I need some advice

Thnkful

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Hi Lyndsey, I recently started a Bible Study called the Armour of God. The author is Patricia Shirer. It is centered on Ephesians. I highly recommend it for enveloping protection and confidence in facing the struggles like you describe. And that I have in common with you. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior many years ago but as this study reminds me, spiritual warfare doesnt take a day off nor a holiday. We need the full armour of God and must put it daily. I alxo listen to Christian radio and notice that the worship and praise songs are playing in my head and heart even when the radio is not on or I am "fussing" about something in the other part of my mind. I just need to tunein :). If you try out the Ephesians Bible study I would be honored if you wanted to share the encouragement with each other as we work our way through it.
 
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lindseystark

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Hi Lindsey,
This is John's wife Anne. The battle for the mind, is something the enemy continue to attacks at. As my husband said taking every thought captive is an important thing to learn, he just ignores it. I had to learn to immediately say this out loud, when my thoughts would go the wrong way earlier in my walk. The battle was for years. Right now the devil knows you dwell on them, that is not what you want to do :), instead you want to take the thought captive quickly and replace it with a scripture that lifts you up. For example, I would say I take this thought captive in Jesus name, and then I would say that God does not give me a Spirit of Fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind. Or Proverbs 18:10 "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runneth into it and are safe. " What I went through, I came to understand, that the enemies attacks, where always to try and cause division. Division between me and the Lord, thinking that my thought was so bad, and sinful, how could God love me, so instead, I would also ask the Lord to forgive me the bad thought immediately and would believe that he did forgive me. That the enemy didn't want me to be close to God, and once you realize how he is attacking, you break what he is doing, by taking the thoughts captive and drawing closer to God. God has good plans for you. He loves you. As someone else suggested, fasting and prayer will also help. I find when I fast, that I hear clearer for God for direction, and I have seen him do miracles in people's lives. I have fasted no meats, and no sweets for 7 days or 30 days. I have also done just liquids for 3-5 days. I would like to pray for you. Dear Lord, you know the struggle that Lindsey has been going through. I pray a hedge of protection over her mind, soul, body and spirit. I pray Lord for you to break every chain and yoke of the enemy. I pray Lord for your Shalom peace to fill her up and for her to know that she knows that Jesus loves her, and wants good for her. I pray for healing of her emotions of things she has gone through in the past. I pray Lord that now that she is married, that her husband would desire to seek after you and to know you Lord. I pray that you would bring Christians in her life that would help her to grow in her walk with you and pray for her marriage. God I know that nothing is impossible for you, and I pray you remove all thoughts that go against your word, and that she be filled with the truth of your word and that you are for her. Thank you Jesus, for blessing her, touching her and healing her, in Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Suggested result
2 Corinthians 10:5 [Full Chapter]
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Thank you, that means a lot and I am doing much better today. Thank you for your prayer and care.
 
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lindseystark

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Hi Lyndsey, I recently started a Bible Study called the Armour of God. The author is Patricia Shirer. It is centered on Ephesians. I highly recommend it for enveloping protection and confidence in facing the struggles like you describe. And that I have in common with you. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior many years ago but as this study reminds me, spiritual warfare doesnt take a day off nor a holiday. We need the full armour of God and must put it daily. I alxo listen to Christian radio and notice that the worship and praise songs are playing in my head and heart even when the radio is not on or I am "fussing" about something in the other part of my mind. I just need to tunein :). If you try out the Ephesians Bible study I would be honored if you wanted to share the encouragement with each other as we work our way through it.
Thank You!
Okay that sounds great. I'll have to look into that Bible.
 
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lindseystark

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Hi Lindsey :handwaving:

Nice to meet you.

I think everyone has days they feel like they don’t measure up. You’re not terrible and God definitely wants you.

I sometimes have to remember to stop using my measuring stick and use God’s.

God is awesome. And he made you on his image, so you’re awesome too! Sometimes you just need a little reminder :hug: (is that a hug? I wanted a hug symbol)
Thank you so much. that looks like a hug to me haha
I appreciate it.
 
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lindseystark

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Your story sounds a little similar to mine. I think we've all went through this phase - or at least most of us - with those annoying intrusive thoughts we try not to think but keep bombarding us. I had to go to my aunt about this issue when I was a teenager and she helped calm me down. I'm glad you have the forum here to hopefully help you out on this issue. Just know you are a child of God and that is a precious, amazing thing that cannot be taken aware, especially with something as small as intrusive thoughts. As your anxiety gets better with this issue, the problem will get better.
Thank you. I'm beginning to realize just how common this problem is but I never heard anyone talk about it before. It definitely doesn't feel small at times. It could become so intense that I felt like I couldn't breathe or I would just start crying. I also noticed a direct relation to how depressed I'm feeling and if I've gone outside that day. When I go outside and get in the sunshine or feel the wind on my skin it helps sooth things. And of course praying has been the best coping strategy so far.
 
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anna ~ grace

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Thank you. I'm beginning to realize just how common this problem is but I never heard anyone talk about it before. It definitely doesn't feel small at times. It could become so intense that I felt like I couldn't breathe or I would just start crying. I also noticed a direct relation to how depressed I'm feeling and if I've gone outside that day. When I go outside and get in the sunshine or feel the wind on my skin it helps sooth things. And of course praying has been the best coping strategy so far.
Going outside helps me, too! Even just for a few minutes.
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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I was a Christian when I married him.
Why do you ask?

That decision set you up for this battle.
I was a Christian when I married him.
Why do you ask?

First let me say that everything I said is still valid. You have to realize that you are in a battle and the enemy wants you to feel worthless, hopeless, and disowned. But, you need to ignore those things. That isn't what God says about you.

