I need some advice

lindseystark

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Hello,
Lately I've been feeling very strange. I keep getting this horrible feeling and then my head is filled with a lot of bad thoughts like that I'm a terrible person, that there's something wrong with me and that God wouldn't want someone like me in His kingdom. I get feelings like I'm good for nothing, useless just feel very low.
Now, I know in my heart it isn't true. I've been a Christian my whole life and I've always believed in Jesus and loved Him.
And I believe that I am saved in my heart. And I know it is true because the bible tells me it is. So I dont understand why I can't get those bad thoughts to go away.

To help you understand whats going on in my head further, heres some deeper back story on my life. When I was a child I felt like I was close to God in a way. Things would happen here and there that seemed like messages from God answering questions only He could have heard me ask. Then I got older. I never turned away from my faith, but sort of fell asleep spiritually. In high school I wasn't behaving lile I should and being selfish with loose morals. Then recently in my adult life, (early 20s) I felt like I really reconnected with my religion as a Christian stronger than ever. It felt like a fog had lifted. I felt like I was really getting closer to God and understand the Bible with a new perspective. But then, immediately following this phase came the horrible feeling of me being worthless and so on. I get this overwhelming evil, icky, hateful feeling inside me that I can barely stand. I'm starting to get better at shutting it up, but I want to get rid of it completely. And theres an additional problem also....ever since I can remember I do this thing where my mind gets stuck on the worse thing it could conjur up and then I think about it over and over and over. And its usually something evil or harmful. Like for example: I remember being 3 years old and my mom bought me Polly pockets, which is a tiny toy that would be very easy to choke on. She told me not to ever stick it in my mouth. And as soon as she said that I had wished she hadnt told me that because then every time I played with it my mind was telling me to stick it my mouth and choke myself. And it isn't like just a thought. it's a feeling that's overwhelming to the point where I had to just put the toy away and do something else so I could forget about it because it was bothering me so much. I still do thattoday as a 26 year old but the thoughts are a lot worse.
sorry I'm writing a novel. I was just hoping somebody could look at this from a Christian point of view and tell me what they think is going on. Because lately I feel so far from God like I dont feel Him anymore when I pray. And I dont know if I'm just in my own head too much and He's standing next to me shouting and maybe I'm just not listening. Has anybody else ever felt this way or had these experiences?
 

anna ~ grace

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Oh, yay, invasive thoughts!

Basically, these are Satanic. They are real, but can be tuned out.

Tuning them out is going to take a lot of prayer, and perhaps some light fasting from snacks and pleasurable food. We all seem to have this problem to some extent.

Hold onto Christ. Seek prayer cover, and flee to the Cross when hit with these thoughts. This is way more common than you might think. You are not alone, friend.
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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Hello,
Lately I've been feeling very strange. I keep getting this horrible feeling and then my head is filled with a lot of bad thoughts like that I'm a terrible person, that there's something wrong with me and that God wouldn't want someone like me in His kingdom. I get feelings like I'm good for nothing, useless just feel very low.
Now, I know in my heart it isn't true. I've been a Christian my whole life and I've always believed in Jesus and loved Him.
And I believe that I am saved in my heart. And I know it is true because the bible tells me it is. So I dont understand why I can't get those bad thoughts to go away.

