Why is showing emotion looked down upon?

Dave-W

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Crying over death is not looked down upon. Crying over a boo boo is embarrassing to witness.
Crying over a death is certainly dissed in certain Christian circles. (Not mine)

I would suggest the embarrassment is more cultural than innate. It is not how God made us.
 
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Dave-W

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We discern each other’s feelings at the visceral level first and foremost.
I am not sure who you mean by “we,” but on that front I am usually very clueless.
 
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SolomonVII

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Crying over a death is certainly dissed in certain Christian circles. (Not mine)

I would suggest the embarrassment is more cultural than innate. It is not how God made us.
Crying can be very emotionally manipulative on behalf of the one crying tears. Hence the disdain. Moreover,the less seriously we take other people intellectually, the more it is socially permissible for them to cry in public.
Sure, there is cultural components to it too. That is not a reason to dismiss that. Cultures have developed over millennium as effective responses to life situations.


I am not sure who you mean by “we,” but on that front I am usually very clueless.
By “we” I mean humans. But really, even dogs are very adept at reading emotional cues. Infants are absolute masters at it.
Being clueless is a big problem too. It is very hard sometimes to distinguish whether the origin of the emotion is from our own state of being , or whether we are experiencing what the other is feeling, through empathy.
 
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SolomonVII

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An example may come from Homeland Season II. The man comes back from Iraq, entering as an excited marine, coming back to his family broken by eight years of pain and torture. His whole broken being is then reconstructed by the MB masters into becoming a secret Muslim with a mission of jihad against the presidency. His daughter on the phone finally touches his heart to where he could take his (unseen) suicide vest off.

His new religion though was real enough and she accepted that with pleasure.

But what she could not differentiate was his pain from her own once she emotionally touched him in his darkest hour, which he would never reveal the real secret to her
Without the reasons why his emotional state is such an abyss, she experiences his pain viscerally as her own, clueless even. She did not need his tears at this point, which are the product of a tortured body reconstructed into a terrorist anyway. There is nothing real there anymore. But she felt the pain that was his reality just by touching him; tears are irrelevant at this point. What is necessary now is to know the truth about what happened, in order that she can save herself first.
To touch some people emotionally is to enter into their hell. It is always good to know more, so that we can know why are bodies are reacting as they are, with such emotion.

There is no shame in flight response at this point either. Some people's hell can swallow us.
 
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UnprofitableServant

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I just do not understand this concept at all.I understand men and women have different ways of expressing emotions,but I find it odd that society paints anyone having emotions,especially crying,as something to be ashamed or embarassed of.What happened to being compassionate and understanding all people express pain or handle emotions differently.
I think a lot of the confusion is how opposite the world views emotions, from what you shared. From how I see it, people encourage people to be emotional or else they are not being compassionate, loving, etc. This, however, isn't a requirement for genuine love or compassion.

I think the trick is when people hold onto emotions, or think, "wow, this person is really emotional about this, so that means it must be true..." Even with crying, how many times have we cried because we wanted others to feel sorry for us and/or we wanted to get away with something we know was wrong but didn't want to fes up too? This type of emotionalism is deceiving and can lead to a bad form of manipulation.

What we need is to have an honest look at ourselves from a rational perspective, and not let the emotional side of us cloud the obvious truth that is going on. Like I said above, just because someone isn't 'sounding' emotional, that doesn't mean they were not being compassionate and loving. To shoe genuine compassion and love, we need to have actions. Take Jesus for example. Always when the scriptures said, "He felt compassion for the multitudes", led Him to do something nice for them. However, this wasn't always the case... There was a time a group of people were following Him not because of His teachings, rather all they wanted was the bread that they could get from Him (similar to what prosperity preachers do today. With the bread being change to money). So instead of having compassion with the multitudes, He rebuked them for their wrong behavior. Jesus didn't let the emotions of a group of people sway Him from His rational thinking, which allowed Him to see the bad motives these people had.

