understand what exactly he is forbidding, go back to the source. He is breaking down to new gentile believers the prohibition of something called “lashon harah.” The Evil Tongue.

If you want to know what all was involved with that, do a google search on the term.

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Gossip within families

Christgirl67

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Mario David

In GOD I trust

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Tharseo

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Serving Zion

Seek First His Kingdom & Righteousness

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Christgirl67

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whereloveandmercymeet

There but for the grace of God...

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Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!

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