what are you feeling right now? (24)

Tempura · Dec 21, 2018

GRACEOFGOD3 said:
my heart hurts

Try to take it easy, sister. Get some meds if you have to. Said a prayer for you.

Lily76_ · Dec 21, 2018

thank you

Jeshu · Dec 21, 2018

GRACEOFGOD3 said:
my heart hurts

i know so well what you mean when you say that, a horrid place to be. Please don't forget to share your reality with Jesus. He knows all about heart pain and has the best cure ever - His loving care over you.

Praying you find Him in your distress

TimAM · Dec 22, 2018

It's been a while since I've been here. Just thought I'd drop by and say hi to everyone. My depression has been up and down all year. Currently in a downward period again. Everyone around me is happy and things are looking up for everyone, except me. I'm happy for them, but it feels like my world is dark. My depression type has been described as "Functional depression", or "Walking depression". I've been able to work with it, I just bottle it up on the inside and not let anyone see. Here lately, it's been getting harder to get out of bed. I may be slipping into major depression.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Hieronymus · Dec 22, 2018

The dark season sure takes its toll this year...
Thankfully the days will start to lengthen again soon.
But the contrast between me and the people around me is big again.
I am definitely in a depression again...

Jeshu · Dec 22, 2018

TimAM said:
It's been a while since I've been here. Just thought I'd drop by and say hi to everyone. My depression has been up and down all year. Currently in a downward period again. Everyone around me is happy and things are looking up for everyone, except me. I'm happy for them, but it feels like my world is dark. My depression type has been described as "Functional depression", or "Walking depression". I've been able to work with it, I just bottle it up on the inside and not let anyone see. Here lately, it's been getting harder to get out of bed. I may be slipping into major depression.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Good to see you again brother :wave:

not good to see you are down again. :hug:

Praying Jesus passes you the ability to cope. :prayer:

Jeshu · Dec 22, 2018

Hieronymus said:
The dark season sure takes its toll this year...
Thankfully the days will start to lengthen again soon.
But the contrast between me and the people around me is big again.
I am definitely in a depression again...

Sorry to hear you are suffering from depression again. The Winter months can become very dark then. Don't forget to take vitamin D3 to compensate for the loss of Sun light.

Hoping you stay on top of it.

Hieronymus · Dec 22, 2018

Jeshu said:
Sorry to hear you are suffering from depression again. The Winter months can become very dark then. Don't forget to take vitamin D3 to compensate for the loss of Sun light.

Hoping you stay on top of it.

It'll probably be better in a few weeks or so.
Usually when the holiday "happiness" is over i'm doing better again.
Thanks.

grandvizier1006 · Dec 22, 2018

Hello, everyone. It's been a while since I posted in this thread, but I'm still around. I graduated from college about a week ago, and I have no idea what to do with my life right now. It's Christmas but I'm incredibly bored and I tend to get more anxious or depressed when I have nothing to do or few people to interact with.

BlessedMommy05 · Dec 22, 2018

chaoticfirefly said:
I'm so sorry for your loss [/QUOTE

thank you forgive me for my late reply. been battling depression and trying to keep every day task stuff straight is a a challenge. I do ask for prayer from fellow believers it's a long explication which I need be on my computer, please pray my body continues to process salt the blood thank you

TimAM · Dec 23, 2018

Thank you for the prayers and encouraging words.

Tempura · Dec 23, 2018

Glad to see all of you guys back, even though I'd hope everyone would feel better. But stay strong people. God bless you.

Press On · Dec 23, 2018

TimAM & grandvizier1006.......good to hear from you both again. Prayers and love to you both. :hug:

LoyalToGod · Dec 23, 2018

Tempura said:
I think I understood what he meant. He means that instead of just sinning and feeling like we're being punished for it, God can do something more than leave us in that miserable state. He knows when we repent, just like you repented about treating your neighbor badly, and God can turn it into something good for both you and your neighbor.

I'm using myself as an example: I treated a friend badly. I felt bad about it. Next time I saw that person, I didn't feel any hate towards him, and I apologized for my behavior. He forgave me. Our friendship became stronger that it was before, and I could think of God as a merciful God, who can turn bad things into good things instead of just punishing people and doing nothing else. So even my faith became stronger. Sometimes it takes patience, and sometimes people don't forgive you quickly or you don't forgive them quickly, but it'll come. I hope you don't feel like you're being punished. It's enough if we know what we've done wrong and repent in our hearts.

Hope you're feeling better, Sister. Oh and hey, I heard you liked luchador wrestling. Have you seen Nacho Libre? It's one of the best feel-good movies I've ever seen. There's a bit of wrestling in that one, they're wrestling to save orphans! If I ever feel bad or frustrated, that movie will snap me right back into a good mood.

Thank you for translating what Jeshu said, and I watched Nacho Libre in the past.