The reason I asked when you were married with regards to your Christianity is to see if we had another thing in common, but we don't. I first married as an unbeliever who thought I was a believer to someone who claimed to be a believer, and frankly, that had nothing to do with why either of us got married. In retrospect, with the experience of having God wake me up now under my belt and her crazed response to it, I don't think either of us was truly a Christian when we got married. We were Christian in name only. I would base that on our actions before, during, and after we got married AND especially the major difference between us that appeared after God woke me up (10 years later). So, while we both would have claimed Christian if someone asked us in the right environment, we weren't really Bible-believing Christians. When God woke me up, our house became a spiritual battle field. I was a much improved version of me who took more interest in the things that really mattered instead of just worrying about bringing home the money; but that was not the version (of me) that my worldly wife wanted. I remember that things got so bad that I would go to a place in my house and ask God if I could leave. He always told me no. I would tell Him all the lies she was saying about me behind my back ruining my testimony and she was a good liar, because she knew how to turn on the fake tears and act like she was genuine. But, God knows what was really going on. And, I had to endure some pretty nasty treatment in the house. She would run around the house yelling at me, so much so that my little son at 2 years old grabbed onto her legs at the kneecaps one time and said "mommy stop! mommy stop!" One day when I came home from work, she whispered to me (so the kids couldn't hear) that she contemplated poisoning my food. But, no matter what she did, God kept allowing me to love her in spite of it, until she tried to say that what was compelling me to fast, pray, give away audio Bibles and other things was not God, but the adversary. I felt an internal click. She sent the divorce papers within a month. But three years prior she had already threatened divorce if I didn't turn away from God. She made it very clear she had no inclination to stay in the marriage. As soon as the divorce went through she came out with the new boyfriend that I already had my suspicions about.

All of the Apostles would advise us to marry within the faith if we were to marry at all. I obviously was not meant to be remain unmarried, even after being woken up by God. Marrying an unbeliever (mormon included) sets you up for a spiritual battle--similar to the battle that being woken up while in a marriage with an unbeliever suddenly put me in. The only difference is that I wasn't a believer when I chose to marry the first time.

I have noticed that when I take closer steps towards God that things are good for a period of time and then the evil feelings hit me like a wave almost immediately after. Do you think it's demons around me lashing out at "the light" so to speak? Also, with in the last 3 years I have married my husband and moved in together. He was baptised as a Mormon and he doesn't practice the religion but for most of his life was very doubtful of all religion and only recently started taking interest into Christianity after we got married. But I dont think he's really declared his belief in Christ yet. And I would say things did seem to get more intense after I moved in with him. Do you think that there's any relation there. Can people pass on evil things to you like a flu?

I don't believe "people can pass on evil things like a flu" unless you let them. The intensity could be because "2 become 1" with marriage. But, the possible threat of the enemy losing your husband or the "hope of the enemy" that you would choose your husband over God would be enough reason to step up the amount and strength of the attacks against you, if I were to think like the enemy as I was trained to do at West Point (a Military Academy).

Hello,
Lately I've been feeling very strange. I keep getting this horrible feeling and then my head is filled with a lot of bad thoughts like that I'm a terrible person, that there's something wrong with me and that God wouldn't want someone like me in His kingdom. I get feelings like I'm good for nothing, useless just feel very low.
Now, I know in my heart it isn't true. I've been a Christian my whole life and I've always believed in Jesus and loved Him.
And I believe that I am saved in my heart. And I know it is true because the bible tells me it is. So I dont understand why I can't get those bad thoughts to go away.

To help you understand whats going on in my head further, heres some deeper back story on my life. When I was a child I felt like I was close to God in a way. Things would happen here and there that seemed like messages from God answering questions only He could have heard me ask. Then I got older. I never turned away from my faith, but sort of fell asleep spiritually. In high school I wasn't behaving lile I should and being selfish with loose morals. Then recently in my adult life, (early 20s) I felt like I really reconnected with my religion as a Christian stronger than ever. It felt like a fog had lifted. I felt like I was really getting closer to God and understand the Bible with a new perspective. But then, immediately following this phase came the horrible feeling of me being worthless and so on. I get this overwhelming evil, icky, hateful feeling inside me that I can barely stand. I'm starting to get better at shutting it up, but I want to get rid of it completely. And theres an additional problem also....ever since I can remember I do this thing where my mind gets stuck on the worse thing it could conjur up and then I think about it over and over and over. And its usually something evil or harmful. Like for example: I remember being 3 years old and my mom bought me Polly pockets, which is a tiny toy that would be very easy to choke on. She told me not to ever stick it in my mouth. And as soon as she said that I had wished she hadnt told me that because then every time I played with it my mind was telling me to stick it my mouth and choke myself. And it isn't like just a thought. it's a feeling that's overwhelming to the point where I had to just put the toy away and do something else so I could forget about it because it was bothering me so much. I still do thattoday as a 26 year old but the thoughts are a lot worse.
sorry I'm writing a novel. I was just hoping somebody could look at this from a Christian point of view and tell me what they think is going on. Because lately I feel so far from God like I dont feel Him anymore when I pray. And I dont know if I'm just in my own head too much and He's standing next to me shouting and maybe I'm just not listening. Has anybody else ever felt this way or had these experiences?

Did you ever watch War Room? It may give you some ideas. God has brought me to a place where I can have an actual physical prayer closet. What a blessing! Speaking again like a military trained guy: You can sit and keep fending off the enemy OR you can attack the enemy and make him wish he never chose to mess with you. I prefer the latter, because it doesn't cost him anything to keep tormenting you.
 
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lindseystark

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That decision set you up for this battle.


First let me say that everything I said is still valid. You have to realize that you are in a battle and the enemy wants you to feel worthless, hopeless, and disowned. But, you need to ignore those things. That isn't what God says about you.

The reason I asked when you were married with regards to your Christianity is to see if we had another thing in common, but we don't. I first married as an unbeliever who thought I was a believer to someone who claimed to be a believer, and frankly, that had nothing to do with why either of us got married. In retrospect, with the experience of having God wake me up now under my belt and her crazed response to it, I don't think either of us was truly a Christian when we got married. We were Christian in name only. I would base that on our actions before, during, and after we got married AND especially the major difference between us that appeared after God woke me up (10 years later). So, while we both would have claimed Christian if someone asked us in the right environment, we weren't really Bible-believing Christians. When God woke me up, our house became a spiritual battle field. I was a much improved version of me who took more interest in the things that really mattered instead of just worrying about bringing home the money; but that was not the version (of me) that my worldly wife wanted. I remember that things got so bad that I would go to a place in my house and ask God if I could leave. He always told me no. I would tell Him all the lies she was saying about me behind my back ruining my testimony and she was a good liar, because she knew how to turn on the fake tears and act like she was genuine. But, God knows what was really going on. And, I had to endure some pretty nasty treatment in the house. She would run around the house yelling at me, so much so that my little son at 2 years old grabbed onto her legs at the kneecaps one time and said "mommy stop! mommy stop!" One day when I came home from work, she whispered to me (so the kids couldn't hear) that she contemplated poisoning my food. But, no matter what she did, God kept allowing me to love her in spite of it, until she tried to say that what was compelling me to fast, pray, give away audio Bibles and other things was not God, but the adversary. I felt an internal click. She sent the divorce papers within a month. But three years prior she had already threatened divorce if I didn't turn away from God. She made it very clear she had no inclination to stay in the marriage. As soon as the divorce went through she came out with the new boyfriend that I already had my suspicions about.