To help you understand whats going on in my head further, heres some deeper back story on my life. When I was a child I felt like I was close to God in a way. Things would happen here and there that seemed like messages from God answering questions only He could have heard me ask. Then I got older. I never turned away from my faith, but sort of fell asleep spiritually. In high school I wasn't behaving lile I should and being selfish with loose morals. Then recently in my adult life, (early 20s) I felt like I really reconnected with my religion as a Christian stronger than ever. It felt like a fog had lifted. I felt like I was really getting closer to God and understand the Bible with a new perspective. But then, immediately following this phase came the horrible feeling of me being worthless and so on. I get this overwhelming evil, icky, hateful feeling inside me that I can barely stand. I'm starting to get better at shutting it up, but I want to get rid of it completely. And theres an additional problem also....ever since I can remember I do this thing where my mind gets stuck on the worse thing it could conjur up and then I think about it over and over and over. And its usually something evil or harmful. Like for example: I remember being 3 years old and my mom bought me Polly pockets, which is a tiny toy that would be very easy to choke on. She told me not to ever stick it in my mouth. And as soon as she said that I had wished she hadnt told me that because then every time I played with it my mind was telling me to stick it my mouth and choke myself. And it isn't like just a thought. it's a feeling that's overwhelming to the point where I had to just put the toy away and do something else so I could forget about it because it was bothering me so much. I still do thattoday as a 26 year old but the thoughts are a lot worse.
sorry I'm writing a novel. I was just hoping somebody could look at this from a Christian point of view and tell me what they think is going on. Because lately I feel so far from God like I dont feel Him anymore when I pray. And I dont know if I'm just in my own head too much and He's standing next to me shouting and maybe I'm just not listening. Has anybody else ever felt this way or had these experiences?

You have an adversary who wants you to believe those things. Don't listen to those voices. Just dedicate yourself to God. Scripture: Submit to God, resist the devil; take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
 
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lindseystark

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None of these invasive thoughts mean that you are damned, or going to Hell, or beyond Divine Mercy. Don't believe that.

Cling to Christ. He loves you, and is holding you. Pray, sister, and will pray for you, too.

Thank you. It helps a lot to hear someone say out loud that I am loved. It isn't something I think you really hear everyday. At least not for me anyway.
 
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lindseystark

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Oh, yay, invasive thoughts!

Basically, these are Satanic. They are real, but can be tuned out.

Tuning them out is going to take a lot of prayer, and perhaps some light fasting from snacks and pleasurable food. We all seem to have this problem to some extent.

Hold onto Christ. Seek prayer cover, and flee to the Cross when hit with these thoughts. This is way more common than you might think. You are not alone, friend.

Thank You!
I'm not very knowledgeable on the subject of fasting. I didn't know fasting from junk food had a specific benefit, could you explain more on this subject?
 
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anna ~ grace

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Thank You!
I'm not very knowledgeable on the subject of fasting. I didn't know fasting from junk food had a specific benefit, could you explain more on this subject?
Sure. So, I don't get to full on fast, but can cut out junk food, snacking, and sugar. This accomplishes two things. It helps strengthen the soul agsinst spiritual attack by denying the flesh a little bit, and also cuts back on refined sugars, additives, and chemicals which can worsten anxiety / depression and make us feel worse physically.
 
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lindseystark

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You have an adversary who wants you to believe those things. Don't listen to those voices. Just dedicate yourself to God. Scripture: Submit to God, resist the devil; take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

I have noticed that when I take closer steps towards God that things are good for a period of time and then the evil feelings hit me like a wave almost immediately after. Do you think it's demons around me lashing out at "the light" so to speak? Also, with in the last 3 years I have married my husband and moved in together. He was baptised as a Mormon and he doesn't practice the religion but for most of his life was very doubtful of all religion and only recently started taking interest into Christianity after we got married. But I dont think he's really declared his belief in Christ yet. And I would say things did seem to get more intense after I moved in with him. Do you think that there's any relation there. Can people pass on evil things to you like a flu?
 
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gym_class_hero

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Hi Lindsey. When I'm trying to walk closer to God is when I seem to be attacked with ungodly thoughts. Don't know if that's the same with you but please know you are not alone with these struggles. I've noticed these seem to be worse at night. In addition to praying and reading the Bible Ive found that exercising, eating right and getting good sleep all help combat these thoughts. God bless you!
 
