When I am around you I am painfully aware of the fact that I am inadequate when it comes to other women. It is not easy for me to socialize with people because of all what has happened in my life.
As a teenager I remember hearing a pastor saying how a man cheated on his wife, because he had a coworker who kept on encouraging him when he did things, while his wife was not.
Even as a teen I remember this bothering me because complimenting people, engaging with others meaningful is not natural to me, it is extremely difficult and I feared this would happen to me.
Jesus Christ has shown me that the root of my concern was in regards to my good friend in college who you really liked and you kept pushing me away to spend time with her. God has shown me that she was not suppose to sit where we were, and he was not happy about it.
This occurrence made me to realize that in your eyes I am dispensable, that if you see a woman who you consider to have everything (is pretty, popular, sociable etc) that you will easily push me aside.
With my ex best friend I see the same happening. This is where you push me away to spend time with her, because you enjoy her company more than me. This is evident as you keep in constant communication with her leaving me out. When we go anywhere in public you often leave me by myself while when you see my ex best friend you automatically go to her and hug her warmly and sit with her spending time with her.
Despite what Jesus Christ has been repeatedly showing you about my ex best friend and the situation occurring, you believe that I am controlling because I am telling you not to speak with particular persons. The truth is I should not have to tell you to stop talking to particular persons and I will not do it again.
On your own you should be able to know when to distance yourself from some other people for example persons who continually laugh at me, make fun of me etc If you had a friend who made fun of your mom you would be angry and you wouldn't speak to those persons. You would be extremely upset.
While with me, the woman who God has placed into your life to be your wife you have no problem hanging out with persons who laugh at me, who talk bad about me, you even are in agreement with them. Something is wrong with that picture. If you really love and care about someone, when anyone treats that person bad you would be defending that someone, making it absolutely clear that this is unacceptable. This is what you do for my ex best friend and other friends you have.
As a result of what is happening I cannot be in your life. I do not want to go where you are, or be around you, because I know in your heart of hearts you rather be with other persons than me, which is obviously clear. I also cannot be in the life of someone who enjoys spending time with others who treat me bad.
Time and time again you have shown very clearly that you can talk to whomever you want etc, and gets upset at me, when I complain about persons who you talk to well who ill treats me etc. I should not have to tell you not to associate with some persons.
On your own you should have enough insight to realize that you cannot continue to be in the life of persons in a meaningful way, who does everything to make me feel bad about myself, and have me in your life at the same time. Time and time again you have chose those persons over me, you have made it clear so many times, that your relationship with those persons are much more important to you, than me.
I will not ask you to choose anymore between me and anyone else, less you blame me for "controlling you", and preventing you from hanging out with your friends and significant other you who want to hang out with.
Jesus Christ has shown me that some of my alters have still friends with my ex best friend. This is not because she is a good person, but because my alters want to believe that she is a friend, when I know deep in my heart that she and other former high school friends, are not my friend, but hates me and finds me annoying.
This is why some of my alters treat her as a friend. It is the way for me to cope being around former high school classmates that I know truly hate me.
About 2 to 3 days ago by dream, God has shown me that your mother was sending me a message saying that "her son (you) would not do things to make me angry anymore". You can ask your mother about this. When I was crying out to God about the situation I am in with you, she herself was in distress because she understood, that what you are doing is wrong, and as a result she is praying for you on her behalf.
There is nothing more for me to say to you. You have made your choice a long time ago, and I respect your decisions, because only you can determine who is involved in your life, not me. God does not infringe on anyone's free will, and I will not infringe on anyone's free will including your own.
As a teenager I remember hearing a pastor saying how a man cheated on his wife, because he had a coworker who kept on encouraging him when he did things, while his wife was not.
Even as a teen I remember this bothering me because complimenting people, engaging with others meaningful is not natural to me, it is extremely difficult and I feared this would happen to me.
Jesus Christ has shown me that the root of my concern was in regards to my good friend in college who you really liked and you kept pushing me away to spend time with her. God has shown me that she was not suppose to sit where we were, and he was not happy about it.
This occurrence made me to realize that in your eyes I am dispensable, that if you see a woman who you consider to have everything (is pretty, popular, sociable etc) that you will easily push me aside.
With my ex best friend I see the same happening. This is where you push me away to spend time with her, because you enjoy her company more than me. This is evident as you keep in constant communication with her leaving me out. When we go anywhere in public you often leave me by myself while when you see my ex best friend you automatically go to her and hug her warmly and sit with her spending time with her.
Despite what Jesus Christ has been repeatedly showing you about my ex best friend and the situation occurring, you believe that I am controlling because I am telling you not to speak with particular persons. The truth is I should not have to tell you to stop talking to particular persons and I will not do it again.
On your own you should be able to know when to distance yourself from some other people for example persons who continually laugh at me, make fun of me etc If you had a friend who made fun of your mom you would be angry and you wouldn't speak to those persons. You would be extremely upset.
While with me, the woman who God has placed into your life to be your wife you have no problem hanging out with persons who laugh at me, who talk bad about me, you even are in agreement with them. Something is wrong with that picture. If you really love and care about someone, when anyone treats that person bad you would be defending that someone, making it absolutely clear that this is unacceptable. This is what you do for my ex best friend and other friends you have.
As a result of what is happening I cannot be in your life. I do not want to go where you are, or be around you, because I know in your heart of hearts you rather be with other persons than me, which is obviously clear. I also cannot be in the life of someone who enjoys spending time with others who treat me bad.
Time and time again you have shown very clearly that you can talk to whomever you want etc, and gets upset at me, when I complain about persons who you talk to well who ill treats me etc. I should not have to tell you not to associate with some persons.
On your own you should have enough insight to realize that you cannot continue to be in the life of persons in a meaningful way, who does everything to make me feel bad about myself, and have me in your life at the same time. Time and time again you have chose those persons over me, you have made it clear so many times, that your relationship with those persons are much more important to you, than me.
I will not ask you to choose anymore between me and anyone else, less you blame me for "controlling you", and preventing you from hanging out with your friends and significant other you who want to hang out with.
Jesus Christ has shown me that some of my alters have still friends with my ex best friend. This is not because she is a good person, but because my alters want to believe that she is a friend, when I know deep in my heart that she and other former high school friends, are not my friend, but hates me and finds me annoying.
This is why some of my alters treat her as a friend. It is the way for me to cope being around former high school classmates that I know truly hate me.
About 2 to 3 days ago by dream, God has shown me that your mother was sending me a message saying that "her son (you) would not do things to make me angry anymore". You can ask your mother about this. When I was crying out to God about the situation I am in with you, she herself was in distress because she understood, that what you are doing is wrong, and as a result she is praying for you on her behalf.
There is nothing more for me to say to you. You have made your choice a long time ago, and I respect your decisions, because only you can determine who is involved in your life, not me. God does not infringe on anyone's free will, and I will not infringe on anyone's free will including your own.