All of the Apostles would advise us to marry within the faith if we were to marry at all. I obviously was not meant to be remain unmarried, even after being woken up by God. Marrying an unbeliever (mormon included) sets you up for a spiritual battle--similar to the battle that being woken up while in a marriage with an unbeliever suddenly put me in. The only difference is that I wasn't a believer when I chose to marry the first time.



I don't believe "people can pass on evil things like a flu" unless you let them. The intensity could be because "2 become 1" with marriage. But, the possible threat of the enemy losing your husband or the "hope of the enemy" that you would choose your husband over God would be enough reason to step up the amount and strength of the attacks against you, if I were to think like the enemy as I was trained to do at West Point (a Military Academy).



Did you ever watch War Room? It may give you some ideas. God has brought me to a place where I can have an actual physical prayer closet. What a blessing! Speaking again like a military trained guy: You can sit and keep fending off the enemy OR you can attack the enemy and make him wish he never chose to mess with you. I prefer the latter, because it doesn't cost him anything to keep tormenting you.
Oh wow,
That really does sound like a struggle! So in your first marriage do you know why your wife was so passionate about you not turning to God. I'm sure she was influenced by evil but did she ever offer her own reason for why she would want to leave you just because you had become more passionate in your faith? Do you think she just wanted to leave and so made this issue be the excuse?
I would never choose my husband over Christ. I love my husband very much. I'm pretty sure there's not much he could do to make me stop loving him. But if it came down to it and he told me my faith was in the way of our marriage I would let him leave. I would still love him, but I'd be willing to let him go if I had to choose between Christ and him.

I've also noticed on days where a lot of bad things happen around town, I also have a bad day and feel spiritually attacked. My husband is in law enforcement and there's been days when things get especially bad for me. Then he comes home and tells me so very horrible and evil things happened that day like somebody going on a shooting rampage and committing random acts of violence. I wonder if it's something like evil being poured out into the world and near by people that are spiritually vulnerable feel it.
 
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lindseystark

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That decision set you up for this battle.


First let me say that everything I said is still valid. You have to realize that you are in a battle and the enemy wants you to feel worthless, hopeless, and disowned. But, you need to ignore those things. That isn't what God says about you.

The reason I asked when you were married with regards to your Christianity is to see if we had another thing in common, but we don't. I first married as an unbeliever who thought I was a believer to someone who claimed to be a believer, and frankly, that had nothing to do with why either of us got married. In retrospect, with the experience of having God wake me up now under my belt and her crazed response to it, I don't think either of us was truly a Christian when we got married. We were Christian in name only. I would base that on our actions before, during, and after we got married AND especially the major difference between us that appeared after God woke me up (10 years later). So, while we both would have claimed Christian if someone asked us in the right environment, we weren't really Bible-believing Christians. When God woke me up, our house became a spiritual battle field. I was a much improved version of me who took more interest in the things that really mattered instead of just worrying about bringing home the money; but that was not the version (of me) that my worldly wife wanted. I remember that things got so bad that I would go to a place in my house and ask God if I could leave. He always told me no. I would tell Him all the lies she was saying about me behind my back ruining my testimony and she was a good liar, because she knew how to turn on the fake tears and act like she was genuine. But, God knows what was really going on. And, I had to endure some pretty nasty treatment in the house. She would run around the house yelling at me, so much so that my little son at 2 years old grabbed onto her legs at the kneecaps one time and said "mommy stop! mommy stop!" One day when I came home from work, she whispered to me (so the kids couldn't hear) that she contemplated poisoning my food. But, no matter what she did, God kept allowing me to love her in spite of it, until she tried to say that what was compelling me to fast, pray, give away audio Bibles and other things was not God, but the adversary. I felt an internal click. She sent the divorce papers within a month. But three years prior she had already threatened divorce if I didn't turn away from God. She made it very clear she had no inclination to stay in the marriage. As soon as the divorce went through she came out with the new boyfriend that I already had my suspicions about.

All of the Apostles would advise us to marry within the faith if we were to marry at all. I obviously was not meant to be remain unmarried, even after being woken up by God. Marrying an unbeliever (mormon included) sets you up for a spiritual battle--similar to the battle that being woken up while in a marriage with an unbeliever suddenly put me in. The only difference is that I wasn't a believer when I chose to marry the first time.



I don't believe "people can pass on evil things like a flu" unless you let them. The intensity could be because "2 become 1" with marriage. But, the possible threat of the enemy losing your husband or the "hope of the enemy" that you would choose your husband over God would be enough reason to step up the amount and strength of the attacks against you, if I were to think like the enemy as I was trained to do at West Point (a Military Academy).



Did you ever watch War Room? It may give you some ideas. God has brought me to a place where I can have an actual physical prayer closet. What a blessing! Speaking again like a military trained guy: You can sit and keep fending off the enemy OR you can attack the enemy and make him wish he never chose to mess with you. I prefer the latter, because it doesn't cost him anything to keep tormenting you.

When you pray and you say God answers you, how do you receive the answers? Do you actually hear Him, or is it more of a feeling? I've heard people say they have heard the answer. I never have heard any kind of voice. Sometimes I just get a feeling but then I'm not sure if that's God answering or just me trying to imagine what the answer is. But most of the time the answer comes from my environment or out of somebody else's mouth. Like He's working through them to communicate with me and I see it.
I've also heard people describe God's voice telling you to do something is like having this fire in your stomach and you have such a sense of urgency that the subject just can't be ignored.
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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When you pray and you say God answers you, how do you receive the answers? Do you actually hear Him, or is it more of a feeling? I've heard people say they have heard the answer. I never have heard any kind of voice. Sometimes I just get a feeling but then I'm not sure if that's God answering or just me trying to imagine what the answer is. But most of the time the answer comes from my environment or out of somebody else's mouth. Like He's working through them to communicate with me and I see it.
I've also heard people describe God's voice telling you to do something is like having this fire in your stomach and you have such a sense of urgency that the subject just can't be ignored.

That's a trick question, because there isn't anything set. Usually, I see the answer; though I have heard things that I would swear anyone else could have heard also, if that makes sense. I think how God communicates with each person is individual to them. Some people claim they hear from God all the time. I don't see that in mirrored in Scripture. Jesus is the only one who seemed to be in constant communication with the Father, so much so that in those last moments when He didn't feel Him, He said: "Abba, Father, why have you forsaken Me?" If I did that every time I didn't hear His voice when I wanted to hear it, I'd be saying that more than not (and certainly not just once in my lifetime, like Jesus did).