LoyalToGod · Dec 23, 2018

In the meantime, I'm in a dilemma: I'm considering starting a bank account for personal reasons, yet at the same time, my mom keeps warning me that I'll "lose my SSI check". What to do?

chaoticfirefly · Dec 24, 2018

Dad's getting meaner and meaner.

I don't think I actually spoke to him since I got here, except when he lectured me on my inability to do math. And today, when he hinted that I was stupid because I can't do numbers.

And he ran over something and said, "Whoops. Hope that wasn't cat. That'd be upsetting for firefly, huh?" and tried to torment me and mom by driving a little recklessly. And as I was dozing off on the way home, he purposely drove on the bumps in the road that alerts drivers they're getting to the center and in the oncoming lane. When mom asked why he was doing that, he said he was making sure I was awake.

And today/yesterday, I got yelled at because wow, I have autonomy and didn't want to attend service of a man who talks and encourages the congregation to kill cats! I don't mind attending services out of respect, but I refuse to attend one taught by a...thing that actively encourages harm on a creature believed to be a creation of god! But I have to attend christmas service tonight (mom promised its just singing).

Two more weeks and I'll be back at school.

So I'm a mix of angry and depressed.

Tempura · Dec 24, 2018

Merry Christmas everyone!

Press On · Dec 24, 2018

chaoticfirefly said:
Dad's getting meaner and meaner.

I don't think I actually spoke to him since I got here, except when he lectured me on my inability to do math. And today, when he hinted that I was stupid because I can't do numbers.

And he ran over something and said, "Whoops. Hope that wasn't cat. That'd be upsetting for firefly, huh?" and tried to torment me and mom by driving a little recklessly. And as I was dozing off on the way home, he purposely drove on the bumps in the road that alerts drivers they're getting to the center and in the oncoming lane. When mom asked why he was doing that, he said he was making sure I was awake.

And today/yesterday, I got yelled at because wow, I have autonomy and didn't want to attend service of a man who talks and encourages the congregation to kill cats! I don't mind attending services out of respect, but I refuse to attend one taught by a...thing that actively encourages harm on a creature believed to be a creation of god! But I have to attend christmas service tonight (mom promised its just singing).

Two more weeks and I'll be back at school.

So I'm a mix of angry and depressed.

I truly wish I could give you a big fatherly (or in my case grandfatherly...lol!) hug. But my arms aren’t that long.

I have endured the pain you feel but yours is worse. One nice thing about retirement is that I have a lot more freedom as to who I allow in my life.

I have had to completely cut ties with some siblings (9 years now) because of verbal/emotional abuse. Actually, I should have done it way back in 1975 when I was about your age, but I loved them and wanted to continue the relationship to my own peril. I seem to be outliving them at this point; only 2 out of 6 of us left.

The difficult (but most rewarding part) is to respect yourself enough not to be a scapegoat or target for mean spirited or mentally ill people who refuse to recognize how their behavior affects others yet harbor no ill will against them. That takes a strong character and a LOT of courage.

I am going through a similar situation right now with a musical collegue. He is increasingly abusive and difficult to get along with and drinks too much. It didn’t used to be this way. Been with him two years now. He is ill physically and refuses to get help. Also has anger issues. I have had to confront him firmly yet respectfully a number of times without getting into the gutter with him exchanging curses and threats. Now, he is losing his band. What goes around comes around. I have two more gigs booked with him and me and my bandmates are expecting friction, but I am a person who keeps his commitments. But that’s it. I make more money being a substitute musician anyway.

I used to love this man as a brother and we were close but he slowly killed it. His wife is wonderful; I will miss her.

As soon as you can, establish your own life, friends, skills and interests, and remove yourself from those who don’t care about you. Life is too short. But don’t hate them. That is a poison that will harm you.

I have said this before. I have confidence in you. You are intelligent and thoughtful. You are doing well in school in learning the things close to your heart, and you have identified the areas you need improvement. You will be successful once you get established. Don’t let anger and depression bog you down. Easier said than done as I am in the midst of my own battle with depression right now.
Much love and prayers.

Press On · Dec 24, 2018

Tempura, Merry Chrisrmas to you as well, my dear friend!

Here’s a photo from a couple weeks ago when I was playing in a band I have been filling in on the drums with.

The band leader had his wife take this shot while I was playing away. He was standing slightly behind me on my blind side (I’m blind in my left eye) and I didn’t see it.

We all had a good laugh over it. I just finished with these guys after 2 months. Their regular drummer was hurt in a motorcycle wreck but is ready to return. Great Christian guy. I’m gonna miss these folks but made some good friends.

Thank you, Tempura, for being there for me along with Jeshu. I’m havin’ a tough time right now and your PMs are a blessing!

Tempura · Dec 24, 2018

Press On said:
The band leader had his wife take this shot while I was playing away. He was standing slightly behind me on my blind side (I’m blind in my left eye) and I didn’t see it.

Good picture. You had no idea!

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