The answer is finding balance between our rational side and our emotional side. We don't let emotions cloud our rational thinking, and we don't allow our rational side to overlook obvious emotions we are feeling.

At least, this is my opinion.
 
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Dave-W

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StrivingFollower

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And crying. I dont like crying in front of people, but when i weep i feel very close to God.
Some of the most intense connections I've felt to God, I cried in. Sometimes his presence feels so vivid, the awe just breaks my self-control. It's like I'm possessed by the emotion.
 
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W2L

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Some of the most intense connections I've felt to God, I cried in. Sometimes his presence feels so vivid, the awe just breaks my self-control. It's like I'm possessed by the emotion.
God is near the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34
 
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SkyWriting

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I just do not understand this concept at all.I understand men and women have different ways of expressing emotions,but I find it odd that society paints anyone having emotions,especially crying,as something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. What happened to being compassionate and understanding all people express pain or handle emotions differently.
I was not aware anyone did this. Sometimes crying is looked at with suspicion.
 
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Tharseo

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Expressing sorrow has nothing wrong. It is the carnal mind of us that thinks it is something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. On the contrary, those who mourn are blessed in the eye of God (Matthew 5:4) (Do note that this verse is talking about godly sorrow, not worldly sorrow. See 2 Corinthians 7:10).

But being emotional is another thing. It usually leads to bad decisions.
 
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RDKirk

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Crying over death is not looked down upon. Crying over a boo boo is embarrassing to witness.

A woman who had lost her son in the Persian Gulf war met and related that to then-active General Colin Powell. He openly wept with her in her grief, and all of us in the military respected him for that.
 
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Christgirl67

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Expressing sorrow has nothing wrong. It is the carnal mind of us that thinks it is something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. On the contrary, those who mourn are blessed in the eye of God (Matthew 5:4) (Do note that this verse is talking about godly sorrow, not worldly sorrow. See 2 Corinthians 7:10).

But being emotional is another thing. It usually leads to bad decisions.
I can agree with that.Sometimes its difficult to know if you are making a decision based on emotion or what you know is right.
 
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Tharseo

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Jeremiah 17:9-The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
Does this verse relate to emotions?

Why does this verse relate to emotions? Do you mean emotions are something comes from our deceitful and wicked heart?
 
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yeshuaslavejeff

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Jeremiah 17:9-The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
Does this verse relate to emotions?
Yes, and to ideas, thoughts, dreams, doctrines, dogmas, teachings, practices, of the church, and outside the church.
 
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yeshuaslavejeff

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Why does this verse relate to emotions? Do you mean emotions are something comes from our deceitful and wicked heart?
Perhaps that is what Jesus teaches. At least, most emotions are deceitful, misleading, as written throughout all Scripture.
They are not to be followed. Emotions are not a guide. Not a teacher of what is right and wrong.
In fact, somewhere it is written they are crucified! (at least worldly , carnal emotions / the old nature of man/ must be crucified - they cannot be 'fixed')
 
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Tharseo

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I can agree with that.Sometimes its difficult to know if you are making a decision based on emotion or what you know is right.

You can, and you must, know what your decision is based on. Be still and be silent before the Lord and listen to the Spirit.

Perhaps that is what Jesus teaches. At least, most emotions are deceitful, misleading, as written throughout all Scripture.
They are not to be followed. Emotions are not a guide. Not a teacher of what is right and wrong.
In fact, somewhere it is written they are crucified! (at least worldly , carnal emotions / the old nature of man/ must be crucified - they cannot be 'fixed')

I don't think it is scriptural to say emotions are deceitful. Some are, some are not (See 2 Corinthians 7:10). Sometimes emotions came from the Spirit to lead you to do certain things (Ezra 10:6). Nevertheless decisions are usually supported by rational thinking.

Edit: I mean "good" decisions are usually supported by rational thinking.
 
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