In my experience with God, when He speaks about a topic, He is usually telling me something different than I would ever consider doing or something I cannot imagine ever thinking of on my own. In some cases, I didn't even know the word, or if I did I didn't know what it meant.

This is a long time after, but as God is bringing it to my memory, when I asked to leave from my x-wife's abuse and attempts to destroy my testimony, I immediately saw "NO" on an otherwise white canvas in my mind. I was asking, because I wanted to leave. So, my answer being the opposite wasn't what I wanted to hear. Nor did He tell me "wait it out. She'll leave." The understanding I received along with that was that I was supposed to keep working on my marriage, as if I was going to be in it for the rest of my life. God wanted me fully invested. And, it really was amazing how many thoughts He would put in my head to do things--like go out of my way to do things--that in the previous 10 years of our marriage--because even before God woke me up, I had to endure a lot of abuse and manipulation. I just stayed in the relationship, because I didn't want to be alone--which was the same reason I got married. And, since she could manipulate me, she had no reason to leave. I things I suddenly would do, I wouldn't have thought to very regularly do and in the face of nastiness, threats and abuse that really ramped up one month into my awakening--when she realized that she couldn't manipulate me any longer. It certainly wasn't my flesh at that point that wanted to be there. I felt safe and loved by the God who woke me up. I didn't need to stay in the abusive relationship for the same reasons I was there prior to God waking me up.

Another example: I was defending Christians who God calls into the military against an alumni of the seminary I was about to enter. God woke me up one night and took me through the Scriptures to reply to Him. I like sleeping at night, so the idea of waking up at 1230 and staying awake isn't normally what I do. A seminary professor who didn't know I wasn't even at the school yet, commented on what an incredible response it was. I replied back and as I was giving God the credit for what He did, God told me "ACTION POTENTIAL". I was like "What is that?" So, I looked it up. But, after I did, I immediately understood what God was telling me and I shared with the professor. Scriptural parallel: Vision given to Peter that he didn't understand; but, then when he went with the three men to Cornelius and the circumstances unfolded, he then understood.

Often I love to take the baton (I was always a make-it-happen kind of guy before God woke me up) and run. Sometimes I wonder if God just crosses His arms while looking down and wondering "Is this kid ever gonna get it?" One example was I was sitting in a paid-for professional job placement after our drug company did a big layoff. As the guy was giving his sales pitch for what he could do for me, I just heard the word and saw the word: "Education". I decided that meant to become a public school teacher. But, while I served a year and a half as a public school teacher, and God blessed the time, I lamented that I couldn't really impact the kids lives, because I had to focus so much on developing the math education for them. Now, I am in education and am where God called me to be, working as a houseparent for neglected or orphaned children. And the peace that I am doing exactly what He called me to do right now is so wonderful.

Some of the instantaneous healings that I've seen since becoming a Christian, I saw happen to former teen gang-members who professed to hate God or not believe in God when they were healed right in front of their eyes--since being here as a houseparent. One in particular was not on my hall at the time, but was very angry. When I asked him if I could pray for him, he said: "I don't believe in that crap." So, he would have had no reason to fake being healed. And, yet, as shown by the astonished look on his face when his knee was again completely normal, he was healed.

Another amazing and instantaneous healing happened when we were on a job interview to potentially leave here (where we are still at). He got his life back and was able to compete again on the national level in the martial arts--something he had lost when he suffered a leg broken in two places that never healed right, so he couldn't put pressure on it. Immediately after the prayer and the pain being gone, he went and started lifting weights. He was full of joy. Two years of unstopping pain and lack of athletic ability suddenly gone! We would have been paid more, they wanted us, we had our letter of resignation in, we wanted to go, and then God made it clear He didn't want us to leave here. So we didn't.

I told everyone here at this children's home that "if they ever sent me to do the emergency cottage, we would leave." So, last December, God told me to propose something that has never been done before. He said that He wanted us to propose becoming the full-time, never-off (but two weeks a year) houseparents on the emergency cottage. That couldn't have come from me, because I made a vow that I wouldn't do it! This past year, He has done so many incredible things through that sacrifice, it has been incredible.

I think most of the time when God speaks, we don't fully understand. Even Paul talked about us "seeing through a glass darkly, but then face-to-face." That is why when someone gets a prophetic picture, I want them to share the picture with me, before they share with me what they think it means. The picture is worth more, because God speaks to me in pictures--even in pictures of words--more often than not and pictures can often have multiple meanings--and they can all be relevant!

Proverbs 25:2: "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter."

Sometimes, he communicates in dreams and visions. Sometimes it is just a nudge or an urge to go somewhere out of your way at a time you wouldn't normally go. There are so many unique ways He communicates. I am sure that I am only scratching the surface. But, most of the time when He is communicating, He is communicating something that my flesh either wouldn't want to do or wouldn't have even thought of.
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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Oh wow,
That really does sound like a struggle! So in your first marriage do you know why your wife was so passionate about you not turning to God. I'm sure she was influenced by evil but did she ever offer her own reason for why she would want to leave you just because you had become more passionate in your faith? Do you think she just wanted to leave and so made this issue be the excuse?
I would never choose my husband over Christ. I love my husband very much. I'm pretty sure there's not much he could do to make me stop loving him. But if it came down to it and he told me my faith was in the way of our marriage I would let him leave. I would still love him, but I'd be willing to let him go if I had to choose between Christ and him.

I've also noticed on days where a lot of bad things happen around town, I also have a bad day and feel spiritually attacked. My husband is in law enforcement and there's been days when things get especially bad for me. Then he comes home and tells me so very horrible and evil things happened that day like somebody going on a shooting rampage and committing random acts of violence. I wonder if it's something like evil being poured out into the world and near by people that are spiritually vulnerable feel it.