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anna ~ grace

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I have noticed that when I take closer steps towards God that things are good for a period of time and then the evil feelings hit me like a wave almost immediately after. Do you think it's demons around me lashing out at "the light" so to speak? Also, with in the last 3 years I have married my husband and moved in together. He was baptised as a Mormon and he doesn't practice the religion but for most of his life was very doubtful of all religion and only recently started taking interest into Christianity after we got married. But I dont think he's really declared his belief in Christ yet. And I would say things did seem to get more intense after I moved in with him. Do you think that there's any relation there. Can people pass on evil things to you like a flu?
That is entirely possible. Yes, evil can jump ship from one person to the next, and can follow people. And yes, as you seek to bring your husband closer to the real Christ, Satan is likely to amp up his attacks to make you stumble or flee or give up. Amp up the prayer, slight fasting, Bible reading, and God time. Trust in Christ and call out these spiritual attacks as they happen in the name of Christ. If you have no images / paintings of Christ in your home, I would suggest getting at least one. Let the demons know who's boss in your house.
 
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So..you believe Jesus is who He said He was..as in John 3:16-17 and Rom 10:9-10.

When I was young.. I got scared allot.. always convicted of sin. One verse that really helped was "Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you." Luke 10:19. The part lol I always held on to was "and nothing shall by any means hurt you" I always said that..

The mind is Satans play ground. Since you know JESUS CHRIST as lord.. Satan has NO right to us. JESUS CHRIST is IN YOU! He said.. I am in the Father the Father in me and I am IN YOU! HELLO! JESUS that made all we see is IN YOU! Your friend your brother you savoir your GOD! And you are HIS! And you are IN the Fathers hands and NO ONE can take you out of His hands.

And.. sin.. you are righteous in the Fathers eyes because you believe in JESUS! There is now no condemnation to them YOU in Christ Jesus..

So the mind that gets those thoughts like fear.. I say.. NO its written God has not give me the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. Every time.. out loud to your self.. the JOY of the LORD is your strength..

Isa 41:10... believe it or not was written TO YOU.. this is GOD talking to YOU "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

KNOW He will keep His word. Resist the devil and he HAS to flee. See NO ONE but NO ONE has the right to control you. NO one controls you makes you do say anything. Take hold of those thoughts put them under the blood

You know.. song playing right now.. what are the odds its playing right now.. AWESOME! For you "no matter what...by Ryan Stevenson,Bart Millard".....search it in youtube.. just like that..
 
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lindseystark

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Hi Lindsey. When I'm trying to walk closer to God is when I seem to be attacked with ungodly thoughts. Don't know if that's the same with you but please know you are not alone with these struggles. I've noticed these seem to be worse at night. In addition to praying and reading the Bible Ive found that exercising, eating right and getting good sleep all help combat these thoughts. God bless you!

Thank you that does help me a lot. You're exactly right, it gets much worse at night. I'm very glad I reached out about this because I've kept this issue to myself for a while now and it was really starting to ware on me.
I'm also a very emotionally sensitive person as well, and I've notice that these intrusive thoughts play a lot on my sensitivities like not feeling good enough or the fear of rejection.
 
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gym_class_hero

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Thank you that does help me a lot. You're exactly right, it gets much worse at night. I'm very glad I reached out about this because I've kept this issue to myself for a while now and it was really starting to ware on me.
I'm also a very emotionally sensitive person as well, and I've notice that these intrusive thoughts play a lot on my sensitivities like not feeling good enough or the fear of rejection.
You are like my wife. Your emotions are real but they aren't the measuring stick of who you are in Christ. His word is true and unchanging, unlike our emotions. Philppians 4.8 is a great verse. We have to control our minds by controlling what we allow in. It is hard but attainable thru His grace. I have to chose what music to listen to, what shows to watch, even what people or conversations to avoid in order to live victoriously. Its an ongoing battle for sure. My wife is getting better along these lines and you will as well. Our spiritual walk is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't be discouraged!
 
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lindseystark

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So..you believe Jesus is who He said He was..as in John 3:16-17 and Rom 10:9-10.

When I was young.. I got scared allot.. always convicted of sin. One verse that really helped was "Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you." Luke 10:19. The part lol I always held on to was "and nothing shall by any means hurt you" I always said that..

The mind is Satans play ground. Since you know JESUS CHRIST as lord.. Satan has NO right to us. JESUS CHRIST is IN YOU! He said.. I am in the Father the Father in me and I am IN YOU! HELLO! JESUS that made all we see is IN YOU! Your friend your brother you savoir your GOD! And you are HIS! And you are IN the Fathers hands and NO ONE can take you out of His hands.

