I agree... he can't find the right church to call home and forgive me @TheChgz but he doesn't seem able to find a wife, either. He is getting what he wants without having to give all of himself in the process. 7 years.... it's time to put up or shut up... marry or leave!No. He is NOT a good Christian. He sounds like a narcissist. They always turn any complaint around to the accuser; making them the bad guy and justifying themselves and their actions.
A good Christian would see their own sins and shortcomings when pointed out and repent.
he convinced me to become a Christian. So I became one, and now I want to do right for Jesus. He is a good guy and is probably more devout than he looks on the outside. I think he is just a little misguided.
it sounds like you're playing marriage without actually being marriage, so what motivation does he have to actually get married? spend a bunch of money so you can act the same way you been acting for years? Stop having sex, stop sleeping in the same room, stop playing marriage and see how quick he will get on a knee.We met when I was 16 and he was 24 (I'm now 24 and he 32). We pretty much fell in love at first sight. I didn't want to date him at first because of the age gap, but after a few months, it became too irresistible to refuse his advances. We were head over heels for each other. I wanted to save myself for marriage, but I gave into peer pressure when our classmates poked fun at us because we "hadn't done it yet".
Six months later, I found out I was pregnant. Even though we felt it was too soon, we saw it as a blessing. The night we found out, we were laying in bed and he whispered: "I suppose we should get married then". My reply was yes, even though I was hesitant. I expected us to tie the not before I gave birth and I felt it a little too soon. But I would rather do the right thing than wait.
Every time I tried to bring the subject up though, he would tell me to stop talking about it. The more I talked about it the more "stressed" he felt and "the less likely it was for him to do it". So I bit my tongue. As hard as it was for me, I stopped talking about it, assuming it would only be for a year. It was very hard for me, the longer it went on the more and more excitement built up.
Years later I hardly even think about it anymore. When I do I feel nothing but sadness. I want more than anything to just get married but he still acts the same when I bring it up. He says he will just surprise me one day and we will just do it. But I feel like I should just give up hope. I almost want to just find somebody else to marry! All I want is to be made an honest girl. It's tough.
If after seven years he's still ambivalent about getting married, I'd guess that he's not interested. I realize this wouldn't work for everyone, but for me, if I wanted to get married, I would stop wasting my time pining away for someone who doesn't and start looking elsewhere.I want more than anything to just get married but he still acts the same when I bring it up.
The temptation to have sex would be strong, probably, if they are in the same home. I would say have him live elsewhere.it sounds like you're playing marriage without actually being marriage, so what motivation does he have to actually get married? spend a bunch of money so you can act the same way you been acting for years? Stop having sex, stop sleeping in the same room, stop playing marriage and see how quick he will get on a knee.
I understand some things may not be very feasible especially with shared incomes but separate homes is certainly going to motive a wedding.The temptation to have sex would be strong, probably, if they are in the same home. I would say have him live elsewhere.
We met when I was 16 and he was 24 (I'm now 24 and he 32). We pretty much fell in love at first sight. I didn't want to date him at first because of the age gap, but after a few months, it became too irresistible to refuse his advances. We were head over heels for each other. I wanted to save myself for marriage, but I gave into peer pressure when our classmates poked fun at us because we "hadn't done it yet".
Every time I tried to bring the subject up though, he would tell me to stop talking about it. The more I talked about it the more "stressed" he felt and "the less likely it was for him to do it". So I bit my tongue. As hard as it was for me, I stopped talking about it, assuming it would only be for a year. It was very hard for me, the longer it went on the more and more excitement built up.
Years later I hardly even think about it anymore. When I do I feel nothing but sadness. I want more than anything to just get married but he still acts the same when I bring it up. He says he will just surprise me one day and we will just do it. But I feel like I should just give up hope. I almost want to just find somebody else to marry! All I want is to be made an honest girl. It's tough.
Dump him, focus on raising your child, tell him when he wants to get serious about marriage he knows where to find you. You may meet someone else, you may not; focus on your child.
Do you really want to be married to that for the rest of your life?We have never attended a church together. He has explained it as such, he feels like he wants to find a good church with a pastor/priest he trusts. I have looked around locally for the best church I can find, but none of the options has satisfied him. He is the kind of person that talks about what he wants and how he wants it, and if anybody tries to get him to do anything else he shuts himself away. He has to do everything on his own terms or not at all.
No my dear, he's not. Dump that chump.Don't let me make him sound bad though. He is a good guy...
Oh please, that's a totally self-serving load of crap. What a douche - if he really thought that he'd have married you years ago.And he talks about how "we are married in the eyes of God".
I would caution a bit on that.
The worst thing you can teach your children, is that they are the center of the universe.
Also, once someone gets their mind into a child-centered mentality, this is why 2nd, 3rd and 4th marriages have a 60%-90% divorce rate. No marriage can survive if one person or the other, is in a child-centered mindset.
Just a caution. That's all.
My advice is to tell him: Find a church and start attending and marry me NOW. If he does not, then leave him and find someone else.