There was never a consistent official reason. One was clearly that she couldn't manipulate/control me like she used to, because I was God's (first) now. Another was that she had decided she couldn't be married to a pastor and was afraid I would be one, because I was on fire for God. She had told me before we were married that guys that were clearly moving in the direction of being a pastor, she broke up with. In front of one Christian counselor, she had a demonic breakdown. In front of a Christian counseling couple, she refused to do what they assigned her to do and just stopped going. She, then, decided that she (a professing Christian) would only go to a non-Christian counselor, if at all, while still acting Christian in front of her Christian connections. Her feeling unqualified may have been from her being sexually abused as a kid by her uncle and nobody believing her, it may have been her bad sexual choices and maintaining lies to cover them after that, or it may have just been what she gave herself over to. All her sisters were also divorced and had no interest in supporting her remaining married--because of the special treatment she received from her mom and dad. My sister kept letting her know that she was considering divorce, since my x-wife was a stay-at-home mom; my brother's wife divorced him. Neither family had a healthy example of marriage. Our own parents were hardly living successful healthy marriages though they were still together. And neither of our families had a healthy true Christian background. She probably stayed as long as she did, because she couldn't bare people not accepting her, so her lies about me to others were really only to protect herself at all costs. If she convinced others I was the bad guy, they wouldn't think badly about her.

Glad to hear your choice of Christ Jesus over your husband. Your husband is better off if you stand your ground there. But don't think that won't be tested. The closer you draw to God moment-to-moment, the better chance for your husband to eventually find Him.

Regarding your husband, being near that affects people. Without his foundation being in Christ, I am sure it isn't helping the situation. But, it won't be real if he feels forced.

My x-wife went to the altar in a Baptist church, because her mom went up. Nothing changed for her, as was evident in our first 10 years of marriage and in her own testimony in front of a "pastor" who didn't recognize the falseness of claiming to be born again with no change. She said nothing changed, because she was attractive and the boys were after her. The reality is that she wasn't ever born again. She was more concerned about what her mom would think than what God would think. That's not being mean. In fact, that is being generous. If she tasted and turned away, it isn't a good outcome, according to the Scriptures. If you aren't a born-again, in love with Jesus, follower of God, how can you not be affected by what is happening by the world around you? For someone who doesn't know Him, what can you hold onto in potential crises? It isn't healthy to "detach" if you aren't "attaching" to something else.
 
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lindseystark

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That's a trick question, because there isn't anything set. Usually, I see the answer; though I have heard things that I would swear anyone else could have heard also, if that makes sense. I think how God communicates with each person is individual to them. Some people claim they hear from God all the time. I don't see that in mirrored in Scripture. Jesus is the only one who seemed to be in constant communication with the Father, so much so that in those last moments when He didn't feel Him, He said: "Abba, Father, why have you forsaken Me?" If I did that every time I didn't hear His voice when I wanted to hear it, I'd be saying that more than not (and certainly not just once in my lifetime, like Jesus did).

In my experience with God, when He speaks about a topic, He is usually telling me something different than I would ever consider doing or something I cannot imagine ever thinking of on my own. In some cases, I didn't even know the word, or if I did I didn't know what it meant.

This is a long time after, but as God is bringing it to my memory, when I asked to leave from my x-wife's abuse and attempts to destroy my testimony, I immediately saw "NO" on an otherwise white canvas in my mind. I was asking, because I wanted to leave. So, my answer being the opposite wasn't what I wanted to hear. Nor did He tell me "wait it out. She'll leave." The understanding I received along with that was that I was supposed to keep working on my marriage, as if I was going to be in it for the rest of my life. God wanted me fully invested. And, it really was amazing how many thoughts He would put in my head to do things--like go out of my way to do things--that in the previous 10 years of our marriage--because even before God woke me up, I had to endure a lot of abuse and manipulation. I just stayed in the relationship, because I didn't want to be alone--which was the same reason I got married. And, since she could manipulate me, she had no reason to leave. I things I suddenly would do, I wouldn't have thought to very regularly do and in the face of nastiness, threats and abuse that really ramped up one month into my awakening--when she realized that she couldn't manipulate me any longer. It certainly wasn't my flesh at that point that wanted to be there. I felt safe and loved by the God who woke me up. I didn't need to stay in the abusive relationship for the same reasons I was there prior to God waking me up.

Another example: I was defending Christians who God calls into the military against an alumni of the seminary I was about to enter. God woke me up one night and took me through the Scriptures to reply to Him. I like sleeping at night, so the idea of waking up at 1230 and staying awake isn't normally what I do. A seminary professor who didn't know I wasn't even at the school yet, commented on what an incredible response it was. I replied back and as I was giving God the credit for what He did, God told me "ACTION POTENTIAL". I was like "What is that?" So, I looked it up. But, after I did, I immediately understood what God was telling me and I shared with the professor. Scriptural parallel: Vision given to Peter that he didn't understand; but, then when he went with the three men to Cornelius and the circumstances unfolded, he then understood.

Often I love to take the baton (I was always a make-it-happen kind of guy before God woke me up) and run. Sometimes I wonder if God just crosses His arms while looking down and wondering "Is this kid ever gonna get it?" One example was I was sitting in a paid-for professional job placement after our drug company did a big layoff. As the guy was giving his sales pitch for what he could do for me, I just heard the word and saw the word: "Education". I decided that meant to become a public school teacher. But, while I served a year and a half as a public school teacher, and God blessed the time, I lamented that I couldn't really impact the kids lives, because I had to focus so much on developing the math education for them. Now, I am in education and am where God called me to be, working as a houseparent for neglected or orphaned children. And the peace that I am doing exactly what He called me to do right now is so wonderful.

Some of the instantaneous healings that I've seen since becoming a Christian, I saw happen to former teen gang-members who professed to hate God or not believe in God when they were healed right in front of their eyes--since being here as a houseparent. One in particular was not on my hall at the time, but was very angry. When I asked him if I could pray for him, he said: "I don't believe in that crap." So, he would have had no reason to fake being healed. And, yet, as shown by the astonished look on his face when his knee was again completely normal, he was healed.

Another amazing and instantaneous healing happened when we were on a job interview to potentially leave here (where we are still at). He got his life back and was able to compete again on the national level in the martial arts--something he had lost when he suffered a leg broken in two places that never healed right, so he couldn't put pressure on it. Immediately after the prayer and the pain being gone, he went and started lifting weights. He was full of joy. Two years of unstopping pain and lack of athletic ability suddenly gone! We would have been paid more, they wanted us, we had our letter of resignation in, we wanted to go, and then God made it clear He didn't want us to leave here. So we didn't.

I told everyone here at this children's home that "if they ever sent me to do the emergency cottage, we would leave." So, last December, God told me to propose something that has never been done before. He said that He wanted us to propose becoming the full-time, never-off (but two weeks a year) houseparents on the emergency cottage. That couldn't have come from me, because I made a vow that I wouldn't do it! This past year, He has done so many incredible things through that sacrifice, it has been incredible.

