hi everyone,
I have become a born again Christian earlier last year. I still have faith but I am doubting Gods character. This past week has been a big struggle for me. I have been reading a lot of the OT and it’s confusing to me. God seems “bi polar” in a way but I know that’s because I don’t understand.
I had a nightmare I was getting tortured and I said “where is God during this?” Then I woke up and thought things like “where was God during the holocause?” And I have been having doubts since then.
Can someone help me out? Where’s God during suffering? How can I not doubt like this?
I KNOW that God loves us more than anyone and that he doesn’t want anyone to suffer. Then another part of me thinks he abandons us and could care less, which I know isn’t true. I can’t help but think it. I am doubting Gods character and it’s making me really sad. I am looking at him like a tyrant and I don’t want to. It’s not his fault we choose to do evil.
I feel like I am in a constant war within myself with light clashing with dark, and on the days when I feel more darkness it’s so difficult for me. This inward battle drives me crazy. It reminds me of the book of Romans. I relate so much of what Paul explained.
