Hello everyone, I am asking for prayers because my parents just had a huge argument that ended with tears from my mother. My dad got upset over something small and stupid and it ended up becoming a full blown yelling fest. I interviens and tried to be the metiator. I feel so terrible awful because I cursed and I never use foul language but my dad making my mom that upset pushed me over the edge. She decided to go to sleep and now my dads watching tv. I cannot communicate how extremely angered I am. My dad came in the office to speak to me trying to basically say it was my moms fault too but I am a very expressional person ( when I’m mad u can tell, or sad, happy etc) he got mad that I had an attitude. My dad is over the argument now but my mom is so upset. They both said things they didn’t mean and I just pray the Lord fixes this. On top of being stressed now I am extremely angered. Thank u guys
I know it's difficult to deal with all the emotions of parents fighting. But honestly, you seem to have described typical feelings.
Dad's are usually quicker to get over anger and hurt feelings: they get angry or hurt feelings, but dad's are more like water off a ducks back, they get over it all very quickly.
Mom's on the other hand have longer memories and it takes mom's a couple days of dealing with their emotions once their feelings are hurt, and that's okay too.
For me (as I'm a mom) it's 3 days of dealing with my emotions before I can talk about something which upset me, if I talk sooner I'm not as rational as I could be even without having the hurt feelings of a fight on top of everything. So give your mom room to have her feelings, she needs it.
As for you. It's perfectly normal to want to protect your mom. Both my son and my daughter were the same way from a very young age; wanting to protect me from any thing that might hurt me.
I'm positive there are tons of emotions involved in that which you need to deal with just like your mom needs to.
The first thing to remember is that all of you love one another, that means the fight will be resolved eventually.
The biggest lesson in adulting (no matter your age) is that sometimes people who love each other will disagree with one another and at times those disagreements can turn ugly with actual fighting, yelling and hurt feelings involved.
In a couple days (2 or 3) after you allow your feelings time to settle down (so that you can talk about how this made you feel without it bringing up fresh feelings of hurt/pain in your heart) sit and talk to your parents about how fighting like this made you feel.
They need to know they are hurting you and it seems perhaps they aren't giving that enough consideration. So do sit and talk with them when your feeling less pain inside.
In the end, this is just a part of life. People don't always agree and disagreements can lead to irrational behavior at times. There are ways for YOU to learn how to avoid fighting:
namely don't talk to people you love about things they did which hurt you for 2 or 3 days until your not hurting anymore, or even writing a letter, then put that letter aside for a day or two (without giving it to the other person involved) then going back later, reread and make sure your not saying anything that can potentially hurt the other persons feelings. (My daughter and I used to have our disagreements via letters back and forth.. lol)
But you need to know you can't change someone else. All you can do is make sure your behaviour is appropriate and not causing harm but rather causing healing when there is disagreement.
This means you can't fix your parents, you can't make them act in more appropriate ways if they don't want to. All you can do is share with them how this behavior affects you, then leave it in their hands to deal with their own behavior the way they see fit - and they might not always agree with you, or be able to stop their own irrational behavior.
In the meantime, even though it's hard, put in your earbuds, get on your MP3 player (or whatever you have) and listen to something positive when your parents fight. Praise and worship music is a positive thing. Just try and tune out the fighting and tune in something happy whenever you need and allow your parents to work out their problems on their own. Pray your way through it and know God is with you, right there by your side and He will give you the strength you need to bear your emotional pain.
Ask God to be with you, and I will too.
I'll be praying for all of you dear. Much love in Christ.