I think most of the time when God speaks, we don't fully understand. Even Paul talked about us "seeing through a glass darkly, but then face-to-face." That is why when someone gets a prophetic picture, I want them to share the picture with me, before they share with me what they think it means. The picture is worth more, because God speaks to me in pictures--even in pictures of words--more often than not and pictures can often have multiple meanings--and they can all be relevant!

Proverbs 25:2: "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter."

Sometimes, he communicates in dreams and visions. Sometimes it is just a nudge or an urge to go somewhere out of your way at a time you wouldn't normally go. There are so many unique ways He communicates. I am sure that I am only scratching the surface. But, most of the time when He is communicating, He is communicating something that my flesh either wouldn't want to do or wouldn't have even thought of.

This helps me a lot because when I would hear people say God answered them I would think "what's wrong with me? why doesn't he talk to me?" and then that kind of thinking fueled the other ideas that I wasn't good enough. But what you said about "hearing" God makes a lot of sense because in the bible God does deal with everyone uniquely. And I know when God has spoke to me because it's like a sense of clarity comes over me. It brings the satisfaction over me like you would get from bringing the final pieces of a puzzle together and getting to sit back and look at an image in its completeness.

There was a time when I was little and learning about God. I already had Christ in my heart. I couldn't tell you when that happened. It had to been when I was very young because I never remember a time that I didn't believe in Him. But the problem was that I didn't know Him in my head. I didn't understand His ways. And so one day I asked God that if He was real then could He change the color of my bracelet to prove it. Nothing happened as I kept checking it. I was disappointed but it didn't change my faith. It just mad me sad more than anything. That next Sunday my family and I went to church. We didn't always go every Sunday but that Sunday we decided to. And I never went to Sunday school with the other kids, I always sat with my parents in the normal sermon. (looking back I'm not sure why I didn't want to go with the other kids. I just felt like I didn't belong.) So that Sunday the pastor stood up and began his sermon and he talked about how you shouldn't tempt God or ask for miracles as proof of His existance. I was shocked. The pastor couldn't have known about what I did. Nobody knew, I was alone and I never talked about it to anyone. The only one who knew was the Lord. And that made me feel special. Because this was a church of at least 500 or more people. All those people have their own lives and their own struggles with their faith and probably could have had thousands of questions that needed answers and the Lord inspired the pastor to write a sermon on this particular issue because I needed to hear it. I was probably somewhere around 8 -10 years old. And He didn't have them teach it in a Sunday school, where one would assume you could reach out to a child. He knew exactly where I'd be at that moment and He found the best way to speak to me in a way that I couldn't ignore or miss. So that was all the proof I needed that I was speaking with THE one and only, Jesus Christ, Lord of Lords. Because only an all knowing, all seeing, all mighty God could have orcastrated that. And of course I told Him I was sorry and never questioned Him again.

But looking back on that moment always makes me smile because still to this day I struggle with self worth and confidence and I'm so over sensitive and vulnerable. So when the feelings come up telling me that God has all these other people to deal with and all the things that they need that are real emergencies are more important than my stupid problems I remember that bracelet incident and I remember that I am important to Him. I spent a giant chunk of my life forgetting that fact but I won't forget anymore. I came close to letting me feet leave the earth and my body floating up and getting sucked into outer space where I would eventually freeze but the Lord left the 99 to catch me and grounded me back to earth. So all that is really helping start to fix all the issues I've had inside me taht cause me to sin so much in the past.
 
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lindseystark

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There was never a consistent official reason. One was clearly that she couldn't manipulate/control me like she used to, because I was God's (first) now. Another was that she had decided she couldn't be married to a pastor and was afraid I would be one, because I was on fire for God. She had told me before we were married that guys that were clearly moving in the direction of being a pastor, she broke up with. In front of one Christian counselor, she had a demonic breakdown. In front of a Christian counseling couple, she refused to do what they assigned her to do and just stopped going. She, then, decided that she (a professing Christian) would only go to a non-Christian counselor, if at all, while still acting Christian in front of her Christian connections. Her feeling unqualified may have been from her being sexually abused as a kid by her uncle and nobody believing her, it may have been her bad sexual choices and maintaining lies to cover them after that, or it may have just been what she gave herself over to. All her sisters were also divorced and had no interest in supporting her remaining married--because of the special treatment she received from her mom and dad. My sister kept letting her know that she was considering divorce, since my x-wife was a stay-at-home mom; my brother's wife divorced him. Neither family had a healthy example of marriage. Our own parents were hardly living successful healthy marriages though they were still together. And neither of our families had a healthy true Christian background. She probably stayed as long as she did, because she couldn't bare people not accepting her, so her lies about me to others were really only to protect herself at all costs. If she convinced others I was the bad guy, they wouldn't think badly about her.

Glad to hear your choice of Christ Jesus over your husband. Your husband is better off if you stand your ground there. But don't think that won't be tested. The closer you draw to God moment-to-moment, the better chance for your husband to eventually find Him.

Regarding your husband, being near that affects people. Without his foundation being in Christ, I am sure it isn't helping the situation. But, it won't be real if he feels forced.

My x-wife went to the altar in a Baptist church, because her mom went up. Nothing changed for her, as was evident in our first 10 years of marriage and in her own testimony in front of a "pastor" who didn't recognize the falseness of claiming to be born again with no change. She said nothing changed, because she was attractive and the boys were after her. The reality is that she wasn't ever born again. She was more concerned about what her mom would think than what God would think. That's not being mean. In fact, that is being generous. If she tasted and turned away, it isn't a good outcome, according to the Scriptures. If you aren't a born-again, in love with Jesus, follower of God, how can you not be affected by what is happening by the world around you? For someone who doesn't know Him, what can you hold onto in potential crises? It isn't healthy to "detach" if you aren't "attaching" to something else.

I'm so glad you've shared a lot of private details of your life. Not to seem like I am sympathizing with your ex wife, but some of the things she has said sound a lot like some of my own thoughts I have had during the worst times of my life. I've since been turning the other way and making my way down that path I should have continued down a long time ago. So it helps me a lot to hear about your ex wife because I can look at the situation and do some self evaluating and it makes me realize that I could have became just as horrible and that makes me want to try even harder to run the opposite direction and take shelter in Christ. It's like a great example of who you dont want to turn into. There's times when I reflect on my past and think who was that? I cant believe I did that.

