You need to read everything I write and not assume the wrong thing. Nowhere am I suggesting that a spouse stay in an abusive relationship. I was suggestion a separation of living far away. I was saying that if they flee and do not divorce and they seek God's help, and yet they are still persecuted for their faith by standing by what they believe to be right in the Word of God on marriage and divorce, they are not in the wrong.
Do you believe in using guns to protect yourself?
This is kind of like what I am talking about here.
Many Christians today believe in self defense or using guns.
This relates to my point that we are to trust God's Word by faith in what it says even if we might be persecuted or attacked for obeying His Word. This does not mean we are seeking to run into harm's way. No, no. Most certainly not. What I am saying is that we as believers need to stay true to God's Word no matter the cost. Sure, we should be as innocent as doves and as wise as serpents, and not try to put ourselves in any harm's way. But if God wants to protect us, He can certainly most do that. If God is calling us to be persecuted, there is not much we can do to escape that if that His will. The point here is that we as believers have to walk by faith and not by sight. Loving God and our neighbor is our top priority in this life. We do not always do what the world does. Being a Christian does not mean we will have our best life now always. We are bought and paid for with a price.
I have been through a divorce where my wife deserted me. I held out for reconciliation for a long while until she said adamantly that there was no hope of reconciliation because there was nothing more between us. She then went to a Presbyterian counsellor who did not believe in the Resurrection, virgin birth, or that God was a real Person. I don't think that helped. Then once she engaged a lawyer and contacted social services, she changed her story to deflect the truth that she walked out of our marriage because she just didn't want to be married to me any longer.
The grief that I experienced and the seven years of storm and stress after that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I became more opposed to divorce than I ever was.
Then I found out after some years that she had met someone else and had married again. At the end of the seven years, I met my present wife, a widow, and we have been married for 28 great years now.
I believe that although I failed a number of times in relationships because I tried to meet my need for a new partner in my own way, and God had to bail me out by telling me, "This is not the woman for you", and at one stage telling me straight that if I continued in a certain relationship He would no longer be with me, but if I moved to a new city to do my university degree where I knew no one, He would be waiting there for me. The next day I was on my way, and He was there waiting for me.
I believe that when I told God I was giving up on trying to find another relationship, three months later I met my present wife and He said, "She's the one for you." I realised later that this was after my first wife had married again. The fact that she had married again, released me from any bondage to that first marriage and free to remarry.
My second marriage restored to me double everything I lost through my divorce, and my domestic life and my life in the Lord has been much more blessed. I married a widow, therefore I did not cause anyone to commit adultery by marrying me.
i believe that through the remarriage of my wife, this satisfied the unfaithfulness reason for acceptable divorce and the freedom to remarry.
It is interesting that I have a friend who walked out of her marriage in a way similar to what my first wife did to me. She went through severe guilt and ran away from God. After some time, she had a dream or vision, I don't know what, of God running after her crying, "Let me forgive you! Let me forgive you!" That changed my whole attitude and I realised that if God was forgiving her then He had forgiven my first wife and I had no reason to be bitter over her. That was God's way of showing me that He had forgiven her and that I should pray for her every time I thought of her. I have had dreams about her, and these have been signals that I should pray for her right away. I'm sure that God had a particular reason why I needed to pray for her right after that dream.
Everytime I have received condemnation "bombs" about my divorce and remarriage, I have gone to God about it, and have been deluged with Scriptures about His grace and mercy and promises that no matter what has happened to me, He is still with me and loves me. He also reminded me about the miraculous times He turned me back to Him during my storm and stress years when I had rejected my previous mentors and decided to go it alone and live the life of my own choosing. He turned me around, put me right toward sanctified conduct, and then brought me back into good Christian fellowship, and a new wife who brought further blessing into my life.
If I was counselling a couple having marriage problems I would strongly encourage them to have faith and trust in God that He will see them through to stability and blessing if they "hung in there" through the difficult times, believed in each other and the Lord, and faced their problems together instead of putting the knife into each other.
I believe that if my first wife had sought to trust God and worked with me to get through the difficult times instead of putting the knife into me and blaming me or the marriage for the problems, then we would still be married today.