The 4 Dealbreakers

I agree.

These, of course, can mean different things to different people.

Unofficial Reverand Alex said:

1) Faith

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Yes, faith in Jesus, and how is the person helping me to please and obey God and learn how to be and how to love any and all people?

Unofficial Reverand Alex said:

2) Family

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Yes, family is important, but how much is it wise to invest attention and efforts with a family?

"No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier." (2 Timothy 2:4)

So, there can be good ways to share with family, but we need to not let ourselves get tangled in a family worldly matter. But one can exploit a worldly situation, for God's purpose. But do not let wrong people get you under their power.

And Jesus has us loving others as ourselves; so yes He will have us doing good to others not in our own family . . . or church family. And our real family is the people of God who live His way and are helping us to get real correction and maturing. For our own good, we need to spend time with these people.

Unofficial Reverand Alex said:

3) Finances

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"I will not be brought under the power of any" (in 1 Corinthians 6:12).

Do not allow money matters to have power over you, to get you into complaining and arguing and bitterness. Even if the other does not do what is right with money, I am not excused from the basic rules of Christian relating > no arguing, no bitterness, no complaining. And not lording myself over another to make that person do what I dictate >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

Unofficial Reverand Alex said:

4) Intimacy issues (sex, etc.)

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It is good to discover how intimacy is deeper than physical involvement. The pleasure of physical involvement can fool us into supposing we are being intimate, since we are feeling nice. But God's love is better, nicer feeling, and deeper.

So, these four things, yes . . . need to be dealt with. But I suspect we can fool ourselves into setting up a shopping list of things we check off in evaluating a person. And a problem with this is how someone can mimic what we are looking for. They might not even be trying to, if they are enamored. And you're hearing what you want to hear, when you too are enamored. But the person could be making you feel good, so your system is producing oxycontin and you could be getting hooked on that oxycontin that you are feeling with this person.

And later on ones can blame the other for being dishonest or not serious about the relationship. The other does not do what you dictate. Point at the other, always.

So, why not first make sure with God? Then you are responsible for your choice, you can't later say the other tricked you or turned out different than he or she was showing, at first. You make sure with God who knows the present and the future of the person. And, this way, you are responsible for the choice you make, including are you capable of being honest in communication with God so you can obey how He guides you about a person.

1) Faith
2) Family
3) Finances
4) Intimacy issues (sex, etc.)

Well, going by your list....

1 Faith. Of course but, faith in Jesus Christ is not enough. The Mormons say they believe in Jesus but, it is a different one. Catholics/protestants believe in the same Christ of course but, there are very different beliefs between them and that can cause lots of issues.
2. family. Your? mine? or the family we may have together? I would say the 3rd is most important
3. finances should be a much lesser issue compared to the ones above.
4 intimacy issues. I've had some Christian guys share some nightmare stories with me. yuck. Of course it is important and each others needs and desires are likely to differ with time. Not sure what the answer is.

other things?
*well, politics. I will not 'sleep' with someone opposed to me politically
* abortion?
* homosexual opinions/acceptance?
* sex prior to marriage or outside of it? Of course it is sinful and wrong but, how do they see it? ---Staff Edit---
* how about location? If they live in different areas, is the gal willing to move to be with you man ( head of household)? for centuries they did but, since the 1960s, not so much
Lots of dealbreakers out there. It is best to learn about these differences as soon as is possible/practical before getting to attached as we all may make compromises we may regret.

I can't really say I disagree with any of those things. I am assuming that you mean that these include things within them. For example, when it comes to family, this would mean how many children and how you would raise them. I do disagree that personality issues can be worked through, I would say that this is true to a point, but sometimes personalities are just not compatible.

The 4 dealbreakers are all things that change and develop throughout a marriage. People grow and life gets thrown at you. Often people think they agree or agree at the beginning of a relationship and life changes. I hope ones faith grows over their lifespan and what a person learns and believes may not grow parallel to their spouses growth. Family changes...children come...people die...and parents grow old and need care. Finances....this can change in a blink of an eye...and it is impossible to see how the other person will feel about money in the future...or even how we will react to a significant change. And if you enter a marriage without becoming sexually active, how in the world will you know how you react to that relationship....or how your spouse will react.

I think that the only thing that you can really do is to attempt to share how you feel at this time and why you feel that way...and commit to grow with each other which means learning to compromise and loving each other when you don't agree.