And when you say God tells us to do things and a lot of the times they are things you really don't want to do, you telling me that has given me some huge realizations..
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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This helps me a lot because when I would hear people say God answered them I would think "what's wrong with me? why doesn't he talk to me?" and then that kind of thinking fueled the other ideas that I wasn't good enough. That God doesn't want somebody who's innocents was broken and corrupted at 3 years old. That he wouldn't want a woman who went around sleeping with anyone who would have them because I had no sense of self worth. But what you said about "hearing" God makes a lot of sense because in the bible God does deal with everyone uniquely. And I know when God has spoke to me because it's like a sense of clarity comes over me. It brings the satisfaction over me like you would get from bringing the final pieces of a puzzle together and getting to sit back and look at an image in its completeness.

There was a time when I was little and learning about God. I already had Christ in my heart. I couldn't tell you when that happened. It had to been when I was very young because I never remember a time that I didn't believe in Him. But the problem was that I didn't know Him in my head. I didn't understand His ways. And so one day I asked God that if He was real then could He change the color of my bracelet to prove it. Nothing happened as I kept checking it. I was disappointed but it didn't change my faith. It just mad me sad more than anything. That next Sunday my family and I went to church. We didn't always go every Sunday but that Sunday we decided to. And I never went to Sunday school with the other kids, I always sat with my parents in the normal sermon. (looking back I'm not sure why I didn't want to go with the other kids. I just felt like I didn't belong.) So that Sunday the pastor stood up and began his sermon and he talked about how you shouldn't tempt God or ask for miracles as proof of His existance. I was shocked. The pastor couldn't have known about what I did. Nobody knew, I was alone and I never talked about it to anyone. The only one who knew was the Lord. And that made me feel special. Because this was a church of at least 500 or more people. All those people have their own lives and their own struggles with their faith and probably could have had thousands of questions that needed answers and the Lord inspired the pastor to write a sermon on this particular issue because I needed to hear it. I was probably somewhere around 8 -10 years old. And He didn't have them teach it in a Sunday school, where one would assume you could reach out to a child. He knew exactly where I'd be at that moment and He found the best way to speak to me in a way that I couldn't ignore or miss. So that was all the proof I needed that I was speaking with THE one and only, Jesus Christ, Lord of Lords. Because only an all knowing, all seeing, all mighty God could have orcastrated that. And of course I told Him I was sorry and never questioned Him again.

But looking back on that moment always makes me smile because still to this day I struggle with self worth and confidence and I'm so over sensitive and vulnerable. So when the feelings come up telling me that God has all these other people to deal with and all the things that they need that are real emergencies are more important than my stupid problems I remember that bracelet incident and I remember that I am important to Him. I spent a giant chunk of my life forgetting that fact but I won't forget anymore. I came close to letting me feet leave the earth and my body floating up and getting sucked into outer space where I would eventually freeze but the Lord left the 99 to catch me and grounded me back to earth. So all that is really helping start to fix all the issues I've had inside me taht cause me to sin so much in the past.

Sensitive and vulnerable is good, before the Lord. The world likes to eat people like us alive. But, for God, sensitive and vulnerable is good.

A funny story. One day, I got Todd White in front of Patricia King. In that conference, there was a time when Patricia said she had her hand stuck to her head. And, asked if anyone else did. I did not. And, I felt left out and got angry with God. This was the second time I got a very stern correcting from God. God said: "John, of all the things you could ask for, REALLY--you want your hand to be stuck to your head?" I immediately realized the stupidity of wanting to have the same thing that happened to about the third of the audience to also happen to me when it added no value to anyone. My job has never been to fit into the visible church from the way God woke me up to how he has used me. He has protected me stupid things like that. And, He has never given into my manipulative temper tantrums. That same Patricia King called and left a message on my phone one day. She said God told me to tell you: "You didn't choose Me, I chose you...." (John 15:16) She wouldn't have known my history at all. Of all the verses.... And, He did. I never answered an altar call. I wouldn't have been caught dead in a church that did those, at the time God woke me up. He just woke me up in a hotel room while listening to Scripture. Yay, God!

I will also tell you that I need to feel God's presence every day. It sustains me. But, hearing something specific doesn't happen every day--unless you count a sense to go to my prayer closet or a draw to read something in Scripture.

My experience with people who claim they always hear from God whenever they speak to Him is not good. I see people getting pulled off into weird stuff and I have had people who say God said and then it doesn't come to pass.

I have had others who travel the world as prophets but don't necessarily always see what God would have them see and God has shown me that on more than one occasion. On one particular occasion, I was "spinning" in worship--which God use me for quite often when I was in a different place. A prophet who travels to other countries said--in front of everyone--"I looked and I thought to myself 'boy does he look stupid spinning like that'; then God said: 'Look again'; and when I did, I saw that God had there angels spinning you. And God said to me: 'I use him spinning to set others free.'" And, if you knew I was an introvert before God woke me up, you would understand that to even be raising my hands in public is overcoming my flesh nature.

Since I've been here, I had a woman who claims God speaks to her all the time who was my direct supervisor. Her boss was the CEO. They were going to use a 17 year old atheist who would tell the other kids that since he looked like Jesus, he was Jesus and when they prayed they were praying to him. I heard they were going to have him play the part of Jesus for the sake of a show in something they call "the tabernacle". God clearly told me that I was to tell them not to do it. I spoke against it and got ripped for it, since I am just a lowly houseparent. God confirmed the same thing to my wife. They told us they wouldn't. And then they did. God gave me a message for the CEO since he did anyway what was explained to him not to do. Again, I got ripped for it! And, then my supervisor told me that she didn't think I heard from God. (the implication was that since she believes she does all the time that God wouldn't speak something to me that was contrary. But their motives weren't pure, so they couldn't see that they were putting the antichrist spirit on the stage as if he was God. So sad. See prophets will pure motives will hear from God, but when their motives aren't right--like when a good show or money becomes more important than trusting God--they don't see right. The same supervisor prayed over me this year and crying said I would be reunited with my kids by the end of the year. Her "prophetic" prayer has 8 days left for fulfillment. I had another guy who is a recognized prophet (according to a prayer group my wife is part of) who shared what he said God told him about me in an email to my wife. Later, he apologized, because he said "God told three people to do something for me and they all chose not to." Great news for someone with a long personal history of rejection (before God), right?