And.. sin.. you are righteous in the Fathers eyes because you believe in JESUS! There is now no condemnation to them YOU in Christ Jesus..

So the mind that gets those thoughts like fear.. I say.. NO its written God has not give me the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. Every time.. out loud to your self.. the JOY of the LORD is your strength..

Isa 41:10... believe it or not was written TO YOU.. this is GOD talking to YOU "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

KNOW He will keep His word. Resist the devil and he HAS to flee. See NO ONE but NO ONE has the right to control you. NO one controls you makes you do say anything. Take hold of those thoughts put them under the blood

You know.. song playing right now.. what are the odds its playing right now.. AWESOME! For you "no matter what...by Ryan Stevenson,Bart Millard".....search it in youtube.. just like that..

You know, I've heard that song before but didn't listen very closely to it at the time. You've helped me see a withered and blurry old photo a little bit clearer today, thank You! Your words mean a lot to me.
 
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lindseystark

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You are like my wife. Your emotions are real but they aren't the measuring stick of who you are in Christ. His word is true and unchanging, unlike our emotions. Philppians 4.8 is a great verse. We have to control our minds by controlling what we allow in. It is hard but attainable thru His grace. I have to chose what music to listen to, what shows to watch, even what people or conversations to avoid in order to live victoriously. Its an ongoing battle for sure. My wife is getting better along these lines and you will as well. Our spiritual walk is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't be discouraged!
That makes a lot of sense. Me and my parents and siblings are all believers in Christ, but pretty much everyone else I know is not very religious. And a lot of times I'll go see some friends and after the interaction I fill a little bit hollow, unfulfilled. Or I'll be talking to somebody and they'll say something blasphemous and it's like a punch to the gut. I still am learning a lot about Christianity. I always had the faith, but now in my adult life Im learning the academic side of it. And I've learned that I 100% have to stay away from scary movies.
I'll look up a comedian I use to like when I was younger and then when I watch it I have to turn it off almost immediately. It makes me think " man what kind of person was I and I'm so glad those days are gone." So I definitely see what you mean. You have to protect yourself.
 
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Hi Lindsey :handwaving:

Nice to meet you.

I think everyone has days they feel like they don’t measure up. You’re not terrible and God definitely wants you.

I sometimes have to remember to stop using my measuring stick and use God’s.

God is awesome. And he made you on his image, so you’re awesome too! Sometimes you just need a little reminder :hug: (is that a hug? I wanted a hug symbol)
 
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JCFantasy23

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Your story sounds a little similar to mine. I think we've all went through this phase - or at least most of us - with those annoying intrusive thoughts we try not to think but keep bombarding us. I had to go to my aunt about this issue when I was a teenager and she helped calm me down. I'm glad you have the forum here to hopefully help you out on this issue. Just know you are a child of God and that is a precious, amazing thing that cannot be taken aware, especially with something as small as intrusive thoughts. As your anxiety gets better with this issue, the problem will get better.
 
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I have noticed that when I take closer steps towards God that things are good for a period of time and then the evil feelings hit me like a wave almost immediately after. Do you think it's demons around me lashing out at "the light" so to speak? Also, with in the last 3 years I have married my husband and moved in together. He was baptised as a Mormon and he doesn't practice the religion but for most of his life was very doubtful of all religion and only recently started taking interest into Christianity after we got married. But I dont think he's really declared his belief in Christ yet. And I would say things did seem to get more intense after I moved in with him. Do you think that there's any relation there. Can people pass on evil things to you like a flu?

Were you a professing Christian when you married him or did you become a Christian after?
 
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Johnny4ChristJesus

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Hello,
Lately I've been feeling very strange. I keep getting this horrible feeling and then my head is filled with a lot of bad thoughts like that I'm a terrible person, that there's something wrong with me and that God wouldn't want someone like me in His kingdom. I get feelings like I'm good for nothing, useless just feel very low.
Now, I know in my heart it isn't true. I've been a Christian my whole life and I've always believed in Jesus and loved Him.
And I believe that I am saved in my heart. And I know it is true because the bible tells me it is. So I dont understand why I can't get those bad thoughts to go away.