But, God has so blessed this year on His own. We have seen so many firsts at the children's home, since moving into this new capacity. Not the least of which was that when my wife's first-birth father just died for 6 minutes, God brought him back. Because we were obedient to do what God called us to do, she was in position to go visit him and pray for him in person. She wouldn't have been able to do that if we were doing what we were doing prior to last January. We both would have been on duty and unable to leave. But, God!
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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I'm so glad you've shared a lot of private details of your life. Not to seem like I am sympathizing with your ex wife, but some of the things she has said sound a lot like some of my own thoughts I have had during the worst times of my life. I've since been turning the other way and making my way down that path I should have continued down a long time ago. So it helps me a lot to hear about your ex wife because I can look at the situation and do some self evaluating and it makes me realize that I could have became just as horrible and that makes me want to try even harder to run the opposite direction and take shelter in Christ. It's like a great example of who you dont want to turn into. There's times when I reflect on my past and think who was that? I cant believe I did that.

And when you say God tells us to do things and a lot of the times they are things you really don't want to do, you telling me that has given me some huge realizations. The day of my wedding I almost called my Mom and told her it was off because I had found out my husband had been lying about something very minor and I was questioning who he was and if I could commit to this completely. I came very close to walking away only hours before the wedding. But now I have a much more positively mentality about it and there's been times I've wondered if he was cheating on me or doing other scandals things but I came to a place in my mind where I decided it was something I could forgive if it did ever happen. Because I've decided I'm mot going to walk away. I think God has brought my heart to that realization though I was very reluctant at first. And now God might be telling me something even bigger that I really dont want to do and I'm still contemplating the whole situation...

That urge to not get married may have been God, given that he was an unbeliever and God knew what was going to happen as a result. However, since you are married, I think you are making the right choice. I don't believe God encourages us to leave a marriage we are in, except in cases of adultery. If God wants you out of it, He will either fully expose him or pull him out.

Watch WAR ROOM and start talking to God about your husband in that way!

In some ways I feel sorry for the choices my wife made. In other ways, I am thankful that she was able to leave a marriage she no longer wanted to be in.

I would also suggest listening to Scripture, not to say you got through it, but to understand. Listen and if you don't get what He said, listen to the chapter again, and again, and again. I certainly prefer listening, since God used the audio New Testament Scriptures to wake me up. But, you get so much Word tucked into you. Since the Word is living and active....since Jesus' Words are Spirit and they are Life....since God watches over His Word to perform it....since God's Word never returns void, but accomplishes all that God sent The Word forth to do...since faith comes by hearing and hearing The Word of God....and since without faith, it is impossible to please God and this is faith--knowing that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him--it seems like a good thing to get as much Word as we can in us. I still listen to Scripture as often as possible during the day and all night while my family and I sleep. I have had boys I work with--who weren't even believers--who stopped having nighttime panic attacks or nightmares that woke them up or anxiety when they listened to Scripture while they slept. Most kids do more rebellion than making us feel good about what we do, so the idea that they would say that to make us feel good, just wouldn't be consistent with the usual intentions of angry kids forced to be somewhere they don't want to be.

P.S. I've been supposed to write a book about the different life I've walked in Christ. I guess you are just getting me started.
 
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lindseystark

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That urge to not get married may have been God, given that he was an unbeliever and God knew what was going to happen as a result. However, since you are married, I think you are making the right choice. I don't believe God encourages us to leave a marriage we are in, except in cases of adultery. If God wants you out of it, He will either fully expose him or pull him out.

Watch WAR ROOM and start talking to God about your husband in that way!

In some ways I feel sorry for the choices my wife made. In other ways, I am thankful that she was able to leave a marriage she no longer wanted to be in.

I would also suggest listening to Scripture, not to say you got through it, but to understand. Listen and if you don't get what He said, listen to the chapter again, and again, and again. I certainly prefer listening, since God used the audio New Testament Scriptures to wake me up. But, you get so much Word tucked into you. Since the Word is living and active....since Jesus' Words are Spirit and they are Life....since God watches over His Word to perform it....since God's Word never returns void, but accomplishes all that God sent The Word forth to do...since faith comes by hearing and hearing The Word of God....and since without faith, it is impossible to please God and this is faith--knowing that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him--it seems like a good thing to get as much Word as we can in us. I still listen to Scripture as often as possible during the day and all night while my family and I sleep. I have had boys I work with--who weren't even believers--who stopped having nighttime panic attacks or nightmares that woke them up or anxiety when they listened to Scripture while they slept. Most kids do more rebellion than making us feel good about what we do, so the idea that they would say that to make us feel good, just wouldn't be consistent with the usual intentions of angry kids forced to be somewhere they don't want to be.

P.S. I've been supposed to write a book about the different life I've walked in Christ. I guess you are just getting me started.
Haha glad to help.
I think something tries to pull me away from my husband when I go to a bad place mentally. That's when I start feeling like he's hiding something or get suspicious. And to be honest my suspicions dont make a whole lot of sense and I realize that later after the feeling has passed. But on most days when nothing's tugging at my strings and I feel joyful than I love him to pieces. And when we were about to get married we already had a daughter that was 10 months old and I was pregnant with our second child. So I know we've made the right decision. I love my family very much and we are all extremely close and you can really feel the love in our home. And as I'm trying to lead my family to the Lord things in our house only get better and better (of course with a few hurdles as well)

So let me understand, you house children in your own home? Is this like foster care?

I will watch War Room, thank you!
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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Haha glad to help.
I think something tries to pull me away from my husband when I go to a bad place mentally. That's when I start feeling like he's hiding something or get suspicious. And to be honest my suspicions dont make a whole lot of sense and I realize that later after the feeling has passed. But on most days when nothing's tugging at my strings and I feel joyful than I love him to pieces. And when we were about to get married we already had a daughter that was 10 months old and I was pregnant with our second child. So I know we've made the right decision. I love my family very much and we are all extremely close and you can really feel the love in our home. And as I'm trying to lead my family to the Lord things in our house only get better and better (of course with a few hurdles as well)

So let me understand, you house children in your own home? Is this like foster care?

I will watch War Room, thank you!

I work in a children's home as a houseparent. Glad you love your family!
 
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sunshineforJesus

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Hi Lyndsey, I recently started a Bible Study called the Armour of God. The author is Patricia Shirer. It is centered on Ephesians. I highly recommend it for enveloping protection and confidence in facing the struggles like you describe. And that I have in common with you. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior many years ago but as this study reminds me, spiritual warfare doesnt take a day off nor a holiday. We need the full armour of God and must put it daily. I alxo listen to Christian radio and notice that the worship and praise songs are playing in my head and heart even when the radio is not on or I am "fussing" about something in the other part of my mind. I just need to tunein :). If you try out the Ephesians Bible study I would be honored if you wanted to share the encouragement with each other as we work our way through it.

I did that same bible study and It really helped me out and spoke to me.
 
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