To help you understand whats going on in my head further, heres some deeper back story on my life. When I was a child I felt like I was close to God in a way. Things would happen here and there that seemed like messages from God answering questions only He could have heard me ask. Then I got older. I never turned away from my faith, but sort of fell asleep spiritually. In high school I wasn't behaving lile I should and being selfish with loose morals. Then recently in my adult life, (early 20s) I felt like I really reconnected with my religion as a Christian stronger than ever. It felt like a fog had lifted. I felt like I was really getting closer to God and understand the Bible with a new perspective. But then, immediately following this phase came the horrible feeling of me being worthless and so on. I get this overwhelming evil, icky, hateful feeling inside me that I can barely stand. I'm starting to get better at shutting it up, but I want to get rid of it completely. And theres an additional problem also....ever since I can remember I do this thing where my mind gets stuck on the worse thing it could conjur up and then I think about it over and over and over. And its usually something evil or harmful. Like for example: I remember being 3 years old and my mom bought me Polly pockets, which is a tiny toy that would be very easy to choke on. She told me not to ever stick it in my mouth. And as soon as she said that I had wished she hadnt told me that because then every time I played with it my mind was telling me to stick it my mouth and choke myself. And it isn't like just a thought. it's a feeling that's overwhelming to the point where I had to just put the toy away and do something else so I could forget about it because it was bothering me so much. I still do thattoday as a 26 year old but the thoughts are a lot worse.
sorry I'm writing a novel. I was just hoping somebody could look at this from a Christian point of view and tell me what they think is going on. Because lately I feel so far from God like I dont feel Him anymore when I pray. And I dont know if I'm just in my own head too much and He's standing next to me shouting and maybe I'm just not listening. Has anybody else ever felt this way or had these experiences?
 
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Hi Lindsey,
This is John's wife Anne. The battle for the mind, is something the enemy continue to attacks at. As my husband said taking every thought captive is an important thing to learn, he just ignores it. I had to learn to immediately say this out loud, when my thoughts would go the wrong way earlier in my walk. The battle was for years. Right now the devil knows you dwell on them, that is not what you want to do :), instead you want to take the thought captive quickly and replace it with a scripture that lifts you up. For example, I would say I take this thought captive in Jesus name, and then I would say that God does not give me a Spirit of Fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind. Or Proverbs 18:10 "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runneth into it and are safe. " What I went through, I came to understand, that the enemies attacks, where always to try and cause division. Division between me and the Lord, thinking that my thought was so bad, and sinful, how could God love me, so instead, I would also ask the Lord to forgive me the bad thought immediately and would believe that he did forgive me. That the enemy didn't want me to be close to God, and once you realize how he is attacking, you break what he is doing, by taking the thoughts captive and drawing closer to God. God has good plans for you. He loves you. As someone else suggested, fasting and prayer will also help. I find when I fast, that I hear clearer for God for direction, and I have seen him do miracles in people's lives. I have fasted no meats, and no sweets for 7 days or 30 days. I have also done just liquids for 3-5 days. I would like to pray for you. Dear Lord, you know the struggle that Lindsey has been going through. I pray a hedge of protection over her mind, soul, body and spirit. I pray Lord for you to break every chain and yoke of the enemy. I pray Lord for your Shalom peace to fill her up and for her to know that she knows that Jesus loves her, and wants good for her. I pray for healing of her emotions of things she has gone through in the past. I pray Lord that now that she is married, that her husband would desire to seek after you and to know you Lord. I pray that you would bring Christians in her life that would help her to grow in her walk with you and pray for her marriage. God I know that nothing is impossible for you, and I pray you remove all thoughts that go against your word, and that she be filled with the truth of your word and that you are for her. Thank you Jesus, for blessing her, touching her and healing her, in Jesus name I pray. Amen.
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2 Corinthians 10:5 [Full Chapter]
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
 
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